“Gramps’s heart is giving him trouble,” Molly finally answered. She spoke in a low toneless voice.
“Are we going to go see him?”
Molly brushed the hair from Clay’s brow and gazed down on his sweet boyish face. “I don’t know yet.”
“But, Mom, don’t you want to?” Tom cried.
That hurt. Of course she did. Desperately. If she had the choice, she’d be on the first plane out. “Oh, Tom, how can you ask me that? I’d give anything to be with Gramps.”
“Then let’s go. We can leave tonight.” Tom headed toward the bedroom he shared with his younger brother, as if the only thing they needed to do was toss a few clothes in a suitcase and walk out the door.
“We can’t,” she said, shaking her head, disheartened once again by the reality of their situation.
“Why not?” Tom’s voice was scornful.
“I don’t have enough—”
“Money,” her oldest son finished for her. He slammed his fist against the kitchen counter and Molly winced, knowing that the action must have been painful. “I hate money! Every time we want to do something or need something, we can’t, and all because of money.”
Molly pulled out a kitchen chair and sagged into it, her energy gone, her spirits deflated by anger and self-pity.
“It’s not Mom’s fault,” Clay muttered, placing his skinny arm around her shoulders, comforting her.
“I don’t know what to do,” Molly said, thinking out loud.
“If you wanted to go by yourself,” Tom offered with a show of reluctance, “I could baby-sit Clay.”
“I don’t need a baby-sitter,” Clay insisted. “I can take care of myself.” He glared at his older brother, challenging Tom to proclaim otherwise.
“I can’t leave now, with or without you boys,” Molly told them sadly. She had less than twenty dollars in her checking account. It was the all-too-familiar scenario—too much month at the end of her money.
“I remember Gramps,” Tom said suddenly. “At least I think I do.”
The last time Molly had visited the ranch was shortly after her divorce almost ten years ago. Her grandmother, who’d already been ill at the time with a fast-spreading cancer, had died shortly afterward. Gramps had asked Molly to come live with him, and for a while she’d seriously considered the invitation. She told herself now that if she’d had any sense, she would have taken him up on his offer. She might actually have done it if she’d managed to find work. Fluent in both French and German, Molly was employed on a contract basis by an import agency. Unfortunately there wasn’t much call for her skills in the cattle country of western Montana.
During that visit Tom had been four and Clay still in diapers. Whatever memories Tom had were more likely the stories she’d told him about the ranch. Tucked against the foothills of the Bitterroot Mountains, the Broken Arrow was one of the lonely ranches scattered through the Flathead River valley. Molly often talked about it, especially after a letter arrived from Gramps. There weren’t many, only two or three a year. Her grandmother had been the one who’d taken care of family correspondence. Molly had discovered that Gramps hated talking on the phone even more than he hated writing letters; nevertheless, he made the effort to keep in touch with her. Each one of his letters was read countless times and treasured. Losing his lifelong love had devastated him, and even now, nine years after her passing, Gramps mentioned his wife in every single letter, every conversation.
Molly always answered his letters and routinely mailed him pictures of the boys. Over the years they’d talked on the phone a number of times but their conversations had obviously been uncomfortable for him. Gramps never had been much of a talker, nor was he like the stereotypical kindly old characters who populated kids’ storybooks. Nope, he was actually a bit of a curmudgeon. He yelled into the telephone as if he thought that was necessary in order to be heard and fretted constantly over what the call was costing.
No small man, he stood a good six-two and weighed at least two hundred pounds. Four-year-old Tom had found his appearance so scary that he’d clung to her leg the first few days of their visit. Clay had buried his face in her shoulder and wailed the instant Gramps came into view. Her grandfather didn’t have the slightest idea how intimidating he could be to small boys.
Had it really been nine years since she’d last seen him? It seemed impossible, yet she knew it was true.
“He yelled,” Tom murmured, lost in his own thoughts.
That was Gramps, all right. He was gruff and impatient and about as subtle as a gun in your face. To really know him was to love him, but he rarely gave anyone the opportunity to get that close. Never afraid to voice his opinions, Gramps went out of his way to make sure folks around him knew what he thought and why; anyone who dared to disagree was called a “danged fool.” Usually to his—or her—face.
When Molly’s grandmother was alive, she’d smoothed the waters. Her charm and humor had more than compensated for Walt Wheaton’s prickly nature. By now, Gramps had probably alienated just about everyone in Sweetgrass.
The foreman who’d phoned said he’d been around for more than six months. If Gramps had mentioned hiring a foreman in any of his letters, she’d missed it—hard to believe, considering how often she’d read them. But knowing Gramps, he’d rather chew nails than admit he needed help.
Sam Dakota. The name sounded almost familiar. She grinned weakly, allowing herself to be amused for just a moment—maybe she was confusing him with South Dakota. Or maybe Gramps had mentioned him, but not in a discussion about hired hands. She was sure of that.
The boys went to bed that evening with a minimum of fuss, for which Molly was grateful. She followed soon after, weary to the bone.
It shouldn’t have come as a surprise that she couldn’t sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was Gramps. All she could think about was the cantankerous old man she loved.
At midnight, Molly gave up the effort and turned on the light. Tossing aside the covers, she went to her desk and sorted through the drawers until she found the last letter she’d received from Gramps. She sat on her bed, legs crossed, and read it slowly.
Dear Molly,
Thanks for the pictures of you and the boys. They sure don’t look like they’re any relation to us Wheatons, do they? Guess I can’t hold it against them that they resemble their father. They aren’t to blame for that. The picture of you is another story. Every time I pick it up, it’s like seeing my own sweet Molly at your age. Only she wore her hair long.
I don’t understand what’s with women these days. They cut their hair short like they want to be men. Ginny Dougherty, the gal who ranches the spread next to mine, for instance—damn fool woman thinks she can tend a herd as good as a man, so she decides to look like one. She might be a handsome woman if she kept her hair long and even wore a dress. I tell you, her husband would turn over in his coffin if he could see what she’s done to herself.
As for the hair business, I’ll admit men aren’t much better. Seems a lot of them prefer to wear it long—like back in the sixties, hippies and all. But I never thought I’d see grown men—gray-haired geezers, for Pete’s sake!—wearing ponytails. Even worse—what do you call them?—those pigtails. Far as I’m concerned Willie Nelson’s got a lot to answer for.
It isn’t just the way people do their hair, either. More and more strange things are going on in Sweetgrass. A man doesn’t know who to trust any longer. People talk as if the government was the enemy. I didn’t fight in a world war to hear that kind of crazy talk, but then folks around here never have been keen for my opinion. I give it to them, anyway, whether they want to hear it or not.
The weather’s been good and bad. Winter hasn’t been too hard so far—only one blizzard.
The chickens are laying more eggs than I can use, which means they’re content. There’s nothing better than bacon and eggs for breakfast. I hope you’re feeding the boys a decent breakfast every morning and not that sugar-coated junk.
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Now about you. It sounds like Daniel finally got what he’s deserved all along. Imagine cheating those decent folks out of their hard-earned cash! I never did understand why you married that smooth talker. I knew the minute I met him he wasn’t any good. If you’d asked me before you were foolish enough to go through with the wedding, you might have saved yourself a lot of trouble. Well, at least you have your boys, so something good came out of the marriage.
You’re my only grandchild, Molly, and you’re all I have left. You know that. I remember the day you were born and your father called to say Joan had given birth to a girl. Your grandmother wept when she learned your parents decided to name you after her. They must have known something even then, because small as you were, you resembled my Molly, and you do so more every year. She was a beautiful woman, and you are, too.
I wish your marriage had been like ours. It was the best thing in my life, Molly. I’m glad you’re rid of that no-good Daniel, but I wish you’d marry again. Though I suppose that subject’s best saved for another day.
I want to talk to you about something else. I recently celebrated my seventy-sixth birthday, so I decided it was time I got my affairs in order. I had a new will drawn up. When I was in town last week, I stopped off and talked to Russell Letson. He’s an attorney who’s been around awhile, and his father and I used to be friends. I like Russell well enough, even though I suspect most attorneys are shysters. Anyway, I brought in my old will, and Russell and I talked a bit and he asked me a bunch of questions that got me to thinking.
There’s certain things you should know. First off, I’ve got a safe-deposit box at the bank. I put some medals in there from the war. When the time is right and they appreciate that sort of thing, you can give those medals to my great-grandsons. I suppose I should put your grandmother’s wedding band in there, but I never could bring myself to part with it. I got it on the nightstand next to the bed. Nine years she’s been gone, and I still miss her.
The ranch will be yours. I wish you’d moved here after Molly died, but I understood why you decided to return to California. For myself, I don’t know how you can breathe that foul air—I’ve seen what San Francisco’s like, on television. It can’t be good for the boys to be taking in all that smog. I’m hoping that after I’m gone you’ll give Sweetgrass another try. Folks here are hardworking and decent. Most years, the ranch should at least break even. And the house is solid. My father built it in 1909, and after he died, Molly and I added electricity and indoor plumbing. As houses go, it isn’t fancy, but it’s stood all these years and will stand longer.
That pretty well takes care of what I wanted to tell you.
I love you, Molly girl, and those youngsters of yours, too. I’m sure you know that, although I’m not one to say it often. This letter seemed like a good time to do it.
Remember—don’t let Daniel give you any more grief. He’s getting what he deserves.
Gramps
Molly read the letter a second time and then a third. It all made sense now.
According to what the foreman had told her, Gramps must have written it two months after he got the pacemaker. Her beloved grandfather hadn’t said one word about his health problems, and she knew why.
Daniel.
Gramps hadn’t wanted to burden her with more worries while she dealt with the publicity and embarrassment of Daniel’s trial.
Gramps was right about Daniel; a prison term was exactly what he deserved. As an investment specialist he’d been regularly stealing retirement income from his elderly clients. He’d been clever about it, concocting schemes and falsifying numbers; it had taken several accountants and finance specialists almost a year to uncover the full extent of his crimes. Throughout his entire so-called career, he’d been cheating the very people he was supposed to be helping. He’d lied to his colleagues and clients, lied to the police and the press. He’d even been caught lying under oath. His trial had lasted for weeks, with mobs of angry senior citizens packing the courtroom demanding justice. They didn’t get their money back, but they were there to see Daniel sentenced to twenty years.
Because Molly had been so distressed by what was happening to all these people who, like her, had once trusted Daniel, she hadn’t paid enough attention to some of the remarks in Gramps’s letter. She’d read and reread his words for the comfort they gave her, for the way they brought him close, but she hadn’t stopped to question his sudden interest in a will and settling his affairs. Hadn’t recognized that he was preparing her for his death. It seemed obvious now that he didn’t expect to live much longer.
Besides this letter, she could remember only one other time Gramps had told her he loved her—the day they buried her grandmother. She had no doubt of his love; he said it loud and clear, but rarely with words. Open displays of emotion embarrassed him, as they did many other men, particularly men of his generation.
This letter wasn’t the first time he’d commented on her marrying again. That theme had been a constant one since the divorce. The ink hadn’t dried on the legal papers, and Gramps was already trying to introduce her to the bachelor ranchers in the area.
The thought of another relationship still sent chills up Molly’s spine. As she liked to tell her friends, she’d done the marriage thing and wasn’t interested in repeating it.
Tucking the letter back in the envelope, she lay down, not expecting to sleep. But she must have drifted off because the next thing she knew, the alarm was buzzing. Gramps’s letter was clutched in her hand, held close to her heart.
It was clear to her then. So clear she should’ve figured it out months ago. The answer had always been there, but she’d been too blind, too stubborn, too willful to see it. It’d taken nearly losing her grandfather to show her what she had to do.
The small conference room off the principal’s office was the last place Tom wanted to be. Referred to as “the holding cell” at Ewell Junior High, the room was cold even during the hottest weather, and it had an unpleasant odor that reminded him of a dentist’s office.
Eddie Ries sat in the hard wooden chair beside him. Eddie’s mother was on her way to the school. Tom hadn’t heard when his own mother would arrive. All he knew was that when she did, she wouldn’t be happy.
Suspended for three days. That was supposed to be punishment? Tom almost laughed out loud. Time away from classes was practically a reward for screwing up! Personally Tom was sick of school. Sick of a lot of things he couldn’t change. His no-good dad for one, and the way the kids had looked at him when they learned the guy in the news was his father. He was sick of feeling helpless and frustrated—which was why he’d become involved in something he’d never thought he would.
He wasn’t friends with Eddie. Didn’t even like him. Eddie went searching for trouble; it made him feel big. Made him look like somebody to the homies. A big man on campus when in reality he’d never fit in. Tom wasn’t sure he did anymore, either; maybe that was what had made him do something so stupid.
While he didn’t regret the suspension, Tom hated adding to his mother’s worries. He could see how this news about his great-grandfather’s health had depressed her. All through dinner the night before, she’d barely said a word; she hadn’t eaten much, either.
Tom hadn’t had much of an appetite himself. He couldn’t stop thinking about Gramps. He wasn’t sure if he remembered the old man or not, but he let Clay think he did, mainly because he was the oldest and should remember. Clay had been a baby that time they were in Montana.
On his twelfth birthday—and the two birthdays after that—Tom had gotten a personal letter from Gramps and a check for twenty bucks. Before that, Gramps had always mailed his mother money and then she’d go shopping and pick something out for him. These last birthdays, the check was made out to him.
In his first letter Gramps had said a boy of twelve was old enough to know what he wanted. Old enough to go out and buy it, too. Tom never forgot the feeling that had come over him with that letter. For the firs
t time in his life he’d felt like a man. He might not remember what Gramps looked like, but Tom loved him the same way his mother did.
His mother was worried. She worried about a lot of things. Tom could always tell when problems got her down. Work, his father, money. Now Gramps. Over the years, he’d come to recognize the symptoms. She’d grow quiet and then three small vertical lines would form in the center of her forehead. It hurt to see those lines and know there wasn’t a damn thing he could do to help her. Those were the times he went to his room, put on his earphones and played music so loud his head pounded afterward. The music helped him not to think, because when he did, his stomach ached.
Tom wanted to help his mother. When he was a kid, he’d planned to become a magician and make all the bad things in life disappear with one flamboyant wave of a wand. He used to imagine doing that sometimes. With a flick of his wrist every problem would magically disappear.
The door to the conference room burst open, and Tom sat up straighter as his mother stormed in, her eyes blazing with anger.
Tom lowered his own eyes. He toyed with the idea of greeting her, then decided against it. She didn’t look like she was all that happy to see him.
“Gang symbols, Tom?” she said through clenched teeth, hands on her hips. “You painted gang symbols on the gym wall?”
“Outside wall,” he corrected, and regretted it immediately.
“Do you think it matters which wall?” she asked in a tone that told him the three-day suspension from school was the least of his worries.
Mr. Boone, the principal, walked briskly into the room, looking far too satisfied with himself—like he’d accomplished what he’d set out to do. Tom had never had strong feelings about the man, but he was inclined to dislike him now—simply for the smug way he smiled, knowing Tom was in major trouble at home.