“So far, nothing I’ve confessed to you seems to scare you, babe. I pray what I say next won’t either because it scares the hell out of me.”
She pulled away, looking up at him, the apprehension in her eyes like it was earlier when she admitted to being nervous.
“This might sound crazy to you, but I’ve been trying to figure this out for weeks, and after this weekend, I’ve come to one conclusion.”
He swallowed hard but continued to gaze in her eyes because he needed to see what she felt when he said this. “I’ve fallen in love with you.” Her mouth fell open, but he went on quickly before she could interrupt. “It didn’t happen overnight. I’ve been fighting it for a while. For most, that would be a good thing, baby, but I’m not sure it is in my case. I’ve cared about people before, but never like this. I’m not sure I’d handle the downs like a normal person would, and I’m telling you this now while you still have a chance to run.”
She shook her head and touched his face. “You are normal, Leonardo, and you’ll handle the downs the way everybody else does. You’ll—”
“No.” He shook his head, wishing he could just agree with her, but he couldn’t. Not about this. “There’s a reason for the nicknames, babe. Both La Feria and Beast. It’s no coincidence that they mean the same thing, and neither were names I chose. Anyone who’s been witness to it came to the same conclusion. It’s like there’s this switch in my head, and once it’s hit, that side of me is unleashed. I can control him for the most part but not when it comes to certain things, and I already know I won’t be able to when it comes to you. I felt it Friday.”
“Okay,” she said calmly and nodded. “I witnessed it too, but you handled it just fine. The guy had a gun. He posed a real danger to us both—”
“To you,” he said with conviction. “It’s a hundred percent what my reaction to him was about. It was all about you, and I’m telling you I know that’s how it’ll always be when it comes to you.” To his surprise, she smirked. Smirked. At a moment like this. “I’m serious, Ali—”
“I know you are,” she said, smiling even bigger. “They said the threat is over, right? And I don’t foresee anything of that nature happening at all anymore. So, note taken, but I’m not worried.” She ran her finger down his arm and licked her lips. “I’ve fallen in love with you too, Leonardo. Maybe we should focus on the romantic side of this predicament instead of the unnecessary worrying. Let’s talk about the positive side of this beast. I enjoyed unleashing him yesterday. I can hardly wait to unleash him again.”
Hearing her say she was in love too then her following it up with this was too much. With a groan, he picked her up, making her squeal. “The burgers!” she said as he began toward the door.
With a swift turn of his hips, he spun around halfway to turn off the burner on the grill. “We’ll come back for them. But you just hit that switch.”
Allison giggled in his arms as he raced into the house. If he could be sure when his roommates would be home or that his neighbors might not be watching, he would’ve bent her over right there on the deck. Instead, he’d be unleashing it in his bed this time, and he’d take it much slower than yesterday.
“FYI,” Bravo said as he walked into the training area where Leo was working on his bicep curls. “We’ll be having some company walk through here today. VIP’s, so look alive. A few of the Dodgers and even a few San Diego Padres along with some other associates are coming by to take a tour and just check things out. They’ll be walking through here. No need to go out of your way to say anything to them. Just do your thing. No biggie, but I thought I’d give you guys a heads-up in case you’re wondering what they’re doing in here.”
Leo nodded along with the others and carried on with his workout. Halfway through his time on the speed bag, the group of men walked in. A couple of the older ones wore shirts and ties; though, instead of professional like he was sure they were trying to look, their choice of tie colors and patent leather shoes didn’t say sophisticated. More like gaudy. One of them even wore white shoes. They reminded Leo more of the grease-ball mobsters he dealt with once upon a time. The younger guys were all dressed down in jeans and even basketball shorts.
Seeing Sabian, Lila’s superstar fiancé, walk in instantly had Leo on edge. Allison assured Leo more than once now she’d deal with her sister. She’d reminded Leo that she was an adult capable of deciding what was best for her and that her sister would respect that.
You’re what’s good for me.
As with all his reactions to anything Allison, he didn’t even realize he was smiling until the loud laughter snapped him out of it. A few of the guys in the group continued to laugh as they glanced around. Most looked familiar, and Leo was sure it was because they were all players. He wasn’t the biggest baseball fan, but Nine was, especially of the Dodgers, so the games were constantly on at their place.
Then he did a double take. One of the guys still smiling big looked familiar, only not like the other guys, not like Leo might’ve seen him on television maybe even a commercial here and there. There was a different familiarity about him, except Leo couldn’t quite place the face.
For most people, this wouldn’t be a big deal, but with Leo’s past, he had to watch his back. He had to make sure he didn’t inadvertently come face-to-face with a past adversary, someone who might make trouble for him.
The group moved along the far side of the room and Leo let it go. If the guy had really been anyone that important, Leo was certain he would’ve been able to place him. He concentrated on his training again. As he moved on to his speed-bag training, the group of men made it around the room and began passing by where Leo stood.
Leo glanced up and saw them take him in curiously as they had everyone else who was training in the room. The guy he thought he’d recognized was busy talking to one of the bigger guys in the group, someone who Leo recognized, the superstar catcher of the Padres. Much like with Sabian and some of the other big name professional athletes, you didn’t even have to be a baseball fan to know this guy—Rage Romero. The guy had major celebrity status.
Never one to gawk at even as big a star as Rage was, Leo began to glance away, until he saw the guy with him do a double take when he saw Leo. For a moment, they were locked into a stare down, and despite the guy’s big smile slowly waning, Leo still wasn’t sure what to make of it.
Thankfully, the guy looked away soon enough, as if he realized he’d been too obvious. But this weirded the fuck out of Leo. Clearly, he did know the guy from somewhere. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t remember from where.
Glancing up a few more times as they finished making their way through the training room, Leo thought he saw the guy looking his way casually each time. When the group of men reached the training room double doors, Leo glanced up to see the guy leaning in to ask Bravo something then motion his head in Leo’s direction. Bravo didn’t turn in Leo’s direction, and Leo might’ve thought he was imagining things if it hadn’t been for the heavier of the two older guys with them who jerked his head around to look at Leo.
If Leo wasn’t mistaken, the guy he still couldn’t place snapped at the older guy, who immediately made a show of looking all around the room. The mystery guy pushed one of the doors open and walked out. Bravo held the door for the older guys who followed and some of the other guys in the group.
Then there it was. Much more casually than the older guy, Bravo glanced in a few different directions of the room, said something to the guys walking out, but didn’t walk out before looking at Leo. He smiled, giving him a quick goodbye salute as the last guy in the group walked out and Bravo followed. “The fuck was that about?” Leo muttered under his breath.
He sat there for a few moments, wondering if he should even worry about it. Then he decided it’d be stupid to worry. He’d likely never see the guy again, and for all he knew, the guy could just be someone insignificant from way back. Only like Leo, maybe it was driving the guy crazy too if he was also try
ing to figure out where he recognized Leo from.
When he was done with his training and sparring sessions, Leo rushed through the motions of showering and changing. It’d only been a week since he’d given in to his carnal desires for Allison, but most importantly, his heart and already his life felt different. He was trying not to panic, but he still couldn’t decide if thinking of her every waking moment and then dreaming of her most nights was a good or bad thing.
The terrifying dreams had magically ceased since he’d opened up to her about his past and confessed to being in love with her. Now most his dreams consisted of him being with Allison. He’d gone from waking in terror, to waking up in complete bliss with a much larger-than-usual morning wood every day.
Their agreement to keep things casual and on the down low for now had gone right out the window. They hadn’t done anything stupid like make out openly in front of others, but with her sister being away from the gym most of the last week, Allison had been there almost every day.
With Nine and Orlando gone this past weekend, Allison had spent the weekend with Leo at his place. And to his surprise, it hadn’t been nonstop sex. They’d spent equal amounts of time talking and getting to know each other. Even more surprising was, not just that so far he hadn’t had issues telling her about his past but, how accepting she was of all his past mistakes.
Your past mistakes are meant to guide you, not define you.
Allison had said Sabian had told her sister that when she’d admitted to being ashamed of some of the things she’d done in her past. Once again, Leo walked out of the locker room, unaware he was smiling until he saw her and smiled even bigger.
“Hey,” she said as he walked up to her where she was casually waiting for him.
“Hey,” he said, struggling to refrain from touching her, but he had to be mindful that Sabian could still be in the gym.
“Feel like Barros?”
Leo thought about it for a moment. “Pizza?”
“Yeah.” She smirked. “They have very private booths.”
“Hell, yeah,” he said as she giggled.
Minutes after they’d ordered, they were sitting in a booth at Barros way in the back. Allison had just begun to slide in next to Leo, when he pulled her to him, glancing around quickly before devouring her mouth. “Jesus Christ,” he said between kisses even as his heart thundered in a mixture of bliss and absolute terror. “I had you all weekend, and I can’t get enough of you.”
“I promise you.” She caressed his face as she kissed him back, just as eagerly. “I feel the same way.”
As usual, their conversation carried on as effortlessly as always. Leo loved watching her explain things and get excited. Like when the subject of life goals and dreams came up. She mentioned she had two big dreams in life. The first she spoke of eagerly. She wanted to break into journalism in a big way. “With the Internet nowadays, it’s not like before where you had to land a job in one of the big networks or CNN or something. Now you can pave your own way. I’ve started doing podcasts and even have a few sponsors.”
She went on and on about it, but when he asked about the second dream, she got a little tight-lipped.
“What is it?” Leo asked curiously.
“I suppose it’s every girl’s dream—well, most I know.” She shrugged. “But sitting here telling my boyfriend about it might sound like I’m hinting. And I’m not,” she added quickly. “I wanna focus on my career first. But my other dream . . .”
She paused, smiling sweetly as the color in her face deepened, and she took a very telling sip of her water. Leo peered at her as she cleared her throat, and for a moment, he considered glancing away since she seemed so uncomfortable suddenly. But there was no way he was tearing his eyes away from her now.
“I guess once or twice in my life I’ve visualized what my life might be like around say thirty or so. I’m a successful journalist with a wonderful husband and a house full of kids.”
She chewed her bottom lip, pausing as if waiting for a reaction. Leo stared at her, smiling as he too visualized his future with her. “How many kids you want?”
“At least three,” she said, smiling big. “And I’ll be totally hands-on: class mom, little league coach, the whole nine yards.”
Leo laughed, feeling a warmth inside he’d never felt. His whole life not once had he ever thought of his future in terms of marriage and a family. But suddenly, he couldn’t think of anything that sounded better.
“What about you?” she asked, squeezing his hand. “You have dreams?”
“I do,” he admitted; though for now he’d only tell her about one. “Me and the guys had an auto shop once. Fixing them not selling. Cars and bikes. Me and O did the fixing. So did Nine, but he’s a bit of an artist, so he specializes mainly in making them look good: rebuilding them, painting them, that kind of stuff.”
“Restoring old cars and bikes?”
“Exactly.” Leo smiled, loving the genuine excitement in her eyes. “But it didn’t work out. The shop we had was in a real shitty neighborhood. Kept getting broken into, and the landlord was a real piece of work. Everything was broken down, and it was like pulling teeth to get him to fix them, so we closed, but we’ve all been saving in the hopes of buying our own shop. No more renting. We keep hitting roadblocks, but we’ll get there again someday.”
She already knew both Nine and Orlando were working for mechanic shops now, and as soon as Leo was done with work-release, he’d do the same.
“I believe you’ll get there someday,” she said, hugging him tight. “And I’m excited for you. For us.”
“For us.” Leo smiled, staring down into her eyes. “I like that.”
He kissed her softly at first, but just as he’d been every time they’d had one of their moments before that day, Leo lost himself in their kisses. He knew he should be more careful. They shouldn’t be so damn blatant in a public place so close to the gym, but he was powerless to fight it. It was insanity. Less than two weeks ago, he’d begged her to stay away from him, and now he felt ready to kill anyone who might try to keep her from him.
Taking a deep breath, he focused on enjoying her instead of getting worked up over something that might never happen.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, stopping for a moment to look in her eyes.
She smiled, and as usual, despite her unease about the compliment, she didn’t look away. “Thank you.”
He kissed her again, softer this time. Sweeter, less hungry.
“I’m telling Lila today.”
That made Leo freeze, but he managed to recover fast enough, and he pulled back to look at her. “I thought you said you were gonna wait?”
“I know, but except for when I kept things from her for her own good—so she wouldn’t end up in jail—I’ve never kept anything else from her. It doesn’t feel right.”
“But what if—?”
She kissed him before he could finish. “Nothing and no one can possibly keep me from you now.” She smirked, tilting her head. “Heck, for as much as you tried, even you couldn’t.”
“That was only because—”
She kissed him again, giggling against his lips. “I understand why you did it. And Lila’s just going to have to understand why that’s not going to be possible anymore.”
Leo stared at her, feeling a terror that only confirmed why he knew he’d never feel for anyone what he felt for Allison. What would Lila think of him sleeping with her baby sister? He couldn’t even blame her for feeling protective of Allison. She should. He was glad for it, except not when it came to her possibly interfering and cutting him out of Allison’s life. He wasn’t even sure where this was headed—what he’d possibly ever have to offer Allison—yet the thought of losing her after having her for less than two weeks was a paralyzing one.
Trying not to sound as alarmed as this made him feel, he swallowed hard, searching her eyes. “What are you gonna tell her?’
“Well, she won’t be home until tonight because
she said she and Sonny were going out.” It surprised him that she was still smirking silly, even when his heart was pounding away in his chest. “They’re having a romantic dinner on account of how they haven’t seen each other in almost two whole days.”
This made her giggle, and that alone at least had Leo smiling again. She caressed the side of his face as if she knew, even with him trying to hide it, how uncomfortable the idea of her telling her sister about them made him.
“Lila can be a hothead, but, believe it or not, her relationship with Sonny has really changed her for the better. Not that I thought there was anything wrong with her before. She had come a long way from her days of biting heads off.”
Leo gave her a look to remind her that Lila hadn’t come that far. Just a few months ago, he’d seen firsthand how far she hadn’t come yet. This made Allison laugh, and thankfully, as her smile and laugh usually did, coupled with her touch, they helped assuage the unease he’d been feeling. “Okay, maybe she still needs to work on not reacting so compulsively to defending those near and dear to her,” she said, motioning to herself with her thumb. “But this is why I want to tell her about this sooner than later. I know my sister. She’s never been violent or ever threatened me in any way. But she would be incredibly hurt if she heard about us from a third party, rather than directly from me. With this . . .” She paused to lift their entangled fingers, and Leo kissed her hand, making her smile so sweetly he breathed in deep. “I've been seriously thinking about telling her for days, but after today I know I better. I mean here I know both she and Sonny are in town and . . .” She leaned in and licked his bottom lip then pulled away and smiled. “Modesty be damned. I can’t keep this a secret much longer. So, I need to make sure I’m the one she hears it from, not anyone else.”