blue eyes and she's kind a scrawny if you ask me, and as stubborn as a billy goat" he paused and picked up a piece of straw to chew on, then looked over at me.
I tilted my head to the side trying to remember all the girls Billy had courted over the last few years, but none matched that description.
"You really don't know?"
"No, I don't!"
He shook his head then dropped it to look at the ground.
"It's you silly girl!" He teased, laughing.
My chest tightened threating to choke all my air flow. "No… No one wants to marry me!"
He snorted. "I'm afraid so, Kaitlin! He's had an eye for you ever since we were kids runnin' around in the cow pasture."
"But his father didn't even want him to play with me, much less allow him to marry me."
"He's never cared what his father said about you. It's never mattered to him."
Panic was bubbling through every word I spoke. "But he's with Sue."
"No he's not."
"How do you know that he's not?"
He shrugged. "He told me his plans for your future himself."
"No, that can't be…" I cringed and looked up at Joe. "What am I going to do? I don't love him–" I stood and began to pace. My throat suddenly felt very dry. "I'm mean at least not in that way."
"Then I reckon you won't be acceptin' his marriage proposal?"
"What? I–"
"Kaitlin, I didn't think it was possible for your skin to get any whiter."
My legs began to shake and I dropped back down next to him.
"Joe!"
"Kaitlin, does you not wantin' to marry that boy have anythin' to do with the nephews of the man who bought our farm?"
I glanced in the direction I'd last seen Logan and Robert.
They are handsome… I thought. And there is somethin' different about both of them.
I couldn't quite put my finger on what though. And no thanks to Joe, I had yet to meet either of them.
Our never-failing town rumor mill was in full force, but all I could find out about them was that they were from down south and had come up to visit their uncle on his new farm… and their names were Logan and Robert. Nothing that momma hadn't already told me.
It was surprising how little the gossip mill knew... especially seeing as how they aim to know everyone's business and spread it like wildfire. Not to mention that new family's only move to our town once in a blue moon, so it was always a big deal when there was a new face in town.
"Kaitlin, you're doing it again! Wake up." Joe said, poking my side.
I gasped and let out the breath I was holding. "No, of course not! I haven't even met 'em. Why would you say that?"
"Well anybody would have 'ta be blind not to notice how often you've looked their way tonight." He chuckled.
I felt blood begin to pool in my cheeks.
"Well look-a-there, you look like a ripe tomato now!"
I buried my face in my hands mumbling. "Oh Joe, what am I goin' to do?"
He pulled me up into a sitting position. "You're going to be honest with Billy, when the time comes."
I nodded. "I will."
Encounter
Kaitlin
Oh Daddy! You always start workin' before the crack of dawn! I grumbled burying my head under my pillow. Sadly, the paper thin layer of stuffed cotton wasn't enough to drown out the echo of hammers pounding into freshly cut wood – the very wood Billy and I'd helped dad cart home and unload the night he'd asked me to be his wife. My quick "no" hurt Billy to the core and I hadn't seen him nor heard from him. Daddy wanted to give Billy time to lick his wounds but he still needed help building the new barn so he asked our neighbor, Mr. Henry, after church two Sunday's after the spring festival, if his nephews could help.
They'd happily agreed and daddy let me know that my help would not be needed. I couldn't help but think he was trying to punish me for refusing Billy's proposal by keeping me inside with momma and my sisters. Ever since I turned Billy down he was bending over backwards to keep me doing "woman stuff" – as he liked to call it lately. And, since momma didn't need my sisters and me until well after sunrise, dad said I was free to sleep in.
With my eyes still half closed, I tossed my pillow at the open window and cursed myself for not closing it the night before.
"So much for stayin' in bed, Daddy!" I complained.
I stumbled out of bed desperately hoping after I closed it, I could get back to my dream... A dream that included our new neighbor's nephew. I'd seen him and his brother a few times in town over the past two weeks, and once at church, but daddy had still yet to introduce me to them.
Yawning, I leaned my head against the wooden window frame. The sun was just beginning to peak above the mountain range and casted a hazy glow through the trees. Our once golden grass was now a deep vibrant green, and sparkling like blades of diamonds; the dogwood trees my father and I planted around the house ten years ago were now in full bloom and standing tall.
The hammering stopped, snapping me out of my sleepy haze. I looked out to where the construction of our new barn had begun. The two brothers that our neighbor, Mr. Henry, had volunteered a week ago seemed to be angry about something and their raised voices were now echoing through the morning breeze. Logan was crouched down shaking his left hand and the taller of the two, Robert, stood up and laced his hands behind his head laughing down at his brother. I couldn't make out what they were saying to each other so I leaned my head out of the window, straining to make a word out.
Logan glanced up and caught me leaning half way out my window. I was still in my white nightgown with my hair falling loosely down my back. He smiled, and then mouthed something to his brother that had him looking in my direction and waving. My father walked up behind them and tilted his hat up so he could see who they were waving at.
Embarrassed, I spun and pressed my back against the wall.
Oh, no! The last thing I need is for Daddy to see me watching them, after the week I've had!
Things had gone downhill since the day I refused Billy's marriage proposal.
Momma and Daddy just couldn't understand what would cause me to turn down such a fine young man. I tried to make them understand that night, sitting in our cramped living room, why it wouldn't be fair to Billy for me to marry him when I didn't love him that way. They both frowned down at me.
Daddy tossed his newspaper to the side and shook his head "You know, Kaitlin, there aren't any other young men beating down our door for you to be so picky." Taken aback by his harsh words I sat silently by the fire trying to warm the chill that was snaking through me. "I gave that boy my blessing because he's a good man and I know he will take good care of you."
"Daddy, I'm sorry. I know he's a good man, but are you saying I should marry someone I don't truly love?"
"You could learn to love him if you'd just stop being so headstrong."
"But dad-"
"Young lady you'd better come to your senses and accept his hand… and it should be sooner rather than later' cause that boy isn't gonna wait forever."
I looked over to where momma was sitting in her rocking chair knitting some bootees for one of her friends' new grandbabies. I desperately wanted her support, but when all was said and done, momma would never go against daddy even if she believed he was wrong. After all, my father had given Billy his blessing to ask me the night of the big snow storm and momma quickly busied herself working on my party dress, at least that's what she called it, before the proposal.
I sighed and glanced across the room at the almost finished party dress she'd laid on my dresser. I had one more fitting then the dress would be ready and waiting for me - when, or if, I said yes. I didn't have the heart to tell momma I had no intentions of ever marrying Billy. I loved him, yes… but like a brother, and that's all it would ever be.
I marched over to the dress, slipped into the flowing white silk that swept elegantly to my ankles and stood in front of the oval mirror, frowning at my reflection. It's
okay… you can do it. This is the last time you will have to put this dress on. I sucked in a deep breath and hurried downstairs, sliding my hands along the top of the banister.
Momma was perched at her sewing machine that sat atop a small wooden table. Her honey blond hair was up in its usual bun at the nape of her neck. She was busy stitching up a rip in my sister Emma's Sunday dress, but when she glanced up through the glasses perched on her nose the needle stopped.
"Oh my," she said covering her mouth, "just look at you. That dress looks just beautiful on you; you're gonna make such a beautiful bride one day."
"Thank you." I said forcing a smile and wishing I could just say yes to Billy and take away the worry that seemed to always cloud Momma's eyes.
"Come now, don't look so down-cast. Everything will work out just the way it's supposed to."
I bit my lip and stepped into the crowded room.
"Momma, I need to talk to ya about something."
She smiled. "I'm listenin'."
I averted my eyes from hers and searched for something else in the room to focus on. A photograph of our family sat proudly displayed on a wooden shelf next to the window. I must have been ten when it was taken, which would have made my twin sisters around five years old. My heart sank anew every time I caught sight of it. Momma had tried to ease my pain by removing the few we had around the house after she found me clutching one in my hands, sobbing with the truth that was obvious to anyone who looked at the picture of us together. I stuck out like a sore thumb with my almost ebony hair to their copper and honey. Not to mention my pale completion to their olive.
I pushed the fresh wave of pain aside and shifted back toward momma, trying to think of the right words to convince her once and for all that I had done the right thing by not accepting a marriage proposal from someone I would never love the way he deserved to be loved… Even if it meant I would likely become an old maid. But I stopped short; the love and hope swimming around her eyes had me reigning in my confession.
"I'm… I'm really worried about Scout. He is still losing weight." I sputtered out instead, knowing Daddy would have my hide for telling momma there was anything wrong with any of the animals.
She frowned and pushed the dress she was working on to the side. "Wasn't Vet Richardson out yesterday takin' a look at him?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Well, what'd he say?"
I shifted my weight from side to side wishing I could've come up with something else to tell her. She narrowed her eyes studying me. "Kaitlin what did he say?"
When I just stared at her wide-eyed she repeated herself.
"He said we may have to think about putting him down if he doesn't put some weight back on."
She pressed her lips together and waved the words away with the back of her hand. "Oh honey, I don't want you worryin' yourself about that. I'm sure he'll be fine… Now come on over here and let me finish pinnin' that dress," I stepped up next to her as she knelt down and fastened the first few pins in the hem.
"Kaitlin, have you given any more thought to Billy's proposal?"
I felt my eyes moisten, knowing I was going to disappoint her. "Yes ma'am. I – I – I…"
She stopped in the middle of securing a pin, and looked up at me. "Oh dear! Where did those tears come from?"
"I'm sorry, Momma" I sniffled.
"Oh Kaitlin…. Don't be sorry, this can wait." She stood up wrapped her arms around me and led me to the front door. "You go on out and get a little fresh air. I'll just finish up Emma's dress. When you're ready, come on back in and I'll finish pinnin' the dress."
"I'll be fine Momma, you can finish."
"No, you go on out now, the fresh air will do a body good. I think you bein cooped up in this house day in and day out for the past two week has put you on edge. I just don't know what your father's thinkin." She mumbled and then headed back to her sewing room.
I stepped out onto the verandah with momma's words still bouncing around in my head. She was right, I needed the fresh