But she would run. If she had to.
Taking a deep breath, Ariana turned and looked up at the ceiling again. She tried to imagine up a new life for herself. A life as Emma Walsh. Where would she go? If Lexa broke her silence and compromised her Briana Leigh identity, Ariana wouldn’t be able to flee to any of Briana Leigh’s homes. But if she was able to get back to Texas and grab the jewels, she could sell them for enough cash to open a significant account under her new name and then . . . then she could choose her country, choose her new home.
Ariana’s heart thumped. She clasped her chenille blanket—the one that was usually tossed at the bottom of her bed for decoration and did not lend much warmth—closer to her chest. Suddenly she felt overwhelmed by a yawning sense of loneliness. The great, wide world spread out before her, full of strangers, void of friends. After all she’d been through, would she really have to start all over again? Would she really have to say good-bye to everything—and everyone—she’d come to love?
There was a creak, and Ariana’s head popped up off the pillow. Her door slowly opened, and a booted foot stepped into the room. Ariana’s chest constricted, and she sat up straight, lunging for the lamp on Kaitlynn’s desk. Her fingers had just closed around the cold brass stand when Jasper’s blond hair came into view.
He looked at Ariana’s bed in confusion, then his eyes darted across the room and fell on her. Suddenly Ariana realized she must look pretty ridiculous sitting in an almost bare bed, her toes exposed, as she clutched a blanket and a lamp like a crazy paranoid person.
“What are you doing?” they both whispered in unison.
Ariana rolled her eyes, replaced the lamp, and flung her blanket aside. Lexa gave a loud snort and rolled over onto her side. For a split second, both Ariana and Jasper froze. Then the cadence of Lexa’s breath returned to normal. Ariana tiptoed across the room, grabbed Jasper by the wrist, and pulled him out into the hall. His skin was cold, and his breath was shallow and ragged, as if he’d just run up the stairs and was trying to hide the effects.
“Why is Lexa sleeping in your bed?” Jasper asked.
“Why are you sneaking into my room?” Ariana demanded.
Her own heartbeat was still normalizing after the fright he’d given her. She looked up and down the hall, which, since it was three in the morning, was blissfully quiet.
Jasper smirked and leaned back against the wall. He wore dark blue jeans and a gray crewneck sweater, and his cheeks were ruddy, as if he’d just come in from outside. No wonder his skin was frigid to the touch. What was he doing outside in the middle of the night? He looked her flannel pajamas up and down, and her face burned as he took in the colorful polka dots.
“Nice jammies.”
Ariana crossed her arms over her chest self-consciously. “Jasper—”
“I wanted to see how your date went,” he said matter-of-factly.
Ariana’s eyes darted to the floor, as the irritation, humiliation, and boredom of the night washed over her anew. She still couldn’t believe how narrow-minded Palmer was.
“It went fine, thanks,” she replied.
“That good, huh?” he joked.
Ariana had had just about enough of this. All this flirting. This coyness. This childishness. It might have been cute a week ago, but now things had changed. Now, with the potential end of this world looming, she didn’t have time for such things. She looked up again, looked Jasper in the eye, and felt suddenly desperate. Desperate for some honest, straightforward truth.
“Jasper,” she said firmly, “what are you really doing here?”
The smile fell from his face. His eyes grew serious.
“Seizing the moment,” Jasper said. He reached up and touched her lips with his thumb, cupping his other fingers around her chin. Ariana froze, feeling his touch in every inch of her body. Her heart pounded in her ears.
“Jasper,” she whispered harshly.
“Just shut up,” he said.
And then he kissed her.
“Lexa, where are you going?”
Everyone at the lunch table looked at Ariana, who realized with an embarrassed pang that she had maybe blurted that question a tad too loudly. Lexa paused, half out of her chair at the head of the table.
“To the bathroom,” she said flatly.
Ariana shoved her chair back. “I’ll come with you.”
She dropped her sandwich, placed her napkin alongside her plate, and got up. She hadn’t let Lexa out of her sight for a second all day. She just couldn’t risk it. Not until she made sure the girl was stable. Or decided what, exactly, to do if she wasn’t.
As Ariana followed Lexa to the end of the table and out into the aisle, all she could think about was the fact that the crazy behavior had to stop. She didn’t want to forge a new life for herself. She wanted to live this one.
Even if it didn’t come to that—even if Lexa never mentioned a word about Kaitlynn, even if her ramblings continued to be nonspecific, they had to stop. Because one more nonspecific public rambling was going to get her ousted as president of Stone and Grave. And Ariana couldn’t have that. She wasn’t sure what she wanted to use Lexa’s power for yet, but she knew it was going to come in handy one day. It would be nice if she had some time to figure out how.
“So, you had Ferren for English last year, right?” Ariana asked as the two girls made their way around chair legs and tossed backpacks.
“God. Don’t remind me,” Lexa replied, rolling her eyes.
“I know! She really likes to have a lot of grades in before the end of the term.”
“Seriously,” Lexa said, hugging herself. “It’s like the first half of the semester there’s barely any work, and then she suddenly starts piling it on.”
“At least she assigns good books,” Ariana said. Small talk was so very normal. So very not crazy. “There’s not one I haven’t enjoyed reading.”
Lexa shoved open the swinging door that led to the lobby and the bathrooms beyond. She held it so that Ariana could walk through first “Right. But it doesn’t matter if you like them or not. What matters is whether or not you can remember every character and their motivation.”
“Is that what the test will be about?” Ariana asked, following Lexa over to the bathroom.
“Yep. Trust me. Make a character list, and write down exactly why each one of them did what they did. It’s the best way to study.” She started into the bathroom, but paused. “Oh, and make sure you get the spellings right. She’ll dock you points for misspellings.”
“Noted,” Ariana said.
At that moment, the side door to the building swung open, and Jasper walked in. Ariana’s heart skipped an excited, anticipatory beat, but it was quickly extinguished by guilt. The kissing the night before . . . it had been amazing. But it had also been wrong. Very wrong. She was with Palmer. And Ariana was a lot of things, but she’d never been a cheater.
Ariana glanced at Lexa, who waited just inside the bathroom. Part of her hesitated, not wanting to leave Lexa alone for even a second. But the bathroom appeared empty, and Jasper was sauntering toward her.
Lexa couldn’t spontaneously confess to anyone in the bathroom if there was no one to spontaneously confess to, right?
“I’ll be in in a sec,” she told Lexa.
“Okay.” Lexa let the door close, and Ariana turned to face Jasper.
“Hey,” he said, pausing in front of her with a smile. This time it wasn’t sly, but comfortable. As if he was settling in because he now knew where he stood. Which just made her feel even guiltier, this time over what she was about to do to him.
“Hey,” she said tentatively.
“So listen, I’ve been thinking about your double date last night,” Jasper said.
Ariana blinked. That was unexpected.
“And you know what I think?” He tilted his head, one hand in the pocket of his slacks.
“Um, what?” Ariana asked, taken off guard.
He took a step, closing the gap between them, reache
d out, and fingered the lapel on her APH blazer, rubbing the fabric between his fingertips. Ariana suddenly found herself breathless. “I think that tonight you should meet up with me. Because I . . . will show you a good time. Unlike some people.”
Ariana glanced toward the heavy wooden doors that separated her and Jasper from the dozens of people in the dining hall. If that door opened, someone would see. Someone would catch her and Jasper standing so close together their breath was mingling. And just like that, her relationship with Palmer would be over.
For one terrifying moment, a piece of her actually wished it would just happen. Wished the doors would open and the end result would be out of her hands.
And the fact that she wished it would happen—the fact that she wished, in that moment, for a lack of control—was what scared her. Jasper brought that out in her. Just as Thomas had. She couldn’t do that to herself again. And she couldn’t do it to Palmer either.
“I can’t,” she said, taking a step backward. “I have a study date with Palmer.”
Jasper’s face fell ever so briefly, and then he smiled. “Okay,” he said. “If that’s how you really want to spend your time. But just so you know, I don’t have a date with anyone. And if you want me, I’ll be waiting.”
Ariana knew that she had to keep an eye on Lexa, but she drew the line at inviting her along on her study date with Palmer. A foursome had been fine, but a threesome would be nothing but awkward. Which meant there was only one thing for her to do.
She needed to find a babysitter.
Which was why she left her government class five minutes early, had Quinn meet her with a latte and a coffee with sugar, and positioned herself outside Conrad’s calculus classroom two seconds before the bell rang. Lexa seemed to be herself around Conrad, for the most part, as long as they were one on one and not surrounded by a crowd. Ariana wasn’t sure if Conrad’s presence calmed the girl or if she was working hard to impress him, but it didn’t matter. She knew she would feel safe if Lexa spent the night alone with her boyfriend.
“Hey, Connie!”
Ariana stepped forward the moment his broad shoulders filled the doorway. He paused and gave her a confused smile. “Hey, Ana. What’re you doing here?”
“I left class early for a caffeine fix because I was falling asleep, but the guy at the Hill gave me the wrong cup and I had to reorder,” Ariana lied smoothly. “He was going to dump it out, but then I remembered you like black coffee with light sugar, right?”
She held the cup out to him with a beatific smile.
“Wow,” he said, accepting it. “Good memory. Thanks.”
Ariana lifted a shoulder and kept her eyes on him as she sipped her latte. “I pay attention to details.”
The rest of the class was parting around the two of them as they stood right in front of the door. Ariana caught a couple of curious glances from April and Christian, but they kept walking.
“So, got any plans for tonight?” Ariana asked. She turned and started slowly down the hallway, and Connie fell into step with her.
“Not really,” Connie said with a shrug. “Probably just studying. Why?”
“Oh, nothing, it’s just . . . I think Lexa could use some quality boyfriend time,” Ariana said. “If you’re not doing anything, maybe you guys could go out.”
Conrad paused at the top of the stairs, stepping aside to let a couple of teachers pass them by.
“Did she say something to you?” Conrad asked, taking a sip of his coffee.
“No, just . . . like I said, I pay attention to details,” Ariana replied. “She’s been down lately, and I just know that being with you makes her happy.”
Conrad’s face broke out in a grin that could have stopped traffic. “It does?”
“Of course. She really likes you, Conrad,” Ariana assured him. “And I think you’ve been really good through everything that’s been going on with her. Clearly you’re a stand-up guy.”
Taking a sip of his coffee, Conrad seemed to mull all of this over. “Well, I wouldn’t want to lose my reputation as a stand-up guy,” he said finally. He gave her a light tap on the arm, which almost knocked her over. “Thanks, Ana. I’ll take her out tonight.”
“Cool. Have fun!” Ariana called after him as he descended the stairs.
He lifted his coffee by way of a good-bye, then disappeared out the front door. Ariana smiled to herself over a job well done. Babysitter acquired. And all for the small price of a cup of coffee.
“Okay, here’s an easy one,” Palmer whispered, leaning toward Ariana across the corner of the table they shared in the library that night. “Which amendment started prohibition and which amendment ended it?”
Ariana stared across the packed library study section at the glowing green exit sign above the door. When Jasper had said he’d be waiting, did he mean in general, like waiting for her to break up with Palmer, or did he really mean he’d be waiting for her tonight? Was he back at Privilege House right now, actually, physically waiting for her?
“Ana?”
Ariana blinked and looked at Palmer. God, he was gorgeous. His brow knit in concern, and he reached for her hand under the table. His palm was warm as he cupped her fingers atop her leg. His fingers brushed her skin just under the hem of her skirt. Two weeks ago that contact would have sent her skyrocketing through the ceiling. Now all she could think about was Jasper’s hands. Jasper’s fingers. Jasper’s touch on her thighs. . . . What was wrong with her?
“Are you okay?” Palmer asked. “You seem kind of out of it.”
“Do I?” Ariana asked, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry. It’s just . . . I can’t stop thinking about the English exam I have on Friday. Lexa told me what to do to study for it, and I just think I should be doing that right now.”
Palmer leaned back in his chair. “Oh, okay. Yeah, I guess this can wait.”
Ariana started to gather her things. Suddenly she felt almost panicked to get back to Privilege House. To just be by herself, in her room, where things were infinitely less confusing.
“It’s just, I feel like I have the government stuff down, but for the English . . . there are just so many books. I really think I need to start making notes,” Ariana told him. She slammed her heavy government book closed, and the noise drew attention from all the neighboring tables.
“No problem. Do what you’ve gotta do,” Palmer said. He stood up as she stood up and planted a quick kiss on her lips. “I’ll call you later.”
“Okay. Cool. Bye,” Ariana said.
And she was out the door without a second glance. She struggled outside with her unorganized books and notebooks, her laptop weighing down her bag against her hip. Then she hoofed it up the hill to Privilege House.
Once in the elevators, Ariana tapped her foot impatiently. The ride seemed to take forever. When the doors finally slid open, Ariana ducked out and sprinted for her room. Inside, she dropped her bags on the floor and turned to switch on the light, but before she could, a hand came down over her mouth.
Ariana’s heart leaped into her throat. She opened her mouth to bite down on the hand, but then she inhaled and stopped. It was Jasper. She could smell his piney cologne.
“Shhhhh,” he said in her ear, his chin brushing her neck from behind.
Ariana pressed her lips together to keep from giggling with relief. Then a blindfold fell over her eyes and was tied tightly at the back of her skull. She felt a brief twinge of fear mixed with annoyance over being manipulated, but then decided she didn’t care.
And just like that she surrendered herself to him. She relished the feeling of his strong grasp on her arms as he turned her around and led her silently through the door. She basked in the fact that she trusted him completely—that she was letting him do what he would. It was in that moment that Ariana knew, truly knew, that she was falling in deep.
Because there was no one, absolutely no one, for whom Ariana Osgood was willing to lose control.
At least, no one who was sti
ll breathing.
Finally the blindfold slipped from Ariana’s eyes, tickling her cheek as it fell. She gasped when she saw the spread before her. The large movie screen standing near the edge of the roof. The piles of pillows and blankets strewn across the floor. The stars twinkling overhead. She turned to Jasper, and he smiled. He was wearing a gray sweater and a black coat, and looked so handsome Ariana wanted to melt.
“Jasper. This is amazing,” she said.
“I know,” he replied with a self-satisfied grin.
Ariana clucked her tongue and rolled her eyes. “How did you do this without anyone seeing?” she asked. Then her heart skipped a frightened beat. “No one saw you, right?”
“Of course not,” he said. “Stealth is my middle name.”
“But what if someone comes up here?” she asked, her eyes darting to the door. “What if—”
Jasper closed the distance between them and pressed one finger to her lips. “No one ever comes up here between the months of October and April. May, June, and September are another story, since apparently the girls around here are still interested in contracting skin cancer. But November? Don’t worry about it.”
Ariana took a deep breath and let herself relax slightly. She turned and walked around a low brick wall that ran across the center of the roof. She noticed that some of the pillows had been propped up against it on the other side, forming a makeshift couch.
“You do realize that we have a movie theater right downstairs,” Ariana teased, lifting one of the velvety red pillows. “As I recall it’s supposed to be one of the privileges of living in Privilege House.”