CHAPTER XVIII.
"No, never more, O, never in the worth Of its pure cause, let sorrowing love on earth Trust fondly,--never more! The hope is crushed That lit my life,--the voice within me hushed That spoke sweet oracles."
The unnatural excitement that had borne our heroine up during the lastpart of her trial forsook her when she entered once more her drearyprison. She was again alone,--again a weak and timid woman. Themomentary exaltation that a sense of injustice had given her when underthe gaze of numbers, gave way to memories of the deep and unforgottenhappiness she had connected with Seymore. All her sweet anticipations ofsoothing his spirit, of leading him to more rational views of God and ofhimself, faded away. In a few days, she would be no more, andremembered, perhaps, with pity or scorn. One last, lingering weaknessremained: it was the fear of losing the respect and tenderness ofSeymore.
Like all who love deeply, she had dated her existence from the time shebecame acquainted with Seymore: all before had become a blank in hermemory; but now her early years rose up before her, like the reflectedsunlight on distant hills. The thought of her father came back withmelting tenderness. Ah, now was he avenged for the short forgetfulnesswith which she had ever reproached herself.
She threw herself on her knees, and prayed silently. She felt calmed andelevated, as if in immediate answer to her prayer. All selfish andagitating emotions passed away. A spirit of forgiveness, of endurance,of calm and patient trust, entered her soul. She felt that, withSeymore's convictions and sense of duty, he could not have actedotherwise; he could not but bear his testimony to what he thought truth;and almost a divine pity for his errors, and a purer love for his truth,filled her heart.
She was informed that Seymore was waiting to see her. This was a trialshe had expected, and she was now prepared to meet him. He enteredtrembling, pale, and wholly unmanned. As he tried to speak, his voicefailed, and he burst into tears.
It is fearful to see a strong man weep. Edith was not prepared for thisexcess of emotion. Those who have seen Retch's exquisite drawing ofCordelia when Lear awakes, and she asks "if he knows her," can imaginethe tender pity of her expression as she went to him and placed her handin his. A sweet smile was on her lips,--that smile that shows that womancan mingle an infinite tenderness with the forgiveness of every injury.He pressed her hand to his heart--his lips; and when he caught hereye,--"O, do not look so mildly at me," he said; "reproach me, scorn me,hate me: I can bear all rather than those meek eyes,--than thatforgiving smile."
"Be calm, dear Seymore," she said; "with your convictions, you could nothave done otherwise. You believe in the reality of these possessions.The evidence against me was more and stronger than has been sufficientto condemn many as innocent as I am. You can have no cause forself-reproach."
"Innocent! O, say not that you are innocent! God has many ways of tryinghis elect. You he has tried severely with temptations from the prince ofevil. He chooses souls like yours. O, Edith, for my sake, for your ownsake, acknowledge that you have been tempted. It only is required thatyou should say you have been deceived; then all will be well."
For a moment, Edith's face was crimsoned. "What! become a traitor to myown soul! lose forever the unsullied jewel of truth, and the peace of apure conscience! and do you counsel this?"
"Many have confessed," he said, "many of undoubted truth, of ripewisdom, who could not be deceived, and who would not confess to alie."[4]
[Footnote 4: "Fifty-five persons, many of them previously of the most_unquestionable character for intelligence, virtue, and piety_,acknowledged the truth of the charges that were made against them,confessed that they were witches, and had made a compact with the devil.It is probable that the motive of self-preservation influenced most ofthem: an awful death was in immediate prospect. The delusion hadobtained full possession of the people, the witnesses, the jury, and thecourt. By acknowledging the crime, they might in a moment secure theirlives and liberty. Their principles could not withstand the temptation:they made a confession, and were rewarded by a pardon."--_Upham'sLectures on Salem Witchcraft._]
"But _I_ should confess to a lie,--a base and wicked lie. I have nofaith in these temptations. I believe God suffers us to be tempted byour own passions and unrestrained imaginations, but not by visible orinvisible evil spirits. O, listen to me: go no further in this mad,this wicked delusion. Spare the innocent blood that will be shed. If Imust die, let my death be the means of turning you and others from thisdreadful sin."
"And can you bear to have your name sullied by this alliance with thewicked? Those who die as criminals are believed guilty of crimes; andcan you consent to be remembered as the associate of evil spirits?"
"Falsehood can live but a few years," she answered; "there is animmortality in truth and virtue. I cannot blush to be confounded withthe guilty; for it is my unwillingness to sully my conscience with a liethat leads me there."
Seymore was silent for a few moments. "Edith," he said at last,straining both her hands in his, "have you been able to think how cruelthis death may be? Have you fortitude? Can you bear to think of it?" andhe shuddered, and covered his face with his hands.
Edith for a moment turned pale. "I have ever shrunk," she said, "fromphysical pain. My own extreme timidity has never given me courage tobear the least of its evils. I believe, then, that it will be spared me:God will give me courage at the moment, or he will mercifully shortenthe pain; for what is beyond our strength we are not called to bear."
"And can you part with life thus triumphantly?"
"Ah, my friend, there is no triumph in my soul. In its deepestsanctuary, I feel that God will pardon my sins, and accept my death asin obedience to my conscience. But, O! I have not sought it: life isstill sweet to me."
"You shall not die,--you must not! you will not leave me! Edith, haveyou forgotten our moments of bliss,--our dreams of happiness tocome,--the quiet home, the peaceful fireside, where we hoped to pass ourlives together? Have you forgotten how long, how truly, how fervently, Ihave loved you? and is this to be the close of all?"
Edith's hand trembled in his, but she answered cheerfully: "The close!ah, no: look upward. God has tried us both with grievous trials. Minewill cease first. Yours is the hardest to bear: to linger here--to doGod's work alone. Let me be to you like one departed a little whilebefore you, that would not be mourned, but remembered always."
They were both silent for some moments; Seymore contending withunutterable regret, oppressed with an emotion that was almost the agonyof remorse.
Edith understood his contending emotions. "Think," she said, "that youhave been the instrument of Providence to lead me to heaven. I do notregret to die early: God has permitted me to solve the mystery of life.I see his hand even from the moment when that child was committed to mycare. Thank God, I can now submit to his will; and, although life weresweet with you, my death may bring you nearer to heaven."
"Edith," he said at last, "I have been deceived. Such faith, such divineforgiveness, such noble fortitude, cannot be the work of evil spirits.Your faith is purer and stronger than mine,--your reason moreenlightened. I have erred, dreadfully erred."
A bright smile illumined her face, and she pressed his hand in hers.
"I have done most dreadfully wrong," he said; "I sinned from ignorance."
"God will forgive you," said Edith; "and I,--I cannot forgive, for Icould not blame."
He started up. "It is not too late to repair this dreadful evil: it willbe easy for you to escape. If I cannot gain a reversion of thesentence, we can escape: we will leave this country of delusion anderror; we will go home--to England. There, O Edith--"
The blood for a moment rushed to Edith's cheek and brow; but sheanswered, sadly, "No, Seymore, it cannot be; after all that has passed,it would ruin your character, your prospects, your usefulness, forever.We are too weak to stem, to oppose this mad delusion. Bigotry and powerare all around us."
"You hesitate. Ah, you do not love me as you did;" and he became againviolent
ly agitated.
Edith took his hand in hers, and pressed it to her lips. "Tempt me not,"she said, "with visions of happiness that can never be. Let us ratherpray to God to support us in this bitter hour."
They bowed their young heads together, and their tears mingled. Edith'ssilent prayer was wholly for him. True to her woman's nature, she forgotherself in his deeper sorrow.
He was calm, and Edith would not prolong the interview; and Seymore lefther all the more hastily as he was determined to employ every means tosave her. He was not permitted to enjoy that happiness.