CHAPTER XXIV
After Kitty had left Francis Eversleigh she would have preferred toretire to the seclusion of her bedroom, but she knew that if she did soit would cause surprise to her friends and lead them to guess somethingwas amiss. Anxious to spare them, she forced herself to join them in thedrawing-room, and sat for an hour, taking her part in the general talk.Then, saying she was rather tired, she withdrew.
Between the making of a heroic resolve likely to cost the maker dear,and the carrying out heroically of all the resolve entails, there is,unless resolve and deed go swift together, room for many changes offeeling not unlike the rising and the falling of waves. Within Kitty'sbreast the waves rose and fell that night, now bearing her aloft so thatthe sacrifice of herself seemed easy, now burying her in depths whichmade it appear impossible.
She did not really waver in her determination; her mind was made up tosave the Eversleighs from the calamity which threatened them. Whattroubled her most was the way in which she should communicate herdecision to Gilbert. She knew that he loved her with all the strengthand passion of a strong nature, and he knew that she loved him. And nowshe must tell him that she was not going to marry him, but Bennet, thevery man, in fact, against whom she had warned her lover, and whom, shewas well aware, he detested. How was she to break the news to him? Howtell him so that he would understand her decision was irrevocable?
For one thing, he must not know why she was breaking off theirengagement. Francis Eversleigh had assured her that Gilbert wasunconscious of Silwood's frauds; indeed, she had not required any suchassurance. And she was determined that he should not know from her. Shesaw, then, that she could give him no explanation. She must just tellhim bluntly she had changed her mind. But, in that case, what would hethink of her? what must he think of her? And that she should chooseBennet of all men! Gilbert could not but misunderstand her. He mustthink her deceit itself.
It was this thought, more than any other, that sunk her deep in gulfs ofdespair.
And then she told herself that this, too--this renunciation of the goodopinion of her lover, this misunderstanding she must subject herselfto--was part of the price she had agreed to pay to save him and hisfather from ruin. "And Gilbert," she said in her heart, "will never knowwhat I have done for him. He will deem me fickle, false, base, a cheatand a lie!"
And then a sort of rage came upon her, and she asked why this fate hadbeen thrust upon her; what had she done to be made the victim of suchoutrageous fortune?
"Why should I suffer thus cruelly?" she cried rebelliously. "Is there noescape?"
She thought of what she had said to Francis Eversleigh--how she wouldgladly give up her wealth to Bennet if that would satisfy him. And nowshe remembered that the whole of her fortune was not lost, for there wasstill a considerable portion of it in Canada. Could she not make abargain with Bennet? She resolved to try, but she did not believe shewould succeed.
If she failed, and she felt she would, and was compelled to agree tomarry Bennet, then it would be impossible to stay any longer with theEversleighs; she must make arrangements for leaving them at once. They,too, would think her hateful and detestable. It was all very bitter!
"Yet they must never know," said Kitty, pondering darkly all thesethings through the long blank hours.
In the morning she saw Francis Eversleigh alone for a few moments.
"Kitty," he said, in a shaking voice, "you must not sacrifice yourself.It is not right. Tell Bennet to do his worst. We must bear it as best wecan."
There was a brave smile in the girl's eyes as she answered him.
"I have decided," she responded. "You need have no fear. If there is noother way, I'll marry Mr. Bennet."
Then she stopped and looked at him earnestly.
"It may not be necessary," she remarked. "Perhaps the money and propertyI have in Canada will be enough to satisfy him."
"Kitty, Kitty," cried Eversleigh, "I do not know what to say--do notknow how to tell you, but I so love and admire you! But you must notblight all your sweet young life for me--it is not right. As it is, yousuffer enough at my hands in the loss of the greater part of the fortuneyour father worked so hard for."
The girl took his hand and pressed it gently.
"I have made up my mind," she said gravely.
Eversleigh, unable to speak, raised her hand to his lips, and kissed it.
Punctually at twelve Bennet made his appearance at Ivydene. He foundKitty waiting for him in the shrubbery in front of the house.
"I have come for your answer," he said, without prelude. "Is it Yes orNo, Miss Thornton," he asked excitedly.
"Will you listen to me first--just a moment," she pleaded, as she sawthe impatient working of his face; "only a moment?"
"Well," Harry replied grudgingly; "what is it?"
"If you will tell me how much Mr. Eversleigh owes you, I will pay it toyou--every farthing," replied Kitty.
Bennet shook his head with an almost savage gesture.
"Miss Thornton," said he, "you will not understand me. I have told youthat I love you. And all's fair in love and war. I am glad to have thishold on you--glad to think that if it is even against your will I havesuch a chance of making you marry me, and I shall not relinquish it.Don't you see, Kitty, I should be a fool to give you up?"
"I will give you twice the amount Mr. Eversleigh owes you, if you like."
"It is useless, quite useless, to make any proposition of that kind,"said Bennet, who, of course, thought that the girl's money would come tohim in any case. "Will you marry me, yes or no?"
"But you know, Mr. Bennet, that I do not love you. You know that I amengaged to Gilbert Eversleigh?"
"Gilbert Eversleigh!" cried Bennet, with a fierce, scowling, threateningexpression. "Why should I consider him? He took you from me; if it hadnot been for him, perhaps you would have loved me. I hate and loathe thevery sound of his name. I should like to see him disgraced and ruined,but I am foregoing that gratification because I love you. I would rathermarry you than wreak my vengeance on him, and to give up thisopportunity of revenge is no slight thing for me to do."
"He has given you no cause for such feelings!"
"Cause enough," said Bennet. "But all this is stupid. For the last time,I tell you that the fate of the Eversleighs is in your power. Will yousend Francis Eversleigh to prison, or will you marry me? That is theissue. And you must answer at once; I will be trifled with no longer."
Kitty, however, did not speak.
There was a sudden panic in the girl's heart. She was asking how couldshe bring herself to marry this man, with his coarseness and brutality.
"It is No, then!" exclaimed Bennet. "You doom your friends to hopelessruin and infamy."
"Mr. Bennet, the answer is Yes," said Kitty, her voice quivering, buther heart once more steadfast.
"You will marry me?" asked Bennet, a note of joy in his rough tones.
"Yes, to save the Eversleighs."
"You will marry me soon?"
"Mr. Bennet, you must remember that my father has only been dead a fewweeks."
"Kitty, now you have promised to marry me," said Bennet, and he spokewith an accent of sincerity, "I will remember anything you like to askme to remember, for I do love you. But you will not keep me waiting toolong?"
Having gained his object, Bennet tried to drop the bully and to becomethe lover.
"You do love me," said Kitty, scanning his face.
"With all my soul!"
"And yet your love is not strong enough to make you give me up--evenwhen you know I do not love you, and that my love is another's?"
"Oh, I am not that sort of man; I am uncommonly human. When I see mychance I go for it with all my might; and here is my chance come bywonderful luck, and I take it. What an ass I should be not to take it!Do you blame me so much for doing so, when you, Kitty, are the prize tobe won?"
Confident now that he had carried the day, Bennet spoke quitepleasantly. He even attempted to put his arm round the girl, but shewould
not let him.
"Mr. Bennet," she said, the colour burning in her cheeks, "I havepromised to marry you, and I shall not break my word, but I do not loveyou. Pray spare me until--until----" And she stopped with a slightchoke.
Bennet swore under his breath.
Aloud he said, "As you please, Kitty," and stood frowning at herheavily.
"My promise to you," Kitty reminded him, "is conditional on your givingMr. Eversleigh a full discharge from all his indebtedness to you."
"Yes. You shall have the necessary document from me on the day of ourmarriage; that is fair, is it not?"
"Will you not let me have it now, or very soon?"
"I'm to give everything and get nothing?" asked Bennet. But even as heput this question he told himself there was no danger of the girl goingback from her promise, and that he might safely let her have thedischarge. Still, if he did so, it must be on terms. So he continued,"I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll give you that discharge the first timeyou kiss me."
Kitty, though her heart felt like breaking all the while, smiled a wanassent.
"Is it a bargain?" he inquired.
And she nodded.
"You shall have the discharge," cried Bennet, "as soon as it can beprepared. Does that content you?"
"Yes," said Kitty, and there was a pause.
"My proposed marriage to you," said Kitty, speaking again, "will bringabout some changes. It is quite plain that I can stay no longer atIvydene with the Eversleighs--they will not understand why I am actingas I am doing, and, indeed, they must not suspect why it is. I shallhave to invent some plea--some excuse. Until I have gone--for I mustgo--I do not wish them to know that I am to marry you. FrancisEversleigh will know, but none of the rest need know until I have leftSurbiton."
"Where do you think of going?" inquired Bennet. "You must not go faraway."
"I have a distant relative--a second cousin of my father's--inYorkshire. She is an elderly lady, and has more than once asked me topay her a visit. It is to her that I shall go. Indeed, there is no otherto whom I could go; she is the only relative that I have in the world."
"Yorkshire is a long way off," said Bennet.
"I can think of nothing else," she said.
"You will let me know what you decide," said Bennet, after an intervalof silence.
"Yes. I'll write you. And now good-bye," said Kitty; "I feel tired andworn out."
When Bennet had gone, Kitty braced herself for the painful tasks whichlay before her. First of all, she told Mrs. Eversleigh that she wasgoing to Yorkshire next day, and though Mrs. Eversleigh said verylittle, the girl saw that she was hurt, offended, and greatly mystified.And Helen Eversleigh, Kitty could not but notice, thought her conductstrange. But neither of the Eversleigh ladies pressed her for anexplanation, for which Kitty was thankful.
But infinitely the hardest thing was what she should say to Gilbert. Shesat down in her room with a sheet of paper before her, but for a longwhile she could not bring herself to touch her pen. How she wished shecould tell him something of the truth--tell him that she was not thefalse, fickle light o' love he must think her!
Again she had to fight the battle with herself, and again shetriumphed.
It was a very short letter, but it was written in her heart's blood.
"Dear Gilbert," it ran, "I have changed my mind. Our engagement must be broken off. I intend marrying Mr. Bennet.--KITTY."