CHAPTER XIII.
SILENT CONFLICT.
The maiden kept her silent promise; faithfully she obeyed the hest ofHadassah. Seldom as possible did she enter the room which communicatedwith the hiding-place of Lycidas, and never save in the company of heraged relative. Zarah's wheel was carried to her sleeping apartment;heat and discomfort were made no excuse for leaving the more secludedportions of the small and inconvenient dwelling. Zarah, a voluntaryprisoner, avoiding seeing him who appeared to her to be an embodimentof all that was beautiful in form, and brilliant in mind, one whosesociety resembled the light which glorifies every object on which itmay fall.
And Zarah did not, as many maidens in her place might have done, punishHadassah for throwing her influence into the scale of duty, by showingher the extent of the sacrifice which she had required. The younggirl, while her heart was bleeding, struggled to maintain a serene andplacid mien. Hadassah never heard Zarah sigh, never surprised her intears. No duty was neglected, no work left undone; nay, Zarah spunmore busily than ever, for the support of the stranger was a drain onthe scanty resources of Hadassah, and to work for him and pray for himwas the sole indulgence which Zarah could allow herself withoutself-reproach. She tried--how arduous was the effort!--even to turnher thoughts from the subject which was to her as the forbidden fruitwas to Eve. The chasm which divided Abraham's daughter from theheathen was one over which, as Zarah knew, it would be sinful to throweven the rainbow bridge of imagination. She must force her mind fromapproaching the dangerous brink. How many of the Psalms of David,always those most mournful in their tone, Zarah repeated to herself, tobring solace to her spirit by day, or sleep to her eyelids by night.While Judas Maccabeus was maintaining a gallant struggle against theenemies of his country, conquering, but through much stern endurance,Zarah, with the same faith and obedience as animated the warrior, waskeeping up a more painful fight against the heathen in her own gentleheart.
There was one subject of thought, and that a distressing one, to whichZarah's mind most readily reverted when she would turn it from thechannel into which it was ever naturally flowing. This was the mysteryconnected with the fate of Abner her father. The few words which hadescaped Hadassah in an unguarded moment, were as the dull red lightwhich a torch might throw on the sides of some yawning pit, whosedepths are left in profound darkness. Often had Zarah yearned to knowmore of her father, how he had died, for she had once deemed him dead,where his dear remains had been laid,--all that concerned him was ofdeep interest to his only child. But any attempt to break through thereserve which sealed the lips of Hadassah had evidently occasioned suchacute distress that Zarah had long since given up the hope of gaininginformation from her. Anna had entered the service of Hadassah, sincethe Hebrew lady had quitted Bethsura; the attendant knew nothing, andtherefore could tell nothing, of what had previously occurred in thefamily. Solomona, when she had paid occasional visits to herkinswomen, had never given Zarah an opportunity of speaking on sodelicate a subject. Once when Zarah had ventured to ask the question,"Did you know my father?" Solomona had appeared not to hear it, and hadinstantly started some quite irrelevant topic of conversation. Abishaidoubtless knew much about the brother of his wife, but Zarah shrankfrom questioning him; from his fierce impetuosity of character, he wasnot one to draw out the confidence of a gentle and timid girl. Zarahalmost felt as if her uncle disliked, and for some reason which sheunderstood not, regarded her with mingled pity and contempt. Thus thedaughter of Abner, cut off from all means of gaining reliableinformation, was thrown back on her own conjectures. A vague doubtwhich had lately arisen in Zarah's mind, but which had alwaysheretofore been repelled as treason to a parent's memory, was givenform and substance by the faint exclamation which grief had wrung fromHadassah, "_Must I know that misery twice._" Many slight circumstancesthen recurred to Zarah's memory to confirm her suspicions, especiallythe anguish which Hadassah had betrayed at the burial of Solomona, whena strange pang of envy had seemed to intensify that of bereavement.Zarah was as one bending lower and lower over that pit of which shelonged, yet dreaded, to sound the depths, straining her eyes topenetrate the darkness, while trembling to think what horrors thatdarkness might hide.
"Is it possible that my father may yet be breathing on earth,living--the life of an apostate!" The idea haunted Zarah like aspectre. There was only one hope which had power to lay it: "Ifliving, he may be spared for repentance. God is merciful; He judgethnot severely; He delighteth in receiving His wanderers back. Did notNathan say to penitent David, 'Thou shalt not surely die;' was not eventhe guilty Manasseh restored to his throne? Oh, the son of the piousHadassah, a woman of such faith and prayer, can never be lost!" Aftersuch meditations, the burdened heart of Zarah would find relief infervent supplications for her father. Her filial affection came to theaid of her religious obedience. "God will not hear prayers," thoughtZarah, "from one in whose heart an idol is enshrined. For my father'ssake, as well as my own, let me strive to give unreserved obedience tomy Lord."
So, endeavouring to overcome one grief by the help of another, and tocast a veil over both, Zarah passed weary day after day, letting nomurmur mar her offering of meek submission. She would even speakcheerfully to Hadassah, and sing to her songs of Zion, which the agedlady delighted to hear. There was one song especially dear, in whichHadassah had herself woven prophetic promises into verse. The rhymesmight be rude, and altogether unworthy of their theme; but when softlywarbled by Zarah's melodious voice, they appeared to the aged listenerlike the very breathing of hope.
LAY OF ZION.
"Jerusalem, thou sittest in the dust, God's heavy judgment on thy children lies; But He in whom their fathers put their trust Shall bid thee yet, as from the grave, arise.[1] Oh, Zion, discrowned Queen! A throne awaits for thee;[2] For glorious thou hast been, All glorious shalt thou be.[3]
"Behold the white-winged ships from Tarshish strand,[4] Shall bear thy sons and daughters o'er the wave; All nations call thee blessed, delightsome land,[5] Which God of old to faithful Abraham gave.[6] Oh, Zion, &c.
"Ephraim with Judah God shall then restore,[7] The Hand that severed, now uniteth them; Ephraim shall envy, Judah, vex no more,[8] All shall rejoice in thee, Jerusalem. Oh, Zion, &c.
"Assyria, Egypt, shall with Israel join,[9] (The land where Daniel trod the lion's den, The land where Pharaohs bowed at Apis' shrine), Oppressors once--but more than sisters then. Oh, Zion, &c.
"God shall a wall of fire round thee abide,[10] To guard thee as the apple of the eye;[11] Rejoicing as the bridegroom o'er the bride.[12] For He hath pardoned thine iniquity.[13] Oh, Zion, &c.
"The mountains may depart, the hills may shake,[14] But nought thy Saviour's love from thee shall sever, The mother may her sucking child forsake, God thy Redeemer shall forsake thee never.[15] Oh, Zion, discrowned Queen! A throne still waits for thee; For glorious thou hast been, All glorious shalt thou be."
[1] Isa. lx. 1.
[2] Isa. xxii. 23.
[3] Isa. lx. 13, 14.
[4] Isa. lx. 9.
[5] Mal. iii. 12
[6] Gen. xiii. 15.
[7] Ezek. xxxvii. 16, 17.
[8] Isa. xi. 13.
[9] Isa. xix. 24.
[10] Zech. ii. 5.
[11] Zech. ii. 8.
[12] Isa. lxii. 5.
[13] Isa. xliv. 22.
[14] Isa. liv. 10.
[15] Isa. xlix. 15.