accusations.”
“I saw—”
“Maybe you saw what you were ready to see. That’s on you, Hayley. Now I’ve got work. If you’ve got any more to say about this, then say it after hours.”
He strode off toward the pond, leaving her no choice, as she saw it, but to storm away in the opposite direction.
“THEN HE HAD the nerve, the nerve to snap at me and act like I was in the wrong.” Hayley paced back and forth on Stella’s front porch while Lily raced over the lawn after Parker. “Acting like I’ve got a dirty mind or that I’m some crazy jealous witch because I have a reasonable and legitimate complaint about him slobbering all over another woman. And in front of my face.”
“Before you said she was slobbering over him.”
“It was mutual slobbering. And when I walked in on them, after seeing all this going on through the door, he acts like it’s nothing. He doesn’t even have the grace to look embarrassed or nervous.”
“So you said.” Twice, Stella thought, but she understood the nature of female friendship and didn’t mention the repetition. “Sweetie, we’ve both known Harper for some time now. Don’t you think he would’ve looked embarrassed if he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t?”
“I guess I just don’t mean enough to him for it to embarrass him.”
“Now stop. That’s not true.”
“It feels true.” Hayley slumped to the steps. “It feels awful.”
“I know.” Sitting beside her, Stella wrapped her arm around her shoulders. “I know it does. I’m so sorry you were hurt.”
“He doesn’t even care.”
“Yes, he does. Maybe what you saw hit you wrong because of the way you feel about him.”
“Stella, he kissed her.”
“He’s kissed me, too.”
“It’s not the same.”
“If you hadn’t met me before, and you saw him kiss me, what would you think?”
“Before or after I mentally ripped your lungs out through your nose?”
“Ouch. I’m not saying it didn’t look bad, but that you might have, possibly, misinterpreted. I’m saying that because I know Harper, and because of his reaction.”
“You’re saying I overreacted.”
“I’m saying, if I were you, I’d want to find out for sure.”
“He slept with her. Okay, okay,” she muttered when Stella stared at her. “Before, and before is before, blah blah. But she was so pretty. She had a great body, and those dark, exotic eyes. And this sheen, you know, this polish. Oh, hell.”
“You’re going to go talk to him.”
“I guess.”
“Want me to keep Lily while you do?”
“No.” Hayley let out a long sigh. “She needs her supper soon, and besides, if I take her with me we’re not as likely to yell at each other.”
“All right. You can call me if you want, let me know how it goes. Or you can just come back over. I’ll break out the Ben and Jerry’s.”
“Way I’m feeling, I’ll need a full quart.”
SHE HAD LILY’S hand in hers when she knocked on the door of the carriage house. He hadn’t been long out of the shower, she noted when he answered. His hair was still damp. But if the grim set of his face was any barometer, it hadn’t cooled him off.
“I’d like to talk to you.” She said it briskly. “If you have the time.”
He simply bent down to pick up Lily who’d already wrapped her arms around his leg. He turned, without a word for Hayley, and carried the baby back toward the kitchen. “Hey, pretty girl. Look what we got here.”
One-handed, he opened a cupboard, took out a couple of plastic bowls, then rooted through a drawer for a big plastic spoon. He set them, and Lily, on the floor where she immediately went to town banging.
“Want a drink?” he said to Hayley.
“No, no, I don’t. I want to ask you—”
“I’m having a beer. You want any milk or juice for Lily?”
“I didn’t bring her sippy cup.”
“I have one.”
“Oh.” The fact that he did threw her off, made her heart start to melt. “She could have a little juice. You have to dilute it.”
“I’ve seen the routine.” He fixed the juice, handed it to Lily, then got out a beer. “So?” He took a long gulp.
“I wanted to ask—No, I wanted to say that I know we haven’t made any sort of commitment to each other. But sleeping with someone is a form of commitment to me, enough of one that it’s insulting to see the person I’m sleeping with kissing and flirting with another woman. And I don’t find that unreasonable.”
He took another pull, slowly, thoughtfully. “You know if you’d put it that way to begin with, you wouldn’t have insulted me, or pissed me off. I’m going to repeat that I was flirting with Dory, but not the way you mean.”
“If you come on to all women the way—”
“Or coming on to her. And be careful or you’ll piss me off again. If you want to know what was going on, why don’t you ask?”
“I don’t like being in this position.”
“Well, neither do I. If that’s the way you want to leave it, I need to throw something together for dinner. I missed lunch.”
“Fine.” She started to bend down for Lily, then stopped. “Why are you so hard?”
“Why are you so mistrustful?”
“I saw you. She had her arms around you. She put her hands in your damn pockets and felt your ass. You weren’t exactly fighting her off, Harper.”
“Okay, you’ve got a point. It was something she used to do, and I didn’t think much about it when she did it today. I was thinking more how I was going to tell her I couldn’t pick things up with her, couldn’t see her beyond the friendship thing because I was with somebody else.”
“How long does it take to say that?”
“A little longer than it might otherwise if a woman’s got her hands on your ass.” She opened her mouth, but the way his eyebrows shot up had her closing it again, and waiting. “Right or wrong, Hayley. But I did tell her, before you came through the door.”
“Before? But . . . you didn’t even miss a beat, Harper. And the two of you were all . . .” She waved a hand, trying to find the phrase. “Touchy. And you kissed her when you went out to the car.”
His eyes narrowed. “You were watching us.”
“No. Yes. So what?”
“Too bad you didn’t manage to slip a listening device on me, then this conversation wouldn’t be necessary.”
She folded her arms and met his insult straight-on. “I’m not apologizing for my behavior either.”
“Fine. First, why should I have missed a beat? I wasn’t doing anything to feel guilty about. Next, Dory’s a touchy kind of person. She makes contact with people, which is probably why she’s good in PR. And yeah, I kissed her before she left. I’ll probably kiss her next time I see her. I like her. We have a history. We met in high school, ended up in college together—and ended up being an item for about a year. In college, Hayley, for Christ’s sake. When we stopped being an item, we stayed friends. If you can manage to whip some of the green out of your vision, you’d probably end up being friends with her, too.”
“I don’t like being jealous. I’ve never really been jealous before, and I don’t like it.”
“If you’d heard our conversation out by her car, you’d have heard her tell me that she hoped you and I would come into the city, have drinks, so she could get to know you. She said it was good to see me, and good to see me happy. I said pretty much the same, and I kissed her goodbye.”
“It’s just . . . you looked like a couple.”
“We’re not. That’s what you and I are. That’s what I feel,” he said when she only stared at him. “That’s what I want. I don’t know what I’ve done to make you doubt me, or that.”
“You’ve never actually said . . .”
He stepped to her, caught her face in his hands. “I don’t want to be with
anyone but you. You’re the only one, Hayley. Is that clear enough?”
“Yeah.” She laid her hand on his, turned her head so that her lips pressed to his palm.
“So we’re good now?”
“It looks like. Um, you told her you were seeing someone. I mean me?”
“I didn’t have to. When you walked back out, she punched me in the arm. She said, ‘She’s taller than me, she’s thinner than me, and she’s got better hair.’ What is it about your breed and hair?”
“Never mind that. What else did she say?”
“That it was bad enough I was blowing her off, but it had to be over somebody who looked like you. I figured it for some sort of twisted girl compliment.”
“A nice one. Now I feel guilty. I bet I would like her, and that’s just a little bit irritating.” She brooded a minute, then beamed. “But I’ll get over it. I’m not going to apologize, exactly, because—hey, hands on your ass. But I’ll offer to cook you dinner.”
“Sold,” he said without hesitation.
“Got anything in mind?”
“Nothing. Surprise me. Us,” he corrected and scooped Lily up to hang her upside down. “I’ll get shortie here out of your hair. We have some havoc to wreak in the other room.”
And just like that, she thought, her life was back on level. With the sounds of growling from Harper, and wild giggles from Lily rolling out of the living room, Hayley opened the refrigerator to examine the contents.
Pitiful, she decided. A total guy assortment of beer, soft drinks, bottled water, what appeared to be an ancient fried chicken leg, two eggs, a stick of butter and a small, moldy hunk of cheese.
She opened the freezer, and hit the payload. Several carefully labeled containers of leftovers. David to the rescue. But it was a shame she couldn’t actually cook something, impress Harper.
Who’s pitiful? He flaunts another woman in your face and you grovel. Now cooking for him, like a servant. Women are nothing but servants to men. Their conveniences.
He lies as all men lie, and you believe because you’re weak and foolish.
Make him pay. They should all pay.
“No.” She said it softly when she found herself standing in front of the open freezer door. “No. Those weren’t my thoughts. And I won’t have them in my head.”
“You say something?” Harper called out.
“No. No,” she said more calmly.
There was nothing to say. Nothing to think. She would put a meal together and they’d eat. Like a couple. Or even, just a little bit, like a family.
The three of them. Only the three of them.
fourteen
FEELING SO SETTLED was just a little spooky to Harper’s mind. They’d taken to having dinner together in the evenings. Sitting together in the kitchen, Lily strapped in the highchair he’d carted over from the main house, he and Hayley at the table with a meal, and conversation seemed so easy it made him nervous.
They were drifting into something solid, like a boat sailing toward shore in a light wind. He wasn’t sure whether when they hit it, they’d end up bruised and battered or safe and sound.
Did she seem edgy, too, under the casual? he wondered. Or was he projecting his own jitters?
It was all so normal, this eating together at the end of the day, talking about work or Lily’s latest accomplishment. Yet twined through the respite was an intensity, a feeling. A here we are, and here we’ll stay—at least for the night.
How much did he, did both of them, want to keep the “at least” in the mix?
“I was thinking,” he began, “that if things are slow inside tomorrow, I could show you how to hybridize.”
“I know a little. Roz walked me through a snapdragon.”
“I was thinking a lily. They’re a good specimen for it, and we could try one. I was thinking we could try for a mini, something in a kind of candy pink. And name it for Lily.”
Her face switched on to glow. “Really? Like create a new specimen, for her? Oh, Harper, that would be so awesome.”
“I thought pink—but a strong pink—and we could try for a hint of red blushing the petals. Red’s your color, so it’d be like Hayley’s Lily. I was thinking.”
“You’re going to make me cry.”
“Spend some time hand-pollinating and you might just cry. It’s not an instant-gratification deal.”
“I’d really like to try.”
“Then we’ll work on it. What do you think of that, shortie?” he asked Lily. “Want your own flower?”
She picked up a green bean with two delicate fingers and dropped it with some care on the floor.
“I bet she likes the flower more than her vegetables. That’s her signal she’s done.” Hayley rose. “I’ll clean her up.”
“I could do it. Give her a bath.”
With a laugh, Hayley removed the highchair tray. “Ever given a toddler a bath?”
“No, but I’ve had a few. Just fill up the tub, dump her in, hand her the soap. Then go back and dry her off after I’ve had another beer. Just kidding,” he said when Hayley’s eyes bugged out. He unstrapped Lily, hitched her up. “Your mama thinks I’m a bath moron. We’ll show her.”
“Oh, but—”
“Stay with her at all times. Don’t even turn your back. Warm water, not hot. Blah, blah, blah,” he continued as he walked away. Over his shoulder, Lily happily waved bye-bye.
She checked on them three times, but tried to be subtle about it.
By the time she’d finished dealing with the kitchen, Lily was running around, all pink and powdered and wearing nothing but her Huggies. Some men, she decided, were natural with children. Harper seemed to be one of them.
“What’s next on her agenda?”
“I usually let her play for another hour or so, tires her out. Then maybe we’ll read a book—or part of one—if she’ll sit still long enough. Harper, don’t you want to get rid of us?”
“No. I’m hoping you’ll stay. I can set that portable deal up in the spare room. We’ll hear her if she wakes up. Then you could be with me.” He took Hayley’s hands, leaned in to take her lips. “I want you to be with me tonight.”
“Harper . . .” She eased away, then hurried after Lily. “Wait,” she said, and stopped in the living room when Lily made a beeline for a pile of plastic trucks and cars. “Where’d they come from?”
“They were mine. Some things you keep.”
She imagined Harper as a little boy, playing with his trucks and making engine noises, much as her baby was doing now. “Harper, this is so hard.”
“What’s hard?”
“Not falling dead stupid in love with you.”
He said nothing for a moment, then turned her around to face him. “What if you did?”
“That’s what I don’t know. See, that’s what I don’t know.” Her voice hitched, and she swallowed to even it out. “There’s a lot tangled up in this. We only started being with each other a few weeks ago, and there’s all this stuff happening. I don’t know what you want, what you’re looking for.”
“I’m still figuring it out.”
“That’s fine for you, Harper. I mean it really is, it’s just fine. But what if I love you? I love you, and you figure out what you want is a trip to Belize and six months bumming on the beach? I’ve got Lily to consider. I can’t—”
“Hayley, if I wanted to be a beach bum, I think I’d know it by now.”
“You know what I’m talking about.”
“Okay, yeah. What if I fall for you, what if I love you and you decide you want to go back to Little Rock with Lily and open your own nursery?”
“I couldn’t—”
He held up a hand. “Sure you could. It’s the kind of risk people take when they get involved this way. Maybe you’ll fall, and maybe the other person won’t want what you’re looking for.”
“So we’re sensible? Take it a day at a time.”
“We could. We could do that.”
“What if I don’t want
to be sensible?” she fired back. “What if I want to stand here right now and tell you I’m in love with you? What are you going to do about it?”
“I’m not sure since it’s pissing you off.”
“Of course I’m pissed off.” She threw up her arms. “I’m in love with you, damn it, Harper, and you want to be sensible, take it a day at a time. And from where I’m standing your way just sucks sideways.”
He considered himself a fairly laid-back sort of man, albeit one with a dangerous temper, which he was careful to control most of the time. How, he wondered, had he fallen so completely for a women whose moods tended to bounce around like a pinball?
Proved, he supposed, that there was no logic in love.
“Instead of going off, you should listen. I said we could be sensible. We could take it a day at a time. But since I’m in love with you right back, I’m not so crazy about that idea either.”
“You go around doing romantic stuff, movie-time romantic stuff. And then the sweet things like giving my little girl a bath, and I’m supposed to stay sensible? I mean, what do you expect, Harper, what do you expect when you . . .”
She caught her breath, then took a long one while he just looked at her, that lazy half smile on his face. “What was that part after how I should listen?”
“I said I was in love with you right back.”
“Oh. Oh.” She crouched when Lily brought her one of the trucks. “That’s nice, honey. Why don’t you go get it?” She rolled the truck across the room, got back up. “You’re not saying that because I’m being bitchy?”
“Generally, my policy doesn’t include telling a woman I’m in love with her when she’s being bitchy. Fact is, I haven’t said it to anyone before, because it’s the kind of thing that has weight. Should have weight. So you’re the first.”
“It’s not because you’re so stuck on Lily?”
He cast his eyes to heaven. “For Christ’s sake.”
“I’m picking it apart.” She held her hands up, wagged them. “I hear myself. I’m just breathless. You make me so happy I’ve been miserable.”
“Yeah, I can see how that works. Completely not.”
“I’ve been so scared.” On a laugh, she threw her arms around him. “I was so scared that I’d fall for you, then we’d end up being friends like that woman who came into the nursery the other day. I’m not going to be friends with you, Harper, if this doesn’t work out.” She reared back, then pressed her mouth hard to his. “I’m going to hate you forever.”
“Good. I think.”
She sighed, long and deep, as she laid her cheek to his. “What do we do now?”
“Since it’s a first for me, I’d like to ride on it awhile. It’s some pretty heady stuff. More immediately, I’d say we’ll play with Lily. Tire her out good, so that after you put her to bed I can take you to mine.”
“I like that plan.”
BY THE TIME she’d settled Lily down, Harper had music on. She knew he was rarely without it. Though it was just dusk, he had candles flickering in his bedroom. And flowers—a touch she’d rarely seen in another man, but had come to