CHAPTER XX
AT BUD'S
Supper was over when Jeff arrived. He came straight into the roomwhere the colored girl had just finished clearing the table. Nan wasreturning a few odds and ends to their places. Bud had already lit hisevening pipe preparatory to settling down for the brief interim beforeturning in for the night.
There was no preamble. There was no sign of emotion, even at themoment of his arrival. Jeff launched his request at father anddaughter in a voice such as he might have used in the most commonplaceof affairs.
It was a request to be put up for the night.
But both Bud and Nan were startled. Nan's cheeks paled, andimagination gripped her. She said nothing. With Bud to be startledwas to instantly resort to verbal expression.
"Wot's wrong?" he demanded.
Then the storm broke. It broke almost immoderately before these twowho were the intimates of Jeff's life. All that had been withheldbefore Dug McFarlane, all which he had refused to display before thewife he had set up for his worship, Jeff had no scruples in layingbefore these two. It was the sure token of the relations between them,relations of perfect trust and sympathy.
Bud sat gazing at the outward sign of the passionate fires he hadalways known to lie smouldering in the depths of this man's soul. Nanstood paralyzed before such violence. Both knew that hell was ragingunder the storm of emotion. Both knew that the wounds inflicted uponthis man's strong heart were well-nigh mortal.
The whole story was told, broken, disjointed. For the first time Nanlearned the result of the search for an erring twin brother, and herhorror was unbounded. A heart full of tenderness bled for the manwhose sufferings she was witnessing. The story of Elvine's own actionsfilled her with revolting, yet with pity. It was not in her to condemneasily. She felt that such acts were beyond her powers of judgment.
The man's grief, his bitter, passionate resentment smote her beyond anysufferings she had ever known herself. Elvine absorbed all the angershe could bestow, but even so it was infinitesimal beside the harvestof grief which the sight of this man's suffering yielded her. That wasthe paramount emotion of the moment with her. That, and the injusticeshe deemed to have been meted out to him.
It was not until the great crescendo of the man's storm of grief hadpassed that Nan bethought herself of the need in which he stood. Norwas that need apparent until his whole note had changed to a moodybitterness with which he regarded the future. Then she understood thedemon that was knocking at the door of his soul.
Immediately her decision was taken. She left the two men together andwent to make the necessary preparations for this refugee'saccommodation. Curiously enough, these preparations were not completefor nearly an hour, at the time, in fact, that it was her father'shabit to seek his bed.
When she returned to the parlor the place was full of the reek of Bud'stobacco, but it was only from the one pipe. Neither of the men weretalking when she entered the room, and her glance passed swiftly fromone to the other.
She moved over to where Jeff was sitting with his back turned to her,and stood behind his chair.
"Everything's fixed for you, Jeff," she said. "But--but maybe youdon't feel like turning in yet. My Daddy usually goes at this time,and--he's had a hard day."
Bud looked across at her. His pipe was removed from his mouth for thepurpose of protest. But the protest remained unspoken in face of themeaning he beheld in the girl's brown eyes. Instead he rose heavilyfrom his rocker.
"Say, jest take your time, Jeff, boy," he said. "Guess you'll need tothink hard before mornin'. I don't guess it's your way to jump atthings. I ain't never see you jump yet. Anyway, when you're thinkin',boy, it'll be best to remember that a woman's jest a woman, an' hernotions ain't allus our notions."
Nan came over to him, and he rested one great arm about her shoulders,and stooped and kissed her.
"Good-night, little gal," he said. "Maybe Jeff'll excuse me. An'maybe you ken tell him some o' them things that don't come easy to me.So long, Jeff. I'll sure see you in the mornin' before you quit."
He stood uncertainly for a moment with his arm upon Nan's shoulders.He seemed to want to say more, and was at a loss how to say it.Finally he stuck his pipe back into his mouth with a savage thrust andlumbered heavily from the room.
Nan understood. She knew he was laboring under profound emotion, and afeeling of self-disgust at his own inability to help his partner andfriend.
As the door closed she moved over to the table and leaned against it.Jeff's back was toward her, and his face was turned in the direction ofthe window, across which the curtains had not yet been drawn.
He was leaning forward, his gaze intent and straight ahead out into theblack night beyond. His elbows were on his knees, and his hands wereclasped, and hanging between them. To the sympathetic heart of Nanthere was despair in every line of his attitude. She nerved herself tocarry out her decisions.
"Jeff!"
There was no movement in response. But a reply came. It was in thetone of a man indifferent to everything but the thought teeming throughhis brain.
"Well?"
"Why did you come around here--to-night?"
The question achieved its purpose. The man abandoned his attitude in amovement of fierce resentment. He swung round on the questioner, hiseyes hot with feeling.
"Because I guess I need to sleep somewhere. Because nothing on earthcould make me share roof with the woman who's my wife. Gee, my wife!Say, Nan, the thought of it nearly sets me crazy."
"Does it? You didn't feel that way--two nights ago."
The man's eyes met the girl's incredulously.
"How can you talk that way?" he demanded roughly. "I didn't know athing then. I thought she was all she seemed. Maybe I was just ablind fool, crazy with love. Anyway--I hadn't learned the hell lyingaround her heart."
"I s'pose there is hell lying around her heart?"
Nan's words were provocative. Yet they were spoke in such a tone ofsimplicity as to rob them of all apparent intent.
Jeff was in no mood for patience. Swift resentment followed upon hisincredulous stare.
"Do you need me to give it you all again?" he cried fiercely. "Itdon't need savvee to grip things." Then his voice rose. "And to thinkthose dollars have fed her, and clothed her, a body as fair as anangel's, and a heart as foul as hell." Then his tone dropped as if hewere afraid of the sound of his own voice. "Say, thank God I kept myhands off her. If she'd been a man----"
He left his sentence unfinished. In her mind Nan completed it. Butaloud she gave it another ending.
"If she'd been a man I don't guess she'd have been there to have youlay hands on her."
There was a new note in the girl's tones. But it passed Jeff by.
"No," he said with almost foolish seriousness.
"Say, Jeff," the girl went on gently, a moment later, "aren't youacting a teeny bit crazy over this? I mean talking of souls foul ashell. And--an' not sharing the same roof with the woman you've swornto love, and--and cherish as long as you both live. She hasn't done athing wrong by you since you said--an' meant that. She hasn't done athing wrong anyway."
The denial was so gentle yet so decided. Had there been heat in it itmust have been ineffective. As it was Jeff stared incredulously andspeechless, and the girl went on:
"You think I'm wrong," she said. "Maybe you think I'm crazy, same as Iguess this thing's made you feel." She shook her head. "I'mnot--sure. Take us here. Maybe I'm chasing around through the hills.Chance runs me plumb into the camp of these rustlers who're cuttinginto your profits on the Obar. I come right in and hand you the story.You and Bud round up a bunch of boys and I take you to where the camp'shidden. You hold 'em up, and you hang them. Well, I guess thepleasantest moment of that racket for you would be to get back to homeand hand me a bunch of dollars. Say, I can see you doing it. I cansee your smile. I can hear you sayin': 'Take 'em, little Nan, an' buyyourself some swell fixing.' An
d say, Jeff, I wouldn't have done athing less than your Evie's done. That's how I'd say now, acting asyou are, you aren't the 'Honest Jeff' I've always known. You're notfair to Evie, you aren't just--before God."
The man made a gesture of fierce impatience. He seemed on the verge ofa furious outburst. But the steady light of Nan's eyes was upon him.For some moments he gazed into their sweet depths, and their courage,their steadfastness, seemed to abash him. He flung out his arms in ahelpless gesture of appeal.
"Nan, Nan!" he cried, in a voice of hopelessness. "I can't argue it.I just can't. I can't see things right. I sure nearly am crazed. Theonly thing I can see is the blood of poor Ronny on her--her hands. Thehands I've held in mine. The hands I've kissed. Oh, was there ever sofoul----"
"Yes, Jeff, there was. There is."
Nan's voice was low but thrilling with deep feeling. She moved forwardfrom her place at the table with a little rush. The rustle of herskirts only ceased as she fell upon her knees at the man's side, andher warm brown hands clasped themselves upon the strong arm proppedupon his knee.
"It's a far, far fouler thing, this thing you've got fixed in your mindto do. Oh, Jeff, dear, if I could speak the things as I feel them.But I can't. It's all inside me mussed up and maybe foolish. But, oh,I know I'm right I want to tell you something, and I don't just knowhow."
Her eyes were gazing up into his, the soft brown eyes of the beautifulsoul within. She strove to compel his gaze, but it moodily withheldits regard.
"Jeff, you'll kill poor Evie. You'll break her heart by robbing her ofall you've brought into her life through your love. Say, can't you seeit all? And you'll do it for a shadow. Yes, it's a shadow, an uglyshadow, this crazy thought of yours for a brother who was just alow-down cattle rustler, same as these toughs you're making a bid often thousand dollars to see hanged the same as he was. Think of it,Jeff. She's just a woman, weak and helpless, and you're going to robher of all that makes her life worth while. Would you act that way bya mother, or--or a sister? And she's your wife, Jeff, who's given youall a loving woman has to give. I could tell you of the things thismeans to you, and the schemes and plans you've sort of set your hearton, but I don't need to. I just want you to see what you're doing byher, and all the time she's done you no wrong. Do you get that, dear?Evie's never done you a wrong, and in return you're going to do all youknow to kill her heart dead."
"Done me no wrong?" There was a desperate sort of sneer in the words.They were the words of a man who is robbed of denial but still protests.
But Nan rejected even that. She swiftly flung it back in her sense ofthe injustice of it.
"It's as I said, Jeff. Just as I said," she declared solemnly. Shedrew a deep breath. She was about to take a plunge which might bearher she knew not whither. "Oh, I could get mad with you for that. Icould so, Jeff. I know the story of it. You've told it yourself, andI don't guess you've spared her any. But you're blinding yourselfbecause you're crazy to do so. You're blinding yourself to all senseof justice to defend a wretched scallawag who happened to be yourbrother. Say, you're trying to fix on your wife, the woman who lovesyou, and who you guess you love, all the dirt you should heap on theworthless man who lived by theft, and maybe, even, was a murderer.Say, don't speak. Not just a single word. Guess you can say all youneed when I'm through," she cried, as the man, with eyes ablaze, soughtto break in. "When I'm through I'll listen. Say, bring this righthome here. We're being robbed by cattle thieves. I don't guessthey're better or worse than your brother. What if he'd been one ofthis gang? If you'd got this gang, with him in it? Would you've lethim go and hanged the others? Tell me. Tell me right here and now."
The man sprang from his seat. He moved away to the window.
"You're talking foolish," he flung over his shoulder. "It's not theposition. My brother's deserts aren't in question. It's Evie's act.My wife's act. You're a woman and defend her. How could you beexpected to see a man's point of view?"
"There can be no man's point of view in it," Nan cried warmly. "Iguess there's just one point. The point of right and justice. Injustice she's not done a thing to make you act this way. For yoursake, for hers, for the sake of justice you'll have to go back to her."
The man swung round.
"You'd have me go back to her?" he cried in fierce derision. "Say,you're crazy! Go back to her feeling as I do?"
"Feeling as you've no right to feel," Nan retorted swiftly. Then in aflash her voice changed, dropping to a note of deep tenderness andsympathy. "Say, Jeff, won't you go back? Won't you?" she pleaded."Think of all it means to her, to you. Think of a poor woman driven tothe depths of despair for a shadow you've nursed in your brain theseyears. That's what it comes to. I know. Oh, Jeff, as sure as ther'sjust a great big God above us you'll pay for it if you don't. Yousurely will."
The man shifted his gaze. The lids of his eyes drooped and hid fromthe waiting girl all that passionate feeling he had not hesitated todisplay. She wondered as she waited. She was fearful, too.
In the man every sort of emotion was surging through him in a chaotictangle. Nothing seemed clear; anger, revolting, even hatred, allfought for place. And through it all the pleading tones of the girlwould not be denied.
After a moment he suddenly flung out his arms.
"I--I just can't, Nan!" he cried desperately.
A wave of relief swept through Nan's heart. He was yielding, and sheknew it. His manner had completely and abruptly changed. She drewnearer to him. Every honest art of persuasion was in her tendermanner. All self was forgotten in that moment of spiritual purpose.
"But you can--if you will," she said, her brown eyes uplifted to his."There isn't a thing you can't do--and you will. And this is so small,Jeff. So small. Just think of that great big God somewhere up abovewaiting, waiting to help you. He's always waiting to help us--any ofus. Ask Him. Ask His help. He'll give it you. He surely will. AndHe can clear away all this dreadful feeling. It'll pass right awayeasy. I know. He's done things for me. You just can't guess howmuch. Say, Jeff, and when He's fixed you right, feeling that way,He'll show you, and tell you more. He'll show you that Evie's act wasnot hers, but--His. It was just His way of bringing Ronny's punishmentback to you. You see, Jeff, Ronny was part of you. You said so. Andoh, He's wiser than you an' me. And He figures this thing is best so.It's a little Cross, such a teeny one, He's set you to bear, and ifyou're the man I know and believe in, why, you'll just carry it withouta squeal. Then later you'll understand, and--you'll be real glad forit. Will you--will you go back to her--to-morrow, Jeff?"
Nan waited almost breathlessly. She was watching him with a gaze thatsearched every detail of his face. She saw the strong veins at histemples standing out, the usually clear eyes stained and bloodshot.She saw him raise one hand wearily to his forehead, and pass it backover his hair. She knew the movement so well. The sight of itthrilled her. There was little about him she did not know andunderstand.
"You've made it seem I'll have to, Nan," he said with desperatereluctance.
For a moment a strange feeling of weakness came over the girl. But sheresolutely thrust it aside.
"It's not me, Jeff," she disclaimed. "You know it's not me. Andyou'll--promise?"
He nodded.
"I'll go back to her, because--of you."
A curious look of fear crept into the girl's eyes.
"You'll go back, because--of her," she persisted.
The man shook his head.
"Anyway--I'll go back."
The words were roughly spoken. But Nan accepted them. It was all shecould hope for. And--well, she had done her best.
She sighed deeply. She glanced about her. For a moment they dweltupon the man who was denied her. The man in whom she saw all thatcould ever make life worth while.
"Good-night, Jeff."
Her voice was very low and soft.
"Good-night, Nan." Then with a sudden outburst, as forceful a
s it wasspontaneous: "God, if the world were only made up of women like you!"
But the door had closed. And as Nan crept to her bedroom, unrestrainedtears coursed down her soft cheeks. The full force of the irony of itall was too great for her. He was going back to Elvine, and--she hadsent him.