Life changes so quickly, sometimes. Like a sputter of a flame or the blink of an eye.
Fred was dead. Why did he have to die? For the rest of her life, Emma would believe that her life would have turned out differently, if he hadn’t been killed in that car accident. Yes, she knew he drank once in a while. That’s one of the things that made him so mature.
But the realization that his drinking had killed him was hard to take. Oh, how she wished she could have died with him. How was she going to face life now, with the new baby, and no Fred?
How could Emma know the chain of events that were set in motion the day she told Fred that she was pregnant? She wasn’t aware how her words would alter the course of his life, and hers.
Fred wasn’t prepared to take on the responsibilities of being a father. His future prospects were unknown and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to marry Emma and she wouldn’t get an abortion. He didn’t want a child now. Once his parents found out, they asked him to do the right thing. But, he couldn’t.
On the night he died, drinking too much trying to avoid the decisions he had to make, he drove away from the Foxfield Tavern in grief, anger, and frustration, erasing his future by losing control of his car, driving off the road, and into a tree.
Emma grieved. She rode the emotional roller coaster of missing Fred, and the life they could have had. And then dreaming about her baby and the happiness it might bring. She fantasized about being a mother, like her own. She envisioned how important and mature she was going to be, but nothing turns out the way it should. Dreams rarely become real.
Emma’s parents didn’t take the news of her pregnancy at all well. They were angry and hurt. They had told her to stay away from Fred. Now see what her sneakiness and stubbornness had caused. She was too young, not even fifteen years old yet. What were they going to do? They had too much to deal with, as it was, with running the farm and raising two sons. When the yelling and fighting got nowhere, they stopped talking about it all together. To Emma, it appeared that they had turned hard hearted and cold. But, in reality they had shut down emotionally, just for a while, trying to ignore the situation.
Ultimately, as Emma’s pregnancy became apparent, the environment at home became unbearable, and her personality changed. Her heart hardened even more, and she vowed to make it on her own. She knew she wanted her baby, and if her mother and father weren’t going to be there for her, she would do it all on her own. According to her, she was abandoned in her time of need, and no one loved her anymore.
She spent hours trying to figure a way out of this stifling town, and away from her unfeeling family. She would show them. She didn’t need them. She knew she could make it on her own, no matter what.
Then Sadie came to mind, her cousin in Mica, Washington. She hadn’t seen her since she was a little girl, but she knew that Sadie was renting a small two-bedroom house with a girl-friend. Both girls worked, and Emma wondered if they would let her live there, if she worked for her room and board. Maybe even stay there after the baby was born.
Emma called Sadie. Sadie didn’t like the idea at all, but Emma was able to persuade her, eventually, that she wouldn’t be a burden. She would work very hard for them and they wouldn’t be sorry. Emma agreed to find another place right away, if it didn’t work out for them. Her cousin reluctantly agreed, but Sadie made it clear… once the baby was born, Emma would have to find another place to live.
Emma packed her bags that very night. The next day, she walked into town, closed out her little savings account, bought a ticket for Mica, Washington, and without a word to anyone, boarded the bus and left town.
To her, she was going toward a new future for herself and her baby. But, in reality, she was running away from her home, her family and those who would have protected her.
In Emma’s mind, she would always know what needed to be done and she would always do it, no matter what, no matter who it hurt. Emma knew what had to be done and she did it.
Of course, Emma’s parents were frantic when she disappeared. The police were called and the whole town turned out to search for her. Days went by, hope faded in finding her. Then, in talking with a family member, Emma’s mother found out where her daughter was.
Again, Emma’s parents went through the emotional gamut of joy, anger, pain, and frustration. Emma’s mother wept with the shame and crushing hurt. How could her daughter walk out of their lives without a word? The trouble it caused. The effort everyone went to for Emma’s benefit and it was all so unnecessary. Harold, Emma’s dad, just got angry and kept his hurt to himself. He declared that no one was to speak of Emma again.
Secretly, though, Emma’s mother tried to reach her daughter and talk to her. Emma answered the phone with a stone heart. She told her mother that she would have nothing to do with her family. She made it apparent that she didn’t need them. She knew what needed to be done, and that she would see it through. She had shut the door to her heart when she left, now she locked it. And it would never open again.
Emma was now alone… all alone in the life she had chosen for herself.
Life With Emma