I dropped my head, fighting images of Bryn wrapped in writhing black bands of shadow. Adne swayed on her feet. Connor slipped his arm around her waist, steadying her.
“Did they ask you anything?” Monroe asked. “What did they want from you?”
“They wanted to know where Calla was,” Ansel said. “And they kept asking about the Scion. I didn’t know what they meant.”
“They meant Shay,” I said. “Shay is the Scion.”
Ansel’s smile was grim. “I know that now. I know they want him dead. Some things fell into place as they kept asking us questions.”
“What about Renier?” Monroe asked. His hands rested on the table, balled in tight fists.
“They brought us out of the cells into a large room. Everything was new, bright like a hospital. Except this room. It was dark, and old. I felt like we went from a prison into a castle’s dungeon. And everyone was there.”
“Everyone?” I asked.
“All the Guardians. Over a hundred of us and all the Keepers with their wraiths. They were all looking at a pile of raised stones. Like a stage, or an altar.”
An altar.
No, no. Not Ren. Please, not Ren.
“Was Renier on the altar?” Monroe’s voice shook. I looked at him, surprised that his fear was the same as mine.
“No. He was beside the altar with Emile and my father,” Ansel said, and then turned his gaze on me. “My mother was on the altar.”
I was on my feet, though my quaking muscles barely held me up. “What?!”
The flat smile returned to Ansel’s face. “Surprised?”
“How can you ask me that?” I shrieked. “Mom had nothing to do with this.”
“But she’s the alpha female,” Ansel said. The calm of his voice terrified me almost as much as his words. “She was supposed to teach you your place.”
My place. Everything I’d hated about my destiny. The other reason I’d run. It was almost as bad as the threat of losing Shay.
“And she failed,” Ansel whispered. “That’s what Lumine said. She failed to perform her duty.”
I sank down onto the bench, not flinching when Shay drew me into his arms. “What did they do to her?”
“They let Emile kill her while Dad stood there.”
My limbs turned to jelly. I would have fallen off the bench without Shay holding me up.
Monroe glanced at Adne, who went very pale. “They murdered your mother?” she whispered.
Connor pulled her closer, murmuring into her ear. Tears dripped onto her cheeks, but she didn’t make any sound.
“They said it was both of their punishments as alphas. She died because you ran away. Dad lost his mate.”
I choked out a sob, my eyes were burning, and my tears blurred Ansel’s face.
My mother. They killed my mother because of me. What kind of monster am I?
“But they let the Nightshade alpha live?” Silas asked. He was taking notes and I wanted to gnaw his fingers off. Slowly.
“There isn’t a Nightshade alpha anymore,” Ansel said.
“What do you mean?” Shay pulled me tight against him. I felt numb, unable to move.
“The rest of the punishment,” Ansel said. “The Keepers disbanded the Nightshade pack. Emile is the only alpha now. He’s been given both packs. Efron and Lumine told us that would be the new order. The Banes had proved more loyal and they would reign over the Nightshades until the Nightshades demonstrated their loyalty.”
“But how could they do that?” Ethan asked.
“They’re supposed to bring him back.” Ansel pointed at Shay. “That’s the new directive. The Guardians have been ordered to find him and return him to the Keepers. Whoever succeeds will gain their favor. If it’s a Nightshade, that wolf will become the new alpha and lead a pack of their own.”
“But that’s impossible,” I said. “Alphas can’t be promoted, they’re born. As long as our father is alive, he’s the Nightshade alpha whether the Keepers acknowledge him or not.”
“Tell that to the Keepers.” Ansel glared at me.
“That could work in our favor,” Ethan murmured. He caught Connor’s eye and Connor nodded.
“How?” I asked. “How could that help us? We’re going to be hunted down.”
“It could—” Connor began, but Monroe interrupted.
“Wait,” he said. “Ansel, what of Renier Laroche?”
Ansel sighed, low and long. “They called him a traitor, like Calla. They made him kneel before the altar.”
Somehow I found my voice, a hoarse whisper. “Did they kill him?”
Ansel shook his head and something inside me that I thought was dying came to life again.
“What happened?” Monroe asked, his clenched fists relaxing slightly.
“They said that his betrayal was Calla’s fault. That women can’t be trusted. That females were born to seduce and deceive. That Calla tricked Ren. That he was only trying to save the mate he believed loved him.”
The mate he believed loved him. I’d fallen in love with someone else, but Ren was still a part of me. We shared something I couldn’t name. Was that love too? Guilt pierced me like a thousand needles in my skin. I forced myself to straighten, wiggling away from Shay’s arms.
Silas nodded. “Mmmm, yes. The burden of Eve. That’s a nice touch.”
“Silas, I swear I will break your jaw if you say anything else,” Connor said, tightening his grip on Adne’s shoulders.
“There’s nothing wrong with understanding the choices of your opponent,” Silas said loftily. “If we don’t examine them, we won’t anticipate their next move.”
“Let it go, Connor,” Monroe said. “Silas, now is not the time.”
Silas grumbled under his breath while Connor continued to glare at him.
“They set a wraith on him.” Ansel shuddered. “Longer than I’ve ever seen. When it was over, I couldn’t believe he was still conscious. They said he could choose his fate. That he still controlled his destiny.”
“What was his answer?” Monroe asked.
“After the wraith he couldn’t speak. I was surprised he’d even survived it. It had him for so much longer. . . .” He curled in on himself, making a soft retching sound.
Cold crept over me, like frost forming in my bones. My limbs were shuddering, out of my control.
My mother is dead. Ren tortured. And it’s all my fault.
“They took him away.” Ansel wiped spittle away from his mouth. He tried to take a sip of tea, but the cup shook too violently in his grasp. “I don’t know where. But if he doesn’t give the answer they want to hear, I’m sure they’ll kill him.”
Monroe made a quiet sound of grief. His eyes moved to the flames in the hearth, his mind going to a place far from this room.
“And then they brought me to the altar,” Ansel said.
I extended my hands across the table, hoping he’d take them. He glanced at my upturned palms and then looked away. I pulled my empty hands back, feeling hollow inside.
“Lumine said the children of Naomi Tor couldn’t be trusted,” Ansel said. “She put her hands on my chest. I thought I was being torn in two. I heard myself howling, saw my wolf form floating in front of me, and then it was on fire. Burning, burning. The fur smoking. I could smell it, feel it, being burned alive. And then the wolf was ash. Lumine waved her hands and the ash blew away. And I knew. I could feel that the wolf was gone. I was nothing.”
“Being alive isn’t nothing.” Monroe had come up behind him. He put his hand on Ansel’s shoulder. Ansel shuddered but didn’t pull away. “We’re only human and we think life is worth living.”
“I’m not human,” Ansel said. “I’m a Guardian. I was a Guardian. I don’t know what I am now.”
“I could turn you back,” I said suddenly. “You can be a Guardian again.”
“No. I’ve been unmade.” Ansel’s face twisted with rage. “That’s what Lumine said. She told them all. I can only be re-created through the Old Magic
s. An alpha cannot turn me. I’m cursed.”
“We’ll help you,” Monroe said. “We can teach you other ways to fight. You don’t have to be a wolf to be strong.”
“This war would have ended a long time ago if only the wolves were strong,” Ethan muttered.
“I don’t want to fight any other way! I want to be a wolf again.” Ansel turned to Monroe, a fever burning in his eyes. “Can you do that? I know you have magic.”
Monroe was silent.
“You said you wanted to help me.” Ansel was frantic. “That’s what I need. Calla, make them help me.”
“We don’t make Guardians,” Monroe said finally. “We don’t alter nature.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “Ansel’s nature is the wolf. What’s unnatural is what they did to him.”
“That may be the case,” Monroe said. “But frankly, we don’t have the means to undo it. We won’t destroy another creature to make him whole again.”
“What you do mean, destroy another creature?” Shay asked.
“We’d have to take the essence of another wolf—killing the animal in the process—to give your brother what he wants.”
My skin crawled. “I don’t understand.”
Silas looked up from his notes. “Guardians were created by years of experimentation with the laws of the natural world. The Keepers have always been fond of bending nature to their will. Guardians were one of the first demonstrations of the power they’d gained by allying with the Nether realm. They took animals and people, trying for years to blend the two and create the ultimate warriors. There were many, many failures. Mangled bodies, mutilated creatures not fit for this world or any other. And then there were Guardians. But the creation, the creatures, they are abominations against nature itself. The very reason Searchers fight against the Keepers.”
I stared at him. “Did you just call me an abomination?”
Silas looked me up and down. “Yes. Yes, I did.”
“That’s enough, Silas,” Monroe said.
My skin felt like insects crawled over me, stinging, biting, leaving my flesh raw. “Is that really how Guardians were first made?”
I thought of the story I’d been told as a child. The first Keeper—a noble warrior, injured, dying, saved only by the help of a lone wolf. The reward of being elevated. The bond of service and love that couldn’t be broken.
“It is. Did they have a pretty tale to offer you about your origin?” Silas quipped, obviously wanting to say more, but he was silenced by a glare from Monroe.
“More lies,” Shay whispered. He stared at his own hands. I wondered if he regretted being turned now that he’d heard this truth—that my kind had been born not as a reward for loyalty, but as a violent twisting of the natural order. One of the first acts of so many horrors for which the Keepers were known.
“Calla, you have to do something,” Ansel whispered. “Even if you can’t help me. Before they sent me away, Lumine said they would unmake the rest of our pack, one by one, as an example. You can’t let that happen. They’re your pack.”
I couldn’t speak. My tongue felt as thick as wet cotton in my mouth and it was choking me. What could I do? All the choices I’d made had destroyed my world. My mother was dead, my brother a bruised husk of the boy he’d once been. And for what? Shay and I were safe, but had we done any good? Were the Keepers any less of a threat? My head ached. I put my hands to my temples, trying to sort through the chaos of doubt.
“We won’t let it happen.”
I raised my face at Monroe’s words. His face was grim. His jaw set.
“We’re going to save your pack.”
FIFTEEN
I DIDN̓̕̕̕’T THINK I COULD get any colder, but as Monroe’s words settled around us, I could have sworn the temperature in the room dropped.
It was Shay who cleared his throat, speaking slowly. “What do you mean, we’re going to save her pack?”
Monroe didn’t answer.
Shay wouldn’t look at me. “I hate to say it, but Ren obviously knew the risk he was taking when he made those choices, which means he understands the bigger picture. He was willing to make that sacrifice.”
“Sacrifice?” I hated how often that word was cropping up in my life. My mother had been sacrificed. My brother seemed to think he’d be better off if he’d been killed as well. I couldn’t bear the thought that Ren would soon number among the casualties that I’d created by saving Shay.
“No.” I glared at them. “Ren is not a sacrifice. We are going to Vail to get him.”
Ansel was nodding even as he continued rocking back and forth where he sat. Shay refused to meet my eyes.
“Going to Vail to do what?” Shay asked. “Get killed? Look how well your last trip went!”
“Shay,” Monroe said. “We can’t leave the young wolves to the Keepers. It would be cruel. We could still bring a few of them back—salvage this alliance. It just won’t happen as quickly as we’d hoped.”
“I’m not trying to be cruel,” Shay said. “You’re the ones who keep telling us this is a war. Wars make casualties.”
Monroe kept his eyes on Ansel. “They are children. It’s different.”
“Children?” Shay’s laugh was harsh. “We’re talking about the other alpha. I know Calla’s young, but I wouldn’t call her a child. Renier Laroche is no different. He knew what he was doing. It’s over.”
“How can you say that?” I glared at Shay. “The only reason he might die is because he was trying to save us!”
“I’m being honest,” he replied coolly. “If we go to Vail, it will be a bloodbath. You can’t take that risk. I won’t let you.”
“Won’t let me! Who the hell do you think you are?” Blood roared in my veins; my teeth were so sharp they pierced the surface of my tongue as I shouted.
I whirled to face Monroe. “We cannot leave him!”
Monroe grasped my hand. “We will not leave him, Calla. You have my word.”
“How can you say that?” Shay was shouting now. “What could possibly justify a suicide mission like this one?!”
“He loves Calla,” Monroe said quietly. “He already risked his life to save her. He won’t betray her. He’ll die for her.”
Guilt ripped through my belly like a knife. Shay swore under his breath.
“You can’t know that,” he said, fists clenched at his sides. “He’s a Guardian. I’ve seen what they can do. I’ve read their history. They’ve followed the Keepers without question for centuries. Ren is one of them.”
Monroe turned on Shay, his jaw tightening. “He is not just a Guardian. He’s Corrine’s son. She changed her mind. So will he.”
“Corrine is dead,” Shay hissed. “Forget your love story, old man.”
A solid crack sounded when Monroe’s fist met Shay’s jaw and sent him hurtling across the floor. Adne gasped and crouched next to Shay where he’d fallen. Ethan came to Monroe’s side, lips thin and eyes mysterious.
“Come on, Dad,” Adne murmured. She must have been upset because I’d never heard her call Monroe anything other than his name. “Please be reasonable. Shay’s just afraid for Calla. He loves her too.”
Make that really upset. That was the first time she’d ever acknowledged Shay’s feelings for me. It might have been reassuring, but I was too angry with Shay for her words to affect me. Even if it was because he loved me, he had no right to stop me from helping my pack.
“We’re clearly past reason,” Shay grumbled, and rubbed his jaw as Adne helped him to his feet.
“I’m sorry.” Monroe shook his head slowly, staring at his stillclenched fist.
Connor glanced at my stunned expression once and scrambled to stand between me and Monroe, and Adne and Shay.
“Look,” he said. “The last thing we need is to fall apart. We’re all on the same side.”
“You could have fooled me,” Shay muttered.
“Cool it, Chosen One.” Connor smiled wryly. “If you’re serious about changing th
ings, about making the world better, we have to help the Guardians. Their lives are hell; we have to get them out of there. And Monroe’s right. Even getting a few out could be the first steps toward an alliance. We have to start somewhere.”
Monroe nodded.
“Ethan,” Shay said. “Help me out here.”
“I know you’re the Scion and all, kid,” Ethan murmured. “But I think Monroe and the wolf girl are right. We should go in, and soon.”
“You’re the last person I expected to sign on to People for the Ethical Treatment of Guardians.” Connor laughed.
Ethan smiled at Connor before glancing at Ansel, who was still hunched over, pitiful, clenching and unclenching his fists. “I think I may have misjudged them.”
“And how do you propose we help them without losing everything?” Shay asked, rubbing his bruised jaw.
My heart skipped a beat when all the Searchers looked at me. But it was Adne who spoke.
“Me.”
“What?” Monroe broke out of his mournful reverie to glance at her, his eyes sharp and alarmed.
“Stealth extraction just before dawn. That still gives us a few hours to prepare. Take a small team. I’ll open an inside door.”
“No.” Monroe’s face paled.
“Every Weaver has to successfully create an inside door in order to take up a post,” she said. “I passed all the exams. You have my papers. I can do it.”
“What’s this?” Shay frowned.
Ethan smiled at Adne. “Clever girl.”
“No,” Monroe said again, taking a step toward his daughter. “Inside doors are for emergencies only. They aren’t meant to be used by a strike team.”
“What’s an inside door?” I asked.
Adne faced me, eyes bright. “That’s what we call a portal that is opened in a place that the Weaver hasn’t seen. You have to create the door based on your own mental image of the site you’ve targeted with only sketchy information to go on.”
She turned back to Monroe. “In this case it offers the perfect element of surprise, which we need.”
“It’s against protocol,” Monroe said. “I won’t allow it.”