As I’d been recovering, selling my house, and visiting a therapist, Salinger hadn’t made one single move on me. I knew he’d been talking about me as I’d laid there that night. I knew he was in love with me. He was biding his time and I tried to respect that, as I’m certain, he tried to do with me.
I’d given Salinger the reins and he was aware of it. He was careful around me, respectful. He took care of me before he took care of himself. I’d never been around a guy like that before. Most of the time I’d had to peel them off to set them aside, it was annoying.
I didn’t dare touch him; though I’d wanted to, really wanted to. When he smiled, it sent me over myself. That’s what the tension did for me. I’d given him the reins and I was letting him determine the course and I’d discovered that boundaries could be unbelievably sexy. There is nothing like the feeling of earning something you actually want, and I wanted Salinger Park.
I pulled into the lodge and parked between four others, lifting out my bag, and scaling the winding shallow stone walk to the front door. I walked in and saw seven of the guys we were meeting up there sitting in the large, expansive living area, including Peter Aurek and Tao Zhang.
“Lily!” they all shouted.
I threw my bag in the foyer and started walking toward one of the couches. I squealed when someone sideswiped me, surprising me, and lifted me off my feet.
The guys started taunting Salinger, ordering him to put me down, but he ignored them. Instead, he swept me through a pair of open doors between the kitchen and the living area in the back of the house.
I started giggling.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked as we bounced down the expansive deck stairs.
“Shh, Little,” he whispered, tossing me on his back. He ran for a few minutes, his chest pumping harder and harder.
“You’ve got some endurance, punk,” I whispered in his ear.
He looked back at me, his eyes bright. “Adrenaline,” he explained, making my heart race.
He slowed down when we reached a small deck next to a sweet-smelling lake with the moon’s reflection big and bright, veered slightly left, and stopped when we reached rocky shore, setting me down near his feet.
His chest panted air. He was quiet, but he watched me. I smiled at him. He slowly smiled back, tilting his head back slightly, exposing his neck. As the quiet surrounded us, his breaths began to slow.
“Lily,” he finally said. “I have to ask you something.”
“What is it?”
“Are you happy?”
I thought about it a moment and decided I was, indeed, very happy.
“Yes,” I told him.
“Why?” he asked, confusing me.
“What does—”
“Just answer.”
“Because I like my life.”
“But why?”
“Because Wheezy and Cal are safe and healthy and loved. Because Ansen and Katie are happy.” I stared up at him. “Because you’re happy.”
He shook his head.
“I’m not entirely happy.”
I furrowed my brows at him. “You’re not?”
“No, Lily, I’m not. Not entirely.”
“Why not?” I whispered.
“What would you say,” he began, staring hard into my eyes, “if I told you that my happiness depends on one thing.”
He inched his way across the gravel shore and landed mere inches from my face. I looked up at him.
“What’s that then? I’ll get it for you,” I told him.
He smiled at me. “It can’t be gotten, Little. It can only be given.”
He looked down at my left hand and ran his fingers up the back of my arm, sending shivers down my spine. He followed the skin there until it met shoulder, and stopped at the back of my neck.
He smiled. “I love you, Lily.” I closed my eyes when his lips found the side of my neck. “Lots,” he whispered. “It’s immeasurable, actually,” he breathed against the skin there.
I let out a shaky breath. “I have something to tell you in return,” I secreted.
I felt him smile against my neck. “What’s that then?”
“I love you too.”
His hands wrapped around my waist and he lifted me off the ground, closer to his face. His mouth found my ear.
“Say it again.”
I brought my hands from his shoulders up around his neck. “What do you want me to say?” I teased.
He laughed against my hair. “Don’t, Lily, tell me. Come on.”
I fought a giggle, happier than I’d been in a very long time. “I love you, Mr. Park.”
His lips found the base of my neck and softly bit my collarbone. “That drives me crazy,” he breathed, giving me goosebumps.
With his left arm still around my waist, his right hand found the top of my head. His fingers threaded through my hair there, sliding all the way down. He playfully pulled the ends.
His eyes met mine and things went from flirtatious to serious.
“I can’t believe I’m touching you right now,” he told me.
My eyes burned with unshed tears. “I know. Finally. I feel like we have fought really hard to get here.”
“We did, Lily.”
“Thank you, Salinger.”
“For what?” he asked.
“For picking me. You could have picked a million other girls, but you picked me.”
“You’re the only one I’ve ever seen, the only one that ever stood out.”
“I know that feeling well,” I told him.
“I would do anything for you, Little.”
I looked up. “Would you fetch that star right there?”
“Let me get my lasso.”
I smiled at him.
“Would you climb a mountain?”
“Barefoot, Little. I’d do it barefoot.”
“Would you cross the Sahara?”
“With only the memory of your smile to sustain me, I would go.”
“Would you build a house with me?” I asked him, a small tear escaping.
He stared at me a long while. “I would again.”
“Would you love me when I couldn’t love myself?”
“I would again.”
“Would you hold my hand when I was lost?”
“I would again.”
More tears escaped. “Would you kiss me?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
When his lips found mine, I felt it all, every single sacrifice, every single emotion, every single ounce of passion we’d built up since the day we’d met.
He tasted like devotion.
Like respect.
Like admiration.
Like worship.
He tasted like forever.
AS WITH ALL MY BOOKS, I LIKE TO ENCOURAGE DONATION TO A PARTICULAR CHARITY. USUALLY, I’D SUGGEST ONE RIGHT ABOUT HERE, BUT THIS TIME I WANTED US ALL TO RALLY BY GIVING TO A LOCAL BATTERED WOMEN’S SHELTER. SOMEWHERE LILY COULD HAVE BENEFITED IF SHE’D LIVED NEAR YOU.
LOVE YOU ALL TO THE MOON AND BACK.
PEACE AND LOVE,
FISHER AMELIE
IDLE
PLAYLIST
FISHERAMELIE.COM/IDLEHANDS
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OR FIND ME ON ALL SOCIAL PLATFORMS
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Fisher Amelie, Idle
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