‘Ma, I had never considered the fact that our community is utterly different. I felt attracted by the sense of joy and advantage that their friendship, behaviour and example gave me. Not for a moment had any other considerations arisen in my mind.’
‘They don’t arise in my mind even after listening to you.’
‘Ma, you have no idea, I have caused a great upheaval within the community regarding their family; people have started casting such slurs that I can no longer go …’
‘Gora often says something that I find extremely sound,’ responded Anandamoyi. ‘He says, where there is something wrong within, outward calm is most dangerous. If their community is in a turmoil, I see no cause for remorse on your part. It will be for the better, you will see. As long as your own conduct remains above board, that’s enough.’
But that was indeed Binoy’s greatest doubt. Try as he might, he could not decide whether his own conduct was blameless. Since Lalita belonged to a different community, and marrying her was not a possibility, it was Binoy’s tenderness for her that troubled him like a hidden sin, and he was tormented by the thought that he must now do terrible penance for it.
‘Ma,’ said Binoy suddenly, ‘better if the proposed match between Shashimukhi and myself were finalized. I should somehow be confined to my proper place, so I don’t stray from it under any circumstances.’
‘In other words,’ smiled Anandamoyi, ‘you would make Shashimukhi the chain-latch on your door rather than the bride in your home. What a pleasant fate for Shashi!’
At this moment, the attendant announced the arrival of two ladies from Poreshbabu’s house. Binoy’s heart missed a beat. He thought they had come to complain to Anandamoyi, as a warning to him.
‘I’ll be off, Ma!’ he cried, springing to his feet.
‘Don’t leave the house, Binoy,’ Anandamoyi persuaded him, rising to grasp his hand. ‘Wait in the room downstairs.’
‘There was no need for this, really,’ Binoy kept repeating to himself on his way down. ‘What’s done is done, but I would not have gone there again even if my life depended on it. Once the punishment for one’s sins is under way, the fire refuses to subside even after the sinner is burnt to death.’
As Binoy was about to enter Gora’s room on the ground floor overlooking the street, Mahim returned home from work, releasing his expansive paunch from the confinement of his chapkaan buttons.
‘Here you are, Binoy! How nice to see you!’ he exclaimed, grasping Binoy’s hand. ‘I’ve been looking for you.’
He drew Binoy into Gora’s chamber and offering him a chowki, seated himself as well. Extracting a box from his pocket, he offered Binoy a paan.
‘You there! Fetch us some tobacco!’ he roared, then immediately turned to the matter at hand. ‘What’s the decision about that business? How long, after all …’
He found Binoy’s attitude much softened. Not that Binoy expressed much enthusiasm, but he also made no evasive attempt to dodge the issue somehow. Mahim wanted to finalize the date and time immediately.
‘Why not wait until Gora returns?’ Binoy suggested.
‘That’s just a matter of a few days,’ consented Mahim, reassured. ‘Binoy, shall I send for some snacks? What do you say? You look very downcast today. You are not ill, I hope?’
When Binoy eluded the pressure to consume snacks, Mahim went inside to appease his own hunger. Pulling a book at random from Gora’s table, Binoy began to turn the pages, then flinging the book aside, he began to pace the room from end to end.
‘Ma has sent for you,’ the attendant came and announced.
‘Who has she sent for?’ Binoy demanded.
‘You, sir.’
‘Are all the others there as well?’
‘Yes, they are.’
Binoy made his way upstairs like a student heading for the examination hall. Approaching the room, he hesitated a little. At once, Sucharita called out to him in her usual natural, sisterly manner.
‘Come, Binoybabu,’ she invited him tenderly.
Her tone made Binoy feel that he had chanced upon an unhoped-for treasure. When he entered the room, Sucharita and Lalita were amazed at his appearance. In this very short time, his face already bore signs of the sudden, harsh blow he had suffered. His ever-cheerful countenance now resembled a lush green field suddenly devastated by a plague of locusts. Lalita secretly felt pain and pity, but also a hint of joy. On a different occasion, Lalita would not have suddenly launched into a conversation with Binoy. But now, as soon as he entered, she declared:
‘Binoybabu, we have something to discuss with you.’
It was as if Binoy’s heart had been struck by an arrow of joy that pierced the sound barrier. He was exhilarated. His pale, dejected face instantly lit up.
‘We sisters want to jointly start a small school for girls,’ Lalita told him.
‘It has long been one of my life’s resolves to create a school for girls,’ cried Binoy enthusiastically.
‘You must help us,’ Lalita demanded.
‘I shall spare no effort to do whatever is in my power,’ Binoy assured her. ‘Please tell me what I must do.’
‘Because we are Brahmo, Hindu guardians don’t trust us,’ Lalita explained. ‘You must try to assist us.’
‘Have no fear,’ said Binoy, aflame with eagerness. ‘I can handle it.’
‘Handle it he can,’ remarked Anandamoyi. ‘When it comes to charming people with words, there is no match for Binoy.’
‘You must handle all the work involved in running a school according to proper rules and procedures,’ Lalita informed him. ‘Forming timetables, allotting classes, prescribing textbooks—you must undertake all these things.’
This, too, was not difficult for Binoy, but he was baffled. Was Lalita utterly unaware that Borodasundari had forbidden him to mingle with her daughters, and that within their community there was a rising tide of hostility against them? Under such circumstances, would it be wrong, and harmful for Lalita, if Binoy agreed to her request? The question began to torment him. On the other hand, when Lalita sought his assistance in some worthwhile project, did Binoy possess the strength to avoid acceding wholeheartedly to her request?
Meanwhile, Sucharita was also amazed. She had not dreamt that Lalita would suddenly ask Binoy to assist with the girls’ school, in this fashion. So many complications had already arisen concerning Binoy, and now, what was this new predicament! Seeing that Lalita was deliberately creating this situation, Sucharita felt apprehensive. She realized that Lalita’s heart had grown rebellious, but was it right to involve poor Binoy in this turmoil?
‘We must consult Baba about this once, mustn’t we?’ Sucharita blurted out anxiously. ‘Let us not immediately arouse Binoybabu’s hopes of acquiring the post of the inspector of a girls’ school.’
Binoy realized that Sucharita had artfully stalled the proposal. This struck him as odd. Sucharita was obviously aware of the problems that had arisen, hence Lalita could not be in the dark about them either. Then why was Lalita …? Nothing was clear.
‘Of course we must consult Baba,’ Lalita affirmed. ‘I shall speak to him as soon as Binoybabu confirms his willingness. Baba would never object. He, too, must be involved in this school of ours. We shan’t let you off either,’ she added, turning to Anandamoyi.
‘I could go sweep your schoolrooms,’ smiled Anandamoyi. ‘What more would I be capable of?’
‘That would be sufficient, Ma!’ Binoy declared. ‘The school would be completely purified.’
After Sucharita and Lalita had taken their leave, Binoy headed straight for the Eden Gardens on foot.
‘I found Binoy much more amenable,’ Mahim came to Anandamoyi and said. ‘Now it’s best to complete the ceremony at the earliest. Who knows when he might change his mind again?’
&nb
sp; ‘What’s this!’ exclaimed Anandamoyi in astonishment. ‘When did Binoy ever agree to the proposal? He hasn’t told me anything about it.’
‘We have discussed the matter today itself. He says we can fix a date as soon as Gora returns.’
‘Mahim,’ insisted Anandamoyi shaking her head, ‘you have not understood him right, I tell you.’
‘Thick-headed I might be, but please rest assured I am old enough to understand simple facts.’
‘Bachha, I know you will be angry with me, but I can foresee complications ahead.’
‘If you create complications, then complications are bound to occur,’ retorted Mahim severely.
‘Mahim, I shall tolerate anything all of you may say to me, but for your own good, I refuse to be party to something that may cause trouble.’
‘If you leave it to us to decide about our own good, you will be spared unpleasant words, and we, too, might benefit,’ Mahim declared harshly. ‘Better you should think about our own good once Shashimukhi is married. What do you say?’
Offering no reply, Anandamoyi heaved a sigh. Chewing upon a paan he extracted from the box in his pocket, Mahim walked away.
~46~
‘Because we are Brahmo no Hindu girl wants to come to us for tutoring,’ Lalita came to Poreshbabu and said. ‘So we feel it might facilitate our work if we involve someone from the Hindu community. What do you say, Baba?’
‘Where would you find someone from the Hindu community?’ Poreshbabu enquired.
Lalita had indeed braced herself for this meeting, but she suddenly found herself embarrassed at the prospect of mentioning Binoy’s name.
‘Why?’ she said, forcibly shedding her awkwardness, ‘it’s not as if someone can’t be found. There’s our Binoybabu for instance, or …’ This ‘or’ was utterly redundant, merely a grammatical excess. The sentence remained suspended, incomplete.
‘Binoy!’ exclaimed Poresh. ‘Why would Binoy agree?’
Lalita’s pride was hurt. Binoybabu not agree! She had realized only too well that it was not beyond her power to make Binoybabu agree.
‘Well, he might consent,’ she said.
‘All things considered, he would never consent,’ declared Poreshbabu, after a pause.
Lalita blushed to the roots of her ears. She began toying with the bunch of keys knotted at the end of her aanchal. Observing his daughter’s tormented face, Poreshbabu’s heart ached, but he could find no way to console her. After a while, Lalita slowly raised her head and said: ‘Baba, our school can never be established, then!’
‘I can see many hindrances that would prevent it from being established now,’ Poreshbabu agreed. ‘Any attempt would spark a lot of unpleasant discussion.’
Nothing was more painful for Lalita than the fact that Panubabu would ultimately triumph and that she must silently let injustice win. In this regard she could not have accepted anyone else’s authority save her father’s, not for a single moment. She did not fear any form of unpleasantness, but how could she tolerate injustice? Slowly she arose and left Poreshbabu’s side. Back in her own room she found that a letter had arrived by post, addressed to her. From the handwriting she realized it was from her childhood friend Shailabala, who was married, living with her husband in Bankipur. The letter said:
I was upset to hear all sorts of rumours about all of you. For many days I have been thinking of writing to enquire about you, but could not find the time. But the day before yesterday, the news I received from somebody (he shall go unnamed) left me thunderstruck. I could never have imagined this possible. But it is also hard to disbelieve the person who wrote to me about it. Apparently you are likely to marry a Hindu boy. If that is true … and so on.
Lalita’s whole being was aflame with fury. She could not wait a single moment. At once she replied:
What amazes me is the fact that you have sent me a query to verify the news. Is it necessary to verify even the news received from a member of the Brahmo Samaj? Such lack of faith! Next, you are thunderstruck upon hearing that I am likely to marry a Hindu boy; but I can assure you, there is a well-known member of the Brahmo Samaj who is a worthy young man, and yet the prospect of marrying him fills me with a dread as terrible as a thunderbolt. And I know a couple of Hindu boys whose hand in marriage would be a matter of honour for any Brahmo maiden. Beyond this I have nothing more to say to you.
Meanwhile, Poreshbabu’s work had come to a standstill for the day. For a long time he was silent, lost in thought. Then, slowly and pensively, he went to Sucharita’s room. The sight of Poresh’s worried face pained Sucharita’s heart. She knew, too, what he was worried about, and she herself had been anxious about the same thing of late. Poreshbabu took Sucharita aside to a secluded chamber and said:
‘Ma, it is time for us to worry about Lalita.’
‘I know, Baba,’ she replied, gazing at him with compassion.
‘I am not worrying about social slander,’ he explained. ‘I am thinking … tell me, is Lalita …’
Observing his embarrassment, Sucharita took it upon herself to clarify matters.
‘Lalita always shares her thoughts with me,’ she said. ‘But of late she has been rather evasive. I clearly sense …’
‘Some feelings have been aroused in Lalita’s heart, which she does not want to admit even to herself,’ Poresh interrupted. ‘I can’t think what we can do so she … Would you say we have done Lalita any harm by allowing Binoy to visit us?’
‘Baba, you know there are no flaws in Binoybabu’s character. He is pure of nature; one rarely comes across a born bhadralok like him.’
‘Quite right, Radhé, quite right,’ exclaimed Poreshbabu as if apprised of a new fact. ‘It is his goodness of nature that we must take into account. Ishwar, the all-knowing, does the same. I offer him my pranams again and again, that Binoy is a good man, and that I was not mistaken about him.’
Poreshbabu seemed relieved, as if he had broken free of some net that would trap him. He had not sinned before his deity. He had followed the same scales of justice on which Ishwar weighed humans, the scales of daily duty. Because he had not used the false weights created by society to tamper with those scales, his mind was now free of self-blame. He felt surprised he had been so tormented, unable for so long to understand something so simple.
‘I have learnt a lesson from you today, ma,’ he told Sucharita, patting her head.
At once she touched his feet, protesting, ‘No! No! How can you say that, Baba!’
‘The community makes us completely forget the simplest thing: our own humanity. Human beings create a complicated maze, questioning whether one is Brahmo or Hindu, making this socially-produced issue more important than the truth of the universe. All this time, I was vainly wandering in that maze.’
‘Lalita is finding it hard to relinquish her resolve to start a school for girls,’ continued Poresh after a short silence. ‘She wants my permission to take Binoy’s help in the matter.’
‘No, Baba, let it wait for a while.’
Poresh’s affectionate heart was deeply disturbed at the way Lalita had looked when she left his presence as soon as he forbade her, suppressing the turbulence of her troubled soul. He knew that his spirited daughter was less offended at the unjust harassment inflicted on her by her community than at being thwarted in her struggle against such injustice, especially since the cause of obstruction was her father. He was therefore eager to withdraw the prohibition he had imposed.
‘Why Radhé?’ he demanded, ‘why let it be for now?’
‘Or else Ma will be very annoyed.’ Thinking about it, Poreshbabu realized she was right.
Satish came in and whispered something in Sucharita’s ear. ‘No bhai,’ Sucharita responded. ‘No bakhtiar, not now. Tomorrow.’
‘But I have school tomorrow,’ protes
ted Satish, downcast.
‘What is it Satish, what do you want?’ smiled Poresh affectionately.
‘He has a …’ Sucharita began.
‘No, no, please don’t tell, don’t tell!’ pleaded Satish in agitation, clamping his hand on Sucharita’s mouth.
‘If it’s a secret, why would Sucharita reveal it?’ asked Poreshbabu.
‘No Baba, he must be very keen for this secret to reach your ears,’ Sucharita informed him.
‘Never!’ shouted Satish, ‘not at all!’ He ran off.
He was supposed to show Sucharita the composition that Binoy had praised so highly. Needless to say, Sucharita had correctly surmised why he had reminded her of the matter in Poresh’s presence. Poor Satish did not know that such deep, secret motives could be detected so easily.
~47~
Four days later, Haranbabu came to Borodasundari with a letter. He had now given up all expectations of Poreshbabu.
‘From the outset I have tried very hard to warn all of you,’ declared Haranbabu, handing the letter to Borodasundari. ‘That has made me unpopular here as well. Now from this very letter you will realize how far things have secretly advanced.’
Borodasundari read the letter Lalita had written to Shailabala.
‘Tell me, how was I to know?’ she lamented. ‘The unthinkable is happening. But you mustn’t blame me for this, I tell you. All of you have collectively turned Sucharita’s head, praising her excessively for being such a good girl, as if there is no girl to match her in the Brahmo Samaj. Now you must deal with the handiwork of your ideal Brahmo girl. It is she who has brought Binoy and Gour into this household. Still, I had managed to a great extent to bring Binoy around to our way of thinking. But then she brought a mashi of hers and introduced idol worship into our own household. She even poisoned Binoy’s mind, so now he avoids me. This Sucharita of yours is at the root of all that’s happening now. I knew all along what that girl was really like, but I never said a word. All along, I have brought her up so nobody could tell she wasn’t my own daughter—and now see what rewards I have reaped! It’s no use showing me this letter now. Now it’s up to all of you.’