Chapter XXXVI
In which Mr Vanslyperken, although at fault, comes in for the brush.
Vanslyperken having obtained his despatches from the States General,called at the house of Mynheer Krause, and received the letters ofRamsay, then, once more, the cutter's head was turned towards England.
It may be as well to remind the reader, that it was in the month ofJanuary, sixteen hundred and ninety-nine, that we first introduced MrVanslyperken and his contemporaries to his notice, and that all theimportant events, which we have recorded, have taken place between thatdate and the month of May, which is now arrived. We think, indeed, thatthe peculiar merit of this work is its remarkable unity of time andplace; for, be it observed, we intend to finish it long before the yearis out, and our whole scene is, it may be said, laid in the channel, orbetween the channel and the Texel, which, considering it is anhistorical novel, is remarkable. Examine other productions of thisnature, founded upon historical facts, like our own, and observe thedifference. Read Scott, Bulwer, James, or Grattan, read their historicalnovels, and observe how they fly about from country to country, and fromclime to clime. As the Scythians said to Alexander, their right armextends to the east, and their left to the west, and the world canhardly contain them. And over how many years do they extend their pages?while our bantling is produced in the regular nine months, being theexact period of time which is required for my three volumes. It must,therefore, be allowed that in unity of time, and place and design, andadherence to facts, our historical novel is unique.
We said that it was the month of May--not May coming in as she doessometimes in her caprice, pouting, and out of humour--but May all insmiles. The weather was warm, and the sea was smooth, and the men of thecutter had stowed away their pea-jackets, and had pulled off theirfishermen's boots, and had substituted shoes. Mr Vanslyperken did notoften appear on deck during the passage. He was very busy down below,and spread a piece of bunting across the skylight, so that no one couldlook down and see what he was about, and the cabin-door was almostalways locked. What could Mr Vanslyperken be about? No one knew butSnarleyyow, and Snarleyyow could not or would not tell.
The cutter anchored in her old berth, and Vanslyperken, as usual, wenton shore, with his double set of despatches, which were duly delivered;and then Mr Vanslyperken went up the main street, and turned into ajeweller's shop. What could Mr Vanslyperken do there? Surely it was topurchase something for the widow Vandersloosh--a necklace or pair ofear-rings. No, it was not with that intention; but nevertheless, MrVanslyperken remained there for a long while, and then was seen todepart. Seen by whom? By Moggy Salisbury, who had observed his entering,and who could not imagine why; she, however, said nothing, but shemarked the shop, and walked away.
The next day, Mr Vanslyperken went on shore, to put into his mother'scharge the money which he had received from Ramsay, and narrated allthat had passed--how Smallbones had swallowed two-pennyworth of arsenicwith no more effect upon him than one twinge in his stomach, and how henow fully believed that nothing would kill the boy.
"Pshaw! child--phut!--nonsense!--nothing kill him?--had he been in myhands, old as they are, and shaking as they do, he would not have lived;no, no--nobody escapes me when I am determined. We'll talk about that,but not now, Cornelius; the weather has turned warm at last, and thereis no need of fire. Go, child, the money is locked up safe, and I havemy mood upon me--I may even do you a mischief."
Vanslyperken, who knew that it was useless to remain after this hint,walked off and returned on board. As he pulled off, he passed a boat,apparently coming from the cutter, with Moggy Salisbury sitting in thestern-sheets. She waved her hand at him, and laughed ironically.
"Impudent hussy!" thought Vanslyperken, as she passed, but he dared notsay a word. He turned pale with rage, and turned his head away; butlittle did he imagine, at the time, what great cause he had ofindignation. Moggy had been three hours on board of the cutter talkingwith the men, but more particularly with Smallbones and the corporal,with which two she had been in earnest conference for the first hourthat she was on board.
Moggy's animosity to Vanslyperken is well known, and she ridiculed theidea of Snarleyyow being anything more than an uncommon lucky dog inescaping so often. Smallbones was of her opinion, and again declared hisintention of doing the dog a mischief as soon as he could. Moggy, afterher conference with these two, mixed with the ship's company, with whomshe had always been a favourite, and the corporal proceeded tosuperintend the cutting up and the distribution of the fresh beef whichhad that morning come on board.
The beef block was on the forecastle, where the major part of the crew,with Moggy, were assembled; Snarleyyow had always attended the corporalon these occasions, and was still the best of friends with him; forsomehow or another, the dog had not seemed to consider the corporal aparty to his brains being knocked out, but had put it all down to hisnatural enemy, Smallbones. The dog was, as usual, standing by the blockclose to the corporal, and picking up the fragments of beef whichdropped from the chopper.
"I vowed by gum, that I'd have that ere dog's tail off," observedSmallbones; "and if no one will peach, off it shall go now. And whocares? If I can't a kill him dead, I'll get rid of him by bits. There'sone eye out already, and now I've a mind for his tail. Corporal, lend methe cleaver."
"Bravo, Smallbones, we won't peach--not one of us."
"I'm not sure of that," replied Moggy; "some won't, I know; but thereare others who may, and then Smallbones will be keel-hauled as sure asfate, and Vanslyperken will have right on his side. No, no,Smallbones--you must not do it. Give me the cleaver, corporal, I'll doit; and anyone may tell him who pleases, when he comes on board. I don'tcare for him--and he knows it, corporal. Hand me the cleaver."
"That's right, let Moggy do it," said the seamen.
The corporal turned the dog round, so as to leave his tail on the block,and fed him with small pieces of meat, to keep him in the same position.
"Are you all ready, Moggy?" said Smallbones.
"Back him a little more on the block, corporal, for I won't leave him aninch if I can help it," said Moggy; "and stand farther back, allof you."
Moggy raised the cleaver, took good aim--down it came upon the dog'stail, which was separated within an inch of its insertion, and was leftbleeding on the block, while the dog sprang away aft, howling mostterribly, and leaving a dotted line of blood to mark his course uponthe deck.
"There's a nice skewer-piece for anyone who fancies it," observed Moggy,looking at the dog's tail, and throwing down the cleaver. "I think MrVanslyperken has had enough now for trying to flog my Jemmy--my own duckof a husband."
"Well," observed Coble, "seeing's believing; but, otherwise, I nevershould have thought it possible to have divided that ere dog's tail inthat way."
"He can't be much of a devil now," observed Bill Spurey; "for what's adevil without a tail? A devil is like a sarpent, whose sting is inhis tail."
"Yes," replied Short, who had looked on in silence.
"But, I say, Moggy, perhaps it's as well for him not to find you onboard."
"What do I care?" replied Moggy. "He is more afraid of me than I of him;but, howsomever, it's just as well not to be here, as it may get othersin trouble. Mind you say at once it was me--I defy him."
Moggy then wished them good-bye, and quitted the cutter, when she wasmet, as we have already observed, by Vanslyperken.
"Mein Gott! vat must be done now?" observed the corporal to those abouthim, looking at the mangy tail which still remained on the beef-block.
"Done, corporal," replied Smallbones, "why, you must come for to go forto complain on it, as he comes on board. You must take the tail, andtell the tale, and purtend to be as angry and as sorry as himself, anddamn _her_ up in heaps. That's what must be done."
This was not bad advice on the part of Smallbones--the ship's companyagreed to it, and the corporal perceived the propriety of it.
In the meantime, the dog had retreated to the cabin, and his howlin
gshad gradually ceased; but he had left a track of blood along the deck,and down the ladder, which Dick Short perceiving, pointed to it, andcried out "Swabs."
The men brought swabs aft, and had cleaned the deck and the ladder downto the cabin door, when Mr Vanslyperken came on board.
"Has that woman been here?" inquired Mr Vanslyperken, as he came ondeck.
"Yes," replied Dick Short.
"Did not I give positive orders that she should not?" criedVanslyperken.
"No," replied Dick Short.
"Then I do now," continued the lieutenant.
"Too late," observed Short, shrugging up his shoulders, and walkingforward.
"Too late! what does he mean?" said Vanslyperken, turning to Coble.
"I knows nothing about it, sir," replied Coble. "She came for some ofher husband's things that were left on board."
Vanslyperken turned round to look for the corporal for explanation.
There stood Corporal Van Spitter, perfectly erect, with a verymelancholy face, one hand raised as usual to his cap, and the otheroccupied with the tail of Snarleyyow.
"What is it? what is the matter, corporal?"
"Mynheer Vanslyperken," replied the corporal, retaining his respectfulattitude, "here is de tail."
"Tail! what tail?" exclaimed Vanslyperken, casting his eyes upon thecontents of the corporal's left hand.
"Te tog's tail, mynheer," replied the corporal, gravely, "which de damtog's wife--Moggy--"
Vanslyperken stared; he could scarcely credit his eyesight, but there itwas. For a time he could not speak for agitation; at last, with atremendous oath, he darted into the cabin.
What were his feelings when he beheld Snarleyyow lying in a cornertailless, with a puddle of blood behind him.
"My poor, poor dog!" exclaimed Vanslyperken, covering up his face.
His sorrow soon changed to rage--he invoked all the curses he couldimagine upon Moggy's head--he vowed revenge--he stamped with rage--andthen he patted Snarleyyow; and as the beast looked wistfully in hisface, Vanslyperken shed tears. "My poor, poor dog! first your eye--andnow your tail--what will your persecutors require next? Perdition seizethem! may perdition be my portion if I am not revenged. Smallbones is atthe bottom of all this; I can--I will be revenged on him."
Vanslyperken rang the bell, and the corporal made his appearance withthe dog's tail still in his hand.
"Lay it down on the table, corporal," said Vanslyperken, mournfully,"and tell me how this happened."
The corporal then entered into a long detail of the way in which thedog had been _de_tailed--how he had been cutting up beef--and how whilehis back was turned, and Snarleyyow, as usual, was at the block, pickingup the bits, Moggy Salisbury, who had been allowed to come on board byMr Short, had caught up the cleaver and chopped off the dog's tail.
"Was Smallbones at the block?" inquired Vanslyperken.
"He was, mynheer," replied the corporal.
"Who held the dog while his tail was chopped off?" inquiredVanslyperken, "some one must have held him."
This was a home question; but the corporal replied, "Yes, mynheer, someone must have held the dog."
"You did not hear who it was, or if it were Smallbones?"
"I did not, mynheer," replied the corporal; "but," added he with asignificant look, "I tink I could say."
"Yes, yes, corporal, I know who you mean. It was him--I am sure--and assure as I sit here I'll be revenged. Bring a swab, corporal, and wipe upall this blood. Do you think the poor animal will recover?"
"Yes, mynheer; there be togs with tail and togs without tail."
"But the loss of blood--what must be done to stop the bleeding?"
"Dat d----n woman Moggy, when I say te tog die--tog bleed to death, shesay, tell Mynheer Vanslyperken dat de best ting for cure de cur be dered hot poker."
Here Vanslyperken stamped his feet and swore horribly.
"She say, mynheer, it stop all de bleeding."
"I wish she had a hot poker down her body," exclaimed Vanslyperken,bitterly.
"Go for the swab, corporal, and send Smallbones here."
Smallbones made his appearance.
"Did you come for--to want me, sir?"
"Yes, sir. I understand from the corporal that you held the dog whilethat woman cut off his tail."
"If so be as how as the corporal says that ere," cried Smallbones,striking the palm of his left hand with his right fist, "why I amjiggered if he don't tell a lie as big as himself--that's all. That ereman is my mortal henemy; and if that ere dog gets into trouble I'm asartain to be in trouble too. What should I cut the dog's tail off for,I should like for to know? I arn't so hungry as all that, any how."
The idea of eating his dog's tail increased the choler of MrVanslyperken. With looks of malignant vengeance he ordered Smallbonesout of the cabin.
"Shall I shy this here overboard, sir?" said Smallbones, taking up thedog's tail, which lay on the table.
"Drop it, sir," roared Vanslyperken.
Smallbones walked away, grinning with delight, but his face was turnedfrom Mr Vanslyperken.
The corporal returned, swabbed up the blood, and reported that thebleeding had stopped. Mr Vanslyperken had no further orders for him--hewished to be left alone. He leaned his head upon his hand, and remainedfor some time in a melancholy reverie, with his eyes fixed upon thetail, which lay before him--that tail, now a "bleeding piece of earth,"which never was to welcome him with a wag again. What passed inVanslyperken's mind during this time, it would be too difficult and toolong to repeat, for the mind flies over time and space with the rapidityof the lightning's flash. At last he rose, took up the dog's tail, putit into his pocket, went on deck, ordered his boat, and pulled on shore.