Chapter XLIV

  In which Mr Vanslyperken meets with a double defeat.

  It was late in the evening of the day after Smallbones had been sosatisfactorily disposed of that the cutter arrived at Portsmouth; butfrom daylight until the time that the cutter anchored, there was nosmall confusion and bustle on board of the _Yungfrau_. WhenVanslyperken's cabin door was found to be locked, it was determined thatSmallbones should not appear as a supernatural visitant that night, butwait till the one following; consequently the parties retired to bed,and Smallbones, who found the heat between decks very oppressive, hadcrept up the ladder and taken a berth in the small boat that he mightsleep cool and comfortable, intending to be down below again long beforeMr Vanslyperken was up; but, as the reader knows, Mr Vanslyperken was upbefore him, and the consequence was that Smallbones went down into thesea instead of the lower deck as he had intended.

  The next morning it was soon ascertained that Smallbones was not to befound, and the ship's company were in a state of dismay. The boat, assoon as Smallbones had been turned out, had resumed her uprightposition, and one of the men when busy washing the decks, had made fastthe gripe again, which he supposed had been cast off by accident whenthe ropes had been coiled up for washing, Smallbones not being at thattime missed. When, therefore, the decks had been searched everywhere andthe lad was discovered not to be in the ship, the suspicion was verygreat. No one had seen him go aft to sleep in the boat. The man who wasat the wheel stated that Mr Vanslyperken had sent him down for a glassof grog, and had taken the helm for the time; but this proved nothing.His disappearance was a mystery not to be unravelled. An appeal to MrVanslyperken was, of course, impossible, for he did not know that thelad was on board. The whole day was spent in surmises and suppositions;but things all ended in the simple fact, that somehow or anotherSmallbones had fallen overboard, and there was an end of thepoor fellow.

  So soon as the cutter was at anchor, Mr Vanslyperken hastened to performhis official duties, and anxious to learn how Smallbones had contrivedto escape the clutches of his mother, bent his steps towards thehalf-way houses. He arrived at the door of his mother's room, andknocked as usual, but there was no reply. It was now the latter end ofJuly, and although it was past seven o'clock it was full daylight.Vanslyperken knocked again and again. His mother must be out, hethought; and if so, she always took the key with her. He had nothing todo but to wait for her return. The passage and staircase was dark, butthere was a broad light in the room from the casement, and this lightstreamed from under the door of the room. A shade crossing the lightattracted Vanslyperken's attention, and to while away the tediousness ofwaiting he was curious to see what it was; he knelt down, looked underthe door, and perceived the key which Smallbones had placed there; heinserted his finger and drew it forth, imagining that his mother hadslid it beneath till her return.

  He fitted it to the lock and opened the door, when his olfactory nerveswere offended with a dreadful stench, which surprised him the more asthe casement was open. Vanslyperken surveyed the room, he perceived thatthe blood had been washed from the floor and sand strewed over it. Hadhe not known that Smallbones had been on board of the cutter the daybefore, he would have thought that it had been the smell of the deadbody not yet removed. This thought crossing his imagination, immediatelymade the truth flash upon him, and, as if instinctively, he went up tothe bed and pulled down the clothes, when he recoiled back with horrorat uncovering the face of his mother, now of a livid blue and in thelast stage of putrefaction.

  Overcome with the horrid sight, and the dreadful stench whichaccompanied it, he reeled to the casement and gasped for breath. Asickness came over him, and for some time he was incapable of acting andbarely capable of reflection.

  "She is gone then," thought he at last, and he shuddered when he askedhimself _where_. "She must have fallen by the hands of the lad,"continued he, and immediately the whole that had happened appeared to berevealed to him. "Yes, yes, he has recovered from the blow--killed herand locked the door--all is clear now, but I have revenged her death."

  Vanslyperken, who had now recovered himself, went softly to the door,took out the key and locked himself in. He had been debating in his mindwhether he should call in the neighbours; but, on reflection, as no onehad seen him enter, he determined that he would not. He would take hisgold and leave the door locked and the key under it, as he found itbefore her death was discovered: it would be supposed that she died anatural death, for the state of the body would render it impossible toprove the contrary. But there was one act necessary to be performed atwhich Vanslyperken's heart recoiled. The key of the oak chest was abouthis mother's person and he must obtain it, he must search for it incorruption and death, amongst creeping worms and noisome stench. It washalf an hour before he could make up his mind to the task! but what willavarice not accomplish!

  He covered up the face, and with a trembling hand turned over thebedclothes. But we must not disgust our readers, it will suffice to say,that the key was obtained, and the chest opened.

  Vanslyperken found all his own gold, and much more than he had everexpected belonging to his mother. There were other articles belonging tohim, but he thought it prudent not to touch them. He loaded himself withthe treasure, and when he felt that it was all secure, for he wasobliged to divide it in different parcels and stow it in various mannersabout his person, he relocked the chest, placed the key in the cupboard,and quitting the room made fast the door, and like a dutiful son, leftthe remains of his mother to be inhumed at the expense of the parish.

  As he left the house without being observed, and gained the town ofPortsmouth, never was Mr Vanslyperken's body so heavily loaded, or hisheart lighter. He had got rid of Smallbones and of his mother, both in away perfectly satisfactory to himself.

  He had recovered his own gold, and had also been enriched beyond hishopes by his mother's savings. He felt not the weight which he carriedabout his person, he wished it had been heavier. All he felt was, veryanxious to be on board and have his property secured. His boat waitedfor him, and one of the men informed him his presence was required atthe admiral's immediately; but Mr Vanslyperken first went on board, andhaving safely locked up all his treasures, then complied with theadmiral's wishes. They were to sail immediately, for the intelligence ofthe Duke of Gloucester's death had just arrived with the despatches,announcing the same to be taken to King William, who was still at theHague. Vanslyperken sent the boat on board with orders to Short, toheave short and loose sails, and then hastened up to the house ofLazarus, the Jew, aware that the cutter would, in all probability, bedespatched immediately to the Hague. The Jew had the letters for Ramsayall prepared. Vanslyperken once more touched his liberal fee, and, in anhour, he was again under way for the Texel.

  During the passage, which was very quick, Mr Vanslyperken amused himselfas usual, in copying the letters to Ramsay, which contained the mostimportant intelligence of the projects of the Jacobites, and, from thevarious communications between Ramsay and the conspirators, Vanslyperkenhad also been made acquainted with the circumstance hitherto unknown tohim, of the existence of the caves above the cove, where he had beentaken to by the informer, as mentioned in the early part of this work,and also of the names of the parties who visited it.

  Of this intelligence Vanslyperken determined to avail himselfby-and-bye. It was evident that there were only women in the cave, andMr Vanslyperken counted his gold, patted the head of Snarleyyow, andindulged in anticipations of further wealth, and the hand of the widowVandersloosh.

  All dreams! Mr Vanslyperken.

  The cutter arrived, and he landed with his despatches for thegovernment; and his letters to Ramsay being all delivered, Vanslyperkenhastened to the widow's, who, as usual, received him, all smiles. He nowconfided to her the death of his mother, and astonished her byrepresenting the amount of his wealth, which he had the precaution tostate, that the major part of it was left him by his mother.

  "Where have you put it all, Mr Vanslyperken?" inquired t
he widow. AndVanslyperken replied that he had come to ask her advice on the subject,as it was at present all on board of the cutter. The widow, who was notindifferent to money, was more gracious than ever. She had a scheme inher head of persuading him to leave the money under her charge; butVanslyperken was anxious to go on board again, for he discovered thatthe key was not in his pocket, and he was fearful that he might haveleft it on the cabin table; so he quitted rather abruptly, and the widowhad not time to bring the battery to bear. As soon as Mr Vanslyperkenarrived on board, Corporal Van Spitter, without asking leave, for hefelt it was not necessary, went on shore, and was soon in the arms ofhis enamoured widow Vandersloosh. In the meantime, Mr Vanslyperkendiscovered the key in the pocket of the waistcoat he had thrown off, andhaving locked his door, he again opened his drawer, and delightedhimself for an hour or two in re-arranging his treasure; after which,feeling himself in want of occupation, it occurred to him, that he mightas well dedicate a little more time to the widow, so he manned his boatand went on shore again.

  It is all very well to have a morning and afternoon lover if ladies areso inclined, just as they have a morning and afternoon dress, but theyshould be worn separately. Now, as it never entered the head of MrVanslyperken that the corporal was playing him false, so did it neverenter the idea of the widow, that Mr Vanslyperken would make hisappearance in the evening, and leave the cutter and Snarleyyow, withoutthe corporal being on board to watch over them.

  But Mr Vanslyperken did leave the cutter and Snarleyyow, did come onshore, did walk to the widow's house, and did most unexpectedly enterit, and what was the consequence?--that he was not perceived when heentered it, and the door of the parlour as well as the front door beingopen to admit the air, for the widow and the corporal found that makinglove in the dog days was rather warm work for people of theircalibre--to his mortification and rage the lieutenant beheld thecorporal seated in his berth, on the little fubsy sofa, with one armround the widow's waist, his other hand joined in hers, and, _prohpudor!_ sucking at her dewy lips like some huge carp under thewater-lilies on a midsummer's afternoon.

  Mr Vanslyperken was transfixed--the parties were too busy with theiramorous interchange to perceive his presence; at last the corporalthought that his lips required moistening with a little of the beer ofthe widow's own brewing, for the honey of her lips had rather glued themtogether--he turned towards the table to take up his tumbler, and hebeheld Mr Vanslyperken.

  The corporal, for a moment, was equally transfixed, but on theseoccasions people act mechanically because they don't know what to do.The corporal had been well drilled, he rose from the sofa, held himselfperfectly upright, and raised the back of his right hand to hisforehead, there he stood like a statue saluting at the presence of hissuperior officer.

  The widow had also perceived the presence of Vanslyperken almost as soonas the corporal, but a woman's wits are more at their command on theseoccasions than a man's. She felt that all concealment was now useless,and she prepared for action. At the same time, although ready todischarge a volley of abuse upon Vanslyperken, she paused, to ascertainhow she should proceed. Assuming an indifferent air, she said--"Well, MrVanslyperken?"

  "Well!" exclaimed Vanslyperken, but he could not speak for passion.

  "Eaves-dropping, as usual, Mr Vanslyperken?"

  "May the roof of this house drop on you, you infernal----."

  "No indelicate language, if you please, sir," interrupted the widow, "Iwon't put up with it in my house, I can tell you--ho, ho, MrVanslyperken," continued the widow, working herself into a rage, "thatwon't do here, Mr Vanslyperken."

  "Why, you audacious--you double-faced----"

  "Double-faced!--it's a pity you wer'n't double-faced, as you call it,with that snivelling nose and crooked chin of yours. Double-faced,heh!--oh! oh! Mr Vanslyperken--we shall see--wait a little--we shallsee who's double-faced. Yes, yes, Mr Vanslyperken--that for you, MrVanslyperken--I can hang you when I please, Mr Vanslyperken. Corporal,how many guineas did you see counted out to him at the house opposite?"

  During all this the corporal remained fixed and immovable with his handup to the salute; but on being questioned by his mistress, he replied,remaining in the same respectful attitude.

  "Fifty golden guineas, Mistress Vandersloosh."

  "A lie! an infamous lie!" cried Vanslyperken, drawing his sword."Traitor, that you are," continued he to the corporal, "take yourreward." This was a very critical moment. The corporal did not attemptthe defensive, but remained in the same attitude, and Vanslyperken'srage at the falsehood of the widow, and the discovery of his treason wasso great, that he had lost all command of himself. Had not a third partycome in just as Vanslyperken drew his sword, it might have gone hardwith the corporal; but fortunately Babette came in from the yard, andperceiving the sword fly out of the scabbard, she put her hand behindthe door, and snatched two long-handled brooms, one of which she putinto the hands of her mistress, and retained the other herself.

  "Take your reward!" cried Vanslyperken, running furiously to cut downthe corporal. But his career was stopped by the two brooms, one of whichtook him in the face, and the other in the chest. The widow and Babettenow ranged side by side, holding their brooms as soldiers do their armsin charge of bayonets.

  How did the corporal act? He retained his former respectful position,leaving the defensive or offensive in the hands of the widowand Babette.

  This check on the part of Vanslyperken only added to his rage. Again heflew with his sword at the corporal, and again he was met with thebesoms in his face. He caught one with his hand, and he was knocked backwith the other. He attempted to cut them in two with his sword, butin vain.

  "Out of my house, you villain!--you traitor--out of my house," criedthe widow, pushing at him with such force as to drive him against thewall, and pinning him there while Babette charged him in his face whichwas now streaming with blood. The attack was now followed up with suchvigour, that Vanslyperken was first obliged to retreat to the door, thenout of the door into the street, followed into the street he took to hisheels, and the widow and Babette returned victorious into the parlour tothe corporal. Mr Vanslyperken could not accuse him of want of respect tohis superior officer; he had saluted him on entering, and he was stillsaluting him when he made his exit.

  The widow threw herself on the sofa--Corporal Van Spitter then took hisseat beside her. The widow overcome by her rage and exertion, burst intotears and sobbed in his arms.

  The corporal poured out a glass of beer, and persuaded her to drink it.

  "I'll have him hanged to-morrow, at all events. I'll go to the Haguemyself," cried the widow. "Yes, yes, Mr Vanslyperken, we shall see whowill gain the day," continued the widow, sobbing.

  "You can prove it, corporal?"

  "Mein Gott, yes," replied the corporal.

  "As soon as he's hung, corporal, we'll marry."

  "Mein Gott, yes."

  "Traitorous villain!--sell his king and his country for gold!"

  "Mein Gott, yes."

  "You're sure it was fifty guineas, corporal?"

  "Mein Gott, yes."

  "Ah, well, Mr Vanslyperken, we shall see," said the widow, drying hereyes. "Yes, yes, Mr Vanslyperken, you shall be hanged, and your cur withyou, or my name's not Vandersloosh."

  "Mein Gott, yes," replied the corporal.