The years spent paying for the sins of his parents had left him with a bone-deep distrust of his own desire to love and be loved. She didn't think he even comprehended the real meaning of the word, at least not in the same way that she understood it.
But Caleb's failure to define love properly did not mean that he didn't have a hidden talent for it, Serenity thought optimistically. She had sensed it in him from the first. It was, after all, one of the things that had drawn her to him at the start of their relationship.
This morning she was still convinced that she was right about his ability to love. In the past few days she had seen the banked fires in his eyes, felt the gentleness in his touch, caught glimpses of the deepest reaches of his soul.
Surely a man with such depths had to be capable of giving and receiving love.
Last night she had concluded that the real problem was that Caleb's working definition of love was an extremely narrow one. A person learned about love, after all, from example.
Until she had come along, Serenity realized, the only kind of love Caleb had ever known was the kind that came with strings attached.
It was no wonder he didn't recognize his true feelings for her, Serenity thought as she took another swipe with the duster. For Caleb, the word love had a lot of harsh definitions. Most of them had to do with icy concepts of duty and responsibility. The negative, underlying message that Caleb had always received from his family had been that if he repeated his father's mistakes, he would be unworthy of love.
The meaning of love for Caleb was all tied up with the necessity to prove himself over and over again to a family that never quite trusted him. Or forgave him for the past.
But he felt something else for her, something that he didn't yet understand because it wasn't icy and stark and unforgiving like the concept of duty. It was something for which he did not yet have a clear definition, let alone a name.
At least, she hoped that was true. Because if it wasn't, if she was deluding herself, she was going to pay a terrible price.
That fact left her faced with a dangerous choice. She either took a chance that she was right about Caleb's feelings for her or else she let her own chance at love slip away.
“Serenity, perhaps you should meditate on this decision a little longer,” Zone said gently. “Ariadne says that Caleb is different from the other men you've known.”
“That's true.” Totally different from any man she had ever known, she thought with a small smile.
“Serenity?” Zone stared at her. “Is something wrong?”
“No. I was just wondering if I should order another batch of Luther's homemade salsa. We're running low. Caleb says it's going to be a big seller in the catalog, by the way.”
Zone sighed. “Please don't misunderstand. I know Caleb has got wonderful plans for your mail order business. And I am personally, very, very grateful to him. He and Blade together probably saved my life. But I'm just not certain Caleb's the right soul mate for you. Even though I like him, I still sense danger in his vicinity.”
“I thought you'd decided you'd gotten his vibrations mixed up with Royce Kincaid's.”
Zone frowned thoughtfully. “It's true that I did, but I have that all sorted out now and things still don't feel quite right. I detect more darkness in Caleb's aura.”
“I'll bear that in mind.”
The phone rang before Zone could continue. Relieved at the excuse to end the conversation, Serenity put down her duster and hurried to answer the summons.
She dodged behind the counter, rounded the corner of the office doorway and grabbed the receiver. “Witt's End Grocery.”
“I wish to speak to Miss Serenity Makepeace.”
There was no mistaking Phyllis's perpetually disapproving tone. Serenity was not in a mood to deal with her. She was, in fact, thoroughly annoyed with the entire Ventress clan today.
Last night she had come to the stunning realization that she may have been the first person in history who had actually said the words “I love you” out loud to Caleb. If it was true, the Ventresses had a lot to answer for as far as she was concerned.
“This is Serenity. What can I do for you, Mrs. Tarrant?”
“I do not appreciate the fact that I am forced to make this call, Miss Makepeace.”
“Well, I'm not real thrilled with having to take it, either, so let's get it over with.”
“Very well, I shall be blunt. I suspect that is the only approach your sort understands. Franklin and I have talked it over. How much do you want?”
Serenity caught her breath. Then she forced a lightness that she was far from feeling into her voice. “How much? Oh, dear. Are you selling something, Mrs. Tarrant? Door-to-door cosmetics, perhaps? I really don't use very much of that kind of stuff, but I suppose I could buy some hand cream or something.”
“Your sarcasm serves no purpose except to waste time. You may as well be as straightforward with me as I am being with you. Just tell me how much money it will take to get you to leave all of us alone.”
“I'm not interested in all of you, only in Caleb.” She probably shouldn't be baiting Phyllis like this, Serenity chided herself. But it was difficult to be polite under the circumstances.
“I am only too well aware of your mercenary interest in Caleb, Miss Makepeace.” Phyllis's voice sharpened with tension and anger. “But your so-called ‘interest’ in him is tearing this family apart.”
“I'm not sure that the glue that holds your family together is very strong in the first place. Raising a boy with the notion that he has to pay for the mistakes of his parents is not a good way of making him feel loved and wanted. It's also not a smart way of ensuring that he develops any real affection for his family.”
“Damn you,” Phyllis snapped. “The private affairs of the Ventress family are none of your concern. We did our best for that ungrateful boy in spite of what his father did to the family.”
“And you never let Caleb forget it for one minute, did you?”
“Caleb was strong-willed, even as a youngster. He needed to be reminded frequently that he must not make the terrible mistake his father made.”
“Fat lot of good it did to keep drumming that into him.”
“I am hoping that Caleb's lapse in judgement regarding you, Miss Makepeace, is merely temporary. I do not wish to discuss it further. Now then, as I said, Franklin and I have discussed the issue of money. Franklin has already paid a total of ten thousand dollars to keep your pictures out of the public eye. We are willing to make it worth your while to disappear from Caleb's life.”
“First blackmail threats and now an offer to buy me off. I'm not sure what to say. I have to tell you, Mrs. Tarrant, where I come from, people don't do things like that. It's considered tacky. Good-bye.”
Serenity slammed down the phone, cutting off Phyllis's outraged yelp. She sat on the edge of the desk, fuming, for several seconds. Then she grabbed the receiver again and dialed information.
“What city?” the operator asked.
“Ventress Valley. I want the number for the home of Roland Ventress.” Serenity waited, afraid that she would be told that the number was unlisted.
It wasn't. She grabbed a pen, jotted it down, then dialed it swiftly.
“Ventress residence.”
“Dolores, is that you? It's me, Serenity Makepeace.”
“Miss Makepeace.” Dolores sounded startled and anxious. “Good heavens, I wasn't expecting to hear from you. I thought it might be Mrs. Tarrant again. Has anything else gone wrong? I've been so worried. It's been pretty dreadful around here.”
Serenity clutched the receiver. “I was calling to see if by any chance Mr. Ventress has made plans to come to dinner tomorrow night.”
There was a short, depressing pause. Dolores sighed. “No, I'm afraid not. At least, he hasn't said anything to me about it.”
“I want you to give him a message, Dolores. Tell him that we're still expecting him. Tell him that he has the power to change the future ju
st by showing up here for dinner tomorrow night. Tell him…oh, heck, I don't know what else to tell him.”
“I wish I could do something to help, Miss Makepeace. This is just so unfortunate. Mr. Ventress is a fine man, but he and his grandson are both too proud for their own good.”
“Too proud.” Serenity slid off the desk and stood beside it, thinking swiftly. “That's it. The one thing the Ventresses have in common is that stubborn pride of theirs.”
“That's a fact.”
“Listen, Dolores, tell Mr. Ventress that Phyllis and Franklin have tried to buy me off and it won't work. Tell him that if he wants to deal with me, he'll have to do it face-to-face over dinner tomorrow night. Tell him he can't hide behind his niece and nephew.”
“Mr. Ventress would never hide behind Mrs. Tarrant and her brother,” Dolores said loyally.
“That's not the way it looks to me,” Serenity said. “I got the distinct impression that he's using them to do his dirty work. Tell him that, Dolores. If he wants to convince me otherwise, he'll have to come here to Witt's End and face me like a man.”
Dolores sighed. “I see what you're trying to do, but it'll never work.”
“It's worth a try. Give Mr. Ventress the message. Oh, and Dolores…?”
“Yes?”
“It's a long drive for a man his age. Do you think—”
“Don't worry,” Dolores said. “If this works, Harry will drive Mr. Ventress to Witt's End.”
“And leave him here overnight?” Serenity added persuasively.
Dolores hesitated. “I think that can be arranged.”
“Good-bye, Dolores. And thanks.”
“Good luck, Miss Makepeace. Lord knows, we're all going to need it.”
Serenity heard the grocery's door bells chime as she replaced the receiver. She ignored them while she contemplated her desperate scheme. There was no denying that her ploy to get Roland to Witt's End was based on a rather lame dare. It didn't stand much chance of working unless Roland just happened to be looking for an excuse to come to dinner in the first place.
Serenity recalled the well-concealed warmth that she had glimpsed once or twice in Roland's eyes when he had looked at Caleb. She could only hope that she had not misread his true feelings toward his grandson.
A movement in the office doorway interrupted her thoughts. She turned around to see a familiar figure attired in a leather jacket, jeans, boots, and Outback hat.
“Oh, no,” she muttered. “Please. Not now.”
“Hey, hey, hey, Serenity love. How's my little redheaded Titania today?” Lloyd swooped through the doorway, grabbed Serenity and enveloped her in a bear hug.
Serenity braced herself against his chest and shoved herself back out of his arms. “What are you doing here, Lloyd?”
“Had a couple more thoughts on how to handle my study of Witt's End. Wanted to go over them with you. I think we can work out a compromise vis-à-vis the mail order catalog project. If you'll just put your plans on hold for a few months, I can get my interviews and observations done.”
“I can't talk to you about your study now, Lloyd, I'm very busy at the moment.”
“This won't take long, love.” Lloyd threw himself down into a chair and propped his boots on her desk. He took off his hat and tossed it onto the desk beside his boots. “All I'm asking is that you listen to my plans.”
“I'm going to have to ask you to leave, Lloyd. I've got too much to do and I have no intention of changing my plans so that you can pursue your stupid study.”
“Listen, Serenity, I've got it figured out. All you have to do is delay your catalog project until next summer.”
“I'm not going to delay it one minute.”
Lloyd's grin vanished. “Serenity, I've got a career riding on this study.”
“The future of Witt's End is riding on my mail order catalog plans.”
“Bullshit.” Lloyd's eyes narrowed. “This is personal, isn't it? It's got nothing to do with the future of Witt's End. You're trying to punish me for what happened six months ago. I never realized you were so vindictive, love.”
Serenity ran her fingers through her hair. “Believe me, I'm not trying to get even for what happened.”
“I don't believe you.” Lloyd smiled with understanding. “You were hurt.”
Serenity glared at him, exasperated. “I was pissed off. Look, we've both agreed that we're not exactly meant for each other.”
“Okay, maybe we weren't meant to hear wedding bells, but we can be colleagues.”
“Colleagues?” Serenity repeated very sweetly. “The way we were colleagues on that paper you published?”
Lloyd's teeth flashed in another disarming grin. “Hey, hey hey. Tell you what. We'll do this study of Witt's End together. I'll put your name on the paper as co-author. How does that grab you?”
“It doesn't. Even if I was inclined to help you, Lloyd, I have to be honest and say up front that I don't believe for one minute that you'd put my name alongside yours on any paper you got published.”
“Well, truth is, a grocery store owner wouldn't have much credibility with the editor of a major academic journal, but I'll acknowledge your assistance in the notes. How's that?”
“Gee, Lloyd, that's a really dazzling prospect.” Serenity drummed her fingers on the back of her chair. “If I had publishing ambitions, that is. Which I don't. And if I was willing to postpone my plans for Witt's End, which I'm not. All things considered, I'm not going to be able to be of much assistance to you.”
“You don't mean that.” Lloyd gave her his most winning smile, mouth curved with just the right laconic twist, eyes lit with an intimate, knowing gleam. “You'll do it for me, love. For old times' sake.”
She batted her lashes. “Old times' sake? You've got to be kidding.”
Lloyd's smile tightened. “Serenity, I'm going to level with you. I've got too much riding on a study of Witt's End to let you get in my way. One way or another, I'm going to get a paper out of this dipshit little town.”
“So do your study. I'm not stopping you.”
“Damn it, I need the cooperation of the natives, and we both know I won't get it unless you talk them into giving it to me.”
Zone floated into the doorway and cleared her throat gently. She put her palms together and looked straight at Serenity. “Your fiancé is here.”
Serenity gazed blankly at her. “My what?”
Lloyd was a bit faster on the uptake.
“Fiancé.” His booted feet came down off her desk and hit the floor with a crash. “What the hell are you talking about? Serenity, you're not thinking of getting married, are you? You can't possibly be engaged. You can't do this to me.”
“Fiancé?” Serenity repeated slowly. “I never thought of it quite like that.”
“You'll have to excuse her, Radburn.” Caleb eased Zone out of the doorway so that he could fill the opening himself. He did a thorough job of it. “Serenity's still getting accustomed to the idea. Marriage is kind of a novel concept around here.”
Lloyd gaped at Caleb and then rounded on Serenity. “Is this guy serious?”
“About getting married?” Serenity glanced at Caleb. The dangerous expression in his eyes made her distinctly uneasy. “Uh, yes. Yes, as a matter of fact, he is.”
Caleb braced one hand against the doorjamb. “Real serious.”
“You can't do this to me!” Lloyd howled.
Serenity blushed furiously. She was not accustomed to being argued over by two virile males. It was rather flattering. “Lloyd, don't you think you're overreacting just a tad?”
“Overreacting?” Lloyd echoed in thundering disbelief. “Overreacting?
“As in going bonkers,” Caleb clarified. “Falling out of your tree. Going nutso.”
Serenity shushed him with a repressive little movement of her hand. She smiled gently at Lloyd. “I didn't realize you felt that strongly about our relationship, Lloyd. I'm touched. But we both know that we would never have made a suc
cess of a long-term, committed relationship, even if we didn't have that unpleasant business of six months ago between us.”
“Damn it, I'm not talking about our relationship,” Lloyd shouted, “I'm talking about my fieldwork. My paper. My career, for crying out loud. You can't get married, Serenity.”
“I can't?”
“She can't?” Caleb asked with one dangerously arched brow.
“It will ruin everything.” Lloyd looked acutely desperate now. “It will cause even more damage to the existing social structure of Witt's End than your mail order catalog business.”
“I don't believe this,” Caleb muttered.
“I don't see how my marriage will destroy the world as we know it in Witt's End,” Serenity said stiffly.
“Don't you understand?” Lloyd yelped. “Getting married is too damn normal for you.”
Serenity blinked. “Too normal?”
Lloyd began to pace the tiny office. “I've explained to you that the beauty of Witt's End is that it functions very much like a frontier town, complete with its own legends and customs. And you're the most important part of the local scene. You're the heart and soul of Witt's End, a legend that's being created even as we speak. Don't you get it?”
“No, I don't.” Serenity scowled. “Lloyd, you're getting carried away with your academic analogies.”
“The hell I am. You're the magic princess of Witt's End,” Lloyd insisted. “The fairy in their midst, the sacrificial maiden.”
“Sacrificial maiden?” Serenity stared at him.
“As far as the locals are concerned, you came to them from out of nowhere. Your origins are cloaked in mystery, just like the origins of any good myth.”
“For heaven's sake, Lloyd, that's ridiculous.”
“Think about it,” Lloyd urged. “It's so damn primitive, it's incredible. You were seen as someone special, someone important, right from the start. You were raised by the tribal elders. Educated in the ways of the community's arcane lore.”
“Arcane lore.” Serenity couldn't believe her ears.
“Initiated into ancient mysteries…” Lloyd continued.
Serenity held up a hand to stop him. “Hold it right there. This nonsense has something to do with your curiosity about those hot springs, doesn't it? How many times have I told you, there's nothing to that old legend about vision pools.”