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Chapter 3
Ashton
I watched as my parents’ mini-van backed out of the driveway before picking up my phone and texting Beau.
Me: Would u like to come watch a movie at my house?
My heart started racing in my chest. What was I doing? I’d already blurred the lines today at the hole. I should have never talked with Beau about secret desires. But just thinking about the intense gleam in his eyes as I’d explained what I wanted to experience made my body flush with excitement.
Beau: Ur parents?
He knew my parents well enough to know they would never be okay with me spending time with him. I hated how everyone assumed the worst about Beau. Just because his momma was trash didn’t mean he was. He had the same blood in him that Sawyer did.
Me: Out of town 2night
My dad had planned a surprise weekend getaway for my parents’ anniversary. I’d known about it for a week, but he’d just told my mom this afternoon. They were both safely on the road to Birmingham now.
My phone rang, startling me so badly I dropped it. Scrambling to pick it up, I worried it may be Sawyer. I’d never be able to keep the guilt out of my voice if I had to talk to him.
It was Beau.
“Hello,” I said.
“I’ll leave my truck at the park and walk to your house through the woods. Leave the back door unlocked. ”
He didn’t want anyone to see his truck here. I knew it was for my benefit. It was probably best he didn’t park outside my house. He was just my friend but . . . he was also a boy. A bad boy. Ashton Gray doesn’t have boys over while her parents are away.
“Okay, if that’s what you want to do. ”
“It is. ” His deep voice made me feel all tingly inside.
“I’ll see you in a little while then,” I replied.
“Yeah,” he said before he hung up. I stared down at the phone; I was torn between excitement and fear. I was going to get to spend more time alone with Beau. I’d missed him. Being able to be honest with someone was nice. I didn’t have to pretend. Then there was also the fact I liked the way his eyes sent shivers over my body as he stared at me. There was something wicked about Beau that drew me to him. What was wrong with me? Why did I want to sin so badly?
I dropped the phone on my bed and headed for the shower. I wouldn’t think about the rule I was breaking. This wasn’t anything bad. It was a small rule if you thought about rules in general. I mean, there were bigger rules I could break. Besides, I needed to break some rules before I went crazy.
A light knock on the back door sent the butterflies flapping around in my stomach into a frenzy. I heard the latch in the door as it opened and closed. I quickly slipped on a white eyelet sundress. After trying on several other more casual outfits I’d decided I wanted to look nicer. The sundress was short with spaghetti straps so it looked casual enough for a movie night, maybe . . . sort of. I studied my bare feet. I’d just painted my toes cotton candy pink and decided to stay barefoot. Even more casual.
I headed down the hall to greet my guest. The oxygen entering my lungs stalled when I saw Beau standing in the kitchen. Black had always looked good on him but having him stand in my kitchen in a tight black T-shirt and a pair of low-riding jeans made me a little dizzy. It dawned on me I was holding my breath.
“Hey,” I managed to say, mentally cringing at the breathless sound in my voice.
He nodded and gave me a small smile before walking over to the fridge and opening it. “I’m thirsty. Can I have a Coke?” he asked without looking back at me.
“Um, yeah, sure. I ordered pizza too. It should be here in a few minutes. If you’re hungry. ”
He closed the fridge door and opened the can of Coke in his hand then took a swig.
“I’m always hungry,” he replied.
“Okay, good. ” I didn’t know what else to say. I’d invited Beau to my house to watch a movie. Now he was here in all his mouth-watering glory and I didn’t know what to say. He walked toward me, grinning.
“Relax, Ash. It’s just me. ” He nodded his head toward the living room. “Let’s go see what kind of movie selection you’ve got these days. ”
Swallowing nervously, I turned and headed to the living room. This was a bad idea. I was acting like an idiot. This wasn’t the way friends acted. If I wanted him to be my friend I needed to start acting like one and not a love-struck moron.
“I rented two movies from the Red Box. If you don’t like either, you can pick from the ones I have in my room but I’m warning you now they are mostly romantic comedies. The ones I rented are probably more your speed. ”
I kept my back to him because my cheeks were getting warm and I hated the idea of him seeing me blush. I was being so silly. I reached for the two action movies I’d rented and started to turn around to show him when he moved in behind me. I froze. My body went on high alert and I took several gulps of air.
“Let me see. ” His mouth was surprisingly close to my ear. Then his arm reached around me and he snatched the movies from my grasp. When our hands brushed, I sucked in a quick breath. For a second he paused then moved away quickly. My crazy behavior had to be making him uncomfortable.
“Good choice. I’ve been wanting to see both of these but Nicole and I don’t normally watch movies. ”
Nicole’s name sounded like a reminder for me.
I pivoted around on the balls of my feet. “Okay, good. Well, pick one and put it in. I’m going to go get my money before the pizza gets here. ”
But first I am going to splash cold water on my face and calm down. I didn’t wait for his response before I fled the room.
The doorbell rang while I was shuffling through my purse for money. The delivery guy would probably be someone from school. Beau answering the door didn’t sound like the best idea. I rushed out of my bedroom door and came face to face with Beau. Or more accurately, face to chest. A very yummy-smelling chest. I closed my eyes tightly and took a deep breath.
“I’ll wait here while you pay,” he said in a low whisper. I nodded and stepped around him.
The moment I opened the door I was instantly relieved Beau was hiding. It was a starting lineman on the football team, Jimmy Noles.
“How’s it going, Ashton?” Jimmy asked, smiling.
“Um, good, thanks. ”
“I guess you’re missing Sawyer. ”
I nodded. “Yes, I am. ” I handed him the money. “Keep the change and thanks. ”
His grin got bigger. “Cool, thanks Ashton. See ya around. ”
I returned his smile and closed the door.
Beau stepped out of the hallway. “That smells good. ”
It did smell good but I doubted I could actually eat. Beau took the box out of my hand and walked over to the couch and set it down on the coffee table.
“I’ll get some paper plates,” I said, wishing I didn’t sound so nervous.
He started opening the box. “Don’t get one for me but a paper towel would be good. ”
Beau managed to eat most of the pizza before I forced down one slice. I’m glad he didn’t feel awkward by my crazy behavior. He leaned back on the sofa with his eyes on the movie after wiping his hands on the paper towel. I sat my plate down on a stack of Garden and Gun magazines my dad kept on the coffee table.
“I left you two more pieces. You can’t be full. ”
I glanced over at him. “You mean you didn’t stop eating because you were full?”
He shook his head. “No, I was being considerate. I’m never full. ”
I leaned back on the sofa. “Eat all you want, I’m done. ”
He didn’t lean forward to grab another slice like I expected him to. Instead his attention stayed on me.
“Why did you invite me here tonight, Ash?”
My face flushed. Why had I asked him to come? Answering that question wasn’t easy. Since he’d walked in the door I’d been acting ridiculous. I never s
eemed to be at a loss of things to say with Sawyer. Beau rattled me. Now, he was being bored to death by the preacher’s daughter while he could be with his sexy hot girlfriend doing all those things I knew nothing about. I was depriving him of an exciting evening. The idea that he’d come tonight to entertain me for his cousin’s sake made me feel awful. He’d been doing me a charity and I couldn’t even make it interesting for him. Well, at least I’d fed him.
“I’m sorry. I guess, I just didn’t want to be alone, but I’m okay. You can go. I know this is dull compared to your normal activities. ” I managed a weak smile.
His frown deepened as he leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, but he didn’t take his eyes off me.
“Being with you isn’t dull. You just seem uncomfortable. If you want me to leave I will. I have a feeling you’re rethinking the having-me-over thing. ”
I sighed and let out a small laugh.
“No. I want you to stay. I’ve just never had any guy over here but Sawyer and even then my parents were here. I’m nervous. It’s not that I don’t want you here. ”
“Why do I make you nervous?” he asked, watching me.
“I don’t know,” I answered truthfully.
“Hmm. You’re wrong, by the way,” he replied, grinning.
“What?”
“You’ve had other guys here. I used to come here often. Your room still looks the same. ”
I smiled. He was right. I just needed to remember this was the same boy who used to lay on my bed with me and watch movies.
He closed the space between us and relaxed as he stretched his arm along the back of the sofa. “I don’t bite, Ash. It’s just me. Promise. Come here and see. ”
I studied the crook of his arm, and the idea of snuggling up against him was extremely tempting. But I didn’t think he had that in mind. So instead, I leaned back on the couch, careful not to touch him.
His hand didn’t come around me and pull me closer. It remained on the back of the couch and I hated that I was disappointed.
“Relax and watch the movie,” he said in a soft voice I’d never heard him use before. It made me feel warm and safe.
Beau’s arm eventually slid down to settle on my shoulders. Absently he started tracing small circles on my upper arm. It was almost as if little jolts of electricity were zinging through my body. I hoped he couldn’t tell my breathing was getting erratic. I closed my eyes and fantasized about how it would feel to run my hands under his T-shirt and touch the soft skin that covered his hard chest. I glanced up at him through my lashes and his attention was completely focused on the movie. He had no idea he was driving me crazy.
I slowly moved closer to him until my head was nestled in the crook of his arm. The smell of Irish Spring soap and the outdoors filled my senses. Sawyer always smelled like cologne. I liked soap. I turned my head just enough so I could smell him better. His arm gently tightened around me. He didn’t mean anything by it but it felt so very good. I turned my body toward his side and closed my eyes. My imagination took over and I wondered what it would feel like if he didn’t have this bothersome shirt covering up his chest.
“Ash. ” Beau’s voice entered my fantasy.
“Hmm . . . ” I managed to respond as my hand touched his abs.
“What’re you doing?” His voice didn’t sound right. There was a panicked tone to it that snapped me out of my dream and into reality. I gasped when I realized my leg was hiked up on Beau’s thigh. The hem of my sundress was barely covering my panties. To make matters worse my hand was under his black shirt and his skin felt so warm and soft. The soft circular patterns on my arm had stopped and his hand was no longer touching me. Horror washed over me and I jerked my hand out of his shirt and sat up.
“Oh my God,” I blurted out. “I’m sorry . . . I didn’t mean . . . I’m sorry. ” I couldn’t look at him. Not after I’d been all over him! Instead, I did the only thing I could think of. I ran for my room.
I pushed the door hard enough to slam it but the loud crack never came.
“Ash, wait. ” Beau’s voice made me cringe. Oh God, WHY did he have to follow me? Couldn’t he have just left?
I couldn’t face him.
“I’m sorry. Just . . . go, okay?”
I crossed my arms and stared hard at the window, waiting for him to leave. His arms wrapped around me from behind and I whimpered as the humiliation just got worse. He was going to try to comfort me.
“I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours but from the way you’re acting I can imagine it’s pretty bad. ” He lowered his head to my shoulder. “You want me to leave and I’m going to go. But first I want to make sure you understand something. ”
My throat was tight and tears clogged my airway. Responding wasn’t possible.
“I started that in there. Not you. I wasn’t prepared for the reaction I got. I thought you’d push me away, not . . . snuggle closer. ” He stopped again and his breath was warm on my neck before his lips touched my bare shoulder. I shivered and his hands ran down my arms until they covered mine. “I shouldn’t have touched you. But I couldn’t help myself,” he murmured against my ear.
I wanted to argue. It wasn’t his fault. I wanted to tell him I was the one who got carried away. But I couldn’t manage more than just a small snivel. “I can’t do this, Ash. God knows I want to but I can’t,” and then he was gone. I turned to see him walking out of my door. More than anything I wanted to call him back, but I didn’t.