Julian lowered Rose onto his bed. She’d been drifting in and out of consciousness while he carried her to the house. He’d begged her to drink from him, pushing her mouth to his throat as he hauled ass to get her to a safe place but…
Her fangs hadn’t come out.
“It’s okay, love,” he said, hating the fact that his voice came out so rough and ragged, as if everything was very much not okay. “I’ll take care of you.” He slashed open his wrist and forced her to take his blood. It had worked before. It would work again.
The blood dripped into her mouth. Julian massaged her throat, forcing her to swallow. But…
Her body seemed to be getting warmer to the touch. Too warm. As if she were feverish.
“Drink, Rose. Drink for me.”
A hard hand closed around his shoulder. “She can’t.” Luke’s voice. Sounding sad. Luke was never sad. He didn’t have time for emotions.
Julian didn’t look back at him. “This happened before. She bit your asshole of a brother once before, and I gave her my blood and everything was fine.” Her cheeks were flushed. Not just her cheeks. Her neck, her collarbone. Her arms.
“She’s burning up, from the inside out.” Again, Luke’s voice was sad. “It won’t matter how much blood you give her. My brother wasn’t lying. His blood is poison to vamps. She…didn’t really survive the first time.”
What? That was bullshit, of course she’d survived.
“The first time she had his blood, the poison got in her body.”
Julian kept his hand to her mouth. “And I gave her my blood. I diluted that tainted crap of his. She came back fine.”
“The poison stayed in her body, but it was dormant, waiting for another exposure. That’s how it works. One bite to begin, one bite to end.”
What?
“Her heart is going to burn up. She’ll burn in front of you. You should…step back. Let her go.”
Dazed, Julian couldn’t move at all.
“Fuck,” Rayce swore from the corner of the room. “I’m so sorry, man.”
No, this wasn’t happening.
He stared down at Rose. Her hair was spread on the pillows behind her head. It just looked as if she were sleeping. And he remembered another time…
Rose had been lying in a bed, blood on her body. She’d been so still. But she hadn’t been warm to the touch. She’d been ice cold and he’d known he was losing her.
So he’d turned to Luke Thorne, and he’d made a deal. “Bring her back, Luke. Change her. She can’t die.”
The memories swirled through his mind.
“She’s already gone.” Luke had stared at him with no expression on his hard face. “Mourn the dead, and move on.”
He’d hit Luke then. Punched him. Clawed at him. And Luke had just taken the blows. “I can’t lose her! She’s the first thing in my life that matters—don’t take her! Don’t let anyone take her!” And he’d been lost—lost to a fury and pain that had sent him out of control. He’d destroyed that room. Slashing the walls. Breaking the furniture. Turning his claws on himself…
My fault. I did this to her. My fault. Mine…
Luke had grabbed his hands. Julian’s claws had been buried in his own chest.
“Why are you doing this?” Luke asked him.
“Because I should die. She should live.” Simple. So simple…And if she didn’t live…then he was ready to die.
“You…love her? You fell in love with a human, knowing it was forbidden?”
One of Luke’s laws. “I fell in love with her…” He stared unflinchingly at the most powerful dark paranormal being in the world. “Because I couldn’t stop myself. She owns me. Owns me. And I can’t just let her die!”
Luke stared back at him. “Too late, my friend. She’s gone.”
He’d grabbed Luke by the shirt-front, his claws tearing into him. “Make me a deal. You make deals with everyone else. Give her life back. Help me.”
“I can’t,” Luke gritted in response. “To bring someone back from the dead? That would deplete my power. My enemies would close in. I would be done. The dark would fall.”
“I will take care of your enemies.”
Luke’s gaze had hardened. “Be careful what you say.”
Rose was still and cold on the bed. “I will hunt your enemies down. You know I’m the best hunter out there. You keep her in this world—”
“It’s not keeping her here. It’s bringing her back. And believe me, there would be a heavy price for that. Both for me…and for you.”
“I don’t care about the price. I care about her. Only her. And I’ll do anything…”
Then the deal had been set. Rose had come back.
“I tried to do the right thing,” Julian rasped. His hand slowly lowered from her mouth. His blood had dripped down her chin. Steam seemed to rise from her body. “I was sending her away, trying to make her leave because I knew I was bad for her. I hurt the ones close to me, and no one has ever been closer than her.”
Rayce cleared his throat. “Buddy, um, I think we should walk out now. There are some memories that you don’t want to have. And your lady burning? You don’t want to carry that memory.”
His head turned so that he was staring at the wolf. “Do you think I would ever let her die alone?”
Rayce’s jaw hardened.
No, dying alone wouldn’t happen.
He used his claws to cut his wrist even deeper. “I just have to give her more blood. It worked before. It will work again.”
“No,” Luke told him. “I’m so fucking sorry, but it won’t. My brother was made to be my opposite. His blood can destroy dark paranormals just as mine…mine destroys the light. We’ve both always known we were poison.”
Mine destroys the light.
In a flash, Julian jumped off the bed. He grabbed Luke and slashed his claws across the guy’s forearm.
The whole room seemed to shake—actually, it did shake. Luke’s fury blasted against him. “What the fuck are you doing?”
Trying to save her! “Give her your blood. If he’s poison to her, then you could be the cure. Give her your blood.”
But Luke didn’t move. “Do you have any idea what you’re asking?”
“I’m asking for you to help the woman I love.” Because I’m breaking apart without her.
“My blood…you don’t know what it will do to her.”
Julian looked back at the bed and his heart nearly stopped. “She’s dying already. What could be worse?”
“She could come back…wrong.”
What?
“You think I haven’t already considered giving her my blood?” Luke shook his head. “But I don’t know what will happen if I do. My blood…Leo’s blood…all in one person? That much power? Light and dark trapped together? She could wake up and want only death for everyone around her. Or she could wake up…and think that monsters like you and me—the dark ones—that we need to be eradicated. She could be the instrument of our destruction. The being who takes us out. I don’t know what she’ll become.”
“I know what she’ll be.” His shoulders straightened. “Because it’s what she’s always been, vampire or human. She’s no killing machine. She’s not evil. She’s not twisted. She won’t ever be. You give her the blood, and she’ll just be stronger. When bad things come her way, she just keeps growing stronger.”
Luke studied him with worried eyes. “And you think that’s not dangerous?”
“She’ll be on our side,” he promised. Help her!
“How do you know that?”
And despite everything, Julian managed to smile. “She chose me.” She chose life. “And I chose her. She’ll come back strong and she’ll come back right.”
“If she doesn’t, will you be the one to put her down?”
The question seemed to echo around him.
And he didn’t speak.
“That’s what I thought,” Luke said softly. “You love her, you can’t kill her, but if something goes wrong,
I’m supposed to just let her roam around attacking people? You know I can’t do that. And you’re the one I send when the dark ones go rogue. If you can’t handle her, then what will I do?”
Did Luke really think he was going to promise to kill Rose?
“She’s your weakness. You think I don’t understand?” Luke sighed. “I do. But I have to look out for more than just you. She could be too strong. She could be—”
“She’s dying.” And he couldn’t just do nothing. “This is Rose. Rose. She’s always been good. She never—not once—killed anyone when she was a vampire.”
Luke’s lips twitched. “She used to get so nervous before drinking that she’d nearly faint. A vampire, fainting at the thought of taking blood.”
“She hates using compulsions,” Julian continued, frantic. “Because Rose doesn’t like to control anyone. She wants people to have a choice. She chose to live this time. She was fighting for the angel. Fuck, she helped an angel. Doesn’t that prove she’ll never go so dark that she loses touch and hurts everyone?”
Luke’s gaze drifted to the bed. “The angel will owe her…”
“Right, yes, fine, the angel owes her. The angel can pay her back…if you help Rose.”
“The angel can kill her.”
Julian stiffened. “What?”
“Angels are so much stronger than you realize. If your lady goes rogue, the angel can kill her. She can pay the debt back that way.” He nodded. “Fine. Done deal.”
No, nothing was done. The angel would not kill Rose. She’d have to rip him apart first.
Luke paced toward the bed. He put his hand over Rose’s mouth.
“Uh, yes, so glad we worked all that out.” Rayce crept forward and the floor groaned beneath his feet. “But how are you going to make her drink? She’s nearly gone…”
“Don’t forget, I hold dominion over the dark.” Luke was his confident self once more. “And there’s enough of her still in that bed to hear me. Rose…Rose, drink my blood.”
He dripped the blood into her mouth.
Julian wasn’t so sure that she could hear him, so he rubbed her throat, trying desperately to make her swallow…and she did.
Luke gave her more blood. She took it, but her eyes didn’t open. And her skin was still too hot. “She’s not getting better!”
Luke gave her more. Julian smoothed her hair away from her forehead. “Keep giving her—”
Her eyelashes fluttered. “No…more.”
Luke immediately drew back.
Her breath whispered out and her gaze swung toward Julian. “I’m…okay?”
No, she was still hell hot and shaking. She was still terrifying him. But he smiled at her. “Of course. You’re better than ever.” Then he looked back at Luke and Rayce. “You two, get the hell out.”
Because if something happened, if something went wrong as Luke had suggested, Julian would be there for her. He wouldn’t leave her again. They’d face what came together, and he would sure as hell never be dumb enough to try and make her leave him.
The others filed out. The door shut behind them.
“So…hot…” Rose whispered.
He scooped her into his arms and strode into the bathroom. He yanked on the cold water and sent it exploding down as he stepped into the shower, still cradling her in his arms.
Steam rose when it hit her skin.
Just like before.
“Drink, love, drink from me.” His blood could dilute what she’d gotten from Leo, from Luke…his blood could link them.
Her fangs pressed to his neck. A tender bite. Her tongue slid over his skin. And she drank.
They stood like that, in the shower, the water pouring down on him, her fangs in his throat, his arms around her…for an endless time. He didn’t move. He was just happy to have her there with him. Alive.
Rose.
And…
Her fangs slid away from his neck. She kissed his throat. “Don’t worry. An angel isn’t going to have to…put me down.”
He blinked, then looked at her.
She smiled up at him. The steam didn’t rise from her skin any longer. She wasn’t flushed. She was perfect. “And you don’t have to kill me either.”
“I never would.”
Her eyes were bright. “I’m not wrong. I don’t want to kill and maim everyone.”
She was okay. His Rose was staring at him with her sweet smile and with love in her eyes. He had to choke down the lump in his throat. “That’s…that’s good to know.”
Her smile stretched. “I’m okay?” This time, it was a question.
“You’re better than okay.” He kissed her. Deep. Hard. Wild. His heart was about to burst out of his chest and he was just so—
Happy.
Yeah, that was what he fucking was. He was happy. Rose had always made him happy.
Her tongue slid against his lip. She kissed him back with the same passionate intensity and in the next moment, Julian was jerking off her jeans. He shoved her jeans to the bottom of the shower and ripped away her panties.
“Tell me to slow down,” he begged because he knew he was going too fast. Too fast. Too rough. Too wild.
She laughed—the sweetest sound in the world—and her hands reached for the top of his jeans. “Don’t you dare.”
He stilled and stared into her eyes.
“I almost lost you. I almost lost us both,” she whispered. “And you think I want to go slow now?” She rose onto her tip toes and nipped his bottom lip. “Not on your life, panther.”
She still owns my heart. She always will.
She lowered the zipper of his jeans. He lifted her up against that shower wall. The water was ice cold, but he didn’t care. He had his whole world in his arms.
He thrust into her. They both groaned. She was tight and wet and so perfect…
His.
He withdrew, then thrust deep. Again and again and he stroked her clit, wanting to push her to the edge before he came. He wanted her lost to the pleasure. To feel. To love.
She cried out his name. He felt her sex clench around him, and he pumped even harder into her.
Then he exploded within her. A long, hot release as his body shuddered.
Her arms were around him. She held him tight.
As tightly as he held her.
The cold water kept falling onto them. He forced his head to lift. He should move them. Get her dry. Get her warm.
But instead, he kissed her. He’d always loved her mouth.
And when he pulled back, she was smiling at him.
The most beautiful woman in the world…the woman who’d gone through hell and come back…was smiling at him and staring at him as if…
As if I’m not a monster.
“Tell me you love me,” Rose whispered.
“I love you.” He’d tell her that a thousand times. A million. Every day for the rest of their very long lives. Because maybe…when he’d first got Rose to come back as a vampire…maybe he’d made a secondary deal with Luke.
I wanted to always be around to protect her. To be there, whenever she needed me.
And Luke had given him that extended life…for a price.
There is always a price with him.
Luke’s words whispered through his mind. As long as you walk the earth, you’ll swear to stand at my side. When the battle comes between me and Leo…you will stand with me.
He’d already planned that particular stand, so agreeing hadn’t been exactly hard for him.
“I’m not…wrong,” she said. But then he saw fear flicker in her eyes. “Am I?”
He kissed her again. “No. You are the only right thing in my world.” He believed that to the depths of his soul.
Her smile flashed again. The fear vanished.
“But, love, do me a favor, okay? Promise me…” He turned off the blast of cold water with a flip of his wrist. “Don’t ever drink from Leo or Luke again.”
“I promise.”
He lifted her into his arm
s again. He loved to hold her. He just fucking loved her. Julian gazed into her eyes.
“Julian? Are you sure…I…is something wrong?”
“No, it’s right.” Finally. The guilt was gone. The fear was gone. For them both. They’d chosen…each of them. And they’d chosen life.
Love.
She curled her arms around his neck. “Take me to bed. I’ve really had one hell of a day.”
Laughter came from him. Laughter…after everything. Only Rose could make him feel that way.
“If you think today was interesting…just wait until you see what our nights will be like.” His lips pressed to hers. The kiss wasn’t rough or wild. It was sweet. Tender.
“Promises, promises…” Her voice was a husky temptation.
But… “Yes.” He nodded once. “I do have promises. I promise, I will love you forever. I promise…I will never let go.”
Her breath sighed out. “I’ll hold you to that.”
And he’d hold her. Forever.
Chapter Nineteen
Two weeks later…
“You know everything about me.” Julian’s voice was deep and dark and it made Rose want to shiver. They stood on the balcony, the ocean pounding against the beach below them, and she knew she was in heaven. “The good and the bad. The dark sins that stain my soul.”
“I rather like your soul.” Her hand reached up and curved along his jaw. The rough stubble slid over her palm. “Because I love you.”
“You don’t see a monster, do you?”
Rose shook her head. “I only see you.”
“Maybe I should have stayed away from you…”
“You most definitely should not have.” The pain, the fear—it had all been worth it. Wasn’t love worth fighting for? Especially a love that was going to last forever.
“I saw you and I knew my world would change.”
She had to look away from him for a moment. This talk…it was so much like the one they’d had—a lifetime ago. When a panther shifter had tried to convince a human that monsters were real.
And then death had come.
“I saw you, and I knew what I’d always been missing. For the first time, I felt complete.”
That was sweet. Her gaze slid back to him. Her big, bad panther…and he was standing before her, exposing his soul.