He needed to let her know tonight how he really felt. He needed her to be aware that he wasn’t aiming to make her anything other than a permanent part of his life. The thought that she would not want to hear it terrified him.
All of a sudden, everyone stood, and the music continued to play as Magdalena O’Donnell and her father made their grand entrance.
Josh had to admit that as he watched her move closer down the aisle to Mason, who was now watching his bride with a look that was complete and utter adoration, he could one-hundred percent appreciate the reasons for getting married.
The woman who was walking toward her groom wasn’t the Lena they all knew and loved. This was a woman who was radiating so much happiness and love as she made her way toward her man that it was like they were all seeing her for the first time. Her gaze never left Mason’s as she moved closer, and the complete unfettered love in her eyes was absolutely mesmerizing.
When she finally reached Mason, Josh watched as his usually smooth-talking friend just stood and stared at the woman in front of him. Her father let go of her hand, and Lena finally smiled up at her fiancé, greeting him softly.
“Hi.”
Josh chuckled, and so did the rest of the crowd behind them.
Mason shook his head, and then blinked once. “Hi.”
Finally, the pastor made a little coughing sound and stated, “If everyone could please be seated, we’ll begin.”
Josh heard all the chairs shuffle and watched as everyone took their seats. He turned toward Rachel and Shelly and smiled at them both. Shelly gave him a radiant one in response, and Rachel smiled, but it felt strained.
Josh then turned back to face the bride and groom who stood before the pastor. Just behind the pastor, a small table held a beautiful spray of tulips and an equally impressive vase of sunflowers, each representing the people in their lives that could not be here.
“Dearly Beloved. We are gathered here in the presence of God and this company so that Magdalena O’Donnell and Mason Langley may be united in holy matrimony,” the pastor began.
Josh watched as Lena looked up at Mason and gave him a shy smile. His friend must have winked or done something equally as smooth because she ducked her head bashfully and blushed a little.
Yep, Mason has his groove back now that he has Lena in his sights.
“Who here gives this woman to this man?”
That was when Lena’s father stated, “Her mother and I do with our deepest blessing.”
Mason turned and looked at his new father-in-law. “Thank you. I’ll take care of her.”
“We know, son,” he told Mason and then sat down.
The crowd went quiet as the pastor announced, “The bride and groom have opted to say their own vows over those traditional ones we all know. So, when you’re ready, Mason.”
Josh watched as Mason reached across to take Lena’s hands in his own.
Lena wasn’t wearing a veil, and her hair had been pulled back into a sweeping side bun that was elegantly pinned at her neck. As she looked up at her husband-to-be, Josh thought she was probably one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen, not including, of course, the woman just beyond her right shoulder.
“When I first sat down to write these vows, I had no idea how I was going to explain just how much I love you, Lena. Life isn’t easy, and anyone who tells you it is, well they’re lying. Life is hard. It gives you good times, and it gives you extremely bad times. You and I have had our share of both. We’ve each struggled through pain and loss individually, and then just last year, we struggled again—together. To me, that is what life is all about. It’s about finding someone—you, Lena—to help me when I need it the most. To guide me out of my darkest moments and to bask with me in the lightest ones.” Mason paused, and Josh watched as a tear slid down Lena’s cheek. “My mother loved you very much, and I know that she is sitting up there front and center, watching this wedding with the biggest smile on her face.”
Josh heard several quiet sniffles in the background. Behind Shelly, who was gently wiping a tear away from her cheek, Rachel stood clutching her flowers with tears falling gently down her face. She seemed immobilized as Mason ended his vows.
Mason continued, “You walked into my life, and now, I never want to walk alone again. Magdalena O’Donnell, will you marry me and make me the happiest man on the planet?”
A pin could have dropped,reverberating noise throughout the room. It was that quiet.
Then, Lena began.
***
Shelly watched through blurred eyes as her friend gripped Mason’s hands and started her own vows. Although, how she could manage after Mason’s was a miracle. Shelly didn’t think there was a dry eye in the place.
“I would marry you every single hour of every single day for the rest of my life. Before you, I didn’t know how to live. Oh, I went through the motions of having a life, but it was all for show. I was broken in here,” Lena told him and raised one of Mason’s large palms to her heart.
She held onto one of his hands and kept the other one pressed close to her chest. She took a step closer and looked up at him.
“You have given me so much I can’t even begin to express how deeply my love runs for you. Your strength and sensitivity, your complete love of your family, and your absolute perseverance and stubbornness are just some of the many things I love and adore about you, Langley. You taught me how to accept things I never could have without you, how to forgive myself, and give permission to my heart to open up and love again. Your happiness and joy of life is so strong that it left me no other option but to let you in to warm up my soul, which had been cold for so long.” Lena paused, and then firmly and loudly said, “I would be honored to marry you, Mason Langley. Will you please marry me?”
Shelly watched as Mason tugged Lena forward, and she was pretty sure only those standing up close to them heard him whisper.
“Just try and stop me.”
Then, he laid the sweetest, most passionate kiss Shelly had ever witnessed on his bride.
***
Three-and-a-half hours later, the reception was in full swing. There had been photos upon photos and so much food had been eaten that Josh felt like he was going to explode. He’d hardly had one moment to himself all night, and he certainly hadn’t had a chance to talk with Shelly.
Every time he turned around, she was off getting another photo with the bride. Then, when he thought he could finally catch her, Lena’s parents had started talking to her, or someone from their work had pulled her aside. He was starting to think that he wouldn’t get the opportunity he so desperately craved.
Glancing around the reception area, Josh saw Shelly near the makeshift bar. Standing, Josh was about to make his way to her when he saw Rachel sitting at her table by herself, watching everyone dance.
He had seen Mason chat with her and pull her into several dances. Rachel had smiled and moved to the music with ease, but there was something off. Josh headed toward her table, finally deciding to find out what it was.
“Hey there,” he said as he pulled the chair out beside her.
Rachel looked over to him and smiled. “Hey, Josh. Nice night, huh?”
Josh relaxed into his chair. “I’ll say. Have you ever seen a couple so stupid over each other?” he said, hoping to get a laugh from her.
However, instead of the usual burst of joy he would get from Rachel with the colored hair, he got a small grin from the new Rachel with the black hair.
“They seem very happy,” she told him.
Josh leaned toward her, reaching out a hand to touch her shoulder. She looked over at him, and Josh couldn’t help but see the raw emotion that was welling in her eyes.
“You don’t,” he whispered.
“I don’t what?”
“You don’t look happy,” he explained quietly. “In fact, every time I see you I feel as though you look sadder.” Josh watched as she straightened her spine and blinked her eyes, trying to hold back the mo
isture forming there. “What’s going on, Rach? You haven’t been yourself lately.”
She shook her head, smiling sadly at him. “It’s nothing to worry about. I think I’m just a little out of whack. Not having Mom and Dad here today was just hard.”
Josh thought that might have been some of the issue at hand, but for some reason, he felt it went much deeper than that. Obviously, she didn’t want to discuss it right now, so he squeezed her arm and assured her, “You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
Rachel nodded but kept her mouth taut with tension. “Man-Eater is looking over here. I’m pretty sure she wants to get her hands on you.”
Josh chuckled, looking over his shoulder.
Shelly was indeed staring across the room at them. Looking at his watch, Josh nodded and told Rachel, “I think I’ve got time for one more dance.”
Rachel smirked then. “Before what? You turn into a pumpkin?”
Josh stood and shook his head. “No. Before I hit the road.”
Rachel tried for a full grin but once again failed. This sad version of her was worrying Josh a lot.
“Drive safely, okay? And, Josh, thank you.”
“Anytime, Rach. You know I’m just a phone call away,” he reaffirmed.
Then, he turned, heading toward a certain blonde.
***
Shelly watched as Josh made his way across the dance floor to her.
Mason and Lena had left half an hour earlier, and the festivities were starting to wind down. All night, Shelly had wanted to talk to Josh, but there hadn’t been one moment where she could get away. But right now, well, she had nothing to do except watch him walk toward her.
He was dressed in a perfectly tailored black suit that molded to every tight muscle the man possessed. Under that, he had the same crisp white shirt as Mason, and instead of the cobalt blue tie that Mason had worn, Josh’s tie was a light blue to match the bridesmaids’ dresses. The man looked sexy in a suit, and Shelly wanted to take it off of him, piece by piece.
When he finally stopped in front of her, holding out his hand, Shelly slipped hers into it, allowing him to pull her out onto the dance floor. Tugging her in tight, he held her in a waltz-hold as the music switched, and Sinatra started singing “The Way You Look Tonight.”
“I didn’t think I’d ever get to speak to you tonight,” he spoke softly against the side of her head, moving them gently around the floor with the other couples.
Who knew he could dance so well? Shelly thought as she held on and let him lead, loving the feel of his body as it swayed against her own.
“I know. It was crazy how busy it was—all the photos and people and food,” she said.
“Oh god, yes, the food,” Josh said with a false groan.
Shelly chuckled a little, and then looked up to see he was looking right back at her.
“I love this song,” she told him with a smile.
His eyes crinkled at the sides as he stared down at her while moving them in a slow twirl.
When they were back to a basic step, he agreed. “Yes, it’s one of those classics that definitely stood the test of time.”
Shelly felt his heartbeat against her chest, and she was starting to get nervous as he watched her with an expression she hadn’t seen before. It was almost as though he was unsure of his next move.
Well, she could help that along. After all, she didn’t want him to guess what she wanted tonight. She planned to make it crystal clear.
“Will you come home with me tonight?” Shelly asked, and then licked her bottom lip, waiting for the answer she assumed was inevitable.
The one thing, however, that Shelly had not expected was being taught the valuable lesson of one should never assume.
***
Josh looked down at the beguiling woman in his arms and hated what he had to do next. He had no clue what her reaction was going to be. In fact, he was almost worried that she might tell him to go to hell and never talk to him again, but he had decided last night that this was what he needed to do if he was ever going to be more than a roll in the sheets to her.
“I’m leaving tonight,” he told her as the music stopped.
As they stopped swaying around the floor, he watched as the hurt moved across her eyes, and she pulled back a little, shaking her head.
“I don’t understand,” she stated in an annoyed tone before she turned away.
Josh followed as she moved off the dance floor toward the door leading to the front porch of the venue. When he got outside, he saw her making her way down to one of the seating areas that overlooked Lake Michigan. She must have heard his feet crunching on the gravel because she suddenly turned to him.
“You’re running away!” she accused.
Josh took a step closer to her and was about to reach out, but at the last minute, she turned away from him, crossing her arms over her chest. A light breeze was teasing around them, and as it blew through her beautiful curls, Josh tried to remind himself that this was for the best.
“No, I’m running forward, Georgia. So, catch up to me, would you?”
She spun around on him with that comment, and this time moved up close to him, pointing a finger.
“You first tell me I’m not ready and that you don’t trust me.” She paused, chest heaving as she bit her bottom lip, and then she shrugged helplessly. “Yet, now, when I try to tell you how I feel you stop me at every turn,” she ended, sounding completely defeated.
Josh made the final step to her, reaching out to grip her shoulders. “Shelly, look at me.”
She tipped up her head, facing him with huge cerulean blue eyes that were filled with angst and tears.
He smiled sadly at her. “I don’t want a girlfriend.” He felt her stiffen and knew what conclusion she was jumping to. “I also don’t want a woman who only decides she cares after a hot round of sex.”
“That’s not what happened,” she whispered. “What would make you stay?”
Josh leaned in and kissed her forehead, knowing he was now doing it. This is it.
She would either want what he wanted, or she would never talk to him again.
After taking a deep breath, he whispered against her hair, “This.”
She didn’t try to move away from him. She just stood silently for a moment while he held her arms and kissed her hair. God, she smells amazing.
“What is this?” she asked softly.
Pulling back a little, he looked down at her and tipped up her chin so their eyes met.
“Everything that tonight represents.”
As the reality of what he was saying sank in, he watched her eyes widen, and he felt his nerves bubbling up inside of him.
Spit it out already, he thought to himself.
“The music, the friends, the ceremony, but most importantly, the love. I want all of it. I’m ready for all of it, Georgia. And, until you are too, nothing will make me stay.”
Dropping his hands from her shoulders, he watched her take a deep breath and waited for anything she was going to say. But nothing came.
She just stared up at him with eyes as big as he had ever seen them, and he felt like he was being punched over and over again.
Alright, man, he thought, time to leave.
Turning on his heel, he had made it three steps when he heard his name.
“Josh!”
Turning, he saw that she had moved, and she was now facing him with the lake as her backdrop. The breeze had picked up, and it was whipping around her hair and dress.
She looks absolutely breathtaking.
He stopped and waited.
“How will I know?” she called out.
Josh shook his head and shrugged. “I’m not sure, but one thing I do know is you won’t have to ask.”
With that, he turned and walked away.
Chapter Twenty-Four
October
September had been dubbed the longest month of Shelly’s year.
After Josh had left the night of th
e wedding, Shelly had done something she had never done before. She went home and cried.
Never had she felt so helpless. She’d wanted to express the thoughts that had been running through her mind when Josh had been standing in front of her that night. But she couldn’t.
Thinking you’re in love with someone and just saying it seems so easy, Shelly thought as she lay in bed. However, the reality—a man telling you that he wants you to be everything that makes his world—is just completely terrifying.
What if I fail?
That was all Shelly had thought about for days—hell, weeks now. What if for some reason she was like her father? It wasn’t too far of a stretch. She obviously resembled him in many ways. Why not personality flaws as well?
Sighing, Shelly closed her eyes and pictured Josh as she had last seen him, standing in front of her with his heart on his sleeve, looking at her like she had just let him down.
And she had.
She knew it, and he did, too.
So, what if I do that after we’re committed?
Well, lying here isn’t getting me anywhere, she thought as she climbed out of bed. Booting up her computer, she went to her closet and pulled out a black satin robe. Pulling it on, she sighed as the material slid over her bare skin. When the computer was up and humming, she immediately went to her email, and there it was—the usual nightly letter he still sent her, sitting in her inbox. This one had a subject header, Halloween.
Sitting down in her reading chair, she placed the laptop on her thighs and clicked to open it.
Georgia,
Mason is having a Halloween party down at Exquisite on Saturday. I’ll be in town. Do you want to be the Sandy to my Danny?
Josh
Shelly smiled and responded with seven words.
Yes. You’re the one that I want.
Clicking send, she was shocked when she got an almost immediate response in her mail.
You’re awake early, considering you worked last night.
Josh
Shelly noticed he was online. Forgetting about email, she clicked the instant message bar and typed.
Couldn’t sleep. Someone won’t get out of my head.