She remained immobile in his arms, her eyes closing as anticipation thrummed through her body. “It’s ok,” she whispered again, not wanting him to hate himself for what he was about to do. “It’s ok love.”
He struck suddenly and with the speed of a rattlesnake. Cassie’s body jerked slightly as his teeth sank deep. Though the piercing pain was intense and sharp, it was also brief and fleeting and swiftly replaced by the euphoria that this experience always arose in her. She wrapped her arms around his back, clinging tighter to him as he bit deeper, and drank deeper than he ever had before.
His fear, confusion, rage, and undying love engulfed her. She could feel his mind mingling with hers, feel it touching upon hers as they blended together, slowly becoming one. Just as her mind was touching upon his. Just as he could now see so many things she had wanted to keep from him. For a frantic moment, Cassie wanted to pull away, wanted to get free of him. She didn’t want him to see what they had done to her in there. She didn’t want him to see her weakness, her fear, or her pain, and there had been so much of it in there, far too much of it.
She didn’t want him to see her conflicting feelings about Julian either, didn’t want him to be hurt anymore than he already had been.
She didn’t want him to experience what she had gone through; didn’t want him to know what had been done to her at all. She knew that she could not keep it hidden from him though. If she tried to do so, it would only cause him more distress and doubt over her feelings for Julian. She could sense that he already felt shut out, that he was threatened and confused by her relationship with Julian, and it was making him even more volatile and unstable. She could not continue to let that happen, it would only result in more devastation, and next time she might not be able to stop him.
Slumping against him, Cassie gave herself over to his questing mind. All of her barriers slid away as she allowed him in, letting him see it all. She knew she risked his rage again, but she couldn’t hurt him anymore. She needed him far too much, and loved him far too much to keep anything from him. Let alone something as important as this. He cradled her gently, his hands entwining in her hair, holding her tight to him as her memories, and her terror, enveloped them both. She could feel his shock, his horror, his sorrow as he cradled her tighter, seeking to comfort and soothe her, seeking to try and take her pain from her. His love enveloped her, wrapping around her, easing the torture of her soul as only he could do.
She could also feel his pain, the constant struggle he had been going through since she had been taken. She could feel the battle he had waged to keep himself under control enough to find her again. For if he had lost control, he would have destroyed everything in his path. He would have become much like the mindless monsters stalking this town. She could feel the agony that her loss had caused him, the torment that had plagued him endlessly. She could feel his fear about her relationship with Julian, a fear that was eased by the taking of her vein.
He withdrew from her, his head dropping into the hollow of her neck as she held him tight. His lips were warm against her neck; his body trembled as he held her close to him. He licked her wounds gently, closing them with the healing agent in his saliva. She shuddered at the feel of him against her skin, at the wonderful touch of his tongue against her.
“I’ve warned you repeatedly not to put yourself in my way,” he whispered, nuzzling her ear gently with his nose and lips.
Her fingers curled tighter into his back as her knees began to tremble. “I’ll always put myself in your way,” she whispered. “I’ll always be here for you.”
His lips moved to her cheek, brushing gentle kisses across her face, her nose, her lips and then back again. “My Cassie,” he breathed in her ear. “It’s not your fault what they did to you in there, you did not deserve it. And you aren’t in love with him. You were just confused, lost, wounded, and you were brutalized both physically and psychologically. You care for him and he kept you alive and sane, and you love him, but you are not in love with him.”
She burst into tears; her knees gave out as she fell against him. She hadn’t realized until then just how much she had needed his forgiveness, his love, his understanding. She hadn’t realized just how much she had feared her strange feelings for Julian, her sudden, binding connection to him. But Devon had seen it all, and he had understood it all. And because of his unconditional love, and understanding, she was now able to understand it better too.
She also hadn’t realized just how much she had blamed herself for what had happened in there. She had gone against her own kind by loving Devon, and she was abnormal, different from the rest of her kind. She was an abomination, lacking and dangerous in ways that none of the rest of them were. But his forgiveness, his words, helped to ease the torment and self hatred that had lingered in her soul, eating her alive from the inside out.
He bent down, sweeping her into his arms as she clung to him, tears streaming down her cheeks. She burrowed her face into the hollow of his neck, unable to face the others at the moment. “I’m sorry,” he said briskly to Liam. “We’re going out back. Will you be ok for a little while?”
She assumed this question was directed at Luther as he was the one that answered yes in a slightly strangled voice.
Devon’s strides were long and purposeful as he carried her past the racks of merchandise and toward the back area where the feed was kept. She watched him silently as he placed her down on a feed bag. He walked around, drawing the blinds and curtains tightly shut, though fragments of light still filtered through the edges. Lamps and flashlights had already been gathered and set out in the room. He turned on one of the lamps, its small beam of light cast shadows about the room. Grabbing two of the sleeping bags they had stashed back here, he unrolled one and placed it down. Finally, he placed the rolled one down as a pillow.
He turned back to her, holding his hand out for her. Cassie rose slowly, clasping hold of his hand as he pulled the zipper back to let her in. Cassie climbed inside, her entire body suddenly aching and tired. Her mind was numb as tears continued to roll silently down her cheeks. Devon crawled in beside her; he wrapped his arms around her as he pulled her against him.
He rested his cheek against hers as he wiped the tears gently from her face. “I missed this so much,” he whispered. “I missed you.”
She squeezed his hands tight, pressing them against her chest. “And I missed you,” she breathed, brushing a light kiss against his nose, his cheeks, and finally softly against his full mouth. “Devon, about Julian…”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now Cassie. I know what happened to you.” For a moment his voice trailed off, his eyes growing hard and distant. “I know what they did to you and they will pay for it, and we will talk about it soon. But for tonight, I just want to hold you. I just want to feel you against me. I just need to know that you are with me again, and safe.”
More tears streamed down her face as she smiled brightly at him. “Yes, I would like that very very much.”
His grin was the most beloved, cherished thing she had ever seen. She had missed his smile even more than her own freedom. His eyes sparkled when he smiled, the hard planes of his face softened making him younger and more approachable looking, even with the rough stubble along his jaw.
“You’re exhausted.”
“Yes,” she agreed softly, stifling a yawn as she nuzzled closer to him, savoring in the wonderfully masculine scent of him. It was familiar and comforting and welcoming. His love enveloped her, wrapping her within a secure cocoon that lulled her into a much needed, dreamless sleep.
CHAPTER 5
Cassie awoke sometime later, blinking against the sleep that still clung to her. Devon’s arm was wrapped loosely around her waist, his breathing even and slow as he slept peacefully. She stared at his slackened face, savoring in his perfect features. She was reaching for him, wanting to wake him when a small snort behind her caught her attention. She turned slightly, a smile quirking her mouth as she caught sight o
f Chris a few feet away, snoring softly. She had spent many many nights of her life listening to his snores.
She lay for a few moments, relishing in the warmth of Devon and the blessed noise of Chris. She watched Chris, wishing that he didn’t have to be entangled in all of this with them. She wished that she could have kept him safe from it all, but knew that she never could have. Birth had trapped them both here, and the cruelty of crazed men, not her.
The pressure in her bladder was what eventually got her moving. Wiggling the zipper on the sleeping bag down, she gently untangled Devon’s arm from her and slid from the bag. She wrapped him tightly back into it, rising slowly to her feet. She winced as pain lanced through her bruised and battered feet, but she hobbled over to the lit lantern, lifting it from the bags of feed.
She peered around the room, surprised to note that everyone except Liam and Julian was asleep in the room, and that the sun had set. Frowning, Cassie tried to figure out how long she had been asleep, but it was impossible to tell. Limping away, she made her way back into the main store, heading for the bathroom they had discovered behind the coolers.
She washed her face and hands, and used a small towel to sponge down the rest of her. Though she would have killed for a shower, the simple act of washing herself felt wonderful. Picking up the small hairbrush someone had left by the sink, she patiently began to unravel the tight knots matting her hair. She bit into her bottom lip, wincing as she diligently worked through the tangles. Finally, the brush flowed freely through her hair, leaving it shiny and flowing once more. Dark circles still shadowed her eyes, but some of her color had finally returned.
Sighing softly, she made her way slowly back out of the bathroom and toward the front of the store. “Turn the light down princess,” Julian whispered to her.
She jumped slightly in surprise; she had not seen him amongst the dark and shadows. Her hand fumbled with the switch that turned the small electric flame down, leaving it merely a flicker within its plastic casing. “Where are you?” she whispered.
“Front window.”
Cassie shuffled wearily forward until he came into view. He was standing by the window, leaning against the wall as he watched her from beneath lowered lids. Though he had gotten no sleep, he did not appear on the verge of exhaustion. “What time is it?” she inquired softly.
“About nine.”
“Don’t you think you should get some sleep?”
He shrugged negligently, the lazy smile she remembered slipped into place. She couldn’t help but return it. “I’ve become accustomed to someone talking my ear off till I fall asleep from boredom.”
Cassie couldn’t stop herself from laughing softly as she crept steadily closer, grinning brightly at him. “Where is Liam?”
He nodded across the way. Cassie turned to find Liam sitting in a chair. He was leaning against the wall, his eyes closed, his head tipped back as he slept soundly. She quirked an eyebrow in surprise, trying hard not to laugh. “He’s a good guard.”
“I think he’s mainly supposed to be guarding me.”
“They don’t trust you yet.”
“No, they don’t. It’s understandable though.” He shifted slightly, crossing his legs as he peered out the window again.
“They’ll learn to,” she said softly, placing the lantern on one of the shelves as she hobbled closer to him.
“If you say so princess.”
“I do. Has there been anything out there?”
He glanced back at her, his strange eyes oddly aglow in the flickering light of the lantern. The white blue band encircling his irises seemed to glow. The darker, brighter blue of them shone as he watched her move toward him. “A few of those things skittered across the road about an hour ago, but I haven’t seen anything since.”
Cassie nodded, biting nervously on her bottom lip as she joined him by the windows. “There might be others that survived whatever happened down there.”
“There probably are, but if I find them they won’t be alive for long.”
“Julian…”
He turned back to her, his eyes flashing briefly red in the light. “I’ll stay here with these people, and I won’t hurt them because of you. I may even stop killing, when we get out of this town, if it will make you happy. But if I come across those bastards that put us in that hell hole I will kill them. They do not deserve to live,” he growled.
Cassie’s lips parted at his words. It was not the fact that he planned to destroy the people that had tortured them that surprised her, but the fact that he would stop killing for her. “You would really stop killing?” she breathed.
He stared at her for a long moment, confusion and hurt flickered briefly through his eyes. “I would do anything for you Cassie.”
She inhaled sharply, tears burned her eyes. She ached for his unhappiness. “Julian...”
He held a hand up, shaking his head. “I know Cassie. I’ve always known that you would choose him, that he was where your heart belonged. It doesn’t mean that my feelings for you will change though.”
Cassie managed a small nod, her gaze darted behind him to the covered window. “I never meant to hurt you.”
He quirked an eyebrow, the familiar amusement played over his features again. “Don’t get ahead of yourself there princess.”
“Don’t call me princess,” she responded automatically.
He grinned at her, flashing his perfect white teeth. “Your wish is my command.”
“That’s even more annoying.”
He laughed softly, a small rumbling sound that reverberated through his chest and warmed her to the tips of her toes. She was immensely relieved that he still wanted to speak with her, that he did not hate her, and that he could stay her friend. “Thank you Julian.”
He frowned at her, shifting uncomfortably. “For what?” he demanded gruffly.
She smiled over his discomfit, taking some pleasure in aggravating him as much as he liked to aggravate her. “For keeping me sane, for being there for me, for being my friend.” He scowled at her for a moment before turning his attention back to the window. “And for not ripping my throat out the first chance you had.”
He laughed softly as he turned back to her. “Well, the night is still young.”
Cassie grinned at him, moving closer to lean against the wall on the other side of the window. She moved the curtain aside to peer out at the dark street. Nothing moved but the street lights, apparently on a timer, had come on. Their light cast shadows across the road, it spilled into the darkly lit woods.
“Thank you also Cassie.”
She poked her head back out from behind the curtain to look at him. “For what?”
He grinned at her, wiggling his eyebrows comically. “For keeping me sane, for being my friend. For making Dani come back for me.”
She looked at him surprise. “How did you know about that?”
He shook his head as he rolled his eyes. “Blondes,” he muttered, though he smiled kindly at her. “You and Dani did have to touch me to help get me out of there.”
“Oh,” she said dully, a small flush staining her cheeks. “Then you already knew everything that Dani told us about what was going on in there, and what they wanted with us before we got here. Why would you threaten to take the knowledge out of her forcefully?”
He shook his head, his hand clenching slightly on the curtain. “I didn’t already know what she knew. I can’t read two people at once, it’s too overwhelming. And since I can’t stand that bitch, I concentrated on you instead. You also kept hold of me for a lot longer than she did.”
Cassie nodded slowly as she digested this information. “I see.”
He was silent for a moment, his eyes dark and distant. “I’m not sure I can promise anything when it comes to her either.”
“She got us out of there,” she reminded him.
“She helped to put us in there,” he retorted.
Cassie was silent for a moment, torn between her desire to get even with Dani for
her actions, and her desire not to see her hurt. At one time she had thought of Dani as a little sister, she had cared for her, and she had been betrayed because of that trust. But she still could not bring herself to let the girl get hurt. “No Julian, Dani will get hers in the end, but we won’t be the ones to give it to her. Besides, we may need her still.”
He grunted softly as he folded his arms over his chest, looking completely disgruntled by her answer. “Are we staying here all night?” she asked softly.
“That’s the plan.”
“If you want to get some sleep, I’ll keep watch for awhile.”
He shook his head, leaning against the wall again. “I’m fine.”
Cassie nodded, resting her head against the wall as she studied the street. Though they had spent every night in their cells talking endlessly, they both remained quiet while on watch. The moon moved across the snow, its light illuminated the street even more. Cassie shifted slightly, she pulled on the edges of the over large sweatshirt she had found in the back, along with a pair of work jeans.
“Did you know they were giving me your blood?” she asked softly after awhile.
Julian tore his attention away from the window. “I suspected,” he admitted.
She gaped at him for a moment. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He shook his head, his platinum hair falling across his forehead. “You had enough to worry about in there without me adding to it, especially when I wasn’t certain.”
She bit on her bottom lip, turning back to the window. “How did you know?”
“The discoloration in your arm, it’s what happens when vampire blood is introduced into the human system.”
“I’m not human.”