Sera ate as much of the food as she could, pushing most of it around the plate. Elspeth’s stomach didn’t hold as much as Sera wanted to eat.
“There she is,” a masculine voice interrupted. Sera turned to watch a stocky man enter the kitchen. He gathered Elspeth up in his arms, squeezing her tightly. Sera held her breath, ignoring the pain the hug caused to Elspeth’s body. He must be Elspeth’s father, Rick. “If your mother hadn’t been guarding your bedroom door, I would’ve woken you up the minute I got home from work.”
“Sorry . . . Dad.” Sera tried to look apologetic.
He glanced across the table at Corinne, a flash of pain floating through his expression. “Just stick around as long as you can.” His voice sounded husky. He cleared his throat and took the seat next to Elspeth, still gripping her hand. Sera didn’t mind. It meant she didn’t have to try and eat anymore.
“What do you girls have on tap for today?” he asked, probably trying to keep the atmosphere as normal as possible.
“I’m going to make some cookies and see if I can bribe Dex into talking to me some more,” Sera said.
Rick and Corinne exchanged a look. “Oh?”
Sera looked down at her plate. “It’s important to . . . to try and help him.”
“It’s good of you to care,” Corinne forced a smile.
Rick put his fork down. “I thought we’d do something as a family. Maybe drive up to the lake.”
Sera didn’t want to say she didn’t have much time and she didn’t want to waste it driving to the lake. Especially since all Elspeth’s body would handle was lounging in a chair. “I need to talk to Dex,” she said instead.
“Maybe you can invite him.” Corinne stood and gathered up her and Sera’s plates. “He could probably use the distraction.”
“Great idea,” Rick agreed.
Sera nodded. She might as well try.
“I’ll get your things together while you go talk to Dex,” Corinne offered. She patted Sera gently on the shoulder.
“Thanks.” Sera pushed away from the table. She met Corinne and Rick’s concerned expressions and tried to look stronger than she felt. Rick followed her out to the porch anyway.
She didn’t want to, for appearances sake, but she had to walk slowly across the yards and grip the rail tightly when she climbed the steps to Porter’s front door. To her surprise, Dex answered.
“You again.” He started to push the door closed.
Sera lifted her arm and laid it on the door. She knew the non-existent force didn’t stop the door from closing, but Dex paused. Maybe it was the bony, sickly look of her arm.
“What if it was you, Dex?” she asked.
He leaned against the door frame. “What?”
“What if you died and had the chance to come back and help Sera. Would you stop just because she pushed you away?”
“You’re not Sera.”
Sera folded her arms. “I’m not quitting.”
Dex pulled the door open a little wider. “Okay. Fine. What’s today’s lecture?” His voice sounded distant and cold.
Sera smiled, but Dex didn’t return it. “I had something different in mind. My parents want to take me to the lake to spend time together. I’m hoping you’ll come.”
“No, thanks.” Dex moved to shut the door again.
“If you don’t come, I’ll stay to talk to you.”
Dex sighed and shook his head. “By the looks of it, you don’t have much time left. You should be dead now.” Sera didn’t let his attitude bother her. That’s what he wanted: for his callousness to drive her away. “You should spend your last days with them.” He nodded toward Elspeth’s house.
“The only reason I’m alive is because Sera wants me to help you.” Sera ignored the look of derision on Dex’s face. “If it comes down to it, I’ll choose you over them. So it’s all on you if I die on your step today, trying to talk to you.”
Sera thought her blunt statement might’ve caused Dex’s lips to twitch a little. “That’s ridiculous.”
“Yes or no?”
His eyes swept over her face, probably taking in the dark circles under eyes, sunken cheeks, and ashen pallor. “Can you handle a day at the lake?” he asked.
“I’m fine. Have you got something better to do?” She raised her eyebrows questioningly at him, before casually placing her hand on the house to support herself. She didn’t think she fooled him.
Dex looked away. “I consider a lot of things ‘better to do’ than spending a whole day being reminded of something I’m trying to forget.”
Hurt zinged through Sera, making her stumble forward. She gripped the door frame and looked up, wishing more than believing tears weren’t swelling in her eyes. “You want to forget me,” she whispered.
Dex took her arms in his, helping her stand back up. “What did you say?” he asked, staring at her closely.
Sera took her hands back. “You want to forget Sera?” she corrected.
Dex paused before answering. Finally he looked down at the door handle, running his fingers along it. “Yeah. Because maybe if I forget her, I can quit feeling like a truck ran over me a few times, then drug me along behind it.” He met Sera’s eyes for a brief instant. They shone with fresh pain. As if Sera had died only hours before.
She couldn’t stop Elspeth’s hand from rising and reaching for his face. “Oh, Dex,” she said softly.
Something about her tone made Dex freeze and stare at her, watch as her fingers brushed against his cheek, but then he jerked away, trying to shut the door.
Sera cleared her throat. “If you stay so do I.”
He peered at her through the sliver of open door. He shook his head. “Fine. I’ll get some things. You’ll probably need me to carry your dead body from the lakeside to the car.”
Sera ignored the harshness. “Thanks, Dex. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
*****
Emily closed the door of the Transition Center with a snap, ignoring the angry growl of her stomach.
“Easy!” she said to herself with a laugh. “I can’t help it that I had to reassign three overseers this afternoon.”
“Busy day?”
Emily turned to see Jenner approaching with a handful of files. “What’s this?” she asked when he handed them over.
“Sera Finn’s and Elspeth Ronan’s Arrival schedules. Mr. Christopher said you were overseeing their cases.”
Emily raised her eyebrows but didn’t object. “Of course . . .” She sighed.
“I guess they’re sort of a special case.” Jenner smiled. “The Guides must want it handled with the utmost care.”
“Yes. They do.” Emily straightened the folders in her arm. She glanced up at Jenner, remembering him sitting alone at dinner the night before. “Are you hungry?”
His smile stretched out into a grin. “Yes. Thank you.”
Emily led the way down the hallway toward the dining hall. They walked in silence, their shoes clicking on the tiled floor.
“How are they?” Jenner asked when they reached a table. “Sera and Elspeth?”
“Sera is fine, obviously.” Emily smiled to herself. “Elspeth’s body is losing strength quicker than expected. We’ve never allowed a body to go this long before we extracted it. Apparently the attack of the virus speeds up. And Sera is pushing it far past what normal victims do at this stage.”
Jenner poked at his peas, scattering them with his fork. “So you may have to extract Elspeth sooner than Sera wanted?”
Emily bit her lip, thinking of a message she’d received from The Guides that morning, saying almost the exact same thing. “Perhaps.” She took another bite and swallowed. “Did you know Sera when she was first extracted?”
Jenner frowned and shook his head. “No. I didn’t meet Sera until we were put together.”
Emily stared down into her food, wondering what compelled her to warn Jenner about what Sera’s disposition might be when she returned. “Do you know you resemble Dex Porter a great
deal?”
An understanding smile dawned across Jenner’s face, his dull brown irises suddenly twinkling with light. “Yes.”
“Oh.” Why in the world was she blushing? Emily cleared her throat. “I feel I must warn you that she may be very . . . depressed . . . when she returns, after being so near Dex, even for such a brief time.”
Jenner nodded. “It’s okay. I understand. I don’t love Sera like that,” he looked up, a sort of panicked look crossing his expression. “Yet. Not yet anyway.”
Emily chuckled. “Don’t feel bad, Jenner. You can’t get banished for not having a deep romantic passion for your companion. It’s possible you may never feel that way for Sera. If that happens, you two will simply find different companions.”
Jenner blushed. “Of course.” His eyes lingered on Emily’s face, making her self-conscious. “Do you have a companion . . . I mean, I’ve never seen you with anyone.”
Emily swallowed. “Um . . . no, not really.”
Jenner laughed awkwardly. “Meaning yes, there is someone, at least for you.”
Emily looked at her food, studying it intensely. “He’s assigned to the Sanctuary team.”
“I thought Elysians almost always worked with their companions. It’s my impression that your people place a very high value on the connections between companions.” Jenner frowned.
Something stuck in Emily’s throat. “Cast requested to work with Sanctuary. And he’s not my companion.”
The deep, red hue returned to Jenner’s face. “Oh. That’s obviously none of my business. Seems dumb, though, to me. For him to want to be apart from you.”
It was Emily’s turn to laugh awkwardly. “Thank you, Jenner.” She cleared her throat. “I’m young by Elysian standards. It’s not unusual that neither I nor Cast have made a commitment.”
“Right. Of course.” Jenner poked at his peas again, scattering them across the table this time. He ignored them and smiled up at Emily, looking as though he was trying to regain his confidence. “Let me know if you need any help overseeing Sera and Elspeth Ronan’s cases. The Arrivals Center has been slow lately.” He grimaced at what that meant. Too many people dying too quickly for them to intervene in the last few weeks.
“Certainly. I’m sure I could use it.” She tapped Sera’s file and winked. “Are you up for having to physically separate Sera from Elspeth’s body?”
*****
It surprised Sera how much the walk from the car down the boardwalk to the lake shore exhausted Elspeth’s waning body. Sera swallowed back fear. She’d pushed it too hard. The Guides would be monitoring her. If it looked like Elspeth’s body would give out before the end of the week, they’d take her.
She didn’t try to talk right away. At first she just watched Dex, who stared out at the distant shore of the other side of the lake. He seemed oblivious to her, or at least he didn’t comment on her staring at him. When her eyes felt heavy, she closed them, just to rest a moment. She listened to the gentle lapping of the water at the legs of their lounge chairs, took deep breaths of clean-smelling air. And fell asleep.
Dex’s voice startled her awake. “I thought you’d spend every minute here trying to convince me to change my evil ways.”
Sera opened her eyes and saw he’d turned his stare to her. “Oh . . .” How could she let time with Dex slip away in sleep? Even if Elspeth’s body needed it.
A brief look of concern crossed his face, followed by soft laughter. “You were sleeping.” He leaned his head back to the lounge chair, turning his gaze to the sky. “Why are you wasting your time on me? Tell Sera you tried when you see her. Let it go.”
“She cares about you,” Sera said, pushing herself into a sitting position, then changing her mind. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. If Dex was willing to sit and listen to her, it wouldn’t hurt to take it easy.
“Stop talking about her in the present tense, Elspeth. She’s dead. Gone. Was. Past.”
Sera realized she clung to even the cruel tone of Dex’s voice, enjoying hearing it. “You believed in life after death before she died.”
“How would you know?”
The ice in his voice snapped Sera’s eyes open. She watched him for a moment before he turned away from her. “You told her not to worry about dying; that you’d see her soon.”
The tone changed. “I didn’t know you knew Sera well enough to talk to her before . . . when she was . . .” He quit trying to say the words and let the sentence hang.
Sera didn’t answer. He hadn’t asked a question anyway. “Tell me about her,” she said instead.
“I thought you met her.” The derision was back. Sera ignored it. After a few minutes Dex answered. “Too bad you couldn’t really know her. She changed my life.”
Sera turned her face back to him. “You weren’t like this before her,” she said, confused by what he meant.
Dex laughed, but joy didn’t infiltrate it like it had before. “No. I didn’t get the one-way ticket to hell until she . . . left.”
“So you do believe in an afterlife.” Sera smiled at him.
Dex rolled his eyes. “I went to church with my parents. I did what I was supposed to, but only because that’s what I’d always done. She made me want to be good. To be the best man I could.” He didn’t speak for several minutes. Sera didn’t interrupt his solitude. “I should’ve married her the day after I met her.”
“Oh . . .” A gasp slipped out. “You wanted to marry her?” Sera couldn’t help searching his face.
It changed, darkened and contorted in anger. “I don’t need you ‘oohing’ and ‘ahhhing’ over it like some giggly girl. It won’t happen. She’s dead. Bringing God back into my life won’t change any of that.” He pushed himself out of the chair, stalking across the rocks.
“Dex!” Sera struggled to sit up, but she knew she couldn’t follow him. “Where’re you going?”
“I’ll walk home,” he threw over his shoulder. “I knew I shouldn’t have bothered.”
“Dex. Please! Wait!” She sat helplessly in the lounge chair. He ignored her, the click, click of rocks echoing back toward her. She closed her eyes. What had she said that even had a chance of changing his mind about his choices? Nothing. She thought talking about herself would soften him a little, get him to listen to her pleas.
She watched his progress up the beach. He stopped just before he reached the boardwalk. His shoulders slumped. He turned and traipsed back to their chairs.
“It’s too far,” he snapped, falling down into his chair.
She sighed—quietly—with relief and leaned back into her own chair.
“Go ahead, Elspeth. Lecture me so you can die in peace.” The tone was warming, sounding more resigned than put-off.
Sera smiled, closing her eyes again. She hated the limitations this body had. So little time. “Just remember who you are, Dex,” she slurred. She didn’t hear his answer. She drifted off again.
*****
“We should go,” Mr. Ronan eyed the setting sun with weariness.
Dex looked over at Elspeth. She already looked like a corpse, worse than even Sera in her last days, but still a painful reminder. Was that why he agreed to this ludicrous trip? Was that why he let Elspeth preach to him about what Sera wanted when he hated Elspeth for it? Because at some point he’d decided he’d take any reminder, no matter how much it shredded him inside. Any token that someone as angelic as Sera really existed. The same light of unconditional knowing shone out of Elspeth’s eyes—though he didn’t have a clue when that change had happened. Probably when she realized she was dying. Would Dex come to terms with something when his time came? If it ever came—and each day that passed that he didn’t contract Polio-Variant IV he was starting to believe he’d live forever.
“Ellie, want me to carry you to the car?” Mr. Ronan asked gently.
She opened her eyes, looking exhausted. Dex glanced at Mr. and Mrs. Ronan. Why did they drag her up here?
“I’ll take her, Mr. Ronan,”
Dex offered, putting his arms under Elspeth’s skeletal body before Mr. Ronan could.
“Thanks,” Elspeth whispered. Her body relaxed against his. Her hands drifted over the fabric of his t-shirt, fingering it.
“Near-death has changed you a lot, Elspeth,” Dex said.
She didn’t answer for several minutes. “How so?” she finally asked.
“You never really talked to me before. And to be honest, I thought you were a bit of a snob.”
“Oh. Sorry,” she apologized.
“No problem.” Dex chuckled. Something in his chest loosened when he did it. “I suppose an all-important mission to save someone’s soul can change a person.”
“I’m not lying.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.”
He carried her easily, her body only swaying slightly in his firm grasp. “She wants you to be happy. Are the drugs, alcohol, and women making you happy?” she asked.
They reached Ronan’s car. Mr. Ronan stepped ahead and opened the door for Dex. He laid Elspeth inside, helping her sit up against the back of the seat.
“As happy as I can be.” He pursed his lips. Elspeth didn’t know what a hell it was to live without someone like Sera. That it didn’t matter what he did because when he died he wouldn’t see Sera again.
Elspeth frowned. Dex shut the door and walked to the other side. She rolled her head over to watch him, but he ignored her and plopped down into the seat.
*****
Sera thought she stayed awake during the trip home, though neither she nor Dex spoke. She watched him stare out the window, gazing at the late afternoon sun sinking lower and lower. Dex carried her into the house and into her room. The moment took on a dream-like quality.
“Stop killing yourself over me, Elspeth,” he said when he laid her on top of her bed.
She lifted her fingers, running them through his soft brown hair, sure he’d never allow it unless she was dreaming. “I don’t want to be in heaven without you, babe,” she whispered. She closed her eyes, unable to hold them open longer, even in her dream.
Dex’s breath caught, then wafted slowly over her face for several minutes before his weight disappeared from the bed. She wanted to reach out to him, maybe ask him to hold her for just a while longer.