Page 27 of Surrendering to Us


  I thought about going to see Dad and asking him if he could fill me in, but I didn’t want to put any more pressure on him than he was already under. I just wanted it to be over. For me to go back to enjoying work, and for Dad to go back to looking healthy and happy. That was all I wanted.

  “It’s time,” Lilia said, knocking on my door when it was time to go to the meeting. She’d offered to come, since I probably wouldn’t be in a position to take any notes.

  Violet was also coming from her office and she smiled when she saw me. Lilia slipped past me to take her seat.

  “How are things going?” Violet said as a few other people trickled past us to sit down.

  “Oh, you know,” I said with a shrug. “How are things with you?”

  She shrugged. “Same old, same old.” We both seemed to be trying to keep things on a business level. “Cute shoes.”

  “Thanks, yours are gorgeous.” She turned her foot and let me admire the yellow pumps with little bows on them. More people filed past, saying hello and greeting me. I kept a smile on my face, even when Hal walked by. I smiled so much it hurt. I’d kill those bastards with kindness. I’d drown them in it.

  “Well, we should probably go in,” Violet said, motioning to the room.

  “Right,” I said, and she walked in and took her seat and I took mine next to Lilia. Lucah wasn’t here, and I wished (in addition to the time machine) that I had a way to beam him up from his office so he could be with me. Not because I couldn’t do this on my own, but just to have him here. My security boyfriend.

  This time another member of the Board, Mr. Buckley, called the meeting to order. I tried not to stare at Dad, but it was hard. Mr. Buckley read the minutes of the last meeting and then the agenda for this meeting. Nothing earth-shattering. It was an absolutely normal meeting, which we actually hadn’t had in a while.

  But then Hal cleared his throat and stood up. I tried to keep my face impassive, but I wasn’t sure if I did very well.

  “Before we get to that, I think we need to address something.” Dad’s face was grim when I turned my head to look at him. This was it.

  Everyone else’s attention snapped to Hal and there were several looks of confusion, but most looked like they’d expected this. Of course they had, they’d planned it.

  “As everyone is aware, this company has been through a lot recently, and some of the stockholders and members of the Board are wondering if this . . . unpleasantness could have been prevented.” Hal walked from his chair to the front of the room. He passed by me and I had the overwhelming urge to back my chair up and trip him. But I refrained. Lilia scribbled something on her legal pad and pushed it toward me. I had a momentary flashback of doing the same thing with Lucah. But that was a completely different situation.

  What’s going on?

  I took my eyes off Hal for the two seconds it took for me to scrawl a response.

  Wait and see.

  Hal was continuing to go on about how the company had been through a lot and the importance of leadership and so on and so forth. Just get to the fucking point.

  “This company was founded by Walter Clarke and he’s been our fearless leader for many years, but, as I said, some feel that it is time for him to pass the torch to someone else.” He was about to continue when another voice cut through the room.

  “No.”

  Dad stood up and the attention instantly switched from Hal to him. Lilia inhaled sharply, sensing the shift.

  “Hal, I know what you’re trying to do, and I’m going to ask you not to do it. This isn’t the way. I’ve known you for over half my life and I’m asking you not to do this.” I’d been looking at Dad, but I had to stop. He wasn’t talking to Hal Marksman, member of the Board of Directors. He was talking to his friend Hal that he went golfing with and whose wife was friends with his wife and with whom he had shared numerous trials and tribulations.

  “Walter, you know this isn’t personal. This is for the good of the company.”

  “The good of the company? Really, Hal? This is my company. I AM this company. Everyone in this room is. We wouldn’t be where we are without each and every one of you. Yes, we have been through a lot, and we have put measures in place to ensure nothing like this ever happens again. Everyone in this room is part of that. So let’s drop this and move on. Move forward.” He was giving Hal an out. To get out without things getting ugly. I held my breath and hoped Hal would take it. I did a quick scan around the room with my eyes, trying to judge what everyone else thought, but I couldn’t tell.

  Hal cleared his throat again.

  “We’re past that point already, Walter. We need to take action now. If you don’t voluntarily step down, we will have to vote you out. It’s come to that.” Hal wasn’t going to budge. It was as if everyone in the entire room was holding their collective breaths. Dad shook his head sadly.

  “Well, good luck, Hal. I already have the majority of stockholders on my side. If you call a vote, you will lose, and then I will be forced to call a vote and impeach you. Please don’t make me have to do that. You will lose and you’re a valuable member of this company and a friend. Don’t end it like this.”

  For the first time since he spoke, Hal was speechless. He hadn’t counted on that. Dad continued.

  “I also happen to know you’ve done some backhanded things to try to win votes over to your side. I am willing to overlook those things if you are willing to drop this now, and let us never speak of it again. That’s my offer. Take it or leave it.”

  He spread his arms out and waited.

  A range of emotions crossed over Hal’s face. Anger, betrayal, irritation, shock. None of them were good. He coughed again and shook his head.

  Dad seemed to ignore Hal.

  “In light of what has just happened, I think this calls for an emergency meeting on Monday to further discuss what has been brought to light today. I expect everyone in this room to be there and if some major changes, including those in staff, need to be made.” Dad scanned the room, making eye contact with each and every person in the room, even me before he sat down.

  Hal’s voice broke the silence following Dad’s speech. “This isn’t the end of this, Walter. For now, it will be. But this isn’t over.” That was a threat if I’d ever heard one. Something told me that Dad and Hal’s relationship would never be the same after today. It was a shame. They’d been such close friends for so long. I’d only been friends with Sloane since college and losing her would be like losing one of my arms.

  Hal and Dad sat back down and there was the largest silence I’d ever experienced in my life. Someone coughed and then Mr. Buckley cleared his throat and tried to get the meeting back on track. As if the previous incident hadn’t happened. It took a moment, but soon everyone was back in meeting mode. Except me, of course. And Hal. And Dad. I kept trying to catch his eye, but he wouldn’t look at me. Lilia passed me another note.

  Holy crap! That was basically my feeling on the matter. Now that the moment of crisis was over, all I wanted to do was talk to Dad and make sure he was okay.

  The minutes dragged and dragged, and I had to stop checking the clock because it never seemed to move. Lilia was taking notes, and I hoped she could fill me in on what was going on, because everything I was supposed to be paying attention to was just a blur of PowerPoint slides and words and numbers and percentages.

  It seemed like I had entered some sort of alternate universe where time stood still. Or maybe the same minute was repeating itself over and over. Groundhog Minute.

  “Well, that’s, uh, all we have for today. Have a good weekend everyone.” Mr. Buckley seemed beyond relieved that the meeting was over, and I had to agree with him. I tried to get to Dad, but he was attacked by several other Board members, not including Hal, who left with a group of other members who all had pissed expressions. That must be the anti-Walter Clarke group. I made a mental note on each of them for future reference.

  “You okay?” Lilia said as she tugged at my sleev
e. I nodded. I didn’t want to talk about anything when there were so many ears that could hear.

  I wasn’t going to be able to talk to Dad right away, but I finally caught his eye and he nodded. I hoped that meant I could go see him later because we definitely needed to talk.

  “That was interesting,” Violet said as she walked by me. That was one word for it.

  “Yeah, do you want to go back to my office and discuss it?” I had to talk to someone, and Lilia and Violet seemed like the only ones, apart from Lucah, I could talk to.

  “Great idea,” Violet said and we quickly exited and went to my office where I shut, and then locked, the door.

  “What the hell just happened?” Violet said as I sat down at my desk. Lilia leaned against the table with the water pitcher and glasses on it, and Violet took the seat across from me.

  “I mean, did you know that was going to happen?” she asked me.

  I considered for a moment what to tell them. It was so hard to trust anyone at this place anymore. But when I looked at Lilia and Violet, I decided that these were two of the people I could.

  “Yes and no. I knew there was going to be some kind of confrontation, but I didn’t know it would be like that.” Nothing could have prepared me for that, which was probably why Dad didn’t tell me much.

  “I’ve never seen anything like that,” Lilia said. “I thought they were going to start punching each other.” Me too.

  “So what now?” Lilia said, folding and unfolding her arms.

  “That is a good question I don’t have the answer to,” I said. For that I’d have to talk to Dad. I couldn’t imagine he and Hal could go back to working together like they had before, but what did I know? Maybe Dad could convince him to step back to avoid any excess drama. Now that Hal knew he didn’t have the upper hand, he might be more willing to back out while he still could.

  “Batshit crazy,” Violet said, shaking her head. “Oh, sorry for the language.”

  “No, no. It was warranted,” I said. I’d gotten almost completely desensitized to cursing because of Ryder. Also, because I was a frequent user of said words.

  “I really need to go talk to my dad,” I said, looking at the door. The other two seemed to be lost in thought.

  “Oh, sure. Of course. I’m going to go back to my office. Would you mind letting me know what you find out? I’m rooting for Team Clarke.” I had to laugh about that comment.

  “Absolutely, I’ll let know what I find out,” I said and Violet went back to her office.

  “Need a therapy session? Just call me,” Lilia said and left as well. Before I marched myself down to Dad’s office, I decided to call first.

  “Hello, Rory. I think I can guess why you’re calling,” Mrs. Andrews said.

  “I’m sure. Is he available?”

  “Hold on dear, let me check.” She set the phone down and I waited for her to come back.

  “Come right on over,” she said and I hung up and walked briskly down the hall. His door was open, but he motioned for me to close it when I walked in. I hadn’t seen his face so grim since we’d found out about his friend (and my former assistant) Sal’s ailing mind.

  “I’m sorry you had to see that,” he said, scrubbing his face with his hands. “I wish I could have shielded you from it, but there wasn’t any way. I knew it was going to be ugly, but I thought if I gave them an out, they’d take it. This is going to tear the company apart. Not to mention the relationships I’ve built over so many years—” his voice broke and he bent over, his back heaving with sobs.

  My heart shattered and I couldn’t do anything else but get up and put my arms around him.

  “I’m sorry, Rory. I didn’t think it was going to be this hard. How could they do this to me?” He raised his head and I grabbed tissue from the box on his desk and blotted his eyes. I’d been doing that a lot lately for those I loved. We’d certainly found a lot of reasons to cry.

  “I don’t know, Daddy. I wish you didn’t have to go through this. I wish I could fire them all for you.” That made him laugh and he took another tissue and blew his nose. I rubbed his shoulder, wishing I could do more than hand him tissues. Wished that words were like magic and could fix everything.

  “You don’t have to do that, but thanks for the offer. I had a brief image of whacking Hal with a golf club, but the club would probably break on his hard skull.” We both laughed this time.

  “So many years and he could turn on me like that. Makes it hard to trust people, doesn’t it?”

  “You can trust me,” I said, tossing the tissues in the wastebasket.

  He cupped my cheek. “I know, sweetheart. I trust you above everyone else. And not only because you’re my daughter. Sometimes it’s astounding that I get to call myself your father. I’m a blessed man indeed.” He managed to smile and I smiled as well. I was blessed to get to call him my Dad. I had so many amazing men in my life. How did I get so lucky?

  It made me think of Lucah, and how he’d lost his parents, but at least he still had Ryder and Tate. And me. He’d always have me.

  “I love you, Dad. And if they fuck with you again? They’re going to have me to deal with.” I almost never cursed in front of my father, but it seemed like an appropriate time.

  “Language, Rory. But I appreciate the sentiment.” I gave him one last hug and stood up.

  “Team Clarke!” I said, holding my hand up for a high five. I didn’t think he would understand the more modern fist bump.

  “Team Clarke,” he said, smacking his hand with mine. “I wouldn’t want to be on any other team.”

  “Me neither. So what are you going to do in the meantime? You know, instead of smashing in skulls with golf clubs?”

  He shook his head.

  “Well, we’re going to have to have yet another meeting to discuss what happened at this meeting and get everyone to air their grievances. That way I can give anyone who wants to a chance to leave gracefully and judge where we need to go next. I just sent Hal an email. No response yet.” He glanced at his computer, waiting for that little window to come up to tell him he had a new email.

  “That sounds like a good plan. If you need any help with it, need me to talk to anyone, you know I’m here.” He nodded, glancing at something on his computer.

  “We’ll get this sorted out. If it comes down to having to find new Board members and losing Hal, I guess that’s what we have to do. I need a drink.” He took a key out of his upper drawer and unlocked his bottom drawer.

  “This is only for emergencies, and this feels like one.” Pulling out a bottle of Scotch and two glasses, he plunked them down on the desk. It was a good thing the door was locked.

  He poured a little bit of the amber liquid into each glass and handed one to me.

  “Bottoms up,” he said and we both sipped. I choked a little on my sip, but he swallowed with incident. It took me a little longer to drink the rest of my glass.

  “If anyone busts me for being drunk at work, it’s all your fault,” I said, handing him back the glass.

  “I have some friends in high places. Your secret is safe with me,” he said with a wink. “We’ll get through this.”

  “Yes, we will.”

  I wanted to call Lucah, but I didn’t think his voice would be enough for me. I wanted to see him. To touch him. To explain what had happened. And it was time to give him something he’d been asking for and I’d been wanting for a while. So I picked up the phone and dialed his extension.

  “Lucah Blythe, how may I help you?”

  “I need you. Right now,” I said. There was a pause on his end.

  “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

  “Yes. I’ll text you when I’m there.” I hung up without saying anything else. The only other thing I needed to do was ask Lilia to cover for me. Just this once.

  I grabbed my purse and walked out of my office.

  “I need you to do me a favor,” I whispered, leaning over her desk. “If anyone asks where I am, I ha
d to run an errand and I’ll be back soon.”

  She raised one eyebrow, and I couldn’t help but grin at her.

  “Consider it done, Miss Clarke. Your whereabouts are safe with me. Enjoy.” She sort of sang the last word and winked as I dashed to the stairs and down two floors. To prevent people from stealing supplies, we’d put a keypad on our supply room. There had been talk of installing a camera, but that was voted down, which was the only reason I was willing to meet Lucah here. I punched in the code and went into the room and waited. I kept the lights off and rested against a shelf of paper and other items.

  My heart was going a million miles a minute, and my skin tingled in anticipation of Lucah’s touch. I sent up a quick prayer to whomever would listen for us not to get caught. Not that I cared much at the moment, which was why I’d finally given in.

  The door clicked, letting in light and illuminating Lucah from behind. I’d kept the lights off in the room on purpose.

  “Why, Miss Clarke. Fancy meeting you here. I have come for some paperclips.” He shut the door and walked slowly toward me.

  “Hello, Mr. Blythe. I’m here for paper,” I said, patting the shelf behind me. “But there’s something else I might want,” I said meeting him.

  “And what’s that?” His lips hovered inches from mine and I could feel his breath on my skin.

  “You.” I grabbed his lapels and crushed his mouth onto mine. We only kissed for a moment before he was moving his mouth down my neck. His hands went to lift up my shirt and pull down my panties, my hands went to work on his belt, pants and boxers.

  We made short work of the clothes and then his hands were on my bare ass, lifting me up on a shelf as I fitted my legs around him.

  “Quick and hard,” he said as he positioned himself.

  “Quick and hard,” I agreed and he thrust into me so hard, the shelf rattled and a few boxes of staples clattered to the floor. Neither of us cared as he pulled nearly all the way out and thrust again, causing more things to fall. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him as he slammed into me, over and over. We both cried out and I knew that if someone walked in, there was no way we could pretend we were doing anything other than fucking each other’s brains out.