CHAPTER XVII
I FIND MYSELF IN A FALSE POSITION
The rest of the week passed quickly, in one sense, though everyhour of it dragged for me. I was burning with impatience to hearM. de Sarennes speak some word of his intended departure, and yetcould not bring myself to put the ungracious question, when I sawthe dear pleasure his stay meant to his mother. Never had I seenmore tender, respectful attention than that with which he surroundedher. He would sit by her for hours listening to her tales of hisfather, or relating his own adventures and successes against theEnglish.
"Have a care, my son," she would say, with an anxiety, not unmixedwith pride; "they will not forget these things. They may try towork us evil for them some day."
"No fear, ma mere! not while I am by to defend you," he wouldanswer, with a protecting love that redeemed his confidence frombravado.
He accompanied Angelique and me on all our walks, explaining to usthe simpler mysteries of his wonderful woodcraft, and keenly enjoyingour ready admiration. But my mind was uneasy. With the assurednessof a man accustomed to facile conquest, he pressed his attentionsupon me in a manner to which I was unaccustomed, greatly to myembarrassment.
No woman of my day could, in ordinary circumstances, be at a lossto interpret any attentions she might receive. In our world,gallantry was a science well understood; as exact as war, its everymove had its meaning; its rules were rigidly defined, and no oneever thought of transgressing them; so there reigned a freedomwhich made society a pleasure, and the intercourse with men wasexactly what one chose it should be.
But now, I was brought face to face with a man who, whatever mightbe his birth, had neither breeding nor education; who was accustomedto see his desire and attain it, if possible; who could not understandthat freedom was a compliment to his quality, not an acknowledgmentof his personality; and who, in consequence, misinterpreted merecourtesies in a sense humiliating to the bestower.
Our life was necessarily so intimate, my need of his good-will sogreat, and my regard for his mother and sister so warm, that I wasbound to conceal my annoyance; but at length he forced me to adeclaration, when, hoping that frankness might avail me better thanevasion, I spake so plainly that I left him in no doubt as to themanner in which I received his attentions. He resented it with allthe bitterness of a man unaccustomed to rebuke, and my heart failedme as I thought of the weeks I must pass in his company.
This made me the more anxious to push matters to a conclusion, andmy opportunity came one afternoon, when Angelique snapped the endof her snow-shoe, and was forced to return, leaving us to finishour walk together.
We moved on in silence for some time before I could summon upcourage to venture the question on which I felt so much depended.
"Have you decided on your return to Louisbourg, monsieur?"
"I must first go to Quebec and report to M. de Montcalm," he began,in an ordinary voice, and then, to my surprise, he suddenly brokeinto invective. "We have a new order here now; everything must bereported in a quarter where nothing is known of the needs of thecountry, or the character of the service. If those idiots in Pariswould only mind matters in their own country and leave Canada tothose who know it best, if they would send us troops and notgenerals, if they would send us money and not priests, we shoulddo better. What can you expect of men who think of nothing butparade and their own precious dignity? Who never speak of a Canadianbut with derision? But I forgot. Madame is too recently from Parisherself to take an interest in such matters; to her, doubtless, weare all 'colonists,' and M. de Montcalm is Pope and King."
He stopped and faced me at his last words, and though not unpreparedfor some outburst, I was appalled at the fierceness of his toneand the bitterness he threw into his charge. Before I could reply,he went on:
"My sister has handed me the orders which M. le Marquis de Montcalmet de St. Veran, has been pleased to lay on my mother and myselfconcerning you, but she tells me nothing of your friends inLouisbourg. May I ask whom you would join there?"
"M. de Sarennes, your mother and sister have treated me with aconsideration beyond words. They have subjected me to no questionings,to no inquiries, beyond what I have chosen to reveal myself, andsurely I can look for the same courtesy from you."
"O, madame, madame--I am no courtier from Versailles. Your M. deMontcalm will probably tell you I am a mere 'coureur de bois,' and,if that be the case, you must lay it to my condition if I ask again:Who is it you go to meet in Louisbourg? Is it, by chance, Mme. deSt. Julhien?"
I remembered the Chevalier de St. Julhien was Hugh's colonel, andeagerly caught at the opening, for I had begun to be seriouslyfrightened.
"Yes, monsieur, since you must know, it is Mme. de St. Julhien."
"Oh, ho! ho! Nom de Ciel! But that is a good one!" He roared likea peasant, and I almost screamed in terror. "That is a good one!I have been in and out of Louisbourg for the last ten years andmore, and I have yet to hear of a Mme. de St. Julhien. Come, come,ma belle! I'll wager my head you are no more Mme. de St. Just, thanI am. You have been playing a pretty comedy to these simplespectators, who were too scrupulous to venture a question. It tookthe barbarous coureur de bois to see through the paint! There!There! Don't look so frightened. I can guess, readily enough, whatbrings a pretty woman to the walls of a garrison town."
Oh, the shame, the miserable shame and degradation which overwhelmedme at the brutal insinuations of this well-born clown! And, tocrown it all, he stepped close beside me, and before I had asuspicion of his intent, he threw his arms about my waist and kissedme.
"You wretch! you cowardly hound!" I cried, beside myself at thislast insult. "How dare you treat me thus? I will appeal to M. deMontcalm, and you shall rue this day beyond any you have ever lived.I will appeal to your mother--"
"O, la, la, la, my charming little Mme. Je-Ne-Sais-Quoi, you cancomplain to M. de Montcalm when you see him. As for my mother, Ihardly imagine you will dare to tell her anything which will notexcuse my action. But come, madame, we are not getting on withour conversation at all. Believe me, I am not a bad fellow atbottom. Tell me who it is you are really going to meet in Louisbourg,and we shall see if it be not possible to further your plans."
"Let me go, M. de Sarennes, let me go!" I implored.
"Now, madame, let us talk sensibly. Consider how awkward it may beif I have to pursue these inquiries before others. In any event,I can guess fairly well. Let us see: Madame is an Englishwoman;is well born, wealthy, and, if she will not resent my saying so,is of a certain age. Good! Monsieur is an Englishman; well born,poor, and also of a suitable age. Good! Monsieur is unfortunate inhis present position; is practically in exile. Madame comes overseasalone, save for a chance waiting-woman she picks up. Why? Surelynot for the delights of travel. Monsieur's name is Le ChevalierMaxwell de Kirkconnel. Madame's name is--Ma foi! I haven't theslightest idea what it is. There! madame, have I not drawn theoutline of the comedy cleverly enough, for a mere coureur de bois,a mere Canadian?"
"Let me go, monsieur, let me go!"
"Tell me first, are you not Madame de Maxwell?"
"Yes, yes," I cried, in desperation, eager to seize any chance ofescape.
"Then, madame, believe me, you were very foolish not to say so atonce. I guessed it the very first night I saw you. Now I know theChevalier intimately; in fact, I am under obligation to him formuch good advice; but I will confess he has never seen fit to impartto me the fact of his marriage, which will be a surprise to many."
"O, monsieur, I beg of you that you will never mention it," I cried,in an agony of shame and self-reproach.
"Never, madame; believe me, it was too disappointing a piece ofnews in my own case, for me to have any desire to place others inthe like unhappy position. But allow me first to apologise forfrightening you; pardon me that I cannot look upon it as an insult;and now that I have made the amende honorable, I will go back andanswer your first question. I shall start for Quebec in two days;I shall be back in a week, and then leave for Louisbourg at once,if you fe
el you can trust yourself with me."
I was so completely in his power that I mastered up all my courage,and replied, bravely enough: "M. de Sarennes, I cannot but believeI am safe in the charge of one whom I know as so loving a son, sofond a brother. I trust you, too, as the friend of M. de Maxwell;and I trust you, most of all, because you have learned my secret,and, being a gentleman, I believe you will not betray it."
"I don't know how far I accept the compliment, but at all events,madame, I shall say nothing of your affairs. Remember, though, itrests chiefly with you to prevent suspicion. You must keep the samefree intercourse with me, and never allow my mother or sister togather by word, or sign, that the nature of our conference to-dayhas been otherwise than pleasant. Now that we have come to anunderstanding, no doubt some news of Louisbourg will be welcome."
As he spake we turned back towards the manor; his whole bearing sochanged in a moment that it was hard to believe the bright,pleasant-spoken man by my side was the same creature of rough,brutal instincts and feelings who had tortured and alarmed me socruelly. Little by little I recovered my composure, as he told ofthe life in the fortress, of the probable investment by the Englishin the spring--if they could then muster a sufficient fleet--of M.de Drucour, of M. Prevost, and, best of all, of Hugh, though hetried to disturb my peace by hinting at some understanding betweenhim and Madame Prevost.
"It all depends on you now, madame," he said, significantly, as heheld the door open for me to enter, and fortunately I had firmnessenough to control myself through the long evening and until I couldgain my room.
There I broke down utterly, as I knelt beside my bed, unable torise, or to control the sobs which shook my whole body.
Lucy was beside me in a moment.
"Dear heart! Dear heart! Let me help you," she murmured, raisingme to my feet, and beginning to undress me like a child, crooningover me and quieting me with tender touches and gentle words.
"Oh, Lucy, speak to me, say something to comfort me. I am the mostunhappy woman alive."
"My dear, dear mistress, no one can be so unhappy that our Fathercannot comfort her. This is the time of all others when He isnearest to you. You have but to stretch forth your hand to touchHis robe; you have but to open your heart to have Him come in andfill it with the Peace which passeth understanding. I am an ignorantwoman, but I have this knowledge. I went through a sorrow, and whatI believed to be a disgrace, helpless and alone, and knew of nocomfort till He sent me His.
"I do not know your sorrow, I might not understand it if you toldme, but beside this bed is standing One who knew what it was to bealone more than any other, and He is saying to you, 'Come, and Iwill give you rest.'"
"Dear Lucy, you are such a comfort to me. I do not understand thesethings in the way you do. I have never heard them so spoken of;but oh! I feel so safe while you speak!"
"Now, mistress, I will sing to you"--and she sang her sweet songsof comfort in trouble, of deliverance in danger, of love awaitingus, until my sorrow was stilled and I fell asleep.
M. de Sarennes kept his word in so far as further annoyance wasconcerned, but he displayed a familiarity towards me which calledforth laughing comments from Angelique, and kept me constantly onthe rack. At the end of the week he left on his mission to Quebec,promising to return within ten days, and charging us to preparefor our long journey.
I was at my wits' end to know what to do. I could not refuse to gowith him, no matter what my distrust. I could not make anyexplanation to his mother or sister which would not expose me toa position I shuddered even to contemplate. Would Charles, theiridol, behave towards any woman worthy of respect as he had behavedto me? I was completely in his power; no matter what he had doneor might do, he had but to appear and say, "Come!" and I mustfollow, no matter how my heart might fail me.
All too late I realised what I had brought upon myself by my cowardlyevasion of le pere Jean's commands. I had deceived myself, orrather, I had pretended to be led by outward chance, instead ofhonestly following our compact, and now, I was reaping my reward.That this man was in love with me I could not doubt, but it was alove that made me sick to my very soul when I thought of it. Yet,he was a gentleman, by birth at least; he was answerable to theMarquis for my safe-keeping; and no matter what uneasiness orunquiet I might suffer on the journey, he would not dare to offerme any indignity with Lucy by me and Hugh awaiting me at its end.
With this I was forced to be content, and busied myself withAngelique and Lucy in our preparations. Angelique chattered merrily,regretting she could not take the journey with us; her brother knewthe woods as others knew the town; he could tell every track,whether of bird or beast; he was so cunning that no storm surprisedhim, and so tender he would care for us like children.
"No one is so good to women as Charles! He never gets out of patiencewith me or maman. Let me tell you, you are a lucky girl,'Mademoiselle' Marguerite, to have such a beau cavalier for yourescort. Really, I am jealous of your opportunity; my brother isnearly as fine a man as I am, and I am sure any woman would beproud of my attentions." Thus she ran on, while I listened, heart-sickat the thought of being in the power of that brother, whom I knewfar, far better than she.
But my fortitude was not put to any test, for, on the very eveningof M. de Sarennes's return, Lucy fell ill of some violent fever,and by the morning it was clear that our departure was animpossibility.
"Never mind, madame," said M. de Sarennes, evidently not ill pleased;"I can as well go to my post at Miramichi. I have business therewhich will detain me about a month; no doubt by that time you willbe ready to start."
"Will you take a letter for Louisbourg?" I asked.
He laughed. "You are like all Paris-bred folk, madame! Miramichiis a good hundred leagues from Louisbourg as the crow flies, andmore than twice that as a man can travel. No, no, madame! You mustkeep your letter until you can deliver it in person."
He made a pretence of laughing heartily at my discomfiture, andAngelique innocently joined in, thinking the jest to be my ignoranceof the country, while my heart was bursting with indignation thathe should thus make a mock of my helplessness, for he knew wellwhat it meant to me that Hugh should be ignorant of my whereabouts.