At the sight, Lilette’s stomach twisted in knots. “I don’t feel ready.” She wished Han was beside her, but no one had seen him all day. Merlay had dispatched dozens of guardians to search for him, but so far they hadn’t found him.
Lilette knew how capable Han was. How strong. But she still worried. Something wasn’t right—she knew it deep in her bones.
Her gaze shifted to take in her surroundings. From this vantage point, she could see everything from the Heads’ pavilion down to the city surrounded by an ethereal glow that ended at the liquid darkness of the ocean.
Despite the breathtaking view, Lilette’s eyes kept being drawn to the wastrels, cloths in their hands to gather the pollen. It didn’t seem fair that they had to work from the inner city to the outer until the flowers closed off at dawn, then snatch a few hours of sleep before being up to prepare the feasts.
There had to be a better way. A more fair way. An idea began to take shape in her mind. “Doranna, can you gather as many wastrels as possible under this balcony?”
The wastrel raised a single brow. “Why?”
“Just trust me.”
Doranna took a deep breath and headed to the door. She swung it open, and Lilette heard footsteps. A moment later, Han was ushered in by three native-born Harshens, all of them carrying silk robes and other finery to match Lilette’s.
Han’s gaze flew to her face, to the robes and headdress. He froze, his face expressionless. Doranna gave Lilette a nod and stepped out of sight.
Lilette’s heart raced. Han still didn’t know. What if he refused to marry her? She took a steadying breath and looked at the Harshens. “Leave them and go.”
One of them bowed nearly in half. “Empress, the announcements will start any moment.”
She forced a patient expression on her face. “I know. Thank you.”
At least he didn’t miss the dismissal in her tone. They departed without a word, leaving her alone with Han.
She crossed her arms over her chest. “Where were you?”
“I went looking for Pescal.”
“Looking for him?”
“He escaped the guardians. No one told you?”
“No.”
Han’s mouth tightened. “I’ve been searching for him all day, but it’s like he disappeared. No one has seen him and no one knows where he might have gone, which probably means someone is sheltering him.” Han paused. “Something’s not right here, Lilette.”
She shivered. “I know.”
At the other balcony, Merlay had begun her introductions. Lilette was running out of time. “They’ve made me empress.”
“You never stopped being the empress,” Han replied.
She couldn’t look at him. She took a step deeper into the room. “Han . . . I’m leaving. As soon as the ships are prepared.”
He moved to stand before her. “I thought you wanted to be here more than anything.”
She picked one of the gleaming flowers and twirled it between her fingers. “It doesn’t matter what I want. It never has.”
His brows arched. “It matters to me.”
She finally turned to face him. “Are you in love with me?” Because I’m in love with you. She didn’t say it. She wanted his answer first.
His breath caught in his throat. “Lilette . . .”
Just to make sure he knew exactly what choosing her meant, she stepped forward and pressed her lips against his. He returned her kiss, breathing her in as if she intoxicated him. She liked that, liked the barely contained restraint she could taste on him. What would he ever do if that restraint were gone? She shuddered deliciously at the thought.
She broke away from him and savored the smell of him in her nostrils, the taste of him on her tongue. “I need you, Han. I always have.”
He pressed his forehead against hers, as if finally surrendering. “Where you go, I go.” She heard the promise in his words.
A smile spread across her face. “Where you go, I go.” It felt like a bargain had been struck between them. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, their bodies and hearts entwining as he kissed her, lighting a smoldering coal deep inside her chest.
In the background, she was vaguely aware of Jolin launching into her speech about her pendant, Merlay announcing the first apprentice ever promoted to a full keeper in order to become Head of Plants. The crowd cheered wildly.
It was almost Lilette’s turn. Breathless, she broke away from Han. “There’s more.” She let out a slow breath. “I . . . well, they want me to take you as my consort.”
Shock crossed his face. Lilette forced herself not to look away, to wait as the disbelief melted away into something else.
“We have one other announcement to make,” Merlay cried out over the sounds of the crowd.
Creators’ mercy, I took too long. “I have to go. It’s my turn.” She backed away from him onto the center of the balcony.
“A new leader has been chosen for Harshen,” Merlay continued. “This leader has strong connections to us as well as to this errant land. May I present Empress Lilette.” She threw out her arm in Lilette’s direction.
Thousands of eyes fell on Lilette, their scrutiny burning through her. She threw her shoulders back and kept her expression blank. Now it was her turn to amaze them. She opened her mouth and called for a wind to come through the trees. She gathered pollen from the flowers, curling it into a cocoon, much as the witches did when they sent messages with the wind. A glowing gust twisted through the trees, dancing among the crowd until all conversation ceased. She directed it toward the few dozen wastrels Doranna had gathered at the base of the tree.
When Lilette judged it close enough, she abruptly stopped singing. The wastrels held their jars to the sky as pollen drifted down, dusting their skin like glowing freckles. It fell across Lilette as well, sticking to the tiny hairs of her arms and making her gleam.
Below her, the wastrels’ faces glowed with happiness and pollen. The sight brought a lightness to Lilette’s heart. Other wastrels were came to dust the pollen into their overflowing jars. “Now,” Lilette said with a smile, “perhaps you can enjoy the celebration with the others.”
The wastrels cheered, and many in the crowd joined in. But Lilette noticed a woman staring at her with something close to contempt in her eyes. And she was not the only one. Then the multitude parted to reveal the Harshen man and woman who had dressed Lilette the evening she met Pescal. The man and woman were kowtowing in respect. There was another disturbance in the crowd as more native-born Harshens bowed to Lilette. The keepers murmured among themselves.
“She has already been accepted by those Harshens among us!” Merlay shouted. The other Heads clapped. That seemed to be all the direction the crowd needed to break into applause. Merlay caught Lilette’s gaze before looking pointedly behind her. Lilette turned to find Han wearing the tunic that had been laid out for him.
“Han?” she said, her voice trembling. He caught her face in his hands and kissed her.
Merlay cried out, “And it appears she will have a Harshen prince as her consort to strengthen her claim!”
The people roared in approval. Lilette gripped Han’s wrists and pulled back. “Is all this for them?” She tipped her head toward the crowd. “For Harshen? Or is it for us?” she finished in a whisper.
Han rested his forehead against hers. “All three.”
She searched his gaze. “You’re sure?”
“Since that day in the cherry tree.”
He kissed her again. Lilette couldn’t hear the crowd anymore. Couldn’t feel the night air. There was only Han, his gentle kisses as soft as the moth wings that brushed against her pollen-dusted skin.
Chapter 32
Sometimes things are broken so badly they can never be put to rights again. ~Jolin
“That bit with the pollen and wind was brilliant. If any question your appointment by the Sun Dragon, they won’t any longer.”
Han and Lilette broke apart. Merlay was standing o
n the bridge, one hip resting on the railing. Lilette blushed as she lifted a hand to hide her tender lips.
Merlay laughed at her expression. “And the kiss at the end.” She shook her head. “Breathtaking showmanship and a knack for politics.” She stepped into the library and began looking through a sideboard. “I’m lucky you’re going off to Harshen. Between that public display of your song and your prowess with the crowd, you’d have my job within a month of graduating to a keeper.”
Feeling uncomfortable, Lilette took a step back from Han. “So you’re displeased with how I handled things?”
Merlay spun around, a bottle in her hands. “On the contrary, I’m just glad not to have the competition.” Her smile softened her words a bit, but the tension in Lilette’s chest didn’t ease.
Merlay gave a slight nod to Han. “We appreciate your willingness to serve your country.”
“It’s easy when you offered me what I wanted all along.”
Merlay poured the liquid into two cups. “Yes, well, ruling in your brother’s place won’t be easy after the mess he’s made.”
Han stiffened, and Lilette wanted to slap Merlay.
Strains of music came from below as Merlay handed them cups of dark wine. Motioning for them to follow her, she started down the stairs.
Waiting for them at the bottom were Doranna and Harberd. Merlay gestured to them. “I have a wastrel and a guardian assigned to you from now on. These two volunteered.”
Lilette blinked. “Why?”
“To see to your needs and your protection, of course.”
Lilette studied Doranna’s face. “Are you sure? You’d be leaving Bethel.”
“This is what Bethel wants.”
Merlay smiled. “Everything’s arranged then. Tomorrow, we begin preparing you to rule Harshen. Now I have a very handsome man I have to bring down a few notches.”
Lilette watched Merlay depart, and she felt the future she’d planned for herself in Grove City crumble to ash. But when she glanced at Han, the loss didn’t sting as much.
She motioned to Harberd and Doranna. “You may both have the evening off.”
Doranna stepped forward to take both of their wine glasses and dump the liquid outside.
Harberd watched Lilette, his brow drawn. “I’m sorry, empress, but outside your tree, my orders are to keep you within sight.”
She sighed. “Does Merlay think me in danger even here?”
“I don’t take my orders from Merlay,” Harberd responded.
Lilette grunted, and gratitude warmed her. Bethel she trusted. Han crossed his arms behind his back. “Don’t worry—I’m sure Harberd is excellent at his job. You won’t even know he’s there.” He shot the guardian a significant look.
The man gave a curt nod and melted out the doorway.
“I don’t—” Lilette began.
“Merlay’s right on this,” Han interjected. “He’ll do a good job at being unobtrusive. Besides, another pair of eyes would lessen the pressure on me.”
Just as Lilette felt herself giving in, Jolin appeared in the doorway, her breath short. “Did you see? I held them completely captivated.”
Lilette lifted a single eyebrow. From what she’d heard, Jolin had been completely condescending. “You could have been a little more respectful.”
Jolin waved her comment away. “I’m sure they didn’t even notice.”
“There’s a reason you don’t have many friends, Jolin.” Not the least of which was her propensity for betrayal.
“Oh, please. The mindless masses are only here for the food and the drink.” Jolin must have finally noticed their disapproving looks. “Nothing like you two, of course.” She glanced between Lilette and Han. “Is it true? Are you really going to become an empress and marry?”
Lilette felt Han moving close, as if drawn to her. “It’s true,” he said, his voice oddly husky. He cleared his throat and said louder, “The amber you used in your demonstration?” His fingertips came to rest at the hollow of Lilette’s throat.
Guilt shot through her for letting something precious to Han be used this way.
“Ah.” Jolin pulled it from her pocket.
Han studied the two pieces, sadness in his gaze. “I’d like it back. It has been in my family for a very long time”
Jolin hesitated. “Six hundred years, if you believe the historians, which I personally never do. Historians are like hired portraitists. They always skew the depiction to please the subject.” She set the pieces in Han’s open palm.
Lilette cocked an eyebrow. “And you would do differently?”
Jolin grunted. “I would write it exactly as it happened. No glossing it over or shifting of facts.”
Lilette made a noncommittal noise in her throat.
Han was still staring at the broken pieces in his hands. “Lilette, would you excuse me. I’ve something I need to attend to.”
She studied him, trying to read all the thoughts and emotions that went on beneath his hard exterior. “Will I see you later?”
He gave a small nod. “I’ll find you.” He stepped closer and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I promised I always would, remember?” He strode from the room without looking back.
In the silence, Jolin suddenly clapped her hands. “I’m going with you.”
Lilette started. “You’re what?”
“Going with you. You’re going to need me.”
“But you’re the Head of Plants, and your research—”
“Can be done there just as easily as here. Well, almost. I’ll have to practically empty the library, but Merlay wouldn’t dare refuse me that. Not with everything she has planned for this new technique.”
Lilette dropped her gaze. “Jolin, I don’t think I can ever trust you again.”
Jolin paled. “I was part of that circle—I felt the destruction. I still believe helping Merlay was the right thing to do, but if I can help Harshen rebuild—help them become something better—I will. Besides, you need me.”
Lilette took a deep breath to steel herself. “I don’t want you there.”
A sound of pain slipped from Jolin’s throat. She turned away. “I don’t expect you to understand. You make friends as easily as breathing, but I don’t. I’m cocky and have no tolerance for stupidity. And I’m lonely.”
Lilette knew how hard it was for Jolin to admit this, but it wasn’t enough. Not after what she’d done.
“Merlay is the only friend besides you that I’ve ever had,” Jolin went on. “She’s been there for me when no one else has. When she asked for my help, I gave it.” Jolin turned to face her, and Lilette was shocked by the sight of tears on her cheeks. “I will do the same for you, whether you ask me to or not.”
Lilette was silent for a long time, debating, but then her shoulders sagged. “I’ll try.” It was the most she could promise. “Do you think I can do this? Rule an entire country? I grew up in a fishing village.”
“But that’s not your heritage.” Jolin scrubbed her cheeks. “You were born to rule the world. A small country will be no problem.” A grin broke across her face. “Plus, as empress, you’ll have unlimited access to Harshen’s amber deposits.”
Lilette chuckled.
“See? I can be funny on purpose.”
When Lilette didn’t respond, Jolin nudged her with her elbow. “Stop worrying! You’ve just become an empress—again. This is cause for celebration.”
Lilette shook her head. “I don’t really feel like celebrating.” And she wasn’t ready to spend time with Jolin again. She begged off and went back to Merlay’s balcony. Grove City was filled with golden light, warmth, and music. The night beyond was filled with liquid darkness.
So why did Lilette feel the opposite was true, that everything around her was false—like gold leafing over rotted wood?
Chapter 33
I wanted everything, and the want blinded me to what I stood to lose. ~Jolin
This was the third time Lilette had seen Rinnish destroyed. Her heart ached
at the sight. Parts of the city had been burned black, and most buildings had collapsed completely. Much of the ramparts around the palace had crumbled, only part of the north ramparts remained. Miraculously, the palace itself appeared to still be standing.
The city was hushed, as if hunched under the angry clouds and waiting for a blow. Lilette shook her head. Merlay had said the clouds and lightning would ensure the people cowed before her. But Lilette didn’t want them cowing. She wanted them to look at her and see hope.
And she didn’t completely trust Merlay. Lilette would do this her own way. Standing at the bow, she sang, forcing the clouds back until the air glittered with sunshine. Finished, she looked down at the beautiful horses they had brought for her. Tears pricked her eyes when she remembered her elephant—how proud she had stood and how hard she had fallen.
She stepped forward, Han on one side, Doranna on the other. Both of them had hands on their weapons.
Jolin edged up behind her. “You don’t all really expect me to ride one of those, do you?”
Lilette smiled. “I do, in fact.”
Jolin groaned. Beside her, Galon gave a mischievous grin as he helped her mount. Lilette noticed his hands lingered on her outer thigh, and Jolin gave him a secretive grin.
Han rode beside Lilette, for this was more than just an empress riding through the streets—it was also her and Han’s wedding procession. They wound up the city’s streets, from the mostly gutted slums by the docks to the affluent houses with inner courtyards.
Over fifty witches and a small army of guardians surrounded them—and that didn’t count the two hundred gray-clad wastrels, all of whom had eagerly followed Lilette after that bit with the pollen.
Lilette couldn’t help but see this for what it was—an invasion. But she’d come prepared for that too. More than once, Harshens suddenly attacked—a few of them wearing the uniform of an imperial guard or an elite. The guardians beat them back almost effortlessly.
Finally, they passed the ruined palace gates. Inside, the courtyard was filled with the rubble from the three fallen walls, though the dead seemed to have been cleared away. The harem was practically gone, crushed beneath the falling north ramparts.