Page 36
Author: Tiffany Reisz
Nora’s spine stiffened in fury. She took a deep breath and met Søren’s eyes. “You don’t own me anymore, Søren. ” She said the words slowly, carefully, enunciating one syllable at a time. “Now,” she said, shoving her anger down, “is there anything else, sir?”
“No. There is nothing else. You’ve made up your mind about him. You won’t let him go. And you won’t turn him into one of us. And so you will let him turn you into the one thing you most fear becoming. ”
“What? Happy?”
“Boring. ”
Nora gasped and raised her hand to slap Søren’s perfect face. But she’d forgotten how fast he could strike. He grabbed her by the wrist before she could touch him. He pressed her flat back against the elevator. Pinning her right hand above her head while his free hand slipped through the slit in her skirt. Hard and fast he shoved two fingers deep inside her.
“Stop,” she ordered but he only pushed deeper. She panted and cursed him, hating him for how well he knew her body. His probing fingers found her most secret places and dragged her to the edge.
“You were a child when I fell in love with you,” Søren said into her ear. His warm breath on her neck sent shivers through her whole body. “You’re still a child. ”
“I don’t want this,” she said, even as her body betrayed her. Her inner muscles clenched tight around his fingers, her body grew wetter and wetter with each deft movement of his hand.
“I have kept nothing from you. I gave you everything I am. I have risked my calling for you. I will not allow you to destroy yourself. ”
“How am I destroying myself?” She gasped the words. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. “By loving someone else?”
“By denying yourself. You don’t love him. You only love that he loves you. This is what you love. ” Søren turned his hand and slipped a third finger inside her. His thumb found her clitoris and rubbed it. “Giving yourself to me completely. Tell me this isn’t who you really are. ”
“It isn’t,” she said even as she spread her legs wider and pushed her hips into his hand again and again.
“Liar. ” Søren punctuated his word with a dexterous twist of his fingers, and Nora came hard on his hand, gasping with each sharp, spiking contraction. She leaned against him as the pleasure waned, and he stroked her hair. For a moment she let herself forget she didn’t belong to him anymore.
Nora stood up straight as Søren pulled his hand out of her. He took a black handkerchief out of his pocket and began casually wiping off his fingers.
“I hate you sometimes. ” Nora said the words without venom or remorse.
Søren reached out and caressed her burning face.
“You’ve been saying that since you were fifteen. ”
“You want me to pick you over Wes,” she said, shaking her head. “I won’t do it. ”
Søren leaned in again. His hand moved to her neck, his mouth brushing her shoulder.
“The choice was never Wesley or me,” he said, cupping her breast. Nora felt a rising panic. If she didn’t stop him he would take her here on the floor with Zach just outside. If she didn’t stop herself, she would let him. “The choice is Wesley or you. ”
Søren gripped her by the neck. His fingers dug into her soft skin. It hurt and yet for all the world she didn’t want it to stop. She wanted him to shove her onto the floor, wanted him to hurt her, bruise her, mark her and take everything from her…but she remembered her promise to Wesley, felt a new panic at the thought of losing him. The house would be so empty without him…
Nora pressed close to him. She would never want anyone as she wanted Søren.
“Jabberwocky,” she whispered into Søren’s ear.
Søren’s hands were off her in an instant. Even she was shocked that she’d spoken the word. In all their years together, this was only the second time she’d safed out.
Søren looked at her. She expected to see fury but he seemed strangely pleased.
“Let me go, Søren,” she said, too tired to fight him anymore. “I’m on my own now. I love who I love and I fuck who I fuck. ”
Søren reached for the key again but did not turn it.
“You love whom you love. You fuck whom you fuck. I see you do need your editor after all. Go. ” With an arrogant smirk he flipped the key and opened the door. Nora rushed out and into Zach’s waiting arms.
“Aren’t you forgetting something, Eleanor?” Søren called out after her. Nora grimaced and took a deep breath. She tried smiling at Zach before she turned back to Søren, now standing on the threshold between the hallway and the elevator.
Returning to him, she bobbed the necessary curtsy. But it was not enough for Søren. He took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. His fingers were still damp from being inside her.
“My little one…” he breathed, turning his face so that his cheek pressed against her forehead. He had done that so many times to her. How many? A million? It never failed to make her forgive him. She met his eyes and smiled, her anger momentarily forgotten. He was still too powerful a force in her life to leave things unfinished between them. She pulled away reluctantly, wondering if she would have to spend the rest of her life leaving this man.
“Oh, cloro al clero. ” She sighed and Søren laughed. It was the real laugh she heard so rarely these days and missed so much. She smiled back and returned to Zach with only the hint of regret in her heart.
Zach still waited patiently for her. Something had indeed changed in him during his time with Søren. She reached out for her coat, but Zach gave her his hand instead and pulled her close to him. Just because she could, she unwrapped the white scarf from around Zach’s bicep. Zach looked down at her and she winked. She tossed the white scarf at Søren’s feet. Søren glanced down at the scarf and then up at her again.
“How easily you forgive, Eleanor. ” Søren stared at them with his wise and all-knowing eyes. “How freely you absolve the sins of others. Tell me, little one, when the time comes, how will you absolve yours?”
Nora had no answer. Søren merely smiled again and took a step back into the elevator. The doors closed and Søren descended into the pit below.
Hell was due for another harrowing.
23
Zach greeted the cool March night air with gratitude as they exited the stifling atmosphere of the club and returned to the parking garage.
“I’m sorry, Zach,” Nora said as they reached the car. “I should have warned you about Søren. ”
“I can understand now why you were reluctant to. It must have been very difficult to have a relationship with him…for so many reasons. ”
Nora threw her coat in the car. “Tell me about it. It was like being with a married guy, except this guy happens to be married to God and the entire Catholic Church. That’s a lot of competition. ”
“I’m glad you left him. He’s—” Zach searched for the right word “—terrifying. ”
“Thought I was terrifying. ”
“You were. Then I met him. ”
“You’ve never met a Jesuit before, have you?”
Zach gave her a blank look.
“Søren was trained as a Jesuit. They’re an infamous militant religious order. Otherwise known as ‘God’s Marines. ’ They used to eat Protestant heretics,” Nora said with a dark grin. “But these days they’re known more for their rather liberal stance on abortion, homosexuality and…priestly celibacy. ”
“Very liberal stance, I see. Are you sure he’s on God’s side?” Zach asked.
Nora laughed. “Very sure. And believe me, God’s relieved that he is. But don’t overreact. Søren was just fucking with your head. It’s his favorite part of the body to fuck with. Well, maybe second favorite. ”
“I can’t believe you’re defending him. ”
“Well, he was defending me. ”
Zach looked at her. “What do you mean?”
“Back there with you. He’s worried you’re going to hurt me if you and I get involved. I mean, technically you’re still married. Søren’s really protective of me still. He wasn’t just trying to be a bitch to you, Zach. He was making sure you knew that if you hurt me, you’d have to answer to him. ”
Zach blanched a little. He remembered the day he’d had to answer to Grace’s father about what had happened between them. That had possibly been the second worst day of his life. And Grace’s father was a teddy bear compared to Nora’s Father.
“Nora, I’ll no more answer to him than you should have to. He dragged you away and ordered you around like you were his own personal property. You aren’t even with him anymore. House rules or not, he has no right to treat you like that. ”
Nora took her keys out of her coat pocket and held one up.
“Here. Want to go back in and tell him that?”
Zach stared at the key and remembered the dread he felt around Nora’s priest.
“Yeah,” Nora said, spinning the key ring on her finger. “I thought so. How about this one?” she said, holding up another key.
“Is that the key to the Aston Martin?” Zach raised an eyebrow.
“It is. Forgive me for Søren?” she asked dangling the key.
Zach took the key ring from her hand. “I’ll forgive you for anything. ”
“I’m going to hold you to that, Zach. ”
Zach slipped in the driver’s seat while Nora entered on the passenger side.
“You can drive a stick shift, can’t you?”
“Of course. Just haven’t ever done it on the right side of the road,” Zach said and grinned at her.
Zach started the car and felt the engine’s gentle vibrations run through his body.
“Now behave yourself,” Nora said. “I’ve got a friend on the force, but he says he’s fixed all the speeding tickets he can for me. ”
“If I get a ticket in an Aston Martin, I plan to frame it and put it on my desk. ” And with that Zach gunned the engine and spun out of the parking garage.
“So what did Søren say to you tonight?” Nora asked. Zach looked at her. She sounded a little too casual.
“He did more showing than telling. ”
“I suppose you approved of that. What did you think of my room?”
“I think you should clean it a little more often,” Zach said, pulling the white garter from his pocket and tossing it at Nora. “Yours?”
Nora laughed as she played with the delicate piece of lace.
“I see Sheridan left me a souvenir. Naughty little slut. Too bad she’s engaged now or we could have a threesome with her. ”
Zach’s groin tightened a little at the erotic tone in Nora’s voice. He hated what a stereotypical male he was when it came to the thought of two beautiful women together.
Zach was silent for a few moments as he worked up his courage.
“Nora, talking with Griffin this evening—”
“Oh, God, Griffin. He’s the reason gags were invented. What did he say?”
“He told me about what it was like when you and Søren were together. About what he did to you. Why did you stay with him so long?”
Nora only laughed.
“Zach, there’s an alley up here on the left. Pull in and park. I want to show you something. ”
Nervously, Zach obeyed. He turned the car off and looked at Nora. She unbuckled her seat belt and before Zach could react, she had reached across him, reclined his seat and straddled his lap. She ran her hand down his chest and unzipped his pants. Zach inhaled sharply as she took him in her hand.