Suddenly, I feel free , and without hesitation, I step into the light and reach for him . Once I’m in the light, however, the ache starts through my body slowly at first, then moving faster until it beat s at me. I clutch onto my chest as it feels like someone has punch ed a hole through it. I call out to Tharin, but my words are sluggish and the pain, so much pain! I feel myself being pulled under and I call once again to Tharin, telling him that I choose him. I choose him even knowing he loves another. Then all goes black.
I’m curl ed up in a ball of pain in the darkness once again. Somehow, this feels different, more real than the shelter that I built around myself. I feel people holding me as if to keep me anchored , not allowing me to slip away into the darkness again. I hear Tharin talking to someone, but I can’t make out his words. I try to speak , to ask him to make the pain go away, but the pain keeps me from saying anything . Then suddenly …it’s gone. I open my eyes and a beautiful child is looking down at me. She has golden hair and her large brown eyes are filled with so much love and wonderment I want to cr y. She gently stroke s my cheek, then leans down and kisses it.
When she moves away I hear her whisper, “Sleep , child of Senestra, peace will come to you this night.”
I thank her quietly and let sleep take me.
*
Chapter Thirty Lily
I wake to the sound of someone snoring nearby. The bed I’m in feels unusual, but soft and comfortable. The air is filled with the scent of fresh cut grass and sweet jasmine . I sink lower into the strange softness wanting to lose myself in sleep once again. The snoring grows louder and without coming out of the covers too much, I turn over to face the snoring perpetrator.
Across from me in a similar type of bed is Tolan. Sitting next to him is Julia, but s he’s slumped over him with her head on his chest. Tolan has one arm around her shoulder and his other hand is placed gently on her head. He’s sound asleep with a content ed smile on his face. Julia, howev er, is in a deep sleep and she’s the one snoring. I knew it had to be her . I would recognize that snore anywhere.
I smile at the scene and lie for a minute watching them. Somehow , they have found each other. It was rough going at first, but looking at them now , it’s as if they have always been this way. A s I lay watching , I realize they were meant to meet, they were meant to be here, now, in this place together. In a short time , they were able to find one another, recognize it, fought and resisted it, and then gave into it.
I look at my sleeping friend and I feel so happy for her. With everything that she ha s gone through in her life , she deserves to be happy . She deserves to be with Tolan . I wonder if I’ll find what she now has and my thought s instantly turn to Tharin.
I don’t remember much of what happened earlier. I think I passed out, but I can’t remember why. I do remember the excruciating pain and there was a child, too. Or was I dreaming? I was exhausted. It had been a long day with so much happen ing . Remembering Tharin’s meeting, I sit up quickly, looking for him even though I know he wouldn’t be here.
The room is dimly lit with a panswa floating in the farthest part of the room. I t grows a little brighter as I sit up . I wave my hand at it to stay dim, not wanting to wake Tolan and Julia . To my amazement , the panswa returned to its original state. Did it just do what I wanted it to do? I look at it curiously as if it would respond and say “Yes , you did .”
I look about me and find that we’re in a circular room. Our beds look like hammocks made from tree branch es that gently sway when we move. Just when I’m about to remove the covers, I stop and bring the strange blanket up to my face for a closer inspection. The panswa once again brightens . A gain I wave at it and it does as I wish. I exam ine the cover closely and find that it’s made of grass . The thickest and softest grass I’ve ever felt , and woven into it are sweet jasmines . I try to pull a section of it away to see how it’s sewn together, but there’s no seam. I scoot around me to take a look at the bed I’m resting on and realize it’s an actual oak branch, full of leaves . No matter how much I move, the leaves remain in place. Yet, when I pick up one of the leaves, it pulls away easily. When I lay it back down, it melts back with the rest of leaves as if it had never been disturbed . I follow the branch to the wall, trying to see how it’s built so that it sways with my movements. I’m on my knees trying to exam ine where the branch connects to the wall and realize it’s growing right out of the wall . The branch, I mean the bed, which is the branch ― is a living part of the tree!
I put both hands on the wall trying to feel it against my palms . I t feels like smooth lacquered wood , but it’s all natural. I place my nose to the wall and breathe in the woodsy scent.
I pull back and find tha t I can see the fine grains . I’m startle d to find that the panswa is floating next to my face. Instead of it growing brighter, it just moved closer to help me see, leaving the rest of the room dimly lit. I reach out for it expecting it to be hot , only to find that the round light sphere is cool to the touch. I gently take hold of it . I t pulsates against my hands , oddly comforting . Then I remember what Tharin told me. The panswa is a living plant and the elves have found a way to weave its energy to produce light. In remembering my short lesson with Tharin, the panswa grows brighter as if happy that I’m able to make the connection. I quickly put my finger to my lips and it dims back down.
I scan the room once again. We’re in the oak tree. That’s another thing Tharin told me earlier . The trees are our protectors. We needed shelter and the tree provided it. I sit back and think about that for a minute. Earlier I remember standing in front of the oak tree and it didn’t look like it would be big enough to shelter any of us. Not unless Tharin was planning for each of us to climb the tree and hide within the branches. In a way we did just that because here we a re. We must be inside the tree. But how? There are no windows or any door that I can see. The only things in this wooded room are the beds, the covers , the panswa and the stump Julia is sitting on. I turn to throw my legs off the bed when I notice I’m a few feet above the floor . I steady myself to make the jump . Somehow knowing what I want, the branch slowly lowers me until my feet gently touch the soft wood floor . Once off the bed, the branch returns to its original position.
I hold the panswa afraid I won’t be able to keep it afloat. I walk along the wall trying to find a doorway when from behind me a voice whispers.
“Just ask it to let you out,” offers Tolan.
I turn quickly to see him watching me with hooded eyes. He’s gently playing with Julia’s hair as she continues to sleep.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper back, “I thought you were asleep.”
“How can anyone sleep with this thunderous moose snoring on my chest,” he replies laughing gently.
As I walk closer to him, he makes a gesture with his hand . The panswa slips from my hold, returning to its original spot. Coming to stand nex t to where Julia is sitting, I notice her awkward position and say , “Tolan, she looks uncomfortable.”
He looks down at her quickly and sees how she’s nearly falling o f f her seat . He quietly asks , “Here, help me.”
He takes his hand from her head and wraps it around her shoulder. He effortlessly pulls her forward so that she’s on top of him and indicates I help out with her legs. I place her legs along side of him and he hugs her close and gently rolls her over so she now lies between him and the wall. I hear the rustling of the leaves as the branch accommodates her weight and expands to give them more room.
I stand watching as he fusses over Julia, calling for the blanket on my bed . He spends the next few minutes making sure she’s covered and comfortable. Julia sighs contently, snuggles even closer to him and goes back to snoring. Tolan laughs at her , happy to have her next to him .
“You love her, don’t you?” I’m startle d by my boldness. I would never ask, but it i s Julia. I want to make sure that what I saw earlier while they slept is real.
Without missing a beat he says quietly, “Yes, I do.”
I sit down on the tree stump, quietly watching my friend sleep .
Tolan reaches out for my hand asking, “What’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing …i t’s just that she so deserves to be happy, Tolan.”
“I’ll make her happy, Lily . I promise.” He continues to hold out his hand . I take it, holding on tightly.
“Good, because if you don’t I’ll kick your elfin butt.”
He laughs, and after a moment he asks , “Lily, will you tell me about her bruises? I’ve offered, but she won’t let me heal them. Why?”
I pause for a minute trying to decide if I should tell him or let Julia. Then again, knowing Julia, she would never tell, at least not everything. For some odd rea son, despite everything Frank and Chris have done to her all these years, she doesn’t want revenge. She just wants to put it behind her and walk away.
“She doesn’t want you to heal them because she doesn’t believe she deserves it, not from you.”
He gives me a perplexing look, “Why not?”
“Because, Tolan, in her eyes you’re too good for her.”
“But that’s ridiculous!” I nod at him , not sure I should go on. He takes my hand again, urging me to continue .
“Her stepdad beats her on a daily basis,” I start slowly. I look at him and wince as his grip on my hand becomes tighter, but I ignore the pain . “Frank, her stepdad, owns a mix ed martial arts school. It’s nothing big, but he still has a few students, maybe two or three now. Most of them, if not all, left because of how he or Chris would use her as an example and disguise the beatings as lessons.”
“Chris?” he interrupts.
“Her stepbrother,” I answer taking a deep breath.
“Didn’t any of the others at the gym try to help her before they quit?” he ask s. I have to let go of his hand when his grip becomes too painful. He gives me an apologetic look and then urges me to continue .
“A few tried,” I answer , “but it always came out in Frank’s favor, and it was always bad for Julia afterward. In our area, Frank has a very scary reputation. People are afraid of him, Tolan. As for Chris, he’s the worst. Julia lives in fear every day and every night knowing that sooner or later he would end up killing her or …” I stop, unable to continue . Tolan gently shakes my hand again, urging me to go on. “She was a fraid that one night he would rape her. He would say as much every chance he could just to terrorize her. And Julia would rather die than let that happen.”
“Lily,” he interrupted , “your foster mother, she’s a social worker . Why didn’t she help?” He spoke his words carefully . Trying not to sound accusing, but we both kn o w what he ’s asking.
“I wanted to go to Marilyn, but Julia said no. She was afraid of something happening, not just to me, but also to Marilyn. I didn’t care about myself, but Marilyn, she’s the only mother I know. And for Julia , too, when her mother disappeared. We couldn’t take the chance of her getting involved.” I pause trying to get my words together, “Frank beat her again on the night of my birthday. I found out two days later, that’s when you and Tharin came for me. That’s why I asked you to get her for me. I couldn’t leave her behind. Not with them.”
I told him about the times we would meet in the mornings before school . There would be new bruises, new cuts and even broken bones . I spoke of how we would try and cover as much of the bruising we could with makeup, until finally Julia just didn’t care anymore what she looked like. When he asked me about Julia’s mom’s disappearance, I told him that one day she was just gone. No letter, or calls, nothing. Before Julia, it was her mom who took the beatings . After her mom’s disappearance , Frank was a suspect . But he had friends in the police station and there was never enough evidence to hold against him. Not a full month went by after her mom’s disappearance before Frank told Julia that she n eeded fighting lessons for self-defense. It was the beginning of her living nightmare. She was only fifteen at the time. As for Chris, he had an unknown hatred for her that neither of us could figure out. In the end, we decided he was just evil. When Tolan asked if Julia believes that Frank had killed her mother, I answer yes. Julia believes it because if her mother were alive , she would have taken Julia with her.
When I’m done we sit quietly, both lost in our own thoughts. I watch as he hugs Julia tight and I know that Frank and Chris are now her past. Tolan will never let her go back to them. I think about that for moment. I came to find Lucas . I wanted Julia with me so that she wasn’t left behind with those pigs, but always with the knowledge that she would return with us . If Tolan has his way, I will be going back to San Diego with only Lucas, and that’s if Lucas wants to go back. I shake my head thinking, what am I doing here?
“What of you, Lily?” asks Tolan quietly.
I look at him and shrug my shoulders, “There’s not too much you probably don’t already know. If anything, I should be asking you who I am.” I try laughing it off, but I really do want him to tell me.
He shakes his head as if reading my mind and says, “No, Princess. That’s something you should be asking your betrothed.”
“I don’t know, Tolan,” I answer looking around the room again . “I don’t think Tharin even likes me. He’s always in a bad mood when he’s around me.”
“My brother can be moody,” he replies with a little laugh . “But you also have to remember…Tharin is the future king of the realm. A realm that consists of thirteen clans spread across the globe.”
“Across the globe?” I reply in disbelief. I imagine d that Velesi was a small country with all the clans within it. I also know that Tharin is the future king, but when Tolan puts it that way, it explains the huge burden of responsibility that Tharin carries with him .
“He’s never been a boy, you know,” he continues.
I look at him puzzled , “What do you mean?”
“Being born the youngest twin in a royal line is so much easier. You have the same benefits as your older brother, but less of the responsibility.” He gently pulls his arm from under Julia’s head and sits him self up, leaning back against the wall. When he looks at me again I notice the dark circle s under his eyes as he tries to stifle a yawn.
“When we were young, while my cousins and I were out playing with children our own age, my brother was in the war room being tutored on war strategies. On our eighth birthday , I got my first lesson in archery , my brother was already out hunting with the royal guards. I’m not talking about game, Lily. I’m talking about rebels and criminals. You see where I’m going with this?”
I nod without speaking, waiting for him to continue .
“Tharin was born with a sword in one hand and the crown in the other. He learned at an early age that he had a duty, a responsibility , and when our mother passed away he took his duty and responsibility to heart. We were only ten years old when she died. Of course, our father mourned her loss and dealt with it the only way he knew how . He focused all his attention on raising a strong heir to the throne . He was determined that when he goes to meet our mother, Velesi will continue to be ruled by a hand as strong as his own.”
“How di d your mother die?” I interrupt again .
“Childbirth,” he replies , a look of pain and anger flitting across his face.
“Childbirth?”
“Yes,” he pauses for moment, then “our sister, E’leiana. She was the spitting image of our mother; elegant, beauti ful and the sweetest soul you’d ever meet. You’d have like d her, Lily. In fact, I would imagine that you would have be en good friends.”
“Would have? Where is she?”
Again a pause, looking directly at me he answers, “With our mother.”
I take a startle d breath and without thinking I take his hand saying, “Tolan, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I shouldn’t have asked.”
He squeezes my hand, “Don’t worry Lily, you’re right, you didn’t know. Now you do. Now you know why Tharin is the way he is. He blames himself for our sister’s death. It was a failed kidnap
attempt, which Tharin and I had a hand in preventing. It was Tharin who took it upon himself to keep E’leiana close to him. However, all of us, including Tharin, were so focused on the fight that ensued that he lost track of E’leiana until the final moment . By then, when he realized what was happening, it was too late. He was unable t o reach her in time. Afterward , we searched desperately for her. It took several hours before we found her.”
When he pauses, I prompt him by saying, “She was killed.”
He shakes his head slowly, k eeping his eyes on our hands as he replies, “No. She was alive, barely. She was badly beaten and was comatose for more than a week. My father, Tharin and I sat at her bedside through it all . We stayed by her side until she finally passed. She was only eight.”
I sit in horror. I’m not sure where it came from, but a slow rage starts to build inside of me. Who could do such a thing? Who but someone filled with evil would beat a child to death? Then a slow realization dawns on me . I don’t want to know, but I find myself asking, “Tolan, who killed her?”
The room was quiet before, now there is a heavy silence that hangs between us. Tolan looks up from our hands and answers quietly, “Lucas.”
The room starts to spin and I stand abruptly, snatching my hand from his. Tolan sits up quickly, his legs off the bed. As he reaches for me he says, “Lily, I’m sorry. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you, but eventually you would have to know.”