Chapter 3
Giving Up
Lasinna sat quietly in her teacher’s study, waiting with her hands in her lap, wondering what he wanted to talk to her about. She couldn’t think of anything she’d done wrong, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t something.
Books and scrolls and pieces of parchment filled most of the office along with a sturdy oak desk and matching chair just behind. The room was dark, lit only by a few candles and a small fireplace. Lasinna knew outside the sun was shining brightly on a beautiful day, but her teacher liked to keep his office dark. He always said it helped him concentrate.
Her teacher was the town’s Mage. He taught all the kids, ages eight to fifteen. He was a good teacher, and he tended the town and its people as well as any Mage that had come before him, but after seven years, Lasinna was glad she was almost done with being his student. Mostly due to the fact that they didn’t always get along.
Lasinna was not one to back down from an argument no matter what the topic, and sometimes it didn’t even matter if she was right or not. She figured that’s why she didn’t have many friends, but that had never really bothered her. She had one true friend, and that’s all she needed.
Lasinna thought of Owen as she sat there in her teacher’s study. She’d been friends with Owen since the first day of school seven years ago when Mage Warnett had sat them next to each other. Socially, he was an outcast like her, so they had bonded quickly. His red hair, like fire, didn’t match his mild, almost timid personality, but Lasinna had seen his passion for the world and for life. She knew her parents assumed one day they’d get married, and even in her own mind, Lasinna had pictured it on more than one occasion. But she also knew that was not the life she was going to live. She was going to become a Mystic.
In the world of Livinthia, the power of Magick ran through everything, including the beings who inhabited the land. For that reason, everyone could use Magick. Most Humans, however, never fully developed the ability to control Magick and could only touch the energy Magick created. For these Humans, Magick was like the air; they could feel it and see its effects and even create things like wind by waving their hands. But making the air become a tornado or changing it from hot to cold was beyond their ability. There were some Humans, however, that could take the Magick flowing through them and actually create with it. These Humans were called Mystics.
The door behind Lasinna opened, breaking into her thoughts. She tensed without meaning to as she heard her teacher shuffle past and around to the other side of the desk where his high-backed chair stood rigidly. He took his time sitting down and then sighed heavily once he was seated. He didn’t speak immediately, and a moment extended in silence as Lasinna studied her teacher.
Mage Warnett was still young. He had been in charge of the town for eight years now, but his features were younger than any other Mage that Lasinna had seen. He hadn’t yet acquired the grey hair and rounded belly that seemed always associated with the men of his position. He did wear the flowing robes that were a staple of any Mage, but he always choose more subdued colors than most. Probably because it matched his personality.
Finally, Mage Warnett spoke into the silence. “Do you know why I asked you here today, Lasinna?
As if instinctually, Lasinna blurted out, “I didn’t do it.”
“Didn’t do what exactly?” her teacher questioned, leaning forward.
“I don’t know. I thought I was in trouble,” she answered.
He gave a soft chuckle. “It’s not wise to always assume that you’ve done something wrong. Then if you actually do something wrong, it might not feel like you have.”
“Okay,” Lasinna answered as if she understood what he was saying. “But then why am I here?
“Good question,” the Mage answered, leaning back again. “I wanted to talk to you about your plans once you finish your schooling.”
This got Lasinna’s attention. She knew exactly what her plans were. She was going to Isolan, the prestigious school of the Mystics, to learn the art of Magick. The only problem was in order to even be considered for acceptance into Isolan she would first have to spend another two years under the tutelage of Mage Warnett. She wasn’t thrilled about that, but she would endure if it meant becoming a Mystic.
“I know you wish to become a Mystic,” her teacher said, as if reading her thoughts. “Which would mean two years of further study as my student.”
Lasinna nodded, trying to hide her excitement. Her mind raced as she realized why Mage Warnett had called her into his office. He was going to offer her the private courses in Mystic training. Only one other student in the last eight years had been offered this opportunity, and he had gone on to Isolan. Lasinna had heard, however, that he hadn’t passed the final acceptance test to become a Mystic, so instead, he’d become a Scholar in the Hunath Realm. Lasinna knew she’d pass the test though. She wouldn’t allow herself to fail.
“The studies are extensive,” the Mage continued. “Every day would be filled with pouring over books and manuscripts and doing exactly what I say. You would learn to eat, breathe, and live Magick. There’d be no time for anything else.”
Lasinna’s heart pounded. She knew what these studies meant. She’d dreamed about this for as long as she could remember. She’d do anything to be given this chance.
“We have not always seen eye to eye on everything, Lasinna. Actually, very rarely do we agree on anything. But I have always given you high marks, and you have always impressed me with your learning. And in my mind, you have always been the one student I would offer the advanced studies to.” Mage Warnett sighed again. “If only this was a perfect world.”
The excitement rushing through Lasinna put a blinder over her comprehension, and she did not catch the meaning of her teacher’s last statement. But as he continued, reality slowly dawned on the sixteen-year-old girl.
“Yesterday, I met with your parents and had a discussion about this very topic. I went to them explaining what my offer would entail for you and the opportunity it held. I told them how much you wanted this and how hard you had worked. I told them how much it meant to you. But your parents…”
Mage Warnett cleared his throat, hesitating momentarily before continuing.
“Your parents have other plans for what is best for you. They explained that with your sister’s ailing condition and the state of your farm, they could not spare you to further schooling. They said that they needed you at home where you could be of more practical use. In short, they told me they would not consent to enrolling you in the advanced studies.”
It took only a second for the weight of her teacher’s words to drag Lasinna’s heart to the ground. Her mind, for the first time that she could ever remember, went completely blank. All she could do was stare.
“I’m sorry, Lasinna. Like I said, if this was a perfect world, this conversation would be going very differently. But you must respect your parents’ wishes. We both must. They know what is best for you. It might not seem like it now, but you are needed at home with your family. And there is nothing more important than family.”
Still, all Lasinna could do was stare. She heard her teacher, but she couldn’t understand what he was saying. She was underwater, floating through nothingness. Everything was murky and dark, and she couldn’t breathe.
Her teacher spoke again. She saw his mouth move, but this time no sound came out at all. She didn’t care what he was saying anyways. She had to get out of there. That’s all she knew. She had to get out. So she ran.
She ran out of her teacher’s office. She ran away from what he was saying. She burst out of the building and into the sunlight. The brightness blinded her as she ran.
She passed building after building of the small town. She passed people, who stared after her as she hurried on. She passed it all as she ran.
Then she saw the library up ahead. She just had to get around to the other side of it, and she’d be safe. There she could rest.
Her legs were tired as she reached the library and rounded the building, heading for the back. She turned the last corner and finally let her body stop. She finally let herself rest. She could rest because of who was waiting for her behind the library. Her one true friend sat in the shade of the building with a book open in his hands.
After a moment, Owen noticed he wasn’t alone and took his eyes off his reading material. He looked up at her and must have seen the emotion in her face, for he stood quickly.
“Are you okay? What happened?”
She opened her mouth to respond, but she couldn’t. She wanted to tell him everything. She wanted to scream and yell and cry about the misfortune that had unexpectedly befallen her; the injustice of it all. But that wasn’t what she said. Instead, she swallowed her feelings and spoke simply.
“I have to leave.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, stepping toward her.
“I’m running away.” Her voice was steady, but she felt her mind tremble.
Owen looked at her, and Lasinna could see the understanding settle in his eyes. “He didn’t offer you the advanced studies.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Lasinna replied quickly.
“But they won’t let you into Isolan unless you’ve had teachings with a Mage.”
“They will if I pass the acceptance test.”
“And how are you going to do that?” he questioned. “I know you’re smart, Lasinna, but this seems crazy even for you.”
Lasinna knew it was crazy, but that wasn’t going to stop her. “I’ll figure something out along the way. I just know I have to go.”
Owen nodded. He took a moment, letting his eyes fall to the ground before returning them to her. “Then I’m going with you.”
Lasinna knew this had been coming. She knew Owen would want to go with her. “But you can’t.”
“Why not?” he asked, defiantly. “Why do you get to decide?”
“Because you don’t really want to.” Owen opened his mouth to argue, but she talked over him. “You only want to go because I’m going. But that’s not a reason. I won’t allow you to travel halfway across the lands just because of me. I have to do this. You don’t.”
“But I…” Owen’s voice trailed off as their gazes met. She realized, staring into his eyes, that she hadn’t been the only one to have pictured their future together. A future that was drifting farther away with every passing second.
“I have to do this,” she said again, feeling a hallowness settle in her heart that she knew would be there for many years to come.
“I don’t understand,” Owen said, dropping his gaze.
“I know it’s hard.”
“It doesn’t seem so hard for you,” he replied with resentment in his voice.
Lasinna stepped closer to him and reached out, taking his hand in hers. “It is hard for me. But I made this decision a long time ago.”
He looked up at her, and she could see the sadness in his face that she had buried deep within herself. “I guess this is goodbye,” he said quietly, pulling his hand away.
Then she watched the redheaded boy of her childhood turn around without another word. He didn’t run, he didn’t look back, he just walked around the corner and was gone. And then she was alone.
She had known her decision would be hard. She’d known that from the start. But she had also always known what she wanted to do with her life and that it would require sacrifices to reach it. Some of those sacrifices would be harder than others, but she would stick to her decision. She would stick to her choice. I’d give up everything to become a Mystic.