“Yes. Can you just film me?” Ivan had called earlier to let Blue know that they were closing a deal on the reality show. It only made his need to apologize to Maddy more urgent. And since he couldn’t get to her in person…
“This is really pathetic.”
“Cora, shut up and tell me when you’re ready.”
They stood in the office where Maddy had done the initial interviews with his exes. Maddy had said the light in the room was good. He hoped it meant she’d be able to see his face and the sincerity in his eyes.
“Fine.” Cora aimed her phone at him. “Action.”
“I’m Blue Rule, from the Dooley Foundation and it’s long past time I set the record straight. I’m the man the Playboy Avengers targeted.” He drew a steadying breath. “And I deserved their scorn. I was attracted to their beauty and I swept them off their feet. I pampered them and treated them like princesses. But I wasn’t honest. I didn’t make them promises for the future in words. Unwittingly, I made promises with my actions. And they judged my actions to mean I was interested in putting a ring on their finger.”
Behind her phone, Cora frowned.
Blue kept going. “Relationships are based on all kinds of communication. Intercourse doesn’t just mean sex. Don’t get me wrong, sex has been important to me.” Sex had been too important to him. “But looking into your lover’s eyes and talking, sharing your hopes for the future, and exposing your fears is more important. It’s the key to trust. Trust unlocks and strengthens love. I only wish I hadn’t learned this too late.”
Cora’s expression was thoughtful.
“It’s been said that I’m like my father. Sometimes the comparison has been made in a positive way, sometimes negatively.” Blue kept his voice level. It was still a concept he found hard to accept, but it was the truth in both good and bad ways. “Let me be clear. I am just like my father.”
Cora gave him a thumbs up.
“My dad taught me with hard lessons. But sometimes the most important things to learn, the biggest changes to make personally, aren’t made easily or without someone leaning across a desk and telling you in no uncertain terms that you’re an idiot.”
Cora smiled, probably remembering Maddy doing just that.
“And because I’m an idiot and a slow learner, I need to tell you this. My reality show was created in response to the actions of the Playboy Avengers, not the other way around. Their club wasn’t a publicity stunt, and neither is this.” He swallowed and tried to smile. “My heart was broken recently by a woman named Maddy Polk. When I met her, I was hiding behind my pride. I was hiding because the things I thought were important – money and reputation and sex – were threatened. Maddy tried to show me I didn’t need those things.” Maybe not the sex part.
“But I was too afraid to put my surface level happiness below the importance of love. I was too afraid to trust. I should have trusted in Maddy. I should have told her the truth about my fears and my feelings as soon as I felt something powerful between us.” Yeah, he was an idiot. “Maybe if I’d wised up sooner, I wouldn’t have lost her. Maybe if I was a better man, I wouldn’t have crushed her belief in love. Maybe I would’ve realized the gift she was to me, to my heart, to my future and my present in time to cherish her. But I still care for her.” I still love her. “And I want her to be happy.”
“And so I want to extend this invitation to Maddy. Please show up for dinner at eight o’clock on Tuesday night at Chinois. There will be a man there – the perfect man for you – if you ask the right questions.”
Blue nodded at Cora, who stopped filming.
She shook her head. “I hope you know what you’re doing. The paparazzi will be all over this. If you fail, if she doesn’t come, if she leaves without her happily-ever-after, you will be crucified by the Avengers and the press.”
“I know. I know all that.” But he was willing to risk it anyway. “Post it to our website and Facebook page.”
Chapter 35
Bad news should be delivered in person.
That’s what Poppa Bert used to say.
Maddy sat in her parents’ dining room, sweating on a seat cushion covered in plastic. She knew they’d probably received a Google Alert about Blue’s invitation. That wasn’t on her list of topics to discuss. The problem was she had a lump in her throat the size of Kansas and couldn’t seem to start the conversation. Limp spaghetti grew colder on her plate, colder than the odd silence in the room. It had to be broken.
“I’m not going to run the dry cleaning business for you.” She braced herself for the storm. For her father’s disbelief and disappointment. For her mother’s disgust and guilt.
“Thank heavens.” Her mother beamed.
“That’s a load off my mind.” Her father smiled.
Maddy looked around the house to make sure she hadn’t been transported to another dimension. Nope. Plastic still covered everything. Plastic was a dry cleaner’s best friend.
“I thought you’d be angry.” She’d thought there’d be shouting. “I made a great deal with the network. I’m quitting my waitressing job.”
Her mother looked confused. Her father looked confounded.
Maddy shook off this alternative reality and tried to uncover the truth. “You don’t want me to run the business anymore? Aren’t you retiring?”
“Yes,” Mom said. “Your brother closed his business.”
“He’s bankrupt,” Dad explained. “Broke. Lost his house, too.”
“He’s starting over.” Mom raised her voice, glaring at her husband. “They’re moving back here to live with us.”
“And Carl needs a job.”
Anger stomped up her spine, straightening her backbone. “You didn’t ask me? You didn’t think I might have made plans for the future based on our agreement?”
“You never wanted it, dear.” Her mother’s smile was gentle. “We thought you’d be relieved. And with your birthday coming up, we thought you should take some time to reevaluate what you want to do with your life. Hollywood doesn’t seem to be working out.”
“We thought you’d like to make a decision about your future without guilt or timelines,” her father said softly. “We didn’t think it required a discussion.”
Relief softened her anger, her spine, her tone. “There’s no guillotine hanging over my head anymore. And I’m sure Carl is grateful.” And mortified that he’d fallen so far from greatness. “It’s just…you don’t seem to support me and now that I’ve succeeded, it’s almost like you expected it.” Even though they’d been surprised.
“Carl has always needed us more than you, honey,” Dad said. “Things come so easy to him. He takes life for granted and that’s when he makes mistakes.”
“Huge mistakes.” Her mother stretched across the table to take Maddy’s hand. “But you work so hard, that if it was meant to be, we knew you’d make it happen. We just didn’t want you to waste your entire life trying to make it happen. So many people in Hollywood do.”
“Your mother can get impatient with waiting for things,” her father deadpanned. “Like kids to get their careers in order. Or husbands to retire.”
“I get bitchy when I stress. It means I care.” Mom released Maddy and swatted at Dad. She began clearing the table. “I’m sorry to everyone, okay?”
Maddy could hardly believe this was how her parents felt. All this time…they hadn’t talked. Just as she and Blue hadn’t talked.
“Speaking of apologies and huge mistakes,” Maddy began. “I pawned Poppa Bert’s albums to finance the pilot. And I missed my pawn date. And now they’re gone.”
“You…” Her father swallowed. “Gone?”
“Long,” Maddy said miserably. She put her hand on the back of Poppa Bert’s chair. “I’m sorry.” So, so sorry.
Mom stopped clearing the table. “And you couldn’t have done it without Poppa Bert’s albums?”
“No.”
“Then he would have approved,” her father said gruffly. “And so do we.
”
“Who is it?” Lyle Lincoln found Blue waiting in the shadowy hall leading to the restrooms at Chinois. “Who’s going to be Maddy’s man? Give me an exclusive and you won’t be sorry.”
Blue smiled weakly, but said nothing. He was almost too nervous to speak.
“I paid five hundred dollars for a seat at the bar tonight and you won’t say a word?”
Blue shook his head.
Lyle pulled out his cell phone and started typing.
It was five minutes before eight. There was no sign of Maddy, who was early for everything.
A patron at a table close by caught sight of Blue and pointed his cell phone at him, clearly filming. “Who’s the lucky guy, Blue?”
Blue’s smile tightened. The excited buzz in the restaurant flowed around him.
And then Maddy came through the front door, wearing a green halter dress and sparkly flats. Blue hid behind a large plant. Maddy looked around hesitantly, told the maitre de who she was, and then followed him to the table Blue had reserved, hesitating before sitting down as she noticed the other chair at the table was empty. The maitre de handed her an index card with Blue’s questions on it.
Cell phones from surrounding tables came out, some flashing as a picture was captured, some simply recording the moment. The noise level grew.
As agreed, the manager made the rounds, reminding each patron that Chinois prided itself on its discreet patron policy. Most people put their cell phones away. That reprieve wouldn’t last.
Maddy looked around the restaurant, her cheeks a bright pink.
He retreated further down the hallway and called Cora. “It’s time. Send in bachelor number one.”
“Hello, my evening star.”
Maddy’s gaze went up and up and up. Her heart sank down and down and down. It wasn’t Blue. So he’d been serious about finding her a man, just as he’d been with the Avengers. “Hello, I’m Maddy.”
“I am Ren Du, pride of South Korea.” Seated, he was still tall, but perhaps not as intimidating, what with his puppy dog grin. “I am here to answer your questions and hope you find me acceptable, because – ” And here he leaned in to whisper. “I find you more than acceptable.”
Maddy smiled, despite herself. “Acceptable is not high praise in our country.”
Ren frowned. “Have I chosen the wrong word? I find you…what is the word? Heated!”
Maddy laughed. “I think you mean hot.”
“Heated. Hot. Burning. They are all the same to me.” He reached across the table for Maddy’s hand. Hers swam in his. “You will want to ask me questions about my manhood and my baby-making skills.”
“You have kids?”
“No, but the doctor says I have many swimmers.” His formal English, honesty, and exotic dark looks made him charming.
“Okay, then. I have three questions. Are you ready?”
“Yes.”
She referred to the index card. “The man for me is a risk taker. What was the last risk you took? And how did it turn out?”
Ren looked perplexed. “A risk? Like a wager?”
“Not exactly, more like trying something you’ve never done before, something that makes you nervous.”
“Oh.” He beamed. “I came here today to see if you will be my evening star.”
“How am I doing so far?”
“I like you.” He grinned. “We would get along because I do not watch television, so we would not fight over the television controller. My teammates have told me this is a big challenge in finding true love.”
She laughed. Ren was sweet, but not Blue. “Have you ever cheated on a woman?”
He drew back in surprise. “That is not honorable. What is your final question?”
“Will you support my dreams in every way?” Not try to sabotage them like a certain Rule Breaker.
“If you have a goal, Maddy, my star, I will be the platform from which you launch it.”
“You’re so sweet.” He’d given her all the right answers, but Ren wasn’t the man for her. “I wish I’d met you before someone broke my heart.”
“I will wait for you until summer’s end. You are a worthy woman to consider bearing Du children.” He kissed Maddy’s hand, then rose to leave.
Maddy tried not to fidget. Blue was around somewhere. She could feel him spying on her. But the only person she recognized in Chinois was Lyle Lincoln.
And then she looked up and saw her next mini-date. “Oh, my God.”
Kent Decklin, movie star, one of People Magazine’s most beautiful people and one of Amber’s dick-headed, ex-boyfriends, sat down across from Maddy.
The cameras in the restaurant came out again, their flashes almost as blinding as Kent’s white smile in their effect on Maddy.
Failure squeezed Blue’s heart.
Mistake. Mistake. Mistake.
“What’s happening?” Cora demanded on the phone. She’d been waiting outside with Kent.
“He’s working it.” The movie-star smile. Leaning toward her with his elbows on the table, as if she was the most important thing to him.
Blue gritted his teeth.
“You’re a brave man to put him in the line-up,” Cora said. “He’s dated every starlet out there.”
“And cheated on every starlet out there, too.” Not to mention he was in love with one starlet in particular – Mimi Sorbet, who was still in rehab.
He could hear Ren saying something to Cora, who laughed.
“Ren says to tell you that he has dibs if Maddy doesn’t want you.”
“I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that.” The possibility was crippling. Blue refused to consider that option. This was going to work. He chose to love Maddy for the rest of his life. Blue closed his eyes, trying to capture the feeling of contentment he’d felt with Maddy in his arms. Life was about taking risks, she’d said, so Blue was trusting in the feelings he sensed Maddy had for him, because he was ready to welcome her as a permanent addition into his life.
This life he was leading was a side show. Blue wasn’t the clown with top billing, as his father had been. He thought of himself more as the ringmaster. He had some dignity while coordinating the chaos that went on around him.
Maddy laughed. The sound drifted back to Blue, tugging at his heart strings. She should be laughing with him.
“How much longer? The natives are restless.”
“Are you sure I can’t convince you otherwise?” Kent stood. “You’d meet anyone and everyone who could make your career if we were together.”
Maddy shook her head.
“Bachelor number two on his way out the door,” Blue said with relief.
If her third candidate was Blue, Maddy would know that everything was going to be all right. But she wasn’t certain Blue would show up. She half attributed this stunt to Amber. And so she kept her gaze on her hands in her lap until she heard a chair being pulled out from the table.
“Oh.” Disappointment speared through her as cell phone cameras clicked and buzzed around her.
Senge Tenzing regarded her with those calm, yet unsettling, dark brown eyes. “I have heard that you are on the market. I will not submit to the twenty questions you have, but I will tell you this…Your twisted chakras have loosened and spread their wings. You are now a woman of great power who can offer a man a partnership both in and out of bed.”
“You really know how to woo a girl, Senge.”
“You may call me, Master.” He inclined his head slightly. “I am looking for a partner to help me take Wicked Tantric to other cities in the United States. I could bring you to completion every day and you…” His eyes stroked her. “You could tell the stories of my disciples with your camera.”
The thought of sex with the strange little man creeped her out, but the idea of creating footage about what went on inside the studio was tantalizing. “I thought there were no cameras allowed in Wicked Tantric?”
“There have not been. But I have seen what you have done with Blue. No secrets were sp
illed, but lives were changed. That is what I want for Wicked.”
“Wow.” Maddy sipped her water, trying to gather her thoughts. Senge’s offer was more tantalizing than either Ren’s or Kent’s. “Does this offer only come with the sex part, because I’m not interested in sleeping with you or having you try to create fantastic orgasms for me.”
“It is a package deal. I am currently without a mistress to minister to my needs.”
“And if that position was taken?”
“Then we could talk business.”
Maddy leaned in. “I have a better candidate in mind.”
Chapter 36
Senge was laughing. The man never laughed. He giggled. Hearty guffaws weren’t his style.
Maddy leaned across the table, her body language indicating she was fully into whatever they were talking about – excited, interested. In Senge. Who the fuck could have called that one?
“Hasn’t she booted that pervert’s ass out of the chair yet?” Cora demanded. “I wouldn’t have let him sit down.”
“I can’t tell what’s going on,” Blue whispered hoarsely.
“Are you kidding me? She picked the perv? I’m coming in.” Cora disconnected. Before Blue could even pocket his phone, his sister charged through the door and made a bee-line for Maddy.
“Time’s up,” Cora said to Senge. “Shoo.”
Maddy and Senge twisted around to face her. This wasn’t at all what Blue had planned. He stepped around the plant and made it to the table before Cora could muck up everything.
The restaurant diners quieted, watching the drama unfold.
“Well, Dr. Rule,” Maddy said dryly. “I was wondering when you’d make an appearance.”
The photo opportunities were blinding. The noise near deafening. The manager darted around the dining room again.
“Have you made your decision, Miss Polk?” Nearly shouting, Blue still kept his voice even, although his hand was fisted at his side, ready to pop Senge if the little man tried to leave with Maddy.