Levenson Academy for Sports and Action was mostly quiet when Katie left. She had only ducked into the changing rooms to put her street clothes on when the final bell went but it seemed as though most of the student body had better places to be that afternoon. She didn’t want to be left in the silence today. It made her feel all alone. Anyone could be lurking around this building. Her footsteps echoed up and down the corridors and she had to keep checking behind her to make sure her steps were the only ones there. There were a handful of teachers in the building and the few students who had stayed behind to study in peace but even knowing help was just a shriek away did little to calm the fear that someone might jump her from one of these corners. She hurried her pace a little but the end of the corridor seemed no closer. In fact, it seemed further away with every step. The vision from yesterday, the colours and sounds, the life, even in these cold, breeze block walls was faint but still there. She had been too tired to realise it hadn’t completely disappeared the previous night.
She took a minute to stand and breathe. Working herself up over nothing was helping nobody. It definitely was not helping Dina, which was the goal here. Dr de Rossa and Mr Bayliss were probably thanking God Dina was the right side of the life/death divide, and hailing her as a medical miracle. That was okay. This could be a miracle. Taking credit for giving a dying girl her soul back sounded – well, kind of heroic if she was honest – but it would be cheap. What if Dina had already woken up and… urgh, she didn’t want to think of the ands. There were too many of them and most of them were bad. Mostly, they all boiled down to the same thing.
What if something went wrong?
She had to trust the Shades when they had told her everything would begin to put itself right. Had to.
There were things to look forward to; a day out with Freddie and Marcie, athletics team trials, finally getting to grips with her course texts. Most people would dread that part but, at the moment, coursework represented normality. Given that study way the main thing she had come to Northwood, neglecting her education even to save people was a risk she didn’t want to take. Skipping school work meant her grades would slip, her scholarship would be threatened then cancelled – no way could her parents afford to keep her here, so off back home she would go. That suddenly filled her with an arctic terror. She might die early here but at least she would (might) come back: back home, she would die and be dead dead. No coming back from that. Such a comforting thought.
The footsteps became squeaks when Katie had the bright idea of swapping her shoes for the trainers she had just taken off. Still noisy but at least she would hear anyone behind her. You can match a footstep in shoes or boots but you can’t match a good old squeak. She looked down and saw spots of blood on the dirty white toes. As she walked, the spots of dry blood spread and liquefied. Fresh red liquid covered her trainers and it began to creep in through the top of her trainers and the air holes by her toes. It was beginning to soak through her socks and her feet were squelching through blood. The desire to sit on the stairs and strip them straight back off was dampened only by the certainty that something awful would happen if she stopped for even another second. She had left a trail of bloody footprints behind her and Katie was watching them pool and wondering who would clear them up when it happened.
Something huge and black slammed into her.
It came with almost enough force to knock Katie off balance. As it was, the sudden blast winded her and she had time for one coherent but non-sensical thought.
There should be pain.
Katie awoke with a jolt sitting in front of her laptop, staring at a barely started essay on the benefits of stage drama over screen. Awoke was the wrong word for it. More like she shook herself out of a haunting daydream. It was fading from her memory already.
Her first evening at Shimma began in a couple of hours. Gym clothes weren’t really appropriate for work – not entirely professional – but there wasn’t really much in her wardrobe that qualified. Shimma had told her the job would entail a bit of everything and a powersuit probably wasn’t suitable club wear. A plain t-shirt, jeans and flat boots seemed okay. She put her trusty baseball jacket over the top and headed downstairs. There was time to shovel down a quick sandwich and a bag of crisps before it was time to go.
“You’ve got a long day today.”
“Home by midnight. I had a nap just. The pay cheque’ll be worth it.” Katie opened the fridge and looked for some cold meats to make a sandwich. Somebody really needed to go to the shops. “I’m starved. Want anything while I’m making?” she called to Lainy.
“Erm… no, I’ll have some crisps. Spoil dinner otherwise.”
“Anything nice?”
“Ah. Pot Noodle. One of the five main food groups.”
Lovely.
“I wanted to-“ they said together. “You first.”
Katie busied herself spreading and slicing, taking more care over this sandwich than she ever had before. Thinking of just the right words to say was hard. The silence went on a little bit too long. Lainy took it as a cue to speak. “Just be careful tonight. Shimma looks after his staff pretty well but, sweetie, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look after yourself.”
“Self-preservation’s pretty high on my list.”
“You really shouldn’t be there at all, you know.”
“He thought I was working anyway. Then he just kind of assumed I needed the job. Which I do.” It hadn’t been quite that simple and she reckoned being found unconscious on his carpet might have encouraged the offer a little. “I’ll be fixing drinks and counting heads – nothing dangerous.”
“Oh, I trust you. I’m sure you wouldn’t put yourself in harms’ way.”
“Not when I have a choice,” Katie muttered. Lainy looked at her, puzzled. “I meant to go see Dina tonight but I don’t have time.”
“I doubt she’ll mind.”
“Still.” She had worked hard to get Dina back in her body. If no-one could know about that then she could at least go and see the girl and congratulate herself.
“Things seem stable. There’s this dim awareness in her but activity hasn’t increased or anything. There are sometimes these, like, spikes of activity but nothing is happening. It’s like she’s in there but…”
“Will she be brain damaged?”
“We won’t know until she wakes up.”
Katie liked the way her friend was saying ‘we’ instead of ‘they’.
“The other day? When you went…”
“Postal?” Lainy supplied helpfully.
“It’s forgotten. You had a temper. It happens. Everyone does stupid stuff when they’re upset. So, I’m not going to keep on about it.” She could practically hear Lainy think PHEW! Wasn’t looking forward to explaining that one.
You don’t need to explain. I understand.
The two girls forced smiles at each other and then it just got too hard to meet the others gaze. Lainy wanted to tell Katie everything that was different about this town. Katie wanted to tell her she didn’t need to.
There was a rule that children and teenagers under the age of 18 weren’t allowed to know that half the town was already dead, and most of the others were on some grand plan to die before they reached their potential. So they ended up here if God or some other higher power decided they were worth saving. Katie had found out that she was destined to die young too, but not how or when, and the Levenson Academy had recruited her because her sporting career was apparently too promising to let a little thing like death halt it.
Shoving the last handful of Cheese Curls in her mouth, Katie gulped it down and dumped her plate in the sink. “You’re washing up later, right?”
“I guess. I mean, I wouldn’t trust Leo with breakable plates. Would you?”
“I wouldn’t trust him with paper plates.”
“I’ll remember that one! Love it!”
Katie
stuffed her phone, keys and purse in her pockets and walked out into the night. It was starting to get cold and dark fast in the evenings now. Winter was definitely on its’ way. She let her feet wander to the student club – they knew the way better than her brain – and let her mind wander to… anywhere it felt like. And it felt like drifting into another world. A world where everything was simple and safe. Nobody died of anything but old age. Everyone was nice to one another. Her friends stood by her side. No trauma stained her outlook on life and the only things people had to worry about was where they could have the most fun. But what jolted Katie most was realising that the world she was fantasizing about was Northwood – not Worth where she had grown up. Northwood was home – stressful, maybe, but it was where she belonged. Worth had raised her. Worth had taught her well. It had killed the child in her.
So soon was Katie gazing up at the smart SHIMMA sign in red and black that she almost jumped when the crowd of people appeared in front of her. The front doors were still closed to people. A sign on the door advertised some visiting DJ she had never heard of. MC Flex seemed popular judging by the amount of people outside. Katie quickly realised it was a former student who had invited all his friends to see his first set. She bypassed all the revellers – most of whom looked frozen half to death – and strode up to the guy on the door. It was the same guy as on Tuesday – skinhead, more muscles than teeth, beady eyes sunk into the folds of face. She dug her student ID out and moved to go past him when the bouncer put an arm out and blocked away.
“There’s a line over there. It’s there for a reason.”
“I need to get in though.”
“Yeah. They all do. Join the queue.”
“I’m working here.”
“Right. Line.”
“It’s my first day. Ask Shimma.”
“Haven’t heard that before.” He jerked his head towards the sign. It was easy to figure out the name of the owner when you name your business after yourself. A heck of a lot of people must try that blag.
“It really is. I don’t know any other way in. It’s supposed to be like an orientation thing tonight.”
“Baptism of fire, more like.” Although the guy looked less than convinced, he obligingly got out his little radio, pressed a button and waited for the crackle to pass. “Got a girl out here, says she’s working tonight.” Another burst of static burst forth but it obviously meant something to Skinhead, because he frowned at Katie and looked her up and down. “Dunno. Maybe five seven. Brown hair, long. Don’t look like she’ll last two minutes.” Another burst of noise and Skinheads face softened. “Yeah, Shimma says you’re alright.”
“Can I go in, then?”
“Not yet. DJ’s got wires everywhere. Couple of minutes.”
That was fine. She’d rather be chilly and not electrocuted than warm because she had just been fried to a crisp. “Is the line always this long?”
Skinhead shrugged and leaned back against the door. A couple of chancers tried to rush past him but the bouncer was far too quick – he looked relaxed but it was obvious he was on high alert. “Uh uh uh. Don’t know where you thing you two’re going but it ain’t in there.”
“How come she gets to jump the line? Teachers pet or something.”
“That’s right. Good puppies get in but bad dogs get bounced.”
Katie kept her gaze fixed on her feet. It wouldn’t do to get into a confrontation on her very first shift.
“But-“
“Move it.” He kept his voice low and steady but there was no mistaking the fact he meant business. Footsteps clomped down the street. “Freshers week. Think they’ll never party again.”
“It’s… I didn’t even think there were this many people at the academy.”
“Yeah, we won’t get everyone in tonight I don’t think.” A voice crackled through his walkie-talkie again and Skinhead opened a wooden door set in to the wall next to the man doors. It was dark enough to be almost invisible to the casual eye.
It opened on a little hall with stairs leading up and down – up for staff areas and down to storage, Katie guessed – and a half open door to her right. Through the door she could see chaos. People flitting across her chink of light, a voice doing a soundcheck, an unholy crash of glass. It was that which made Katie open the door and step into hell. The speeding bodies were staff members and DJ lackeys running around with light and sound equipment. The crash of glass had been from one of the bartenders whose mind had been on the DJ and not on his job. It took a few minutes to realise that the guy who had just broken half of tonight’s wages was, in fact, Shimma himself.
“Ready to make yourself useful?” he said when he saw her. “Got a long night ahead of us. This guy, this MC Flex, brought half of Northwood with him.”
“I saw. The queue’s a mile long. Not literally but as good as.”
“There’s a brush under the bar. Clean this glass up would you?”
“Okey doke.”
Katie had been working for two hours and hadn’t stopped taking orders, mixing drinks and robbing students of their loans.
The DJ crew had set up really quickly and the main doors were letting in a flood of revellers within half an hour. Names were a luxury and Katie was identifying her friends in war by the people who didn’t look ready to fight or fall over. MC Flex was not exactly brilliant but the young man was making a decent go of it and was playing a passable mix of dance and garage. There was a line of speakers hidden behind the bar which were starting to give her earache and the darting multi-coloured lights were burning into her retinas. If she hadn’t been here the past two nights and known it was normally less of a sensory assault, she might have quit there and then. In a rare lull in bar customers, Katie took a handful of coins out of the tip bowl, put it in the till, grabbed the coldest Red Bull in the chiller and propped herself against the bar with it. The adrenalin was pumping and sweat was coating her forehead. There were hundreds of people in, it seemed like, and they all wanted stuff – drinks, snacks.
Shimma had decided he was needed on the club floor more than keeping the books in the back. It was probably more to do with keeping an eye on his new member of staff than making up the numbers. “Katie! Grab some paper towels from the back! Damn, dude, you throw up good.”
The rest of the can slid down her throat in one gulp, and she instantly felt the rush of caffeine and carbonate wake up her flagging muscles – running five or ten miles in one stretch was one thing, but walking the same few feet and keeping ever increasing drinks orders straight in her head was something else entirely. Katie lifted the hatch of the bar and squeezed through the gap, being sure to lower it behind her. It seemed that clubbers sometimes thought they were being extremely helpful by helping themselves. She shouldered her way through the dancing bodies and passed under the doorway into the air-conditioned corridor with the green fire exit on one side of her and the corridor stretching off to her right. A bolt of déjà vu flowed over Katie and she might have allowed it to make her feel sick and tired if she had been on her own time. But she wasn’t. Instead, she opened the door a few metres down the hall, grabbed a roll of paper towelling and let the dark, pine-scented cupboard chase away the nausea. It seemed more than a few days since she had first been here – so much had happened – but there was a job she was here to do.
Snap.
Katie jumped back and slammed the door shut as though the action would shut the voice away too. She turned on her heel and half-jogged back to the main room.
A space had cleared around the area Shimma needed to clean up. There was a crowd in front of Katie but people started clearing a path once they saw she meant to clean the floor. “Here.” She shoved through the rest of the people, already being fed up with the constant apologies and politeness, and handed the towels to Shimma, ripping a few lengths off and crouching to begin mopping vomit.
“What you doing? You ain??
?t no cleaner tonight.”
“Might as well get used to it.”
“I’m perfectly able to clean vomit. Not scaring you off on your first night. Sides, my boys need you back on bar.”
Puke was not her favourite bodily fluid – and how disturbing would it be if she actually had a favourite – so Katie wasn’t complaining. She left the towels on the floor and backed up a step.
“Take a quick break. Don’t want you dropping on me, girl.”
She smiled her thanks at the man whose hair shone almost silver under the swirling lights. The club called Shimma, owned by a man called Shimma, and he shimmers. It felt as if everything was falling into place – that things were starting to turn out how they were always meant to be. She backstepped a bit more and felt her spine smack into something slight but solid.
Everything went to hell.
“I told you I had a job to do.”
Oh, bugger.
If there was one voice she hadn’t wanted to hear tonight, it was this one. Far from sounding angry or ready to launch another attack, Jaye sounded cool and matter of fact. Not vindictive at all. It didn’t fool Katie for a second. She froze.
“Oh, relax, babe. I’m not here to fight. Well, not at the moment anyway.”
“What do you want then?”
“A puppy, a Porsche, an Olympic gold in the butterfly, my parents’ unconditional love. The list is endless. Mostly, though, I want what should be mine.”
Katie forced herself to turn, working on keeping her muscles loose. Attracting attention wouldn’t be a wise move. “Which is?” She took the smaller girl by the elbow and marched her through the club, trying to act like two friends on a night out.
“So many things. You took a lot of things from me. It was quite unfair.”
“You can’t show up here just because you want to… balance the books. Especially not looking like that. What if some-one recognises you?”
“Let’s start with a dead girl.” They stepped into the harsh, fluorescent corridor. Katie found a darkened recess and threw Jaye against it with more strength than she knew than she had in her. She winced as the girl grunted with the impact. She had to stop thinking of her as Jaye – it was something evil wearing her face – but it was so hard. “Well, a should-be-dead girl. Goes by the name of Dina. Your boyfriend found her and then you took her.”
“I said I would take whatever Shades with me that I could. Dina just happened to be one of them.”
“She wanted to die. That was the plan. Who finished her off, how she got to the End Place, didn’t matter. Dina was meant to die and you brought her here. You messed with the order, Katie.”
“So, you want her back?” Katie shrugged. “Sorry, she’s back in her body now. Take it up with her.”
“Oh, I intend to.”
The chill of those words had barely sunk in when Katie felt her mouth making shapes and heard sound coming out. Man, she hated it when her mouth didn’t warn her brain first. “Hold it. There are people here. You can take one of those, can’t you?”
Jaye – She – tilted her head to one side as though considering the idea. Unfortunately, it gave Katie too much time to think over what she had just proposed and begin to hate herself for it. It was a cruel solution. But a necessary one. She bit her lip and did her best not to tangle herself up in complications, giving a heart-breaking back story to the hypothetical person she might have doomed.
“I suppose it would make up the numbers. I could always hang on and wait for Dina to die. She’s still really close to the edge.” She watched Katie frown and giggled. “She’s still hanging on, I can feel her. But I’m holding her as deep down as I can.”
Katie loosened her grip. Didn’t completely let go but she had relaxed enough for the other girl to slide free. “Why?”
“It was meant to be her. And, one day, I will have what I want.” She blew Katie a kiss and skipped away.
Once alone again, Katie tipped forward and rested her forehead on the cool painted breeze blocks. It had been a long night. Suggesting She took the spirit of one of the anonymous clubbers was the coldest thing she had ever said and letting her loose into the crowd to choose her victim was a mistake. It was done now. It didn’t shock her as much as she thought it should.
“Oh my god.”
It hit her like a brick. She was giving her exactly what the Other Place demanded – a living soul. Dina was too close to death still to be useful. So why was She so intent on having Dina? It couldn’t be as simple as the fact that it was just her name on some list. Could it?
Katie took a step forward and pressed herself flat against the wall and let the deep chill sink into her body. It distracted her from the disorder that was her mind. She stayed like that for a couple of minutes. When her mind began to go into shutdown, Katie decided to get back to work. Knowing there was nothing to be done for tonight helped a lot but she had to ask how true that was. Surely there was something.
Her first shift finished an hour later. It was a good job because Katie was fit to drop. She was tired, her feet hurt, and her hands reeked of dirty, sweaty coins. The night was still young. MC Flex was shouting at the crowd and they were all yelling back. The music was getting louder but Katie was glad she was getting out now, before her eardrums started to bleed. She hadn’t gotten the code yet for the staff room upstairs, so she head for Shimma’s office to get her jacket and wash her hands. Anti-bacterial hand gel was currently the best invention ever. There was a big bottle on the window sill and Katie pumped a big blob into her hands. The door opened behind her and creaked a little way shut but not fully closed. She was alert for those sounds, now – always listening to her escape routes being shut off.
“Long night?”
“And I’ve only done a few hours. I feel for you guys – here till closing.”
Shimma padded across the room and stood at the side of the window where he could see her face. “You’ll get used to it.” It had taken him a while to handle a busy club for a whole non-stop night. That’s why he always started new people on half shifts and worked up.
Katie finished rubbing her hands, sniffed them, grimaced, and offered them to him. The stink had faded a lot but it was a sweet, lingering metal smell that seemed to fill the room. “That’s not coming out, is it?”
“Try lemon juice.”
Of course the nearest source of lemon juice was wedges kept in ice behind the bar. And that would mean going back out into that migraine. “I’ll try it when I get home.”
Shimma let out a laugh, seeing her eyes flutter to the door, the noise coming through the gap. “Don’t blame you, chick. Loud, right/”
“Ear-splitting is closer to the mark. It’s not always this manic, right?”
“No, sometimes it’s busy. Joke… joke. This is a busy one. Anything else you need?”
“A caffeine shot straight into my veins.”
“Probably kill you. Have a policy about it.”
“Comforting. How about a Tazer?” she asked instead, aware only that she had talked about them the day before, but not why the thought had just popped into her head.
“Same thing. 50000 volts is more likely to kill you than wake you up.”
“Dammit.”
He opened his top drawer a few inches, slid out a pen and a sheet of paper, not bothering to close it after. “Don’t forget to sign your timesheet before you go. I’ll set you up on payroll tomorrow.”
Katie leaned over and scribbled a signature on the bottom of her sheet. He left her to fill in the blanks – name and date. “Put it back in the drawer when you’re done. I guess you’ll be going out the back way so thanks for tonight, well done for not having a meltdown and I’ll see you tomorrow.” He touched her shoulder in goodbye, just the lightest brush of his fingers, then left. It was nice to feel useful and appreciated. It was also a novelty for Katie who was starting to feel that she was working
her arse off trying to keep hold of something resembling a normal life and never really managing it. But she wanted her friends back; she wanted Jack by her side; she wanted to save all those Shades on that cliff edge – and she couldn’t do that as well. Something had to give.
She filled in the details the timesheet asked for then clipped the lid on the pen. Her shift was officially over.
Jacket on and already zipped up as high as it would go, Katie slid the drawer further open to put the paperwork back in. It was the typical pile of junk she kept in her own desk – a confusion of pens, pencils, paper clips and elastic bands. Why hadn’t she noticed these before? Or, rather, why hadn’t she asked? Katie held her hair back in one hand and reached in for one to tie her hair up. Her hand hit something long and chunky. She gripped it and pulled, letting go of her hair, tying it back a forgotten idea. The object she brought out was bright yellow and wider at one end. A Tazer. It wasn’t very heavy either. About half a pound if she had to guess. What the hell was Shimma doing with a controlled weapon in his office? Not only did Katie not want to ask but she was suddenly sure he had meant her to find it. It had a comfortable grip and it slid into the inside pocket of her jacket with barely a bulge. No-one would ever know it was there. Not unless the towns’ non-existent police force decided to do a stop and search. She tied her hair back, blew her breath out and decided to head home. Life would carry on. There would be study and races, cooking and cleaning, friends and a psychotic teenager who might strike anywhere and when.
And anywho.
That was a nice thought.
“Knackered! Going to bed!”
There were noises coming from the kitchen of their old house on Newton Street, and the door was closed. Katie remembered the times when her parents had sat in the kitchen with the door closed. It either meant they were having a quiet argument, or they were discussing something important that they didn’t want the kids to know. Which, in turn, meant she had to know.
“Adam, we’re gonna get fired for sure.”
“Whatever happened wasn’t our fault. They can’t blame us for an accident.”
“An accident. One of our girls nearly killed herself because we didn’t spot how much she was hurting. We didn’t give her the help she needed.”
“We couldn’t have-“
Lainy must have cut him off because Adam stopped speaking and she continued. “And then we focussed so much on her that we didn’t support the ones still here. So much so that one of them ran away.”
“These things happen, Lainy. It’s got nothing to do with us being bad guardians.”
“I don’t think the academy will take that as a valid defence. God, we are fucked. Completely and utterly screwed.”
“Calm down. Dina’s going to be fine-“
“If she ever wakes up.”
“When she wakes up. We’re house parents, not these kids’ parents. Nor are we psychotherapists. The academy expects us to take care of our kids while there with us, not fix them.”
“And if we do get sacked.” Lainy sounded incredibly calm and collected, not even upset really, but Katie could imagine her sitting at the table, chewing on the end of her messy braid. “If we get disciplined. What happens to the others? I mean, Katie – she’s young and nervous and she likes it here. It’s a new start for her. And – and Leo. He’s just starting to turn into a human being.”
“Maybe we should be sacked. Stop giving them false hope.”
“Bullshit, Adam. You love all these kids as much as I do.”
“Yeah, I do. And maybe we just need to let them make their own mistakes and not feel so damn responsible when they get hurt.”
She stood back from the door and swallowed back a sob. It was impossible to miss the implication in that sentence. They were talking about her. Katie had gotten hurt and was still working herself harder than she probably should – but nobody else was going to do it! And it wasn’t her fault if Lainy and Adam felt responsible for her. She might be the youngest student they had probably had in the house, but she was still old enough to make her own decisions – good, bad or almost certainly suicidal.
“You need to remember that we might be looking after these kids but they are smart and tough too. They can take care of themselves.” He paused. Lainy would be sitting with a steaming mug of coffee and staring at Adam with love and tears in her eyes. It was understandable – Adam was speaking a lot of sense and Katie herself loved him for being so logical but gentle and caring. No mistaking the fact he adored his job as man of the house.
“I know they can. The trauma some of them have seen, I’d never have left the house again if it was me. And we do our best.”
“Course we do.”
“But what if-“ – the best isn’t good enough? Katie imagined the end of the sentence, shivered as a tingle of something dark and dead crept through her and headed for bed.
She was too tired to process the feeling she was getting. Too tired even to do anything about the roaring vortex in her stomach. Too exhausted to fully change into her pyjamas. She changed her jeans for PJ bottoms and crawled into bed wearing the work-sweaty t-shirt and thick socks. Katie was asleep before the duvet had even settled over her shoulders.
The deep and dreamless sleep was over much too soon. The room was still mostly dark when Katie awoke, although once she had pushed the curtains back and allowed morning sunlight to trickle in, it was light enough to dress by without switching her lamp on. Someone had closed her bedroom door at some point during the night.
Lainy, Adam and Leo were already in the kitchen by the time she got down. Adam was frying eggs and bacon, Lainy was sitting at the table enjoying the sight, Leo was being his usual grouchy self and making tea. Apart from the strange chill she felt - cold coming, maybe – it all looked nice and normal.
Which should have been her first clue.
Because when she stepped further into the food haze and slid into a seat, she noticed a fifth person at the able. A short, slim, dark haired wonder by the name of Jaye.
“Erm…”
“Oh, isn’t it fantastic, sweetie. Jaye came home.”
“When?”
“Late last night, after you went to bed. We’re all so glad to have you back.”
Jaye picked a slice of toast from the rack and started to butter it. “I’m glad to be back. You have no idea how cold it was out there.”
“You were sleeping rough? Oh, well, it’s over now and your nice warm bed’s missed you, I’m sure.”
“Believe me, I missed it right back. And I missed you guys. I wanted to come home before but… I didn’t think there was anything to come back for.”
“Oh, sweetie. There’s always a reason to come home.”
“Uh-huh. The house wasn’t the same without you,” Adam called over his shoulder. The bacon fat was spitting at him but he was doing that completely insane macho thing of staring at it until it agreed to simmer down. Apparently, he hadn’t got the memo that angry, spitty food was generally done by that stage. “I’d welcome you back with a hug but hey, I’m feeding you”
“I’m honoured. Truly.”
“You should be. Cooking is not manly.”
“But you look so good in the apron. And plenty of men cook. They just don’t look quite as sexy doing it.”
“I know,” Lainy agreed. “The kitchen is most definitely on fire.” She leaned close to Jaye and smiled as though they were sharing a secret. “The more people in this house, the more normal it feels. You’re glad Jaye’s back too, aren’t you Leo.”
“S’pose,” he mumbled, barely glancing up from stirring. A one word answer seemed to be pushing the limits of his conversational abilities this morning. Katie wondered if he had just got as little sleep as she had.
Jaye rolled her eyes at him and groaned. “Chatty as usual, I see.”
Kate stretched her arms out and circled them around the dainty little person
beside her, pulling her close in a fierce hug. God, she’d missed her. A thought occurred that Jaye had come home a little too conveniently, when sane people were well asleep and after their meeting in the club. But she thought the knowledge that Dina was close to waking had shaken the real Jaye into fighting She. And everything Jaye had just said and done was her real personality and not just a quite good imitation. “I’m so glad to have you back. I love you, Jaye.”
Jaye pressed her cheek close and whispered. “Do exactly what I say or I tear the fucking roof off this place.”
And that wasn’t the real Jaye after all.
Katie felt her eyes widen and her face try to draw in on itself but she forced her face to be still, the smile to stay on her face. “Where were you?”
“Oh, here and there. Most of it’s a blur. Tears and tissues.”
There went that plan. Trapping Jaye into revealing her stolen identity had sounded like a good idea all of thirty seconds ago. But now Lainy was sending her a look that said no questions in stereo sound.
Katie grabbed a slice of cheese on toast, dropped an apple in her pocket, slung her bag over her shoulder, silently thanking all her years of training to pack her school bag the night before. “Got to go. Early study group.”
It was a lie. She hadn’t signed any of the sheets her tutors had passed around for study groups. And nor was she planning to. Just didn’t think she would have the time. But it sounded a lot more plausible than I’m just getting out of the house because that thing is not Jaye and she might actually tear the place apart. So where to go instead? Really there was only one option. It was the one place and person than might just be the key to ending this. If there was anywhere that might show her how to give Jaye her body back it was the hospital.
Katie shivered. A waterproof coat hid at the bottom of her rucksack and, while it might keep the forecasted rain off later in the day, she wasn’t sure if it would do much to combat the cold. This was the debate filling Katie’s head when it suddenly got a whole lot colder.
Her vision went fuzzy. Her knees went weak. An icy hand grabbed hold of her insides and pulled. For a few seconds – longer? Time warped – there was a pressure on every working organ. Katie detached herself from the pain. It wasn’t anything she wanted to feel. The next thing she knew, she was being spoken to.
“…didn’t see you at all yesterday.”
It sounded as though Jack had been speaking for a while. Having missed the beginning of the conversation, Katie had no idea what to say, or even if she should say anything. So she stayed silent.
“Lady Katie? Are you… God, I’m hurting you when I use you.”
“I didn’t even feel it.”
A tiny frown line appeared between his beautiful green eyes, broken by the perfect round scar. Katie rubbed the pad of her thumb over it, matching his expression. Jack reached up, took her hand and dragged it down to his lips. Kissing her fingertips gave Katie shivers that Jack could practically feel. “Even a ghost can’t outfade a speeding bullet.”
“What about a ghost bullet?”
“No such thing.”
“Oh.” That couldn’t be right. Maybe the thing wearing Jaye simply had access to weapons he didn’t know about.
“Why do you ask?”
“Just wondered.” There were a few more things to wonder about. “Where does the rubbish go?”
“You lost me.”
“Well, we put the bins out and next day they’re empty again. Where does it go? Who collects it?”
“Ain’t never spent long enough here to find out.”
“She’s back. Everyone believes it’s Jaye but I know it’s not. She threatened us all.”
“She’s in your house?”
Katie nodded. How stupid had she been – just waltzing off and leaving her at home without even warning the others? “I have to get her out of there. She doesn’t belong in this world.”
And she was speaking to empty air. Jack had done a runner. It figured. Leaving her alone to face the big scary was the story of her life so far. Okay, so maybe that was a little bit harsh. No-one had meant to leave her to face her demons alone – and they had tried to give her support. But in the end it was too little, too late.
Dr de Rossa was just walking into the student medical centre when she got there. it was still early – not quite eight o’clock. “Miss Cartwright.” He nodded at her in greeting. He probably wouldn’t have looked out of place tipping his hat.
Katie nodded backed and hurried inside. She wasn’t in the mood to engage in conversation with him. She was not in the mood to do what she was about to do either. There was nobody on reception but a woman was hovering by the staff room, pinning a name badge on her jumper and watching boredly as the teenager strode through the waiting area and through the swing doors. She looks like she thinks she owns the place. Must work here or something. I’m not getting in her way – she might get nasty. Besides, I don’t clock on for another – oh, sweet Jesus, I’m late! Katie marched down to Room 4 near the end and hesitated outside the closed door. Was she doing the right thing? Was she doing it for the right reasons? Was she even sure it would work? Answer – not even a little bit. But, it was too late to turn back now. She knocked to warn anyone who might be inside and then walked in without waiting for an answer. If any response came then she thought she might just run away.
The room was full when she entered. Dina, of course, was lying on the big bed in the middle of the cubicle. But she seemed to be taking up even less room than the nurse fiddling with one of the drips, the domestic assistant changing the empty bed next to her and her anxious father all put together. In less than a blink, the nurse and cleaner had slunk out of the room, leaving Mr Bayliss leaning against the window and staring at his daughter. Looking at Dina harder wasn’t going to make her wake up. Katie fluttered a glance at him but he hardly seemed to have noticed she was in the room. That was okay. She was pretty sure she could make this work with him in the room.
Pretty sure.
Her voice wouldn’t attract attention. She wouldn’t be moving around and disturbing anyone. She would be as quiet and as still as a corpse. That sentence had never been funny until it was serious.
Katie pulled the red plastic chair away from the wall and set it close to the bed. There was a comfier chair but the cushioning might make her relaxed enough to let her concentration slip. And then Dina might be lost forever.
She took Dina’s hand in hers, stroking the fresh bandages around her wrists.
Did you mean it?
No answer. It wasn’t exactly confidence building when your test question fails to even garner an answer. Holding a hand was a loose connection, Katie already knew, skin was too physical. She had to go deeper. A lot deeper.
Mr Bayliss was talking to her and Katie could hear herself answering but she had no idea what she was saying. This habit she had developed since returning from the End Place was alarming. Disconnecting so quickly and so completely from reality wasn’t right and Katie shouldn’t be able to do it. Never look a gift horse… blah blah blah. It was enabling her to save her friends and that was the important part. She looked at her friend and thought back to almost their first meeting. Dina had handed her a spiked drink – which was bad enough – but then she had stood by as Katie wandered off and blacked out in the middle of a deserted sports stadium. It was going to take a while to forgive that, even if she had done it with good intentions, but that process couldn’t even begin if Dina wasn’t here. But most of all, Katie wanted Dina back to complete her dysfunctional Northwood family.
She closed her hands tight around the cold, thin one, slid her eyes shut, reached her mind out for the familiar thread and pulled.
Chapter fourteen