He nods, pointing at a row of vials in the cabinet. "I do and any signs that you're changing, I'll inject you."
I shove my sleeve up. "Then do it. Go ahead and inject me."
He seems remorseful, but still goes to retrieve the vial from his cabinet. He fills a syringe with it then flicks the needle with his fingertip as he makes his way back over to me. A slow breath eases from his lips as he aims it at my arm and I frown as he runs his finger along my vein, remembering, yet not remembering, all the times I was injected. Then, with a deep breath, he injects the virus straight into me and all we can do is wait.
***
"I feel funny," I say, feeling a little woozy as he throws away the syringe and returns the virus to its rightful place in the cabinet.
"That's understandable." He turns around, watching me, waiting to see if I'll change.
I brace myself against the wall as the room starts to spin; my veins feel like they're on fire. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."
Nodding and keeping his eyes fastened on me, he backs away to a metallic cooler in the corner of the room. He opens it up and takes out a small vial of my blood along with another vial that looks like it's filled with a black liquid that bubbles red. He tucks that one into his pocket and then hurries forward, preparing to inject me with my blood.
I hold up my finger, struggling to breathe, not ready to give up. I force my body to fight against the potency and desire to let the virus take control. After a few inhales and exhales, my strength returns to me and I manage to stand up straight, releasing a breath.
"I think I'm going to be okay," I tell him, squaring my shoulders.
"You don't feel like your skin is peeling off or anything?" he asks cautiously. "Or are you filled with a hunger for blood?"
I shake my head, breathing freer and freer by the second. "I feel perfectly fine."
His whole body sinks as he sighs with relief. "Thank God." He moves over to a drawer and gets an empty vial and syringe. "I'm going to take some of your blood now and see what it's doing. Have a seat."
I do what he says as he prepares to draw my blood. I eye his pocket, wondering what the other vial is. "What was that other thing you grabbed?" I ask.
He touches his finger to my forearm, finding a vein. "What do you mean?"
"That vial that's in your pocket. What is it?"
He puts the needle into my arm and begins to fill the syringe up with blood. "That's the fading."
I don't say anything as he finishes up and then I get up from my chair, heading to leave.
"Wait, where are you going?" he asks as I reach the doorway.
I pause. "To think."
Now, he pauses. "Kayla, I know this is a hard decision but--but we're running out of time."
"I know that," I say through gritted teeth. "But I need just a few minutes." To think. To process. To find out what Sylas thinks."
I walk out the door, knowing if Mathew wanted to, he could probably chase me down and try to put the fading in me, but he doesn't. He's giving me a choice. When I think about it, though, I know it's really not a choice. Deep down, I know what I'm going to do because it's why I was created. To think without emotion, to think about what's important, to not base my decisions on greed.
In the end, I'll go through with it. I just need to say good-bye.
Chapter 23
The first thing I do is find Sylas. Then I tell him everything I found out, including that he might be a Day Walker now. We do a few tests and determine that he probably is, which seems to excite him. I just hope the power doesn't go to his head, like it did with Aiden.
Then we move onto the bigger problem. The fading. I'm nervously pacing a section of the wall, telling myself it's time to say good-bye, move forward and hope for the best, however it's hard. I'm conflicted and I don't like it because it's for selfish reasons and I don't want to be selfish like the Highers.
"How can we be sure we can trust him?" Sylas asks. He's leaning against the wall with one of his knees pulled up and his arm resting on it.
I shrug as I continue to pace. "I know he's not lying, but at the same time, I know that he knows it might not work and I might just end up becoming a useful body in the end."
He rubs his eyes as he stares at the ground. "So then, is it worth it?" he asks. "To do that to yourself when you're so perfect right now."
I stop walking and try to stay neutral. "Sylas, perfection is what got the world in trouble to begin with." I gesture around at the colony hidden behind a wall of cars as vampires cry out on the other side. "None of this would be here. If it wasn't for perfection, you and I'd be..."
He glances up at me, his dark eyes filled with heat. "We'd be what?"
I shrug. "I don't know... walking around and living our lives... normal."
His brow arches. "Together."
I press my lips together and shrug again. "I'm not sure. Maybe."
He slowly gets to his feet, his eyes glued to mine as he inches towards me, reducing the space between our bodies until we're nearly flush. "And if we were together in a normal world, what would we be doing?"
"I've never really thought about it," I say. "Because I can barely remember what the real world was like."
"Hmmm..." He considers something thoughtfully. "Would we be doing this?" He leans in and brushes his lips against mine, tasting me softly.
"Maybe," I whisper against his lips and then he kisses me again, much deeper. His hands slip around my waist, forcing me closer, pressing us together. I don't fight it because I want it; want to be close to him for a moment. We kiss until it becomes too hot, too intense, too emotional, then we pull back. His eyes are still shut and he touches his lips with his fingers.
"Kayla, I'm not going to tell you what to do," he says. "No, I don't want you to do it, but at the same time, I don't think you could live with yourself if you didn't do it." His eyes open. "You have too good of a heart."
I put my hand over my hollow chest. "It doesn't even beat anymore."
He places his hand over mine. "It's still in there though, and it's full of good."
I'm about to open my mouth and tell him the same, even though I know he'll argue, but then we hear a loud thump followed by a scream. Sylas and I trade a look. I think we both know the moment our eyes lock that this is it. They're here. We can sense it in the air, hear soft thuds in the distance, and the cries of the vampires have faded.
Seconds later, we hear someone yell, "They're coming!"
"Shit," Sylas says, taking off for the wall.
I run after him, my footsteps still quicker and I end up passing him. I scan the top of the wall as I move and then head towards a rounder man holding a weird glasses looking thing to his eyes that supposedly helps humans have vision like vampires, although I'm skeptical.
Sylas is right at my heels as I move effortlessly up the stack of cars, running up pieces sticking out like they're stairs. When I reach the top, I summon a breath and take in the sight before me. Barreling at us at full speed are a large group of abominations, moving on all fours, tearing up the sand and rocks and creating a dust storm as they plow over any vampires in the way. There's more than I expected. Way more. And they move so much quicker out in the open, hilly land then they do in the city streets.
And they're not alone.
Moving beside them are white figures, their robes blowing in the wind along with their snowy white hair. There's also one figure wearing all black that blends in with the night, yet his hair has streaks of white. When I squint closer and examine them closely, I make out Gabrielle and Monarch in the crowd along with... Aiden. He's starting to change into a higher, too, which means he'll be less like himself and more like them.
I start to see the bigger picture at the moment; the things I could change if Mathew can make the fading work. That sweet boy I first met would never have had to go through this; no one would ever have to again.
Sylas must see his brother, too, because he reaches over and takes my hand like he needs
to hold onto something. I give it a squeeze since it's all that I can do. I feel a slight twitch of his fingers as his firm jaw tightens.
"I hope we're ready for this," he mutters, letting go of my hand and collecting one of the many sharpened sticks on the top of the wall. "God, there's so many of them."
I slowly nod, taking in the people around us. I hate to think it, but I can't help seeing how easily the abominations could destroy them. They weren't built for this. They're weak and one bite will ruin them. So fragile. So helpless against the virus. Everyone except for me. I stand tall in the crowd, the single thing that could possibly save them.
If I can convince myself to go through with it.
"Well, it looks like we're going to need more people on the wall," Sylas says in a fake joking tone. "God, this is worse than I thought it would be... there's just so many."
I nod, turning around and hating what I see. All the guards and the people of the town have gathered around me on the wall or below the wall, waiting to fight as they look at me with their eyes pleading at me to say something, do something... help them and tell them what to do.
Some of the Day Takers have migrated to them, too, not looking afraid, but entertained. Thankfully, Emmy has managed to keep herself over by the lab so Mathew's protected. Does it even matter? Can he cure the world without me? Do I need to survive? Can I even die?
There's a pause in the chatter below me as they wait for me to tell them what to do. I turn and glance at the stampede heading for us then turn back to the unmoving crowd.
I want to tell them to run.
Run for the lives.
Flee.
I summon a deep breath then slip my fingers out of Sylas's and step forward to the brink of the wall. "The Highers, the ones who started all this--the virus and the whole crumbling of the world, will be here soon. And they're strong--stronger than the vampires," I tell them. Shocks and gasps follow as they all look around at each other. Their fear instantly gives me a headache. "And the abominations are with them..." I remember they have no idea what abominations are so I add, "They're the things caused by a Highers bite. And these monsters are more animal than human... and they're fast, large, and complicated to fight."
"How many are there?" Nichelle calls out from the crowd below, stepping up to the front.
I glance at Sylas for help, wondering if we should lie--if it would be better if they didn't know how little of a chance they stand against the army. "What should I tell them," I hiss.
He moves forward and his voice booms out over the crowd, "A lot." I cringe against his truth and he shrugs. "They need to know, Kayla, otherwise they won't prepare themselves for the worst."
"We're all going to be killed!" a person to the left of me says, dropping his spear onto the ground. It hits one of the metal cars below us and then suddenly everyone starts to panic.
"We should flee while we can!" a man from below shouts, looking around at the others as he hurries to the back of the crowd, ready to bail. "We should go! Go to the caves or the hills like the others did earlier."
"Even if you did flee, they'll chase you down; the Highers don't just give up," Sylas informs them in a bored tone. "There's too many of them and they are too fast. Run and you'll be killed."
"I'd rather run than sit here and wait for them," someone says and then suddenly everyone is agreeing, nodding their heads and turning to run away.
"Wait," I call out, not knowing what to do. They need something to keep them here. Something to give them motivation. "You have to stay and fight... if not for yourselves then for Mathew... and the cure."
They pause, some turning around. One man, a gangly one with curly brown hair and long limbs, strides forward. "There's a cure?" he asks, pushing his way to the front of the mob.
A woman with jet-black hair says, "Impossible. She's lying."
"I never lie," I say, which is a lie, but it's called for at the moment. "And if you leave, then it'll be gone. So please. Stay. We must protect Mathew and the cure. It could save humanity. Change it back to what it was."
"But what was it?" a lanky man asks, glancing around at the crowd who are all intently listening to him, ready to believe the next thing out of his mouth. "Was it this? Or was it something else? How do we know it'll be better than this?"
I glance over my shoulder at the abominations and Highers getting closer, the cloud of dirt on the outskirts thickening. "Because it has to be."
They chatter amongst each other and then the sounds slowly fade away. When I return my attention to them, most of them are watching me except for a few who are running towards the street, bailing out on the fight.
"For the cure!" one of them shouts out, raising his hand in the air.
The rest shout out the same thing and then people start to climb up the walls with knives and swords in their hands, lining the top of the wall with their bodies. Some have sticks, some have spears like Sylas is carrying. Others just have their hands as their weapon, but it's all we have.
I let out a breath of relief. "God, that was hard. It's like they wanted to listen to whatever anyone was saying at the time"
"That would be human nature." Sylas pats my back. "But you did good convincing them with a cure."
I look up at him. "Yeah, I guess... now I just have to figure out a way to give them a cure if they make it through this."
"I think you already know that will happen," he says sadly.
"You have a lot of confidence in me."
"Because I know you well enough to know you'll do what you believe in, and saving the world is what you believe in."
I wish I had his confidence because he seems so sure and I seem so uncertain.
"Stop worrying," he commands, eyes darken as a slow smile spreads across his face. "How about one last kiss before we die?"
I roll my eyes again, yet then, knowing he's right, knowing that we might not make it through this--that none of us might--I stand up on my tiptoes and kiss him passionately, letting my emotions temporarily take me over as I thread my fingers through his hair. In response, his tongue slips into my mouth and twines with mine. We might have gone for a hell of a lot longer, but then someone screams and we pull away, knowing it's time.
I give Sylas a look that I hope conveys good-bye and he nods his head in a silent understanding. Then, at the same time, we spring to the edge of a wall. He hands me the long, sharpened stick that he's been carrying around and I take it, knowing it's not going to help me that much against the forces before us.
Knowing all this, we still step forward and join the line.
The enormous army of abominations is now less than a hundred feet from the wall and closing in on us fast. The sounds of their footsteps shockwave around us as their feet pound against the ground. Pointing my spear out, I prepare for whatever is to come next while reminding myself what this is for. It's for them, the people standing around me, ready to die, so that maybe, just maybe, the world can change.
I watch them get closer, hearing the rapid acceleration of hearts around me. Thump... thump. Thump, thump, thump.
I hold my breath and wait.
Thump... thump...
The footsteps get closer.
The people around me breathe fiercer.
The footsteps grow louder.
Suddenly, I swear there's a pause where everything in the world freezes.
Then, all at once, the abominations strike into the wall like a raging earthquake. I brace myself for the impact as the entire wall wobbles and shifts with the weight of their enormous bodies. They howl out at the night as several people stumble backwards, screaming as they fall to the ground below, hitting it with a thud. One man falls forward and gets ripped to pieces in seconds by the beasts. Someone starts to cry while the others with spears aim and throw them at the beasts. Several abominations stagger back as the sharp end of the spears pierces into their chest, but it barely puts a dent in the numbers of beasts down below. Seconds later, they start to climb up the wall, bending and rip
ping the metal to pieces.
People take their knives and swords to stab at the abominations' chests, faces--anything they can reach--screaming and crying out, scared out of their minds. The abominations bite back, fangs snarling, tearing off limps, howling at the knives and peeling off flesh as they shed their own. Humans and abominations start falling to the ground and piling up in numbers, their blood staining the ground below them and creating a river.
One abomination manages to make it onto the wall, right beside me and I whirl around with my leg out and slam my boot into its chest. It growls, staggering with its crooked, warped legs, but doesn't fall. Instead, it dives towards me with its fangs out, clamping its jaw. I swing the spear around as it opens its mouth to devour me and the pointy end spears straight into its mouth and exits out the other side of its jaw. I jerk it out and blood spills over the ground as its knees give out. I kick it to the ground, adding it to the growing pile of bodies.
I'm about to relax when another makes it to my side between Sylas and me. I start to move for it, but stop and watch as Sylas's arm darts out in my direction. Before I can even blink, he has the handle of my spear in his hand and shoves the end into the abominations chin. Then spins around, lifts the spear above his head and jabs it through its skull. We both stick our feet out at the same time and kick it to the ground towards the pile of bodies, both human and beast.
He exchanges a look with me as we breathe in the sight and then his lips part like he's about to say something when someone yells out.
"Over there, towards the East part of the wall!" a man yells, pointing in that direction. "They're starting to be overrun!"
Sylas glances around and then nods his head in that direction. I follow his gaze, my eyes widening at the sight of people fighting off the beasts, launching them back off and slicing them when they get near the top. The abominations just keep coming in huge clusters and the cars that create the wall are starting to buckle below their weight.
One abomination grabs a woman by the leg, sinking his teeth into her then bounds off the wall, taking her with them. They disappear into the group below, a sea of drooling beast, flesh peeling off, rotting, legs crooked, yet they're strong.