“I feel naked without my knife.”
“I’d love to feel you naked without your knife,” he said, smirking.
She swung at his shoulder, not to hurt though. Just to touch him, to connect.
“How about you answer a little question to pass the time…and because I really want to know. Why do you carry a blade if you’re afraid of blood?”
Oh wow, this was going to be that kind of conversation. “I’m not afraid.” She paused, looking for a way to make it sound less terrible than it was. “I’m not sure how to describe it.”
“Is it the pain you want?”
She shook her head. “Seeing the blood feeds something inside me, creates a desire to see more. That excitement makes me more aggressive, more reactionary, less timid. I fight because I have to, like it’s an addiction.” She couldn’t even call what came out of her mouth a chuckle because there was no humor in it at all, only bitterness and self-loathing. “Super healthy, right?”
He shrugged, not bothered by her confession at all. “Whatever works to get the job done. Doesn’t matter how healthy you are emotionally once your heart stops beating.”
“I guess…”
“Don’t need to guess. Everything is either true or not true.”
“You don’t understand because you’re not human.”
“Neither are you, and believe me, I understand a lot more than you think. Not because I enjoy violence, which I do on occasion…with the right partner. But I’m nearing the end of my tour, and we pick up all the worst human habits and emotions. Not sure how you go your entire lives with all that guilt and, what is it called? Empathy? Disgusting stuff. ”
She laughed. “I bet you can’t wait to get rid of it all.”
“Oh, I can wait. The longer the better.”
She wouldn’t presume to know how Davyn would show fear even if he felt it, but he looked haunted. “What’s it like down there?”
“Tough to describe.” He thought for a moment. “When you eat cake, which do you prefer: the frosting or the spongy bits? Trust me, this has a point.”
“The frosting is too sweet for me.”
“Me too. Okay, now imagine a nine-layer cake. Chocolate?”
“Sure.”
“Each layer of the chocolate cake is a layer of hell. The lower you get, the darker the chocolate, plus it’s dry and tastes like shit. We all start out at the bottom with the big guy, and we all try to fight our way out, to have more freedom. At each layer of frosting is a trial.” He used his hands as he spoke. “One layer over another, one trial after another. Not many pass the first one. But those that do go to the next layer, and if you can face the next test, you try. If you get to one and don’t pass it…Well, you’d better have said goodbye to everyone you wanted to ’cause you’re never going to have another chance.”
“What are the tests?”
“You don’t want to know,” he said dismissively. “The more layers we get through the harder the test, but the closer we are to the outside world—our utopia. Because once we get here, we can pretty much come and go as we please. As long as we still do what the big man wants.”
“How long does it take to get to the top?”
“In your years, millennia. In mine, way more than that.”
“If barely any of you pass the tests, why take the risk?”
He swung out his arms. “For this. Freedom. Inasmuch as we’re allowed. We have to go back regularly though to get refueled on a bit o’ brimstone, degradation, and pain.”
“What kind of pain?”
“The excruciating kind.”
“The kind that goes beyond the physical?” She put her hand on her stomach. “Makes you feel as if you’ll never heal because it will never stop?”
“Something like that, but not exactly the same.” He went back to looking out the window.
“Do you want to know?” she asked after a long moment.
“Know what?”
“What he did to me.” He’d seen what Lamere had done to Thom, knew what the bastard was capable of, but she wanted him to know about her.
He studied her, his jaw clenched, his eyes searing.
“You’re right,” she said, embarrassed. Of course, he didn’t want to hear about it. Demons didn’t care what happened to humans. “It’s probably not the same.”
“I don’t want to know,” he said softly, “because I don’t want to imagine him hurting you, to have that in my head. Because if I did, I wouldn’t be able to keep my promise. I would spend the rest of your life tearing off his flesh piece by piece in front of you. So he would see your face as he slowly went to hell. So he would know exactly why he was going there. You shouldn’t have to live with that horror, too.” His exhalation was jagged. “I need to keep up my end of the deal.”
He stared out the window a little longer before turning to her again. Then, he wrapped his fingers through her hair, holding her neck and pulling her into him. The kiss was slow, gentle at first. His lips got warmer, then his tongue as he coaxed her mouth open. They explored each other, forgetting everything they’d denied or fought. Being side by side probably kept everyone on board from a fiery death. There were only so many places their bodies could touch. And there was definitely lots of touching going on. Until she felt a tap on her shoulder.
“You need to stop,” the flight attendant said.
Keira pulled away, but didn’t go far before her head hit the rest behind her. Davyn didn’t move.
“She’s right,” he said, staring at Keira’s lips, rubbing his own together.
“Sir?”
“I said you’re right, and we stopped. Now I think you have something else to do.”
The woman’s expression turned from impatient to mischievous. “You’re damn straight I do.” Then she marched up the aisle to the man sitting in the first row and asked, “Sir, could you please come with me for a moment?” The guy fumbled to get up and follow her, pulling the curtain closed behind them.
“What did you do?” Keira asked.
“You’re giving me shit for making two people very happy. That’s not right, hunter. I swear, I just can’t win with you.” His smirk gave away how much he cared about that. “We might not have drink service for a while though, and I hope you don’t need to use the bathroom any time soon, because it’s going to be occupied.”
No more than two seconds later the ‘occupied’ sign lit up.
“Damn, I should’ve made her wait until after we’d gotten a snack.”
“Are you—?”
He shut her up by covering her mouth with his. His lips were hotter than they’d been less than a minute ago. Or was that just her reaction to him? She moaned softly when he swept his tongue across hers. His fingers brushed across her hip as he loosened her seatbelt strap and rested his hand on the inside of her thigh, massaging.
She pushed his hand away, hoping he’d be as stubborn as usual and refuse to budge. Thank the heavens, he was.
“Davyn,” she said into his mouth. “Wait, you’re heating up.”
“I know. Why else would I be kissing you?”
Well, wasn’t that a buzz kill. She grabbed his hand off her leg, pushing him in the chest with her other. “I thought we were never going to do that again.”
“I said that, didn’t I? Don’t worry, hunter. You’re safe here, surrounded by people. If only I weren’t bound to my seat by this puny little strap of cloth that is holding me back from doing what I really want to do to you right now. If there was any way—any way at all—to break free from it, I would pick you up, carry you down the aisle over my shoulder, and have my way with you in that tiny little bathroom once the stewardess and that guy are done with it. Damn this belt. Damn it to hell.”
“You’re not funny.”
Smiling, he adjusted his very hard cock, and she tried not to watch. “So did you think that one was as gross and awkward as the last one, hunter? Or am I improving?”
For the rest of the flight, Davyn only touched Ke
ira’s hand, sending a constant, uncomfortable flow of heat into her. She fidgeted and tried to focus on anything other than him. Feeling his heat travel to places it shouldn’t go, or shouldn’t stay at least, was more confusing than painful. It was all she could do to make her moans sound like sighs of annoyance. He’d stopped asking her if she was all right about twenty minutes ago, probably to avoid hearing her snap, ‘I’m fine,’ at him again.
As soon as they landed, he let go of her. They stayed at least a foot away from each other after they debarked. The flight attendant was flustered and smiling. At least somebody had a satisfying trip.
“We have a few hours to kill before the flight back. Do you want to go to the beach?” The question was meant to sound flippant, sarcastic, but it came out as if she was asking him out. A demon. The idea of either of them dating was farcical, and the idea of them dating each other would keep her laughing until hell froze over.
“I never pictured you as a long-walk-on-the-beach kind of girl. But no. The salty air is bad for my skin, and I burn easily.” He laughed. “I think I’ll stay inside. Heat is great, but demons prefer the desert kind.”
She hadn’t even thought about that. “Then what do you want to do?”
“Stay inside. Maybe get a room. Interested?”
“Not going to happen.”
“You don’t trust me, hunter?” he asked wickedly. “You know that seatbelt wasn’t what held me back, don’t you?”
“Well, it couldn’t possibly be that you respect me. Sorry, do demons even know that word?”
He looked pained, as if her comment had hurt him.
“I haven’t been to the beach in a long time,” she said quickly, “so I’ll see you in an hour.” She fled towards the long row of cabs. When she looked back, he was gone. Good. Because she hated the beach. Saltwater reminded her too much of things she wanted to forget. She went back inside the airport and found a great place to hide.
Desire she could deal with, ignore. But this? No, this was impossible. Constantly filling her mind, making her say horrifying things. She didn’t flirt! Not even when she was a teenager, before she died, back when her life had been nothing but good. Keira had always been honest, straightforward, blunt. Games were what other people played. Her father taught her that if she wanted something, she had to ask for it, go after it, win it. Do whatever it took and never give up. She’d forgotten that a few times during her imprisonment, but she wouldn’t ever again.
Except when it came to Davyn and these damn feelings. The only thing she wanted was for them to go away. Not because they’d never go anywhere, or she didn’t want to be hurt, or anything stupid like that. They were distracting. And while a distraction might make Davyn hesitate, it would get her killed.
Twenty-Two
Davyn didn’t go to a hotel or anywhere else. He stayed where he could see her without her seeing him. He did a lot of pacing too, and cursing, grumbling, and muttering incoherently, even to himself. That hunter had messed with his head so badly that he was having trouble messing with other people’s heads. He couldn’t even find something workable without wondering if the temptation would hurt anyone else. Who the fuck cared? Demons didn’t. Davyn didn’t.
Until now.
He didn’t say much when he “came back” to the airport because he didn’t know what the fuck to say. Turned out he wasn’t as chatty after hours of hating himself and wanting to smash a wall in, just so his head would be useful for something. ’Cause lately he couldn’t think of anything else it was good for.
He didn’t say much on the airplane because he wanted to remember it, and he barely touched her—releasing his heat into her arm because every other part of her body was dangerous. More dangerous.
He didn’t say anything after they landed in S.F., because if he opened his mouth something stupid would probably come out. He was still high on being above the clouds. They were so beautiful, he’d almost wanted to cry. Thankfully, he hadn’t, as that would prove how much of a fucking wuss he’d become, but it was a close call.
Too damn human-ish.
Kissing her had been a mistake. He tried to blame it on adrenaline, even though demons didn’t produce it. All his other hormones had been fully involved, though. Big mistake. Especially when it started to feel natural, normal, like he’d found where his lips were supposed to be. He gave up trying to rationalize the talking. Talking like…
“Shit.” Yeah, they’d talked. Shared. Fucking horrific.
“What?” she asked, wiping the sweat off her forehead like everyone else in the plane. Evidently, there was a problem with the temperature control that the flight attendants couldn’t figure out. Of course, the hunter probably blamed him…rightfully.
“Nothing.” He’d never questioned the fifty years, except to complain it wasn’t long enough, just like every other Level One did. Now he wasn’t so sure. If he hadn’t gotten that six-month bonus from Rhyse, this shit wouldn’t be happening.
Just outside the airport doors, he stopped. “That was…” It was a deal. She’d held up her end. He would hold up his end. Then it would be over. “It was…”
“Weird,” she offered. “And this is awkward, so I’m gonna go.”
“Me too.”
“I need my hand back.”
He didn’t believe it until he saw it. “Did I do that?”
“Yeah.”
“You were supposed to kick me in the face.”
“We’re in public. People would’ve noticed.”
“Should’ve done it anyway.” Her cheeks were so pink, he wondered if it was an effect of his heat. “Was it too much for you?”
“Your temperature or the…um…way you vented?” Blushing was a totally normal human reaction for anyone other than her. The hunter didn’t blush.
Maybe he was seeing things—their hands bound together, the increased color in her cheeks. An effect of the altitude, maybe. Hell, he’d take just about any explanation other than the one going through his mind.
“It was okay,” she said, before quickly adding, “The heat, I mean. The other part sucked. If you do it again, you’ll get a lot more than a kick in the face.”
“It won’t happen again. Heat of the moment—meant both ways.”
“I was thinking of going back to Lamere’s pretty soon.” Looking for a fight. “Are you in?”
“Nah.” He shook his head. “You’re not allowed to hunt at night, and I already have plans.”
“Doing what?” she asked, her eyes narrowing. “If you’re going after him without me—”
“No worries, puppet. I promise to go out, get loaded, and fuck around with as many minds as I can.” Burn off some steam the old-fashioned way, like he was supposed to. “Then I’ll get together with a female demon and spend the rest of the night fucking around with her.” Like he was supposed to.
He should’ve been happy she flinched. That’s why he’d said it, the reaction he’d wanted. But he wasn’t happy, he was really fucking unhappy. And that realization made him even more so. “I’ll be at your place around noon tomorrow.”
“Noon,” she repeated. “Wow, okay.” She spun around and headed for the line of taxis. “Have fun.”
Fun? Not likely. Twenty minutes ago, he’d been above the clouds. A couple hours ago, he’d been above the clouds kissing a human. It hadn’t been fun as much as perfect. The most perfect day he’d ever had.
“Keira,” he called, but she was already gone. That hunter disappeared like a demon.
He was going to get shit-faced. So shit-faced, he’d forget about her and all the fucking humanity he’d accumulated. Good thing his place was fireproof, because he had about six hundred degrees to burn off.
But he needed to talk to someone first, and all that heat might come in handy.
Davyn wasn’t sure if it was confidence, trust, or stupidity, but the Prime didn’t keep wards up to make sure no one popped into his office unexpected. He’d learn his lesson as soon as he saw the demon. Because Davyn was pre
tty sure this was all the bastard’s fault.
“You fucking did this to me, vamp. You.”
Rhyse raised his head slowly from the papers on his desk and leaned back in his chair. “Perhaps, although I will need more information to know for certain.”
“Six months. An extra six months topside.”
“Yes. I suppose I did that.”
“And this job going after Lamere.”
“I did that too. However, I fail to see what there is to be angry about. Time, money, and an opportunity to kill someone. Is that not all every demon wants?” Most of the time, yeah. But unfortunately, that wasn’t all Davyn wanted anymore. “I also distinctly recall canceling that contract with you yet paying your entire fee.”
Rhyse didn’t care about the money, so why had he canceled the contract? Something wasn’t right and, for his own sanity, Davyn needed to know what it was.
“What was it with you and the vitae? What was going on between the two of you?”
Rhyse was still for a moment, probably weighing all the reasons he should send the demon back to hell versus what he’d traded to keep him here. “Nothing is going on between the two of us.”
Is? “I don’t mean now. I mean six months ago. I saw you two looking at each other in the witch’s barn, all sappy and shit. Between that and the way you’re looking at me now—like you want to kill me just for mentioning her—I’m guessing it was something.”
Since Rhyse was back in business with all his power, Davyn had assumed the vitae died—probably not from natural causes. But now he knew he’d assumed wrong. Why would the vampire let her live, knowing she could destroy him? Motherfucker. Davyn knew the answer, because he’d done it too.
“I’m cursed by proximity,” he mumbled.
“What are you talking about, demon?”
He took a breath, not sure of anything, but needing someone else to blame. “Was this part of the deal you made with my boss? Did you set me up for something, Rhyse? Change me, curse me, so when I go back to hell, I won’t come back?”