Call me after you speak with my parents. Please try to come. You know how much I hate to be bored.
Kiera
I sat back and thought about it. What a wonderful solution. Ryder and I could have some private time together. But after what had happened, could Ryder get his parents to let him go? Then again, if he did join Kiera and me and Donald and Jordan found out about it . . .
Was it worth the risk?
I began my return e-mail to Kiera describing all that had happened.
Literally less than a minute after I sent it, my phone rang.
“Wow!” I heard Kiera say after I said hello. I had actually been afraid it was Ryder. I wasn’t ready to tell him what had gone on here. “And I thought I led a pretty exciting life when I was at Pacifica.”
“It’s not exciting, Kiera. It’s disgusting. I hate Pacifica.”
“Don’t get so dramatic. They’ll start calling you Kiera.”
“They practically have,” I said.
“Really?”
I thought that would bother her, but she laughed. “I guess I’m just too impressive, after all,” she said. “So? Are you going to come? I want to hear more, all the nitty-gritty details. Have you slept with him? What do his parents think of you? Call me as soon as you speak to my parents.”
“Don’t have high hopes. Your father wants to put a ball and chain on me.”
She laughed. “He tried that with me, too. You saw how far that got him. Cry to my mother. She’ll be on your side more than she was on mine.”
I wanted to tell her no, her mother was acting more timidly than I had ever seen her act, and I thought it was because she was afraid of losing Kiera’s father. Was this a good time to mention the rumors? I had strong doubts that her mother ever mentioned any of it.
“I’ll let you know,” I said.
“Talk to them at dinner.”
“I don’t know if this is a good time for it, Kiera.”
“Look, put on the remorseful face. That’s what I used to do. Make it seem as if what he said to you sank in and you’re really confused. You want to get away to think about it all and do the right things. He’ll buy it, especially coming from you.”
“I’ve been telling myself I’m not as good at that sort of thing as you were, or still are, Kiera.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. You’re a woman now. It’s built in.”
I finally smiled. She was impossible. No one could turn a criticism of herself as quickly into a compliment.
“Listen, listen,” she added. “Make it seem as if you’re coming for me as much as for yourself. Tell them I sound lonely or something. They wouldn’t believe such a thing normally, but coming from you, they might. Just find a way to get up here.”
“I’ll try.”
“I’ll wait by the phone. And work on Ryder, too. I can’t wait to see him.”
After I hung up, I sat there thinking. Maybe there was a darker part of myself that I had yet to explore. Maybe I could do what Kiera asked me to do. I wasn’t bad at convincing the girls at Pacifica that I was far more sophisticated than I really was. Of course, in my mind, few of them had the perception or intelligence to see through my exaggerations. Fooling Jordan probably would be as easy, but fooling Donald was another thing. I had a deep suspicion that whatever skills Kiera had in that regard, she had inherited from him. I had seen him in action at work and with guests. The expression “He could sell ice to Eskimos” wasn’t that far-fetched when it was applied to him.
I rose and went to change my clothes and wash away my tears and sadness. If I was going to do this act, I had better get on the makeup and costume, I thought. When I was ready, I went down to the dining room. As I descended the stairway, I tried to think only of what I might get to do. I could be with Ryder when he needed me the most. That built up my courage and my determination, helping me to overcome any remorse.
I just couldn’t get myself to tell Ryder that I wouldn’t be able to see him outside of school. My reluctance to do so wasn’t simply because I really wanted to be with him. It was because of my fear for him. Something inside me, something I had captured when we lived on the streets, empowered me to see impending tragedies. In this case, though, with all of the obvious unhappiness in the Garfield family, it didn’t exactly take the psychic on the beach to envision more heartache.
Jordan and Donald were already at the table. They didn’t look much different from the way they had looked in Donald’s office. Jordan still wore that face of trepidation. Perhaps in her mind and heart, she feared losing Alena again. Donald was stern, determined to drive out whatever of Kiera was in me. I took my seat.
Perhaps because they had both been working for the Marches so long, Mrs. Caro and Mrs. Duval sensed their mood. I suppose it permeated the mansion the way a strong, stale odor might. I could see it in the way they moved, their silence, and their avoidance of anyone’s eyes, even mine. I waited for the food to be served, and after they went back into the kitchen, I said, “I’m sorry.”
Both of them looked up.
“I have a built-in tendency to fall into troubled waters,” I said.
“Oh, no. This is not your fault.” Jordan was finally saying something to support me.
“You’re simply young and finding your way. We want to help you do that, help you avoid as much trouble as possible. You’ve seen enough,” Donald added.
I nodded and ate some of my salad. “My brain gets all fogged up when things like this happen.”
“Understandable.” Donald nodded and smiled.
Here it comes, I thought. Will he see right through me?
“I had a phone call from Kiera.”
“Oh?” Jordan said.
“Don’t tell me she already knows about this business at Pacifica. That kid should work for the LA Times,” Donald told Jordan.
“No, she didn’t know. She called because she was feeling a little lonely.”
“Kiera?” Jordan said. “She has herself. How can she be lonely?”
“Stop that,” Donald said sharply. “What about it?” he asked me.
“She knew that I’m off Tuesday and asked if I could come up there to spend a long weekend with her.”
“Long weekend? Are you off Monday as well?” Donald asked.
“No, but I thought getting away might do both Kiera and me some good.”
He paused and thought.
“I don’t know if Kiera is the best influence on her at this moment,” Jordan said.
Donald glared at her. “You don’t want to give her a chance, do you?”
“Of course I do, but I just thought that—”
“You’d drive up?” Donald asked, interrupting.
“If you think I could.”
“Of course you could. Why couldn’t you?”
“I could leave Friday after school.”
“But we’re all going to Castles on Friday,” Jordan said. It came out more like a whine.
“So, you and I will still go,” Donald told her.
“And what about our shopping for her dress to wear to the concert, Donald? I made arrangements for this Saturday.”
“The concert is a little less than a month away, Jordan. You’ll have time when she’s back.”
“So you’re giving her permission.”
He looked at me so intently I thought I might just say that I had second thoughts. Jordan was right, but I pressed my lips together.
“I am, but I’d like you to leave by midafternoon,” he said. “Traffic on Friday is hell in the late afternoon. I’ll call Dr. Steiner myself. Under the circumstances, with your grades, I don’t think there’ll be a problem.”
“Okay,” I said quickly. “I’ll call Kiera after dinner to tell her.”
“No, I’ll call her,” Donald said. “I want to lay down some rules.”
“No drinking or drugs, for one thing,” Jordan said.
“I doubt you have to tell either of them that after what happened to Kiera, Jordan. I was referrin
g to other things,” he added, and left it cryptic.
I said nothing else. Kiera would surely call me after he had called her.
Jordan reached over to take my hand. “I suppose your getting away is a good idea, Sasha. Just be careful. By the time you return, I’m sure Ryder Garfield will have found another girlfriend and you won’t feel so bad.”
“If they let him return to Pacifica at all,” Donald added. “I might have something to say about that as well.”
I looked at him.
Why was he so adamant about Ryder and me, even to the point of doing something like this?
Something in his face frightened me.
He didn’t look so much like a concerned parent.
He looked more like a jealous lover.
14
Deception
You did it!” Kiera said when I said hello. “I just knew you could.”
I was still feeling ambivalent about it. Now I was part of so much deception and lying that I felt as if I was standing on a ladder created out of cardboard. One more lie, and I would come tumbling down like Humpty Dumpty, and in both Donald’s and Jordan’s eyes, I wouldn’t be able to be put together again.
“Did you call Ryder Garfield?”
“Not yet.”
“What are you waiting for?”
“Your father said he was going to call you first. I wanted to be sure everything was still on. What did he say?”
“He was very tricky, or tried to be.”
“What do you mean?”
“First, he was trying to see if I really invited you first or you invited yourself, and then he wanted to know what you had told me about Ryder Garfield. He sounded very suspicious. You were right. He has a particular dislike for him.”
“Oh.”
Maybe he had seen through me at dinner, I thought, but why would he still approve of my visiting Kiera? In this house, I could never believe things that were said the first time they were said. I had to think hard about why they were said and what they really meant. Here, the most difficult thing to find was the truth. Kiera lied constantly to her parents. Donald lied to Jordan, and Jordan lied constantly to herself. Now I was part of their world of falsehood. In a strange and eerie way, I had become a March, after all.
“Don’t worry about it. I was very nonchalant,” Kiera told me. “I said you told me he was a troubled but nice boy. You wanted advice on what to do, and I told you look for someone with no baggage. Who has time for other people’s problems, especially boys’? He liked that and told me to encourage you not to get so serious with anyone while you were so young. He gave me a backhanded compliment. He said no one knows better than I do how to avoid being serious, and I could be a good influence on you for a change.” She laughed. “Me? A good influence? I think when it comes to me, he really believes it’s the other way around. No decent young man would get serious about me. Won’t he be surprised when he finds out about Richard?
“Anyway,” she continued, “I think that’s why he approved your visiting me. I’m to give you a Kiera March pep talk. So, as Richard says, ‘no worries.’ ”
“He says that? That’s Australian, not English.”
“He’s brilliant. He can speak French, Italian, and Australian,” she said, and laughed again. “Are you calling Ryder, or aren’t you?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Okay. Let me know when that’s settled. I’ve already made the reservation. I’ll e-mail you the directions. We’re going to have a great time. See you soon.”
After we hung up, I sat thinking. Maybe it was all going too fast. Maybe I should have waited before asking permission to visit Kiera. I admitted to myself that I had acted out of anger, but now that Donald had called Kiera, it was too late to change my plans. Jordan and Donald would seriously question what had suddenly made me decide against going. Ironically, they would suspect some secret rendezvous between Ryder and me here instead of up there with Kiera.
Very nervous about it all, I called Ryder. I thought he wasn’t going to pick up when it rang four times, but then I heard him say, “Just a minute.” A good thirty seconds or so passed before he came on again.
“Hi.”
“What happened? Why couldn’t you talk?”
“I’m practically hiding in a closet,” he said. “It’s a little like Iraq or something here. IEDs everywhere I walk. Either my father or my mother has to cancel a shoot tomorrow to go with me to see Dr. Steiner, and that’s equivalent to being diagnosed with a fatal illness in this family. They’re arguing about it right now.”
“I’m sorry, Ryder.”
“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything.”
“I should have waited longer to tell you what was being said.”
“It would have all happened anyway. So, has the news reached the March castle? Is your foster father or whatever you call him giving you a hard time about me?”
There didn’t seem any way to postpone bad news when it came to Ryder Garfield. He knew too well how to look for it.
“Yes,” I said. “He doesn’t want me seeing you socially.”
“Figures. It’s my own fault. I provided the excuse. I certainly didn’t want to make any trouble for you. I have enough to do making trouble for myself. If your psychic friend from the beach were here, she’d predict a long life of unhappiness.”
“Don’t think like that.”
“No? Why shouldn’t I? You were the first good thing to happen to me, and I blew it.”
“No, you didn’t. Listen, I was speaking to Kiera. She invited me to visit her this coming weekend, to take advantage of our Tuesday off. She suggested I ask you to meet us.”
“Really? Where?”
“Not her dorm or college. She’s renting a two-bed room at a motel she goes to with her English boyfriend. He had to return to England because of a serious family illness, so she asked me to visit, and then when she found out what happened with you, she suggested you come along, too.”
“Will the Sheriff of Nottingham let you go?”
“Yes, but he thinks . . .”
“You’re getting away from me?”
“Something like that.”
“Hmm . . . that guy doesn’t strike me as the naive type, Sasha.”
“It’s complicated. In an ironic way, he thinks I need advice from Kiera on how to conduct my romantic relationships.”
“So we’re in a romantic relationship?”
“I’m doing a calligraphy of love to give you. You’ll figure it out after a while, say ten years.”
He laughed. “When are you going?”
“I’m leaving early from school tomorrow.”
“Just the three of us, then?”
“Yes.” I paused. “I don’t know what I’m saying or doing. You could get into more trouble. I could get into more trouble.”
“But you still would like me to do it?”
“I just think this is all so unfair.”
He was quiet. I was afraid I was pushing him into something he instinctively knew was bad, even dangerous.
“Don’t do it, Ryder. Forget I even mentioned it. We’ll only be sorrier.”
“Not possible to be any sorrier than I am. I’m supposed to be grounded for a month, but I’ve ignored that before,” he said. “You just tell me where and when. I’ll be there.”
“Are you sure?”
“Never more sure,” he replied. “You don’t want me just pouting at home like my sister, do you?”
“No, but what’s going to happen when they realize you’re gone?”
“They won’t make a big scene. That would bring the entertainment press to the doorstep. They’ll tell the school I’m home sick or something and wait for me to return. As you know, I’ve run away before. Celebrities always lie about their real-life problems. It’s practically expected. Don’t worry about it.”
“Okay.”
“Then it’s settled. I’ll see you in school tomorrow after they cut off one of my fingers, and you can
give me the details.”
“Stop it,” I said.
He didn’t laugh. He just said good-bye and hung up.
The knock that followed on my door came so quickly after the call had ended that I suspected Donald had been standing out there listening. It gave me a burning chill when he entered. I was expecting the worst.
“Okay,” he said. “I’ve had a talk with Kiera. She understands what I expect and don’t expect. I’ve written a note for you to give to the office tomorrow, granting you permission to leave early.” He put it on my desk. “I want you to call here to tell us when you have arrived. I assume you’ve gotten all the directions.”
“Yes. Kiera’s e-mailed them, but I remember when we all drove up there last year, anyway.”
He nodded. “When you return, we’ll talk again. I do want to spend more time with you, Sasha. I don’t want you to see me as a prison guard or something.”
He stepped closer to me and took my hand. The gesture surprised me.
“You’re too precious to us now to have things go wrong just when you’re on the threshold of doing great things. I won’t let that happen. You’ll have to learn to trust me more. Do you think you can do that?”
“Yes,” I said.
He smiled. “I don’t enjoy there being any tension between us, not a bit. I’d never admit this to anyone else,” he added, “but I’m prouder of you than I am of my daughter.”
He kissed me on the cheek and then brushed my hair before turning to leave. I stood there frozen. If he found out about the weekend and Ryder Garfield, he would surely feel deeply betrayed. I had no doubt he would want to get me out of his house and his life. It would seem so ridiculous to anyone who knew me now, but I feared finding myself back on the streets. It wasn’t the first time such a fear had entered my mind, but it was usually in nightmares. In them, I saw myself, ragged and dirty, selling meaningless things or begging and suddenly seeing the girls of Pacifica come walking by, laughing at me, tossing pennies at me.