He broke away, pressed his face against my hair.
�Ah, Jennifer, I was crazy to leave. I was just insanely scared, because I knew I�d have to leave sometime. And I didn�t want to fall for you any harder than I�d already fallen. It was so hard to pack up and leave, but I thought if I stayed it would be worse by the end of summer. Because I do have to leave, you know. Eventually, I have to go into the army at the end of the summer. I�ve already enlisted.�
I heard the desperation in his voice, the worry, the trying to spare us both a world of hurt that only caused more hurt.
�We�ll worry about that at the end of the summer,� I said.
Then we were kissing again, creating our own fireworks.
CHAPTER 36
It was almost two in the morning when we returned to the beach house. No evidence that there had been a party there. Everything had been cleaned up. We�d learned our lesson last time. The place was deserted. Empty. And I hoped that everyone had as grand a time as I did.
Dylan and I had watched all the fireworks, then sailed around the lagoon for a while longer before finally pulling the boat to the dock and heading back to the house.
�Guess you won�t be sleeping in my tent with me,� he said, as we stood outside the door.
�Didn�t think you had a tent.�
�I don�t.�
�Where are you going to sleep then?�
�If it�s okay, I might just roll my sleeping bag out here.�
�We have an extra bedroom,� I offered. �Alex used to sleep there, but he got lucky with Amy.�
�Any chance I�ll get lucky with you?�
I smiled shyly, secretively. �There�s always a chance.�
We went inside and said good night outside my bedroom. And then I lay in the dark with the wind blowing in through the window and the ocean singing a lullaby in the distance. The house grew quiet. The way it did when everyone inside was drifting off to sleep, and I thought I was probably the only one still awake.
Then I heard a noise, like someone trying so hard to be very quiet that he really wasn�t. My bedroom door opened. I wasn�t frightened. And I realized that I wasn�t even very surprised that he�d come.
I was glad actually. Happy. He was there. Just like I�d imagined for so many days.
He didn�t say a word. Just came inside, closed the door behind him, and got into bed with me. He put his arms around me, and we snuggled close beneath the sheets. That was all. Just holding each other, wondering what tomorrow might bring.
Dylan was still asleep when I woke up the next morning. It seemed no matter what time I went to bed, I�d developed the habit of waking up just before dawn so I could have that alone time in the kitchen. Just me and my green tea and the smell of cinnamon rolls baking. I watched him for a while. There wasn�t much light, so a lot of shadows still hovered around us. I couldn�t see him clearly, but it was more his presence that I watched. The wonder of his coming back.
What did it mean really? He�d deserted his best friend, abandoned his plans to camp along the coast. He�d come back to me, for me. That was a scary thought. A wonderful realization. It made everything seem bigger than either of us.
I eased out of bed, not wanting to wake him. Wanting my alone time to try to figure out exactly how I felt about him, about our situation. He�d told me that he loved me. My heart expanded now as it had when he�d first spoken the words. I hadn�t given them back to him. I�d been too scared, too doubtful, too unsure of what would happen if I opened my heart completely to him. Was he here to stay as long as he could? He�d said he was, but did I trust him? How could I even consider that I loved him if I didn�t trust him?
Because I loved him, too. And that was crazy. To fall in love so fast and so hard. With someone who would only leave me again, eventually. He had no choice. So his leaving would be different then. He�d leave because he had to. The question was: Could I accept and live with that?
I crept down to the kitchen, made my tea, put the cinnamon rolls into the oven, and sat on the bench seat by the window and looked out on the bay. I could hear the dolphins yakking to each other. An occasional foghorn. It was serene here. And I realized that I felt more tranquil at that moment than I had since Dylan had left, maybe even since the summer had begun. Because he�d returned, and it was like he belonged here. Like the house and I and everything were back in harmony.
I heard a whisper of a sound and turned to see Amy coming into the kitchen. �Hey,� she whispered. She poured herself a glass of orange juice and joined me at the table. �How did it go with Dylan?�
�He said he loves me.�
�That�s great, Jen.�
�I�m going to let him stay here with us.�
�That�s cool. I�m glad actually. Now I won�t feel so guilty about having someone while you don�t.�
That was so typical of Amy. When Dylan had been here before, it had never occurred to me to worry that Amy might be feeling left out. But Amy did worry about things like that. It was part of the reason that she had such an affinity for strays. She wanted to give everyone a home in her heart.
�I thought I heard you two.�
With a yawn, Chelsea dropped down onto the bench beside Amy.
�Dylan is going to move in with us,� Amy told her.
�So you decided to forgive him,� Chelsea said.
�I don�t know if there was really anything to forgive, Chels. He had his plans, I had mine. We hadn�t planned on each other. I don�t know if we were really ready for each other at the beginning of the summer. I think we are now.�
�Love is so totally scary,� Chelsea said. �How do you know if he�s the right guy for forever?�
�Maybe you don�t,� I said. �Maybe you just know that he�s the right guy for now.�
The timer went off. I got up and took the cinnamon rolls out of the oven, placed them on the table along with the icing. We all sat there, slathering on gobs of icing and eating the warm rolls. It was strange that the summer wasn�t turning out to be anything like I�d planned, and yet at this moment, it was exactly how I�d always envisioned it.
The three of us sitting in the kitchen at dawn, watching the sunrise, while we ate warm cinnamon rolls. Friends again, friends forever. Always there for each other.
I couldn�t figure out why I thought I�d lost this. Because here it was. As natural as anything.
Chelsea chewed on her roll, a thoughtful expression on her face. Then she swallowed and asked, �I�ve had the main bedroom longer than I was supposed to, and Amy doesn�t want to move into it, so did you want to go ahead and swap rooms today? You know, since Dylan is here, and it is bigger, romantic with the balcony and everything. I don�t mind if you want to have it now, since I�ve had it for so long.�
I slowly shook my head. My grandparents� bedroom. I had wanted it so badly, and now, I thought that I didn�t want a room that would have their presence in it. It was funny, but I wanted a room that had become mine. A room that would become ours. Last night we�d only held each other, but tonight�well, tonight there might be more. Yes, tonight there would almost certainly be more.
�No,� I said, �but thanks for offering.�
�No big deal.�
But it was. Because we were all friends again. Thinking of each other and what each of us needed more than we were thinking about ourselves and what each of us wanted.
When I�d come up with this brilliant plan for us to spend the summer together, I�d done it partly because I was terrified of a future that didn�t have Chelsea and Amy in it. If I was honest with myself, that was the real reason that I wanted us to have this time together. Because I was scared. Scared of what my life would be like without them in it.
But now I understood that they would always be in it. No matter how far away from each other we were, we�d always be together. That�s what friendship and love were all about. Distance and time couldn�t touch them.
�I love you
guys,� I said suddenly. �I really do. This is going to be the best summer ever.�
�It already is,� they said at the same time, smiling at me.
Like they knew what it was I was trying to say, like they felt the same way and understood. Everything would change in the fall, but so many things would remain the same.
I remembered my horoscope that first day when we�d come to the island. I�d taken an unexpected journey, after all.
�Later,� I said.
I went back to my bedroom. The morning sunlight was filtering in through the window. Dylan opened his eyes and smiled at me. �Hey.�
�I love you,� I said.
His crooked grin grew. I loved his smile and the way he held me when I climbed back into the bed, and the way that he kissed me. I was scared, I couldn�t deny that I was scared. He�d be going away, but for now he was with me. And that was all that mattered.
And we�d make the most of every minute of every day. And when he left�well, my love would go with him�and his would stay behind with me.
But until then, we had memories to make.
About the Author
RACHEL HAWTHORNE lives near Dallas, Texas, with her husband, two sons, and a dog. Before writing full-time, she was a programmer but quickly discovered that creating stories was more fun than creating code.
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ALSO BY RACHEL HAWTHORNE
Caribbean Cruising
Copyright
ISLAND GIRLS (AND BOYS). Copyright � 2007 by Rachel Hawthorne. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.
ePub Edition May 2007 ISBN 9780061756788
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Rachel Hawthorne, Island Girls (And Boys)
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