CHAPTER FORTY TWO.
A SOUND SLEEP AT LAST.
I was not disappointed. I slept for a period of twelve hours'duration--not without many fearful dreams--terrible encounters withcrabs and rats. So far as the comfort of the thing was concerned, Imight almost as well have been awake, and actually engaged in suchconflicts. My sleep was far from refreshing, notwithstanding its longcontinuance; but it was pleasant on awaking to find that my unwelcomevisitors had not been back again, and that no breach had been made in mydefences. I groped all around, and found that everything was just as Ihad left it.
For several days, I felt comparatively at my ease. I had no longer anyapprehension of danger from the rats, though I knew they were stillclose to me. When the weather was calm (and it continued so for a longwhile), I could hear the animals outside, busy at whatever they had todo, rattling about among the packages of merchandise, and occasionallyuttering spiteful shrieks, as if they were engaged in combats with eachother. But their voices no longer terrified me, as I was pretty surethey could not get nearer me. Whenever, for any purpose, I removed oneof the cloth pieces with which my little cabin was "chinked," I tookgood care to return it to its place again, before any of the animalscould know that the aperture was open.
I experienced a good deal of discomfort from being thus shut up. Theweather was exceedingly warm; and as not a breath of air could reach me,or circulate through the apartment, it felt at times as hot as theinside of a baker's oven. Very likely we were sailing under the line,or, at all events, in some part of the tropical latitudes; and thiswould account for the calmness of the atmosphere, since, in theselatitudes, stormy weather is much more rare than in either of theso-called temperate zones. Once, indeed, during this time, weexperienced a very sharp gale, which lasted for a day and night. It wassucceeded as usual by a heavy swell, during which the ship tumbledabout, as if she would turn bottom upwards.
I was not sea-sick on this occasion; but, as I had nothing to hold onby, I was sadly rolled about in my little cabin, now pitching headforemost against the butt, now falling backward upon the side of theship, till every bone in my body was as sore as if I had been cudgelled!The rocking of the vessel, too, occasionally caused the boxes andbarrels to move a little; and this had the effect of loosening the clothcaulking, and causing it to drop out. Still apprehensive of an inroadfrom the rats, I was kept busy, all the time the gale lasted, inplugging the crevices afresh.
Upon the whole, I think that this employment was pleasanter than doingnothing. It rather helped me to pass the time; and the two days duringwhich the gale and swell kept me so occupied, seemed shorter than anyother two. By far the bitterest hours were those in which I could findnothing at all to do--absolutely nothing to engage my thoughts. Then Iwould remain for long hours together--sometimes without making a motion,or changing the attitude in which I lay--sometimes without even having athought; and thus dark, and lonely, and longing, I feared that my reasonwould forsake me, and that I should go mad!
In this way, two more weeks had passed over, as I knew by the notches onmy stick. Otherwise they might have been months--ay, years--so long didthe time appear. With the exception of the hours in which weexperienced the gale, all the rest was complete monotony; and not onefact or occurrence transpired to make an impression on my memory.
During all this time, I had strictly adhered to my regulations regardingfood and drink. Notwithstanding that I often hungered, and could haveeaten up a week's allowance at a single meal, I had not exceeded theprescribed ration. Many a time it cost me an effort to deny myself; andoften the half biscuit, which was to serve for another meal, was putaside with most tardy reluctance, and seemed to cling to my fingers, asI placed it on the little shelf. But I congratulated myself that up tothis time--with the exception of that day upon which I had eaten thefour biscuits at a meal--I had been able to keep my resolve, and contendbravely against the craving appetite of hunger.
Thirsty I never was. I had no uneasiness on this score. My ration ofwater was quite enough for me, and more than enough. On most days Iused far short of the allowance, and could drink as much as I wanted.
The supply of biscuits I had brought inside, when shutting myself upagainst the rats, was at length exhausted. I was glad of this. Itproved that time was passing away--two weeks must have elapsed, as I hadcounted the biscuits at the commencement of this period, and found thatthey were just the allowance for so long. The time, then, had comeround for me to go back to my larder, and procure a fresh supply.
As I proceeded to do so, a singular apprehension arose in my mind. Itcame suddenly, as if an arrow had been shot into my heart. It was thepresentiment, of a great misfortune; or not exactly a presentiment, buta fear caused by something I had noticed only the minute before. I hadheard a noise outside, which as usual I attributed to my neighbours therats. Often, indeed almost continually, similar noises had proceededfrom without, but none that impressed me like this, for it appeared toreach me from a new direction--the direction of the biscuit-box.
My fingers trembled as I removed the web; and still more as I thrust myhands into the box. Merciful heavens! _the box was empty_!
No, not empty. As I plunged my hand deeper, it rested upon somethingsoft and smooth--a rat. The animal sprang suddenly aside as it felt mytouch, and I drew back my hand with a like rapid movement. MechanicallyI felt in another place, only to touch another rat, and then another,and another! The box appeared half full of them, side by side, as closeas they could sit. They leaped about and scattered off in differentdirections, some even jumping against my breast, as they shot out by theaperture, and others striking the sides of the box, and uttering loudcries.
I succeeded in routing them. But, alas! when they were gone, and Iproceeded to examine my store, I found, to my chagrin, that nearly thewhole of my biscuits were gone too! All of them that were left werebroken to pieces, and nothing remained in the box, but a pile of crumbscovering the bottom, upon which the rats had been feeding at the momentI surprised them.
This was an evil of the grandest magnitude; and I was so overwhelmedupon the discovery of it, that for a time I scarce knew what I wasdoing.
The consequences were plain enough. My provisions were gone--starvationstared me in the face. Nay, starvation was no longer a matter of doubt.It was now certain. The mumbled crumbs which the hideous robbers hadleft (and which they would also have eaten up in another hour, had I notsurprised them) would not keep the life in me for a week; and what then?ay, what then! Starvation--death by hunger!
There was no alternative. So reasoned I, and how could it be otherwise?
For awhile, I felt reckless and despairing--almost reckless enough torefrain from taking any steps to hinder the rats from returning to thebox. It was my belief, that I must in the end succumb to thismisfortune--_must starve_--and it was no use procrastinating my fate. Imight as well die at once, as at the end of the week. To live for days,knowing that death was certain, would be a terrible state of endurance--worse than death itself; and here again returned to me those darksuicidal thoughts, that had once before passed through my mind.
They troubled me only for a moment. The remembrance that I had had thembefore, and that then I had been delivered from them--as it weremiraculously--that although I could not see how it was to be found,there might still be a way of escape--the hand of Providence, as it haddone already, might still be held over me, and point out that way--thesereflections and remembrances came back into my mind, and once more a rayof hope shone upon my future. True, there was no definite hope, butjust enough to arouse me to fresh energy, and save me from absolutedespair. The presence of the rats, too, had an effect in quickening myactions. I perceived that they were still close at hand, threatening tore-enter the box and finish their work of demolition. In truth, I couldnow only keep them out by making the most violent demonstrations.
I found that the place where they had got in was not the aperture whichI myself used. That was closed
up with the web, and they could not passthrough there. They had entered on the opposite side, from the box ofcloth, into which they had been able to make their way, since I hadmyself removed one of the boards out of its side. It had all been donerecently; or, more likely, to cut through the thick plank had employedthem for some time, and so delayed the execution of their design. Butfor this, they might have reached the inside sooner, and then not amorsel would have been left. No doubt it was for the purpose of gettingat the biscuits that they had swarmed once or twice into my chamber--forthat gave them free access to the box.
I now deeply regretted my negligence in not securing my store in a safeway. I had already thought of doing so, but I never imagined thesecreatures could make an entry from behind, and I knew that the web ofcloth completely shut them out on the inside.
Alas! it was now too late; regrets were idle; and, following out thatinstinct which prompts us to preserve life as long as we can, Itransferred the fragments from the box to my little shelf inside; andthen, making all tight as before, I lay down to reflect upon mysituation, rendered gloomier than ever by this unexpected misfortune.