CHAPTER FORTY SEVEN.
EXCELSIOR!
It was some time before I recovered strength or spirit to arouse myself.But for hunger, I might have remained longer in the sort of torpidlethargy into which I had fallen; but nature craved loudly forsustenance. I could have eaten my crumbs where I lay, and would havedone so, but that thirst carried me back to my old quarters. It madelittle difference where I slept, as I could have fenced myself againstthe rats within either of the boxes; but it was necessary to be near thewater-butt, and this alone influenced me in the choice of mysleeping-place.
It was not such an easy matter getting back to my former position. Manypieces of cloth had to be lifted out of the way and drawn behind me.They had to be placed carefully, else on reaching the entrance to mychamber, I should not be able to clear a space large enough to containmy body.
I succeeded, however, in effecting my purpose; and having eaten mymorsel, and quenched my feverish thirst, I fell back upon the mass ofcloth, and was asleep in the twinkling of an eye.
I had taken the usual precaution to close the gates of my fortress, andthis time I slept my sleep out, undisturbed by the rats.
In the morning--or rather, I should say, in the hour of my awaking--Iagain ate and drank. I know not whether it was morning; for, inconsequence of my watch having once or twice run down, I could no longertell night from day; and my sleep, now not regular as formerly, failedto inform me of the hours. What I ate failed to satisfy hunger. Allthe food that was left me would not have sufficed for that; and not theleast difficult part I had to perform, was the restraining myself fromeating out my whole stock at a meal. I could easily have done it, andit required all my resolution to refrain. But my resolution was backedby the too certain knowledge that such a meal would be my last, and myabstinence was strengthened simply by the fear of starvation.
Having breakfasted, then, as sparingly as possible, and filled mystomach with water instead of food, I once more worked my way into thesecond cloth-box, determined to continue my search as long as strengthwas left me. There was not much left now. I knew that what I ate wasbarely sufficient to sustain life, and I felt that I was fast wastingaway. My ribs projected like those of a skeleton, and it was as much asI could do to move the heavier pieces of the cloth.
One end of all the boxes, as already stated, was placed against the sideof the ship. Of course, it was of no use tunnelling in that direction;but the end of the second case, which faced inwards, I had not yettried. This was now my task.
I need not detail the particulars of the work. It resembled that I hadexecuted already, and lasted for several successive hours. The resultwas, once again, a painful disappointment. Another bale of linen! Icould go no farther in that direction. And now no farther in anydirection!
Boxes of broadcloth and bales of linen were all around me. I could notpenetrate beyond. I could not make a way through them. There was noroom for further progress.
This was the melancholy conclusion at which I had arrived, and I wasonce more thrown back into my despairing mood.
Fortunately, this did not last long, for shortly after a train ofthought came into my mind that prompted me to further action. It wasmemory that came to my aid. I remembered having read a book, whichdescribed very beautifully the struggles of a boy, amidst greatdifficulties--how he bravely refused to yield to each newdisappointment; but, by dint of courage and perseverance, overcame everyobstacle, and at last obtained success. I remembered, too, that thisboy had adopted for his motto, the Latin word "Excelsior," which wasexplained to mean "_higher_" or "_upward_."
On reflecting upon the struggles which this boy had undergone, and howhe had succeeded in surmounting so many difficulties--some even as greatas those that surrounded myself--I was nerved to make a new effort.
But I believe it was this peculiar word, "Excelsior," that guided me inmy after proceedings, for by its most literal sense was I directed._Upward_, thought I; I might search upward. Why did it not occur to mebefore? There might be food in this direction, as likely as in anyother, and certainly I had no choice, as every other direction had beentried. I resolved, then, to search _upward_.
In another minute I was upon my back, knife in hand. I propped myselfwith pieces of cloth, so that I might work more conveniently, and aftergroping out one of the divisions of the lid, I commenced notching itcrossways.
The board at length gave way to my exertions. I dragged it downwards.Oh, heavens! were my hopes again destined to suffer defeat and mockery?
Alas! it was even so. The coarse, hard-grained canvas, with the dullsodden mass behind it, answered me with a sad affirmative.
There yet remained the upper side of the other case, and then that ofthe biscuit-box. Both should be tried as a last effort, and that beforeI could again sleep.
And both _were_ tried, with like evil fortune. Upon the former rested acase of the cloth, while another bale of linen completely covered thetop of the latter.
"Merciful God! am I forsaken?"
Such was my exclamation as I sank back into an attitude of completeexhaustion.