Would that be her someday, married to an actor years after the two of them had lived out their onscreen dreams? Or would the man holding her baby be a former football player, like her daddy? Bailey couldn’t picture what the future held, only the present. She and Tim were still seeing each other. He was supposed to stop by for dessert later — an invitation Katy had personally given him.
Bailey walked the pies into the kitchen where Ashley was placing potato pieces into a pot of boiling water. “Hey!” She looked up and blew at a wisp of her bangs. “Happy Thanksgiving!”
“You too.” She set the pies down and moved closer. Out of all the Baxter sisters, Bailey was easily closest to Ashley. She babysat for her, and back during her CKT days, Ashley had been at many rehearsals painting backdrops and pitching in with the sets. “Where are the kids?”
“With Landon.” Ashley took another handful of potatoes and set them into the water. “He’s convinced Janessa loves football.”
Bailey laughed. In the other room she could hear her parents talking to Kari and Ryan, and beyond them there were other voices. Luke and John Baxter’s and the rest of them. She noticed the frozen bags of peas sitting alongside the kitchen sink. “Need help?”
“Not just yet. But stick around. I’m sure we’ll think of something.”
They talked for a few minutes about Ashley’s painting schedule and Bailey’s rehearsals. “I’ll be pretty busy until the show closes mid-December.”
“I love Scrooge as a musical.” Ashley finished her job and put a lid on the pot. She turned to Bailey and wiped the back of her hand across her forehead. “We’re all going. I think on opening night.”
Bailey felt a wave of nervousness, but it quickly passed. She’d played to full houses at every CKT opening night. This wouldn’t be much different. “Tim’s doing great. I mean, sometimes I think he is Scrooge.”
Ashley’s eyes were kind, but they looked at her a little deeper than before. “How are things? You and Tim?”
“Good.” Her answer came a little too quick. She could tell from her expression that Ashley wanted a different answer from the expected one. “It really is. I just wish …”
“You could stop thinking about Cody?”
Bailey felt something sad fill her eyes. “Yeah. I haven’t talked to him in weeks.”
“Your mom was telling me that.” A knowing look crossed her face. “You know why, right?”
“‘Cause of Tim.” She took in a slow breath. “Love’s so complicated.”
“Well said.” Ashley’s quiet laugh was that of someone who had been there. “Only by God’s grace did Landon and I find our way together.”
“I can’t picture you two apart.”
“We almost let it go.” She looked out the window. Snow was falling harder now. “We would’ve regretted that the rest of our lives. But even still we almost didn’t make it.” She looked at Bailey again. “Sometimes the most difficult path is the very one we’re supposed to be on.”
“Hmmm.” She could’ve been talking about Bailey and Cody, for sure. “I keep praying, asking God to show me.”
“He will.” Ashley put her hand on Bailey’s shoulder. “In His time He’ll show you just what you need to know. I would only add one piece of advice.”
“What?”
“Be looking. Because the kind of love God wants for us, the kind I have with Landon … That sort of love rarely happens twice.”
Bailey’s mom, Katy, and Ashley’s three sisters entered the kitchen ready to do their part to move the dinner along. Their chatter ended the quiet moment between Bailey and Ashley.
Bailey opened the cans of black olives and poured them into one of the serving dishes. She was tossing the cans into the garage recycling bin when from her back pocket she felt her cell phone buzz. Probably Tim texting her about what time he should stop by. She paused on the steps of the garage and checked.
But the text wasn’t from Tim. Once again it was from Cody. Bailey felt her breath catch a little as she stared at the message on her screen.
HAVEN’T TALKED TO YOU IN A WHILE … JUST WANTED TO WISH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY A HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She hesitated, looking from his name to the message and back again. Andi had been talking to Cody almost daily, and she’d told Bailey that Cody was spending Thanksgiving with his mom. Just the two of them. Andi might be Cody’s new friend, but Bailey knew him better. She understood how difficult spending time with his mother was for him. His father hadn’t been in the picture since he was a baby, and his mom had introduced him to drinking games when he was just fourteen. By the time he reached his senior year in high school she was in prison on drug charges. She’d been out for several years now, deeply sorry for how she’d let Cody down during his growing-up years and clean from drugs and alcohol as far as Bailey knew. But it was still difficult. In the past Cody — and then in later years both he and his mom — had spent Thanksgiving with Bailey’s family. Cody had less of a problem being with his mom when they were in a big group.
He had to feel lonely today, same as Bailey.
She exhaled and realized something: this must be the reason she’d felt down on the way to the Matthews’ house. She was missing Cody. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, whether they had spoken only hours ago or not for the past few weeks … she missed him.
The happy mix of voices continued on the other side of the garage door, but where Bailey was standing, a few feet from the trash and recycling bins, it was cold and quiet. She tapped out a quick response.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU AND YOUR MOM TOO. WE MISS YOU.
She leaned against the cool garage wall and waited, reading his message and hers twice more before the next text came through.
HOW’S TIM?
Anger stirred the muddy waters in Bailey’s soul. Couldn’t he at least tell her he felt the same way, that he missed her as much as she missed him? The way he’d told her that day when she was on her way to rehearsal? He did miss her — he had to, otherwise he wouldn’t have texted her.
She slid her phone shut in a rush and slipped it back into her pocket. They wouldn’t have any friendship at all until he could see past her relationship with Tim. Cody had been her friend long before she started dating Tim. The fact that he continued to let Tim come between them meant only one thing.
He was okay with letting their friendship slip away.
Everyone was setting the table when she returned to the kitchen, and the dining area was a joyful chaos of little kids being seated at one of three tables and highchairs sliding into place. Bailey pitched in, setting bowls of sweet potatoes on the various tables and finally taking the place between her mom and Ricky. All around the dining room people talked and laughed, celebrating the time together and remarking about the look and smell of the food spread out before them.
But Bailey felt no hunger. She wanted to call Cody and tell him to quit being so distant, to get in his car and come over so they could walk down to the lake in the snow and find what they’d lost these last few months. The idea was ridiculous for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was that Tim would be here in an hour.
When everyone was seated, Dayne stood and prayed. “Father, we come to You this Thanksgiving Day with full hearts. Thank You for giving us eternal life, and for the people around this table. Thank You for long-lasting relationships, and for new life —” He paused, his voice rich and full. “— like baby Sophie and baby Janessa. We have so much to be grateful for, dear God. Bless this food to our bodies, and thank You for providing it. We love You, Lord. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
A round of amens echoed from around the room.
After everyone served their plates, Dayne asked them to share what they were most thankful for.
“One rule.” Katy smiled at the group. “An answer can only be given once.”
“I’m first!” Cole, Ashley’s son, jumped up and raised his hand. Landon helped him back to his seat.
“Cole will go last.” He put his arm
around Cole.
“Ahh, Dad.” Cole wasn’t really that upset, because his eyes still danced. “All the good answers will be taken.”
“You can be thankful for me, Coley!” Maddie, Brooke’s oldest, cast a teasing look across the table at her cousin. “Unless that one’s already taken.”
Everyone laughed, and the round of thanks began. Bailey was glad for the distraction. People quickly moved from being thankful for God and family and friends and food to specific things — the success of the local crisis pregnancy center, the way the Colts were coming together for Bailey’s dad, and her brother Shawn’s A on a recent biology test. Bailey felt her phone receive another text message just as her turn arrived. She ignored it. “I’m thankful for my roommate, Andi. She’s sort of like a sister, and I’m grateful for that.”
Finally it was Cole’s turn. He thought for a long moment, clearly struggling to think of an answer. Finally he threw his hands in the air. “Okay, fine. I’m thankful for Maddie.”
“Thank you, Coley.” Maddie folded her hands on the table and gave her cousin a satisfied smile. “I’m thankful for you too.”
Again everyone laughed, and conversations broke out all around. Bailey poked her fork around in her peas and mashed potatoes, but all she could think about was the text waiting for her. Even during a regular dinner, her parents didn’t like them texting. Today that would be especially true. She ate a few bites of turkey and set her fork down.
“You okay?” Her mom’s smile was full of compassion.
As usual, she could read Bailey’s heart and mind even though nothing had been said about the text messages. Bailey shrugged one shoulder. “Cody texted me.”
“And?” With so many people talking around the room no one listened to them.
“Wished me a Happy Thanksgiving.” She sighed. “I told him I missed him, and instead of saying he missed me, too, he just asked me how Tim was.”
Her mom gave her a sympathetic smile. “Maybe he’s being smart.”
“How?”
“He’s making you think about your decisions.” She put her arm around Bailey’s shoulders and gave her a gentle squeeze. “Look who you’re sitting here thinking about.”
Her mom had a point. But was Cody’s silence really deliberate? With all the time he spent talking to Andi, it seemed like only a slight possibility. “Maybe he’s interested in Andi. He doesn’t want me missing him, when I’m supposed to be thinking about Tim. You know …” She met her mom’s eyes. “So I don’t do something stupid like start liking him again.”
“I don’t think so.” Her mom picked up her knife and fork and cut a bite of turkey.
“You seem so sure.”
“I am sure.” Confidence shone in her eyes. “I saw how he looked at you that day at our house. He adores you, Bailey. No matter what you decide, I think maybe he always will.”
Bailey hung onto that thought.
When dinner was over, everyone worked together clearing the tables and loading Katy and Dayne’s two dishwashers. Bailey was helping her mom and Ashley place ten pies along the granite kitchen bar when the doorbell rang. Dayne answered it, and Bailey watched from where she worked as Tim Reed stepped inside. He and Dayne talked for a minute, the way they always did when they saw each other. Tim had been one of the first CKT kids Dayne met, and the two shared a special friendship. Dayne was a sort of mentor for Tim, which was a great situation for a lot of reasons.
Their conversation gave Bailey the chance to watch Tim from a distance. He was taller than back in his CKT days, and handsome in a polished sort of way. He loved God and he fit in well with Bailey’s friends and family. Why, then, she asked herself as she pulled three pie servers from a drawer and set them on a napkin, aren’t you head over heels for that guy?
She had no answers.
Tim finished talking with Dayne and crossed the room to the kitchen. He smiled when he saw her, but she wasn’t sure his eyes actually lit up. Not the way she would’ve liked. “Hey … Happy Thanksgiving.” He gave Bailey a quick hug as he studied the pies. “Looks like I got here just in time.”
They compared notes about the day and ate pie and played a new board game — Eye to Eye — and when the night was over sometime after ten o’clock, he hugged her again and they went their separate ways. The ride back was quiet, with Ricky and BJ nodding off before they had gone far. The trip gave Bailey time to review her evening with Tim. They’d had fun, for sure. They laughed and enjoyed being together. But if she was painfully honest with herself, something was missing. Something in the way Tim looked at her.
She remembered her mom’s words. “I saw how he looked at you … He adores you.”
Maybe that was it. Tim looked at her on a surface level. He smiled and seemed happy to see her. But when Cody looked at her, there were no layers left, nothing he didn’t reveal, nothing he couldn’t see. He didn’t really look at her so much as he looked into her. To the deepest, most real, places in her heart and soul.
Her mom seemed to sense she needed alone time, so she didn’t ask about Tim or how Bailey had felt seeing him. Good thing. Bailey didn’t have an answer for herself, let alone her mother. Not until she was changing out of her jeans did she remember her phone and the text message she’d never read. She pulled it from her pocket and clicked a few buttons.
I MISS YOU TOO.
She was drawn into those four simple words as if he was standing right here beside her. Again her breath caught. Tears stung her eyes, and she blinked them back. She wasn’t crying because she was sad. The tears were because maybe her mother was right. He must care more than he let on or he wouldn’t have sent this text a full hour after his last one. Maybe he’d analyzed his message about Tim and how Bailey hadn’t answered, and finally — after a very long time — he’d texted how he felt. How he really felt.
He missed her too.
As she finished getting ready for bed, her thoughts moved from the text message to her conversation with Ashley earlier that day. Love was complicated. That was true with Tim, and it was true with Cody — whatever sort of love she had for the two of them. Landon had been the difficult path for Ashley, and right now Cody was the difficult path for Bailey. So maybe Cody would be a bigger part of her life again someday. Or maybe they’d only be friends. Even that was more than they now shared.
She thought about Ashley’s advice: to pray about Cody and Tim, of course, but also to look for the answers. “That sort of love rarely happens twice.” Yes, that’s what Ashley had said.
Bailey climbed into bed and lay still on her pillow, the darkness around her. I’m looking, God. I want to hear You, but nothing seems very clear.
I am here, my daughter. All things work to the good for those who love me. Remember that.
The answer came quickly and easily, the way it rarely did. The response was part of a Bible verse from Romans chapter 8. Something she’d read yesterday morning before class. But still … it was sort of surreal to think God loved her enough to speak peace to her like that. That He loved her whether she heard His responses or not. He was here, with her, regardless.
She closed her eyes, wrapped in the Lord’s arms, loved and cared for. Only one thought from the day remained as she drifted to sleep, and it made her smile, lying there in the darkness.
Cody missed her.
One more thing to be thankful for.
Six
THE DEADLINE TO FINISH EDITING THEIR movie was a living, breathing being, hounding them through every day and crawling into bed with them at night. Even still, Chase and Keith took Thanksgiving off. Their families deserved that much. Chase had pushed for dinner at their house, since that way they could put the girls to bed after dessert. But now the meal was behind them, he wondered if he’d made the wrong choice. Maybe pulling off a big dinner had been too much for Kelly, or maybe she was still upset with his schedule. Whatever it was, Chase hadn’t been able to lighten her mood all day. It was late now, and they sat around the room with the Ellisons and their da
ughter, Andi, talking about the week ahead.
“You really think you’ll finish before the fifth?” Lisa sat next to Keith, but the question was directed to Chase. He was the director, the one with the skill in the editing room.
“We have to do color correction and sound mixing. The principles are scheduled to meet us at the studio early next week for voice touch-ups. And we’ve hired someone to work on color. The guy’s amazing.”
“Is there money for that?” Kelly’s question came out sharp, pointed. She sat across the room in a worn-out chair they’d gotten at a garage sale. One more sacrifice in the quest to make movies.
“We’re still working with money Ben invested at the close of filming.” Chase dug deep for an extra dose of understanding. He’d told her this before. “We can definitely get through the editing process.”
“But if there’s no theatrical release?” Kelly looked tired and anxious, the lines between her eyes deeper than usual. She didn’t have to spell out the dire financial consequences. Not with Andi in the room.
“No one’ll take you seriously if you go direct to DVD.” Andi sat on the other side of her father. She’d been a great help with Molly and Macy today, and now they were asleep she seemed glad to be part of the adult conversation.
Andi was right. If she hadn’t said it, Chase would have. The financial concerns were only part of the trouble they faced. They had to wrap up editing and submit to the film festivals Kendall had lined up. Then they needed to pray for a favorable response from the festival committees. If that happened, they’d have a good argument for a theatrical release when the studio screened the film. Not only so people would take them seriously, but so they would have a chance to earn back the money they’d spent.
“Luke Baxter is working on the studio contract, looking for a loophole. But he agrees that we need to pray. God’s the great Counselor, after all.”