He’d seen her sweaty after practice and sexed her up right there on the stairs just a few feet away from where she sat. It had been primo sexing up. Though, if she was honest, he brought the fucking thunder every single time. He was as good at making her come as he was at cutting hair.
Funny, she’d come to expect him to provide her with both things in a very short time.
Maybe let the music take her away again, putting all that on the back burner of her mind where hopefully she’d work through it while she wasn’t thinking too hard on it.
* * *
AFTER HER POSTPRACTICE SHOWER, Maybe wandered out of her room to find Rachel in the kitchen at the big table, her sketch pad and what appeared to be thirty-five different pens in front of her along with a big mug well out of the way of casual spillage.
“I heard the last few minutes of practice when I got home. Sounded good,” Rachel said without taking her attention from the paper she worked on.
“Thanks.” Maybe got herself a mug for her own cup of tea before assembling a quick dinner for the two of them, cracking eggs into a pan and watching them as they cooked.
“Dad showed up at the shop tonight,” Rachel said.
Maybe dropped thick slices of sourdough bread into the toaster before turning back to the stove. By then she’d locked her anger into place. “Two weeks to the day since Thanksgiving when you told them to back off for a few weeks. Well, he respected that request, which is something. What happened?”
“So careful. I’m sorry you had to always be so careful over the last few years.” Rachel sighed.
Maybe tipped the pan and hit the eggs with all that yummy butter. “I’m just trying not to assume the worst.” Which was also true. Just not the whole truth.
When the toast popped up, she buttered the slices, dropped an egg on two of them and brought the plates to the table, where Rachel had moved her things from so they could eat there.
“He came off like he was going to apologize. And to be fair he sort of did in that I’m-sorry-you-feel-that-way sense.”
Which Maybe thought of as a non-apology apology. But again, she held her tongue and let Rachel keep telling the story.
“He wanted to go to dinner, but I only agreed to give him a few minutes at the shop.”
Maybe was glad of that. Rachel’s coworkers were a group of total badass women artists and they protected one another fiercely, Cora among them. If he got out of line with Rachel or upset her in any way, none of them would hesitate to kick him out.
“Basically, he said he’s worried about me. Worried for my future. He and Mom just got overzealous. That’s what he said, not what I believe, by the way. Just in case you weren’t clear.” The sharpness in her tone told Maybe her sister meant business.
She smiled, reaching out to squeeze Rachel’s hand before uncapping the hot sauce.
“He asked me over for a weekend sometime. Or even just overnight. I asked if you were invited and he said yes, of course.” Rachel paused.
“But?”
“It’s amazing to me that you don’t just say what you think when it comes to them sometimes.”
“Not this again. You were telling me about what happened earlier with Dad.”
Rachel flipped her off as she poured hot sauce over her eggs with the other hand. “But he hesitated. And I just am sick of it. I told him that as your sister and as their other kid, I was so not down with the way they act toward you. Especially the way they treated you on Thanksgiving. I said no overnights. I would have even if he’d been enthusiastic about you staying. I have a house with my own bed already. He made some rumblings about this bed they bought me. How it was so cool and if I was going to be stubborn they could have it moved here. Please tell me what you’re thinking right now. No softening it.”
Maybe blew out a breath. “I think they bought a bed for someone with much more severe physical issues than you have. That concerns me because they focus on where you’ve been instead of where you are. And when you told them—more than once—that you had recovered far beyond needing something like that, they ignored you. They’re not listening to you and I’m sorry. They love you. In their own way they’re trying to protect you.”
“And what about how they treat you? Please be honest. I need you to trust me when I tell you that’s what I want.”
Maybe ate a few more bites before she answered. It was important to share, but also to edit. “They don’t like me. They sure don’t respect me or anything about my life. It’s unpleasant and I can say at this point it was far easier when the only contact I ever had with them was cards at the holidays.”
She’d cut them out of 98 percent of her life for a reason and it had been pretty peaceful that way.
“So. When we go over there, or you come with me to some dinner out with them somewhere, it’s for me, isn’t it? I mean, not even a tiny bit for you.”
Maybe thought as she chewed. “Well, at first, for a really long time I wanted it to be for me. I saw how they were with you and while it wasn’t perfect, they’re good to you usually. They’re proud of you and your life. It made me mad for a long time.” She focused on Rachel. “Not at you. But at them for not finding me enough. And for a time I believed them that I wasn’t. But, Aunt Robbie showed me what that love and pride felt like. And so now I go because I want you to have it. That pride and love I mean. Because it’s important. Important enough to deal with a few hours of shit Dad might fling my way. I don’t feel sorry for you. I just think it’s important for you to have that with them.”
Rachel sat back in her chair, taking it all in. “I do too. At least there are times I do. I know Robbie loves me, but you have a bond with her I just don’t. And I can’t, not really because what you shared with them is what you didn’t have with your own parents. I just wish they were...”
“As good to me as they were you?” Maybe shrugged. “It’s like you wishing you had what I did with Robbie. It’s not possible so there’s no reason for either of us to feel bad we have it where we do. It’s not about you that I don’t get along with Mom and Dad. You and I understand that and we’re good. I don’t begrudge you that closeness with them. I swear to you.”
Rachel wiped the back of her hand across her eyes. “I never thought you did. Let’s not let them get between us, okay? I know who you are. You know who I am. Know I won’t let you sacrifice yourself for me that way.”
Maybe nodded. “Deal. So tell me about the rest of the convo with him.”
“He asked me to move in to my room over there. Told me I needed the help and why was I being so stubborn. I said over and over that my physical recovery was ahead of all the doctors’ initial assumptions. That I wasn’t weak and how they had to stop thinking I was. Then things got a little unpleasant for a bit.”
Maybe knew what that meant. “When he accused me of taking advantage of you and leading you astray?”
Rachel groaned. “Like I said, he had some misconceptions. I corrected them.”
“Now who needs to be totally honest?” Maybe said.
Rachel gave the busted face. “He thought I was supporting you financially. I told him you paid your half of the mortgage on time every month and always had. I then explained for the dozenth time that I got the idea to try tattooing from my therapist after she saw my drawings and notebooks while I was in rehab. I pointed out Finley, my therapist’s older sister, who owned and ran Ink Sisters and who I’d apprenticed under. Anyway, it was all tiresome. And I don’t know if it made any difference with him. But I wanted you to know. He might try coming to you next. So if he does—when he does—tell him to suck it. Don’t let him abuse you. Not anymore. I get that you wanted me to have a relationship with them. And I appreciate it. But I can have that without you needing to be cut down and insulted.”
Maybe swallowed back her emotions and nodded. “Okay. We’ll see. But okay.”
CHAPTE
R FIFTEEN
MAYBE CARRIED A bunch of stuff up the back steps into Irena’s kitchen. The woman in question stood in the middle of the room and pointed, giving orders to people about what went where like an awesome little general.
“Love the new hair, Mrs. Orlova,” Maybe said as she began to unload the fruit and vegetables she’d brought in.
She touched it with a smile. “Thank you.”
The older woman had her hair done once every few weeks in what Maybe thought was a cool girls’ day out with her buddies who also got their hair done at the same time. Vic called them the babushkas, old ladies, but it wasn’t an insult. The older women seemed to have a pretty strong hand in the direction of the family and the community and they rarely got messed with.
Irena always seemed so hard but she loved certain self-care things. The closer Maybe got to her, the more she realized just how many layers Alexsei’s aunt had.
And then she’d felt even more special as Irena had made the room for Maybe in their family.
These people knew her worth. They judged her good enough to be there in the heart of their family life. That meant the world to her and also enabled her to remember she was more than her father made her out to be.
That acceptance from his family felt nearly as heady as being with Alexsei did.
Etta James’s version of “Stormy Weather” came from the other room. Speaking of layers. Pasha—what everyone called Alexsei’s uncle, Pavel—Orlov had them in spades. The man absolutely adored music from the ’40s through the ’70s.
Every time Maybe had been there for dinner or some sort of social event, music had played. Which, being a music lover herself, had ended up leaving her feeling more connected to them.
She liked them both a great deal and she really liked that they’d stepped in and had given Alexsei and his brother, Cristian, a family when they’d come to the United States in their teens.
“Rada’s here,” Rachel said in an undertone as she walked past Maybe.
Alexsei must have known she’d be there and he hadn’t even warned her? Ugh. They needed to talk about that sort of thing.
“It’s a good thing there’ll be drinking,” Maybe replied.
Rachel snickered and Vic looked up as if she’d said his name.
“Dude, come on. He’s so adorable. And he has such a crush on you,” Maybe told her sister quietly.
“He’s very adorable. I’m not unaware of that.”
“So what’s stopping you from giving him the look back so he knows he can make a move?”
“It’s not...” Rachel shook her head. “We’ll talk later.”
“You bet we will, sister.”
Alexsei strolled in, saw her and moved in her direction. “Evening to you, beautiful.” He brushed a kiss against her temple.
“Hey there.” He made her all warm and gooey inside.
He took her hand and tugged. “Come with me.”
“I’m helping your aunt.”
“You’re under my feet now. Go.” Irena waved them out of the room.
“She’s so dainty,” Maybe mumbled. Alexsei’s chuckle told her he’d overheard.
“Come have a drink and say hello. Pasha has been asking after you,” Alexsei told her.
“Oh. Well. Okay then.” It was on the tip of her tongue to comment on Rada but she swallowed it back. She was part of the family and Maybe knew the Orlovs took that very seriously.
Maybe didn’t have to like Rada. But she had to make some kind of peace with her presence if she was going to be with Alexsei for anything more than a few dates. And they were beyond that.
When Pasha saw her, he said her name in his big booming voice and ordered her to give him a hug. Maybe knew she blushed, but he was such a great flirt with absolutely nothing gross or weird about it.
He took her hands as Marvin Gaye’s “Got to Give It Up” started. “Come dance with me!”
Pasha spun her out and then pulled her back to him again. “Your hair color is festive. I like it.”
Maybe laughed. “Thank you. I like it too.” It did feel festive and it certainly perked her up, so it didn’t occur to her to be anything but pleased with a compliment.
* * *
ALEXSEI TOOK THE beer from his brother as they both watched their uncle dance with Maybe. She seemed to spill out a bright light, a vibrance of spirit that fit in with his family so well.
Rada hung out at the edges of the gathering and for a time Alexsei felt bad. This, in a way, was her family too. She had one of her own. One bigger than Alexsei’s with five siblings, cousins, grandchildren, spouses, all that. But she’d been in and out of the Orlovs’ house since she and Evie had been little girls. This was her place too. She just needed to back up and let it be Maybe’s now as well. That seemed far more simple than it’d been. She didn’t want him back but she still fucked with Maybe and agitated things.
“So this is the real deal, eh?” his brother said, tipping his chin toward where his uncle laughed and danced with Maybe.
Alexsei paused and then nodded. “Yes.”
“And it’s not weird for you to think that with your ex standing a few feet away?”
“Are you shit stirring again, Cris?”
“You make it so easy, Alexsei, how can I resist?”
Little brothers were a pain in the ass. Alexsei elbowed Cris in the ribs, satisfied with the oof he got in response.
“Vic already owns that job in the family. We’ve got enough now. This has nothing to do with my ex. Maybe’s a strong woman. Aware of her appeal to me.”
“How is she handling Rada being around so much?”
“Rada makes it hard.” Alexsei snorted. Maybe had nothing to worry over, as he’d told her.
Rada hadn’t ever really challenged him. She’d let him have his way in most things as long as he went along with her social calendar. At one time he thought that was the way to go. Figured a relationship was about regular sex, companionship and going along with someone you could have kids with.
But now? Now he had a woman who challenged him daily. Infuriatingly independent. Flighty at times. Silly. Stubborn.
His equal.
A woman who told him to back off when he pushed too hard. It was so mind-numbingly sexy. The spine of his woman was truly magnificent and had spoiled him forever.
He craved one flavor and only she had it.
“I think Rada is worried Maybe will replace her,” Cris said.
“She and I have been broken up quite a while now and she’s still around. Even since Maybe and I started dating she’s been around.”
“Yes. More than usual,” Cris emphasized. “And every time Maybe is here, Rada picks a fight. She’s not normally mean, though she can be petty. Perhaps you should talk to Rada. Assure her you aren’t trying to replace her.” Cris shrugged.
Alexsei made a noncommittal sound, but he’d think on it.
“Eat!” Irishka bellowed from the kitchen to be heard over the music.
His uncle bowed to Maybe, linked her hand through the crook of his elbow and walked with her over to the massive table. All the leaves were in it so the long gleaming surface seemed totally covered in food for miles.
It was Seth’s birthday. Cristian’s partner had just hit thirty and had been feeling a bit down. Naturally, their aunt knew that could be made better by tons of food and alcohol.
Given the smile Seth wore as he caught sight of the ham and a huge bowl of meatballs, it worked.
“He called Mom a few days ago and now they’re best friends.” Cristian’s relief was clear on his face, despite his sarcasm.
“She was in a mood this week. She called me too. To lecture me about not telling her I was with Maybe.”
Both brothers looked over at their aunt, who clucked at everyone in between barked orders. Irena might have told their mother to
lord it over her sister that she knew more about her kids than she did. But really, Alexsei felt it was to nudge her, remind her she was still their mother and they needed her.
“She’s coming over for the wedding. I said we’d make sure it was during a school break so the girls can come with her. She’s trying. I really think she is.”
Cristian’s eyes pleaded for Alexsei to believe the same of their mother. So he did if for no other reason than his brother needing it. Grudgingly, he admitted way back in his mind that he might have needed it a little too.
“She told me she and the girls would come this spring. Asked to meet Maybe on the phone in the meantime,” Alexsei told his brother.
He scanned places at the table and grabbed two open chairs, but by the time he managed to find Maybe in the crowd of nearly twenty people in the room, Rada managed to plop down next to him.
“That’s Maybe’s seat,” he told her.
“She’s busy with your uncle. Anyway, so what? It’s dinner. She can’t be five feet from you? Or is it me she’s worried about?”
The smile on Rada’s face made him very tired.
“Stop this,” he told her. “You and I both know she’s got nothing to worry about. Now shoo.” He made a motion with his hand.
She sniffed as she stood but when Maybe looked over, Rada made sure she bent to kiss the top of his head.
Maybe’s eyes narrowed for a moment as she took that in and he only barely managed to stop a sigh. That would be dangerous. Her ire wasn’t really comparable to Rada’s pretty little pouts. No, it was burning things to the ground and salting the earth after.
He held a hand out and indicated the empty chair.
She made her way over, ignoring Rada’s attempts to catch her eye, and when she sat, he pulled her close a moment.
“Why are you so grumpy, zajka?”
“You know why so don’t play,” she grumbled.
Alexsei watched as she made certain her sister was all right before turning her attention back to him.