IX.
Throughout this narration Doctor Louis was impressed by the suspicionthat something was hidden from him. He pressed Emilius upon the point,and his suspicion was strengthened by the evasive replies he received.
"Enough, for the present, of myself," said Emilius; "let me hearsomething of the outside world--of the world that is dead to me."
"What do you wish to know?" asked Doctor Louis sadly.
"Of yourselves," replied Emilius. "Of your good wife, whom I used tolook upon as a second mother. She is well?"
"She is well," said Doctor Louis, "but in deep unhappiness because ofthese terrible events."
"How does she regard me--as innocent or guilty?"
"She has the firmest belief in your innocence. When I told her I wasabout to visit you, she desired me to give you her love and sympathy."
"It is like her. And Lauretta?"
"I did not inform her that I was coming. She is in great distress. Youand Eric were as brothers to her."
"And now," said Emilius, with a certain recklessness of manner whichpuzzled Doctor Louis, "one is dead and the other disgraced. But shewill live through it. She has a happy future before her?"
He put this somewhat in the form of a question, to which Doctor Louisreplied without hesitation: "We have the best of reasons for hopingso. But our conversation, Emilius, appears to have taken a heartlessturn. Let us rather consider the chances of establishing yourinnocence and setting you free."
"No, let us continue to speak of your family. There may not be anotheropportunity--who knows? My judges may take it into their heads to keepme in solitary confinement, and to deprive me entirely of the solaceof friendly intercourse, until they have got rid of me altogether. Thechances of establishing my innocence are scarcely worth considering;they are so slender. Slender! They are not even that. I see noloophole, nor do you. What is wanted is fact--hard, solid fact, suchas an actual witness, or a frank confession from the murderer.Everything tangible and intangible is against me. Eric and I wererivals in a woman's love; we had a meeting, in which we reconciled ourdifferences, and in which the horror of brotherly hatred was scotchedclean dead. Who were present at this meeting? My dear brother, who isgone and cannot testify; and I, whose interest it is to say whatevermy tongue can utter in my defence. To prove my innocence I can bringforward--what? Shadows. I could forgive my judges for laughing at mewere I to set up such a defence. Easier to believe that I killed mybrother in a dream. Could that be proved, there would be some hope forme, for it might be argued that I was not accountable. Let us dismissit. I have told you all I know positively; for the rest, I am strongenough to keep it to myself, being aware of the manner in which itwould be received."
"Surely you are not wearied of life!" said Doctor Louis, shocked atthis reckless mood.
"That is not to the point. Wearied or not, it is not in my power tochoose. Were I free, were my fate in my own hands, it would be worthmy while to consider how to act in order that the crime might be fixedupon the guilty one. And hearken, Doctor, I am not swayed by impulse;there is something of inward direction which holds me up. I hearvoices, I see visions--not to be heard or seen or taken into accountin a court of justice; of value only in a prison. They assure me that,though I may suffer and be disgraced, I shall not die until myinnocence is proved."
"Heaven grant it!" exclaimed Doctor Louis.
"Meanwhile, I wait and take the strokes which fate deals out to me. Acrushed manhood, a ruined life, a blasted happiness! And there is ahappy future, you say, before Lauretta? You have every confidence inMr. Carew? Lauretta loves him?"
"With her whole heart."
"And you and your good wife approve--are content to intrust herhappiness into his keeping?"
"We are content--we approve."
"May all be as you hope! Say nothing to them of me. The best mercythat can be accorded to me is the mercy of forgetfulness. I have afavour to beg of you."
"It is granted."
"You will be kind to my wife; you will not desert her--you will, ifnecessary, protect her from her father, who, I fear, will neverforgive her?"
"I will do all that lies in my power to further your wishes--though Istill hope for a favourable turn in your affairs."
"Your hope is vain," said Emilius. "I thank you for your promise."