"'I always wondered what became of you,' said Tanya. 'How you were. My mother used to ask your mother, and sometimes my mother would tell me what yours said. I knew you'd gone on to college and then become a teacher. I work in a company that makes computers,' she said. 'I get to test them at the final stage, before the customer gets them. It's hell on my eyes, but the company's gotten so many complaints from workers like me I hope they'll soon do something about it; make screens or something to put in front of the computers, or design special eyewear.'

  "I was so sick of my own work I couldn't bring myself to speak of it. I told her bluntly that I was in therapy, trying to get to the roots of my anger against white people. I didn't tell her it was particularly against whites who were blond. I guess I was afraid she'd say, like so many people do: Well, everybody hates Nazis. That's what they think I mean. They think of Hitler's Aryan race as played by bleached-blond actors on TV. That image is, I know, only a small part of it.

  "'You've got every right to be angry at white people,' she said. 'I'm angry at them myself. I never knew just how angry until I saw what they did to my children. Not to mention what they'd already done to Joe.'

  "'Joe,' I said. 'Your parents must have had a fit.'

  "'A conniption fit,' she said. 'But it was too late for them to do anything about it by the time they found out. After about five years, after I'd married Joe and moved to California and had the kids and seemed to be doing okay, my daddy just up and died, he was so frustrated. After he died, Momma came around. She loved the kids and was eventually able to be cordial to Joe. Then Joe left, and I got a divorce. And then I had to tell her I was queer.'

  "Tanya paused. 'She's still out on that one.'

  "'But how did all this happen?' I asked. 'You were programed to be Miss Lily White.'