But the flip side of that was that perhaps she was reading way too much into an overheard snippet of conversation and as a result she was overreacting and being a cynical bitch.
She sucked in a deep breath and squared her shoulders—as much as she could lying sprawled across the bed, her chin dug into one of the plump pillows.
Enough was enough. She was not going to spend the day moping, nor would she allow this incident to make her second-guess every single aspect of her time here.
She’d simply ask Xander what he’d meant. She’d tell him what she’d heard and go from there. It was a simple enough solution, and it was what she should have done from the onset rather than spend an hour sulking in the bedroom.
Feeling marginally better about having a plan of action, she pushed upward from the pillow, shoved her hair that had fallen forward from her face and started to roll to her side so she could get up.
She froze when she saw Xander standing in the doorway of the bedroom, a grim expression on his face.
There was something off in his demeanor. Something that sent a curl of dread through her stomach and into her chest. Her optimism of just moments before evaporated, and her anxiety level shot through the roof.
“Nico said you were feeling unwell,” he said, still not moving from his post at the door.
That wasn’t like Xander. He rarely kept his distance from her. If they were in the same room, he was always touching her, or next to her. Often holding her or simply sitting beside her.
But he stood coolly aloof, surveying her with concern in his eyes and yet maintaining the distance between them.
“I’m all right now,” she said softly, a lie. “I woke with a headache, but it’s much better now.”
He stood a long moment in silence. With each passing second her dread mounted because this was so unlike Xander. Something was wrong. Terribly wrong and this time she wasn’t going to scold herself for being paranoid.
“I’m releasing you from the contract you signed,” he said in a quiet tone.
Her heart bottomed out and she stared at him, sure she hadn’t heard correctly. A million questions buzzed through her mind but the only thing she could croak out was, “Why?”
“Things have changed. I must return to Cristofino. I’ve already made arrangements for you to be transported back to Paris—and your mother. I’ve let her know you’ll be returning. She’s looking forward to seeing you.”
She pushed herself into a sitting position, stunned. So horribly stunned that she couldn’t even manage a coherent thought, much less respond to the bombshell he’d just dumped on her.
She wanted to scream at him. She wanted to ask him what had changed. She wanted to ask him if it had all been a lie, but she didn’t want to open herself to that kind of humiliation. She was humiliated enough.
She had pride. She may have foregone it to have ever entered into this devil’s bargain, but it didn’t mean she had none left. There was no way she was going to beg. She already felt like dying and she wasn’t going to add to her misery by making an embarrassing scene.
It took everything she possessed to pull herself together and not to lose it right there in front of him. She’d never felt so used and degraded in her life. But he didn’t have to know that. By God, she’d leave here with her head held high and he’d never, never know that he’d made her feel so worthless. She’d never give him that satisfaction.
“When do you want me to leave,” she said calmly.
“The plane will arrive for you this afternoon.”
She couldn’t control the flinch no matter how much she didn’t want him to see her pain. It would seem he couldn’t wait to get her out of his life.
Temporary diversion. Plaything. Whore.
It would appear that all of those things were indeed true.
He was now poised to resume his life and she was supposed to resume hers. As if none of this had happened. As if she hadn’t had her life completely changed by the months she’d spent here.
She slid from the bed, afraid her legs wouldn’t hold her up. She put one hand down onto the mattress so she didn’t go down as she faced him with what little pride she had in reserve.
“Will I be able to say good-bye to Garon, Sebastien and Nico?”
She tried to keep her questions and responses to the bare minimum of words because the last thing she wanted was to break down in front of him. He could be a cold bastard. Well, so could she.
He looked away for a moment. “I think it would be best if you just went. It will be easier that way.”
Anger flashed, heating her veins. Heat crept up her neck and into her cheeks. “Easier for who, Xander? You? Them? Are you saying they have no wish to say good-bye? Are you all that eager to have me gone?”
For a moment, just a flash, she saw what looked like pain flicker in his eyes but it was gone before she could even imagine that’s what it was.
“I’ll send Wickersham for you when the car arrives to take you to the airport,” he said just before he turned and walked quietly away.
Chapter 23
Talia didn’t wait for the summons from Xander. She no longer had any desire to say good-bye. She packed the small bag she’d brought with her and left everything that Xander had provided for her behind.
None of it was hers, and she wanted no reminders of her shame. All she would leave with was her purse, her identification and the small amount of cash she’d arrived with three months before. She’d need the taxi fare once she reached Paris.
The gifts, the jewelry, the clothes, the underwear, she left it all on the bed and hanging in the closet. And she walked down the stairs in a worn pair of jeans and a T-shirt, the only two things in her entire wardrobe here that belonged to her.
Wickersham met her at the bottom of the stairs and informed her that the car had arrived. He would have walked her out but she waved him away. She needed no assistance in leaving. She’d get into that damn car herself and she’d never look back.
She was numb as they drove away. So cold that even the heat of the midday sun couldn’t penetrate the icy shell that encased her. She mechanically went through the motions of getting out of the car that bore her to the airstrip.
She barely remembered boarding the small jet or buckling herself into the seat. She closed the window shades, not wanting even a glimpse back at the island she was leaving. Nor did she want to think of what she was leaving behind.
Her heart. Her soul.
And she felt so incredibly stupid for allowing it to happen. For making herself so vulnerable and for believing in a fantasy. It was a hard lesson to learn but one she’d never forget.
She wanted to crawl into a hole somewhere and die, but she would never allow her mother to know of her heartbreak.
She dozed off and on during the flight to Paris, but mostly she stared at the closed window, reliving each and every moment of her time on the island.
Over and over she analyzed every word that had been said to her. Every touch. Every caress. Every thoughtful thing that had been done for her. The attention they lavished on her and how they’d spoiled her endlessly.
And the more she thought about it, the more befuddled she grew because it simply didn’t add up. Her brain hurt from trying to make sense of it.
By the time she landed, she was a walking zombie. She knew she looked terrible and as much as she wanted to go straight to the assisted-living community where her mother currently resided, she didn’t want her mother to see her this way.
Instead she directed the taxi to her small apartment in the Rive Gauche and when she stumbled inside the dark apartment that had been vacant for the last three months, only then did she allow the first tear to fall.
Chapter 24
Talia sat with her mother in the small living room of her mother’s apartment that overlooked the gardens of the assisted-living facility. They were enjoying an afternoon cup of tea, a routine that her mom always adhered to and one Talia found great comfort in.
&n
bsp; The fact that her mother was still alive to have tea with made her chest ache because she couldn’t imagine the alternative. And it was a point she reminded herself of on a daily basis.
No matter what Xander had done, he’d saved her mother. In the end, no matter how heartbroken she was, how humiliated she’d been or the things that she’d done, none of it mattered in the face of her mom receiving lifesaving treatment.
“I’m so glad to have you home,” Rose Montforte said, smiling over her cup of tea at Talia.
Talia smiled back, delighted to be able to genuinely smile. In the two weeks she’d been home, everything had felt so forced even though the joy she felt over seeing her mother again was certainly real.
“I feel as though you’ve changed so much, and I can’t put my finger on how,” she added with a slight frown.
Talia raised one eyebrow. “I was only gone for three months, Mama. How much could I have changed?”
She nearly choked on the question because the answer was pretty simple. She’d changed a lot. Maybe she’d grown up even. Or maybe she’d lost some of that youthful enchantment that came from feeling like you were untouchable. Perhaps everyone had to go through that at some point before they grew older and more jaded.
Rose tsked as she took another sip. “I don’t know, but I see it.”
Then her eyes widened and she hastily grabbed for the television remote and started clicking madly. The volume rose and Talia swiveled in her seat to look behind her to see what had grabbed her mother’s attention so rapidly.
“Oh look, darling. There’s Xander! Cristofino has been making the news so often lately. It looks as though things are going to work out. Why only a few days ago, the prince’s mother and sister returned from Australia where they’ve been residing since the king’s assassination. Such a sad state of affairs. It’s high time we’ve gotten good news about our home. It makes me so homesick. Perhaps if things settle there, we can think about returning soon, yes?”
But Talia was riveted to the television and barely heard her mother’s chattering behind her. She only had eyes for her dark-eyed prince, who suddenly seemed so much larger than life on the TV screen. So untouchable. Beyond her reach. Someone a girl like her should have never imagined being able to have.
The announcer’s words hit her with the force of a car crash. She went numb from head to toe as she stared dumbly at the screen, listening as the reporter droned on about how it was expected that the coronation ceremony for Alexander would be forthcoming in a few days.
She had refused to watch anything pertaining to Cristofino since her return from the island. She loved her homeland and felt a deep devotion to it. It was of grave concern that so much turmoil had been visited on her home soil. But if the television was on and Cristofino was so much as hinted about, she rapidly shut it off or changed the channel because she couldn’t bear to know what was going on with Xander.
She listened to the momentous announcement that the royal family would be restored, that Xander would be crowned king and assume the duties of the reigning monarch, just as his father before him had.
There was much celebration. The people of Cristofino gathered in the capital to dance in the streets. The royals had been welcomed home with jubilation and the insurgents had finally relinquished their military hold. Their reign of terror and intimidation was at its end.
Cristofino was free.
She should be as jubilant as her people were, but she felt dead on the inside.
All the words he’d whispered while making love to her. Worthless. All the times he’d told her he had no intention of letting her go. The attachments he’d allowed her to form with his men. And worse, she’d thought her feelings had been reciprocated.
A part of her understood. He’d made the right decision. How could he turn his back on his entire country for her? Just a girl. An ordinary girl. No one special. Certainly no one of nobility.
Xander would marry someone of his own ilk. Perhaps a princess of a neighboring country. There had been talk before the rebellion of an alliance with St. Francio and a marriage between Xander and Princess Charlotte. Perhaps now, with Xander as king, those talks would resume.
What a fool she’d been. She’d never felt so gullible and stupid in her life, and she made a vow right then and there as she watched Xander address the people of Cristofino that she’d never allow anyone to make her feel this way again.
“Talia, are you all right, darling?”
Her mother’s worried voice broke through some of the utter numbness that had settled over her. She turned, taking in her mom’s expression of concern.
“I’m fine,” she said calmly. Then she leaned forward, inching her way to the edge of her chair so she could reach over to grasp her mother’s hands. “Let’s go away, Mama. Wouldn’t that be so much fun?”
Rose looked startled and then she set the cup down and grasped Talia’s hand with both hers. “Go away? Where?”
“On holiday. Just you and me. We should celebrate. You’re feeling so much better. The doctors have said that you’re fully in remission. Your markers have looked good for the last year. And yet here we sit in this care facility when we could be out seeing the world.”
A flicker of excitement lit up her mother’s eyes. She grasped Talia’s hand just a little tighter. “You think so? Oh, that does sound like a lovely idea. But could we really do it? It all sounds so intimidating.”
Talia smiled. “I think it would be great fun. I’ve always thought it would be nice to visit Italy and Spain. We’ve been in France for four years now, and we’ve never even set foot out of the country and so much is right here and so close. A mere train ride away.”
For a moment her mom stared at her with a complete look of befuddlement. Then more excitement danced in her eyes and she lifted Talia’s hand, all but shaking it in her grasp.
“Let’s do it. Oh, Talia, it would be such fun and I know how much you’ve wanted to travel. I’ve always felt so guilty because I know if it weren’t for me, you would have already been out exploring the world.”
Talia leaned forward, pulled her mom into her arms and hugged her fiercely. “Never say that, Mama. I wouldn’t change a single thing. You’re more important to me than anything else in the world. I would have done anything to keep you here with me for many years to come. And just think, now we can see the world together.”
For a long moment, Talia held on tightly to her mom. She was so grateful to have her. Even though her mother had no idea what had transpired on the island or of Talia’s current heartbreak, just being here with her mom and knowing she was going to be all right held Talia together.
She would make it. She would be all right. The Montforte women were a resilient bunch. Her mother was living proof. If her mom could kick cancer’s ass and walk away the victor, then Talia could certainly survive a broken heart.
Chapter 25
“What the hell do you mean, you don’t know where she is?” Xander demanded.
He stared at Garon, Sebastien and Nico, his pulse about to beat right out of his temples.
“She’s gone,” Garon said. “The utilities have been disconnected in her apartment, though when I had the manager let me in since it’s in your name, it didn’t appear as though she’s moved out. Most noticeably, however, is that when I went to the facility where her mother has an apartment, I was told that Rose Montforte no longer resides there and that she has moved permanently. No forwarding address or information was given.”
Xander swore. “Goddamn it, I sent you to bring her back. Here. To me. This is unacceptable. She’s nowhere in Paris?”
Sebastien shook his head. “Not that we can find.”
“What did you expect, Xander?” Nico asked, his lips twisted into a snarl. “You completely botched this entire thing. There are at least a hundred other ways you could have handled the situation and yet you let her walk away believing that we cared nothing about her.”
“You shut the fuck up,” Xander seethed.
“I could not, would not, expose her to any danger. I couldn’t bring her here. I didn’t want her to remain on the island any longer, not when I was going to be thrust into the world spotlight again. Those bastards murdered my father. They would absolutely have used her against me. They could not know anything of her existence. It was the only way.”
Nico bit out a curse and turned away, his posture stiff and unyielding. His anger and censure was no less than Garon’s and Sebastien’s. The last two months had been ones he never wanted to repeat. Talia weighed heavily on all their minds. And now she was gone.
“You find her,” Xander said through clenched teeth. “I don’t care how long it takes, how much it costs, you find her and you bring her home.”
Talia finished sugaring her cup of hot tea and cupped it in both hands as she stared over the stunning view of the Italian coast. The water was so dark blue that it resembled a painting. The quaintness of the small cottage she and her mother were renting brought her comfort. It made her feel cozy and secure and after two months, she realized that she was finally feeling some measure of peace.
The nights were hard for her. Often she lay awake, remembering how it had been in Xander’s arms. How it had been when all four men took turns pleasuring her. Even with her mother’s warm companionship, Talia had never felt quite so alone.
She was glad now that she had saved and had spent sparingly the allowance that Xander had provided her while she was attending university. It allowed for her and her mother to travel extensively before Talia would have to decide where to settle and find a job. She knew now that she would never return to Cristofino.
And she had absolute zero guilt in using the money received from Xander to pay her and her mother’s travel expenses. It was the very least he could do for how much he’d made her suffer.
A knock sounded on the door and she turned with a frown. Her mom had gone down to the market, insisting that she could go alone. Talia had worried about her being able to carry her purchases back by herself, but Rose had laughed and waved off Talia’s concern.