* * * *
Kelly poured a line of shots for his brothers, including Bray who was home from Pittsburg. “Will you take off that fucking tie,” he said as he passed Bray a shot.
His brother tugged at the knot. “I’m so used to wearing it I forget it’s on.”
Finn laughed. “You’re the only man in Center County with a fancier wardrobe than all the women put together.”
Bray gave them the finger as they tossed back their shots. Kelly left to check on the other customers. It wasn’t until two a.m. that he and his brothers actually got to sit together and relax.
“Is Ashlynn busy farming again?” Bray asked.
Kelly stretched. “Yup. She’s up at the butt crack of dawn and doesn’t stop until supper time.”
“You guys doing better, now that your schedules are a little more synched?”
Kelly shrugged. “We were never really doing bad. Marriage is an up and down ride. We manage.”
Luke nudged him. “Maybe you should be riding that coaster a little more. That way you could give us some more McCulloughs.”
Kelly smiled, but Luke’s comment grated on him. Why wasn’t Ashlynn pregnant yet? He’d asked himself the same question every day.
Every month when her cycle started, he overheard her quiet cries. Listening to her softly sniffle in the bathroom where she assumed he was unaware, made him want to hit something. Nothing compared to the way her disappointment tortured him and, above all else, he wanted to give her this.
Why couldn’t she conceive? Maybe her doctor was wrong. Maybe there was a problem.
Or maybe it’s you.
The thought dwelled in his head for the past several weeks and he couldn’t shake it. There was no way the problem was on his end. Trojan should be paying him for all the business he gave them over the years. A man doesn’t tithe his income on condoms for no reason. He was sure he had hardy little swimmers.
Maybe you drank too much.
He grimaced inwardly, but kept a smile firmly on his lips. Luke stood. “I’m taking off.”
Tristan fished his keys out of his pocket. “I’m out too. Long day tomorrow.”
Finn kicked the last of his beer. “I think I’m gonna head out too.” He grabbed the brown bag of sweet potato fries, part of his wife’s conditions for letting him go out while she was at home with the twins and her pregnant self.
Bray sat contently, seeming in no rush to go. Luke turned to him. “You want a ride, bro?”
“Nah, I’m gonna hang out with Kelly a while longer.” They said goodbye. And Kelly brought over two more beers.
“It’s weird with Colin not here. I guess he would’ve been elsewhere anyway, but since he’s not at the Vatican I sort of expected him to come out with us,” Bray said.
Kelly sighed and leaned back. “Sammy’s parents are visiting. They don’t get to see Lula and Liam all the time like the rest of us.”
Bray sipped his beer. “So, what’s going on with you? I can see something’s on your mind.”
His brows lifted. “Nothing. I’m good.”
“Don’t bullshit me, Kelly. I know something’s up.”
Tipping his head back he let out a deep groan and leveled his brother with his gaze. “Ashlynn and I have been trying to have a baby.”
“Mazeltov!” Bray clanked his beer with his.
“It hasn’t been going so well.”
“You guys aren’t sleeping together?”
“No, it’s not that. The sex is off the charts. We don’t know what the problem is.”
“Well, give it time. How long have you been trying?”
“Since our wedding night.”
“Oh.” His brother looked away for a minute. “Damn. Is the problem on her end or yours?”
“Her doctor says she’s fine.”
“And what does your doc say?”
“I don’t have a doctor.”
Braydon frowned at him. “Well, if you want kids maybe you should think about getting one.”
“Come on, man. There can’t be an issue with my luggage. Look at our lineage. McCulloughs outnumber the town’s population three to one.”
Braydon shrugged. “Nothing’s perfect. Why don’t you go to the doctor and get yourself some reassurance.”
“I’m not fucking a cup.”
Bray snorted. “You don’t fuck it, moron. You jerk off and give them a sample. They give you results and it’s done. Imagine what girls have to suffer. We got it easy.”
Kelly eyed his brother critically. Braydon had grown up. It was more than just his clothes. There was a new maturity about him since he’d landed a job with the architecture firm.
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I usually am.”
“Cocky bastard. So how’s the burg? You killing it over there with the lassies?” When his brother’s expression tightened with a smirk Kelly laughed. “Spill.”
“It’s nothing. Totally not serious and it’s never going to go anywhere. She’s… different.”
“Different like…special or different like she has a very small but real penis?”
Bray tossed a cold fry at him. “No, arse. She’s older.”
“Reeeeeally? Got yourself a cougar? What are you, like, her pool boy?”
“It’s not like that.”
“Then tell me what it’s like, the McCullough golden son getting his jollies off with Mrs. Robinson.”
He chuckled. “Ironically, her last name is Robinson.”
“Shut up!”
“Dead serious.”
“So what’s she do? What’s she like?”
Bray sipped his beer with a smirk. “She’s my boss.”
“What? Is that how you landed the job?”
“No! I didn’t meet her until after I was hired. She’s no joke, doesn’t take any shit, and knows exactly what she wants and can’t be bothered with less.”
Kelly broke into rolling laughter. “You have a mistress!”
“She’s not married.”
Getting his laughter under control, he grinned at Bray. “Not that kind of mistress, man. I mean, like, you’re her bitch.”
Bray scowled. “No, I’m not. It isn’t like that. We both know what the other needs and we manage to provide it, no strings attached.”
“How old is she?”
“Thirty-nine.”
“Holy shit! She’s twelve years older than you.”
“Well, she doesn’t look it. Miranda’s beautiful.”
Kelly spent the next hour learning all about Miranda Robinson and suspected Braydon was being strung along whether he realized it or not. When he got home it was late. He’d barely fallen asleep when Ashlynn started to stir.
She turned and sighed as she cozied up to his flank. He was awake, but for some reason he pretended he was asleep. After a few attempts to wake him sweetly, she gave up and got out of bed.
He wasn’t sure why he faked sleep, but he did it again that following night and for the rest of the week. By Thursday Ashlynn had obviously had enough.
“Kelly, I know you’re awake,” she said as he pressed his eyes closed.
Giving up on the stupid charade, he glanced at her. “Good morning, love.”
She was standing by the bed, hair wet, and completely naked. Damn she looked good.
Her lips pursed. “Are you mad at me?”
He frowned. “What? Of course not.”
Her little rosebud mouth tightened some more. She reached for her glasses and slipped them on then went to the dresser and pulled out panties. “Then why haven’t we…”
…fucked? “Why haven’t we what, love?”
She waved her hand in a circular motion. “You know…made love.”
“We make love all the time.”
“Tomorrow it will be a full week. We haven’t gone that long since before we were married.”
Yeah, and it was killing him. He sat up and gave her a smoldering smile. “Aw, is my wife horny?”
She fit her arms t
hrough the straps of her bra and rolled her eyes. “I hate that word.”
As she shoved her legs into her overalls he grabbed the strap and tugged her to the bed. She fell onto the covers with a very stern yet playful expression. “Does my wife need some extra attention this morning?”
“Kelly, I have to get to work.”
He silenced her with a kiss and she yielded. “Mmm…you smell nice.”
His body moved over hers and he slowly peeled away the clothes she’d managed to put on. Carefully, he climbed down the bed and lowered her panties. His mouth found her sweet little clit and teased until she was stretching languidly beneath him and sighing softly.
He brought her to climax three times and when he was finished, her hair was a tumbled mess and her jaw was slack with contentment. He climbed back to the pillows and collapsed beside her.
“Feel better now?”
“Yes,” she sighed. “But now I have no energy to work.”
He chuckled.
They lay in bed for several minutes and eventually Ashlynn dragged herself to the gardens and he fell asleep with bluer balls than a smurf.
Three weeks passed much the same way. It was May and Ashlynn was busy, which was a blessing. Kelly on the other hand was horny, paranoid, and fucking miserable.
Pure male pride prevented him from calling the doctor and setting up an appointment, but beyond that was fear. Never had he imagined something so finite could be the end all be all of disappointing his wife. He simply couldn’t accept it.
A man was his dick, plain and simple. Throughout their entire relationship he’d feared not being the man she deserved, but this… this was no fucking joke. He wasn’t even man enough to face the possibility of the issues haunting him. Being sterile was not an acceptable outcome and his denial was driving an even bigger wedge between them.
He’d developed a habit of long showers with Jill. Who was Jill? Jill was what his five fingers spelled every morning when he held up his hand. J.I.L.L.
Jill was his date, his companion, his keeper of secrets, the holder of his shame. And every morning as he distracted his wife and made her cry out in pleasure with his mouth, fingers, or his hand, he stumbled his unsatisfied self into the shower and jerked off with Jill. Pathetic.
While he and Jill palled around every morning after Ashlynn went to work, he worried that he might develop carpel tunnel. A man could only give so many orgasms manually.
Still, Kelly prided himself on creativity. Ashlynn was well satisfied and didn’t seem to notice they hadn’t had actual sex in over a month. Occasionally she gave him a blowjob, which was phenomenal, but for the most part he made it about her. He could handle himself.
Smart phones were a blessing to the perverted world. Without leaving his bed he could pull up some nice, sloppy, good old porn and have himself a date with Jill right there in his bed. Sure, it wasn’t as good as fucking his beautiful wife, but with Jill there was no expectation, no disappointment, no need for anything more than a tissue.
He was having an affair with his hand. He was fucking pitiful.
By June, he could barely meet Ashlynn’s eyes. She suspected something was up. He saw it in the way her brow creased as she watched him avoid close contact whenever they passed in the house like ships in the night. That glint of yearning in her whiskey brown eyes filled him with incredible guilt every time he gently rebuffed her advances. He was suffocating from the pressure, and unfortunately, he’d done that to himself.
Something had to give. They couldn’t go on like this forever. But every time he was tempted to make love to his wife he remembered the sound of her crying in the bathroom each month when her period arrived and understood he’d failed her again.
* * * *
“Can I ask you something?”
Mallory looked up from the store catalogue she was perusing as they took a break from shopping at the Baby Depot. It worked out well that the store had a line up of gliders pregnant moms could rest on when their feet got tired.
“Sure,” Mallory said, fishing an apple out of her purse and resting the catalogue on her protruding belly. She was due any day now.
Ashlynn fidgeted and plucked at the price tag of the rocker. “Did you and Finn have to do anything special for you to get pregnant?”
Mallory smirked. “He had to get me naked first. That was pretty special.”
Ashlynn smiled. Mallory was a beautiful woman, but she wasn’t petite, especially now that she was pregnant. When she first moved to Center County she was a lot heavier than she was now, not counting the child in her belly, but she was always beautiful. Even after losing some weight and reaching a place she was satisfied, she was still a woman with curves.
“But…did it take time?”
Mallory laughed. “I was pregnant before we had time to work on it. Sammy was the same way. Why? You and Kelly thinking about having a baby?”
Ashlynn sighed. “I don’t think there was a time we haven’t thought about it.”
“So what’s holding you up? You guys would have such adorable babies.”
“Well…” She could do this. Mallory and Samantha were her only friends that weren’t related by blood to Kelly. They could discuss sex. “Everything’s good on my end…”
Mallory frowned and then her brows shot up. “You mean…Kelly?”
Ashlynn shrugged. “I don’t know. He won’t see a doctor and lately…well, I’m not sure if there even is a problem. We sort of stopped…doing it.”
Mallory laughed. “Yeah right. Kelly is a sex addict. Everyone knows that. He can’t go more than a minute without getting some according to what his brothers say.” Her friend looked contrite the minute the words left her mouth. “I’m sorry. I know he’s changed. It’s not fair for me to toss his past in your face.”
And there was the sharp ache she’d been ignoring for the past month. “I know.” Her voice turned low and she looked away. “Kelly loves sex. I know who I’m married to. But I know for a fact he isn’t sleeping with me.”
Mallory sat up a little straighter. Her fingers gently pressed into Ashlynn’s arm. “Hey, Ash, Kelly loves you. He wouldn’t cheat on you if that’s what you’re worried about.”
She sniffled and dug in her bag for a tissue. God, she was a mess. “I don’t think so either, but it’s been a while since we’ve been intimate.”
“Like…nothing?”
“No. He always makes sure that I’m…satisfied, but we haven’t actually made love in months.”
Mallory frowned. “Maybe he’s going through something personal, stressed about work, or…”
“Having an affair.” She couldn’t stem off the tears. They fell like rain from a pierced cloud. Mallory awkwardly hugged her and Ashlynn tried to get her emotions under control. They were in the middle of a store for crying out loud.
“I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. Before you jump to any conclusions you need to really be sure. Why don’t we go over to that boutique, get you something sexy, and tonight you can seduce the balls off your husband. Then you’ll see this is just a dry spell.”
“I don’t know how to seduce a man.”
“Not a man. Your husband. Trust me. Some sexy lace, a pair of fuck me pumps, and some red lipstick, and he’ll be tackling your ass before you even get out a hello.”
Or he won’t. That was what she was afraid of.
Later that night, Ashlynn waited by the window in the living room, completely paranoid that Father Mark or Roy might suddenly decide to drop by. When she saw Kelly’s lights pulling into the drive, she darted away from the window and went to the couch. She quickly slipped the ridiculously tall heels on her feet that Mallory insisted she buy, and sat down.
The tight bodice of her corset pressed her breasts high. It was pretty, sort of Victorian looking, ivory satin with black lace stitching to match her long black gloves. Her hair was messy and she’d put on blood red lipstick to match her shoes. A thin black ribbon tied around her throat.
She ner
vously posed herself, crossing one leg over the other and waited, heart pounding. The sound of the front door opening gave her a jolt of nausea, her chance to abort this stupid ploy gone.
“Ash?”
She cleared her throat. “I’m in the den.”
The sound of Kelly’s boots hitting the carpet in the hall where he plucked them off every night was the only reply. She took a deep breath and waited.
“I brought us home some Chinese—” He stopped mid-stride, a bag of greasy take out in his hand.
“Did you have a nice day?”
“Fuck.”
That wasn’t the reply she was expecting, but she could work with that. Steadying her voice, she purred, “I had the same plan. Why don’t you come in and get comfortable.”
His eyes searched the room. She wasn’t sure what he was looking for. His hand went to his lower back and rubbed. “You know what, love, I think I hurt my back carrying up a few tanks at the bar.”
She frowned. “Are you okay?”
He placed the take out on the coffee table and sort of limped a few steps back. “Um…yeah. God, you look incredible. Why don’t I jump in the shower, let the hot water loosen up my back while you eat and then we can, uh, do this right?”
He wanted to take a shower? She frowned and before she could figure out what to say to that, before she could truly face the horrible sense of rejection, he turned and bolted out of the room. For a guy with a sore back he sure didn’t have a problem hurtling up the stairs.
* * * *
Fuck. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. Fuck!
Kelly stripped off his clothes and turned on the water. What the fuck? His wife was sexy in flannel. Her in a pair of do me pumps and that lace get up, gloves and all, was a crime against men. It should be illegal to look that fucking hot.
He jumped in the shower and grabbed his cock. He was never going to make it through the night without fucking her.
Three pumps in and about to spill all over poor, abused Jill and the door opened. Fuck. He quickly released his flesh and the shower curtain jerked open. Kelly smiled, “Hey, beautiful. Just working out some kinks. Did you eat?”