Beautyful
by Billione
a poetic experience
Beautyful
by Billione
Copyright © 2011 by Kilmgely Books
Beautyful © 2011 by Kilmgely Books
All poems written by Billione except where noted
Published by Kilmgely Books
A division of Billione Multimedia LLC.
No part of this publication may be
reproduced in any manner without
written permission from the publisher.
Send inquires to:
Kilmgely Books PO Box 20732
Ferndale, MI 48220
Cover Photo “Lavendar Rose”
by Marcia Thompson/ladyloneranger
For more information, visit
Billione Multimedia
First eBook Edition
To LaToya Abraham,
Charlene Martin and
Erica L. Shelby
“When you reach the heart of life
you shall find beauty in all things,
even in the eyes that are blind to beauty.”
-Kahlil Gibran
Billione | Beautyful
CONTENTS
NORTH: Words & Other Weapons
ONE: Beautyful
TWO: Adam
THREE: Purple Flowers
FOUR: of the Essence
FIVE. Supreme
SIX: (The Day) Before Yesterday
SEVEN: Bitter Sweet Cocktails or Tragic Love Stories
SOUTH: Symbiotic
Also by Billione
Love: In Hindsight
USA: United States of Adversity
Centric
Forthcoming from Billione
The Birth of Mars
Acknowledgement
Thank you to the Force that rebirths me every day.
Pharoe: Thank you for your positive energy, the pleasure of collaborating with you, and allowing me to share your work. Namaste!
Shawny, Ryan, Neo: Thank you for your constant support and for not allowing me to give up, even when I feel that is the only option.
LaToya, Charlene, and Erica: The three of you have helped me grow and see my own beauty in ways I am uncovering every day. Thank you for everything you have done to make me a better person.
A special thank you to my mother, Edwina White, for starting me on my writing journey and being the first person I knew to write creatively. May all your lost journals relive in everything I ever write. Thank you to my father, Victor White, brothers Vencent and Terrence, Angelicia, Monae, and my cousin Eddie Lee.
David and Shelly: Thank you for challenging me and helping me uncover my power. Sending many hugs to my niece and nephews, Ahmira, KJ and Terrence II. Thank you, Mae Kyles, Oliver Buffington, Jr., Shay Fitzpatrick, Lisa Lipscomb, Corey Larkins, Rayona Young, Adaora Bandele, Bilal and Kalojni.
Extra special thanks to Aquarius Press, Nathan Bullens, Blair, Sylvia Hubbard, Dessa Cosma, Monica Marie Jones, Jus Buckingham, Rico Razo, Mark Coker, Dave Woodward, Nathan Gallaway, Tamara Halliburton, Seth Carwyn, Randall Horton, Tracy Smith, London Bell, Chucky Boyd, Brian Whitehead and everyone who supports my writing journey.
Special thanks to my friends in every since of the word: Erin Tripp, Greg Brown, Elizabeth Fleming, Crystal Campbell, Torii Hamilton, Legacy Leonard, Max Matthies, Simone Chess and baby Esther. Glennisha Morgan, Cognito Blak, Ahmed Logan and Rhett Reyes.
I love each and every one of you in a very special and beautyful way.
Words & Other Weapons
Look for my journey in the margins
Of pages
In tablets resting
At the edge of my bed
Peacefully, right at my thigh
Warm, in the folds of a blanket that
Smells like Me
Spilling into the world remarks
On my behalf
I sleep well knowing these references are
Framed in revolution
Evolving into stories time has forgotten
Bent back far enough to reveal its face
To me
I remember that face
I have slept with it
Knowing it like love that
Left me just before dawn
Came back before the night air
Blew too strong
I remember that face
I fought with it
Closed fists, held close to my chest
Tucked away my peace in the
Pocket of my vest
I remember that face
I learned from it
Cried for it when I thought it was ruined
Found it looking for victories
Amidst ruins
I remember that face
Left by hungry opportunity seekers
I write these tears
Rather than show them
Fight these fears
Rather than own them
Speak now! Speak your truth
Fiction does not live here
Your silence cannot save you
Beautyful
Take these lips
That have kissed well
Sewn at their creases
Un-silenced
The truth my tongue knows
Gouge these eyes
That have seen
Beauty
Dumb down my pupils
That they learn nothing
Illusive
The vastness of Justice
Tear my flesh
With whips and daggers
Burn my wounds
As I calmly stagger
You will never have ME
Or the source of my peace
Adam
The whole world is in love with you
Tragic Manchild
Let me know
Is there something I can do
To ease the pressure
As it grows
Give it to me to hold
I’ll keep it deeply in my soul
All the things you can’t let go
Bring to me
Purple Flowers
I want to know what it feels like
To lie in fields of purple flowers
Remembering my first kiss
Soil pressed against my blindness
Sun robbing me of my secrets
Not mattering at all that I am not
Who I use to be
The smell of peace surrounding me
Staining my nostrils
With fragrant morsels
Of God's forgotten
I want to rest in the dirt
While grubs crawl between my toes
Bumble bees tickling my nose
Reminding me that nothing is more
Precious than the moment I realize
That no one is there but me
of the Essence
Moments
fused together
by a need to be kept
Triggered by scents
that trick the senses
into believing that one is
in love
I wait for you
in a moment that
eludes us
We wait for what is true
It does not come
Supreme
His brown locks
Silky as he is strong
Dangle at his waist
Perfectly
Waiting for me
Brushing across mountains
Fertile, navigable terrains
Made for me
His landscape stretches across the globe
Giving birth to my desires
I lay my head on his Houston
Kiss his Kingston
Inhale all his Iwo
And pla
ce my peace in his Paris
I whisper his name
I was made for him
To spend my life in his valley
Guarding his jewel
Being the moon to his Mercury
Submitting my Venus to his Sun
As I cower at the sight of it
Wallow in the light of it
Growing in his eminence
As he flows through me
(The Day) Before Yesterday
Before yesterday
I was unfamiliar with the
Sting of closed fists,
False tenderness and
The parts of myself I lost to bitterness
If I could go back
To that day,
When you were not even a concept and
Forget you
I would again be that man
I once knew
Forgive him for being lonely enough
To allow you
To take from him
That solitary day of
Quite
Bittersweet Cocktails or
Tragic Love Stories
It was bitter
With enough sweetness
To soften the blows
It was ours
Went down SLOW
We injured ourselves
With venom
Saturated our soft spots
We wanted this
It was our story
We were characters
Waiting for cues
(Cross Right)
We weren't ready
We made our exits
Stage Left!
Hung out in the wings
Hoped to be seen
Made our marks on bar stools
Swinging one way or another
Lost sight of intentions
Propped up
Fading at the edges
Prototypes with no inner voices
Choosing life
When there are no choices
Who are we
Nothing to each other
Everything to everyone else
Anyone else
Just to be held
By someone, anyone
Place our pain on their pillows
Unfamiliar
Symbiotic
By Pharoe and Billione
Behold this
Moment of wholeness
It takes boldness
To be so focused
History’s locust
Eats away our pride
Though it polishes our armor
Reveals our honor
It flows in us
Reforms in us
This thrust that
Forced us here
Placed us in the hands of
Hope
And from that hope I gained faith
That grew into a tree minus leaves,
With roots borrowing deep
Into the soul of my peace.
Uprooting my fears so that I could
Give birth to a butterfly
Chaotically struggling to break free
Follow,
Lest our journey be hollow,
Into pathways of better days
These crossroads be ancient
Guard our well tended futures
Teach us to refute this myth of fear
And walk tall toward all that is good
Chaos is but wisdom,
Waiting to be understood
They have become
Synonymous with patience,
This feeling is unanimously vacant
All I can do is pray and ponder
Upon the possibilities that I have
Fathered
Reared and followed, engulfed and
Swallowed
Digested and comprehended into
Organic visions
Of infinite versions of my being.
Replicating myself in fields unworthy
Waving in the wind in the
Direction of uncertainty
Rooted in faith, pure and pristine
Searching for clues as to
What it all means
This just might be all there is
It ALL is as it stands
Proof present in its existence
No formulaic philosophy hidden
In ideological remittance
No mystic languages, hoping to be discovered
We ARE the manifestation of things
Unseen
And we live happily
Among the treasures of the world
Longing to be the reality
Of someone’s dream