“God, I want you,” he mumbled, nipping at my bottom lip. “I wanted you the moment I saw you again. It’s what you do to me. Drive me fucking crazy.”
“I missed you too, Cash.” The words were easier to say than I thought they would be. I ran a hand over his hardness, hidden under his boxer shorts. “Now show me how crazy I drive you.”
An animalistic growl escaped him as he pushed my hand out of the way impatiently and shoved his boxers down. His cock jutted out, big and powerful. It brushed up against my hand, sending tingles through me.
With a hurried grasp, he clutched my hip and urged me up onto my knees. I held onto his shoulders tightly as he grasped his cock at the base and positioned it at my opening. The fingers of his other hand gripped my hip firmly.
“You really want this, sweetheart?”
“Fuck, yes,” I moaned.
With one thrust, he plunged up into me. I cried out and threw my head back, feeling torn in half and filled completely. There was nothing between us but hardness sliding against wetness. He was so big and wide that I trembled and whimpered with the size of him in me. I seized a handful of his shirt and rocked against him as he withdrew then thrust back into me.
“God, sweetheart, you feel amazing,” he groaned, tightening his fingers on my hips and moving me up and down. He wasn’t gentle or slow. It was hard and quick. Desperate and greedy.
We didn’t make love. We fucked with need and a raw craving. It was down and dirty. He moved in and out of me like a piston. His hand tangled in my hair, grabbing a fistful of the strands, and dragging my lips back to his. The gentle cowboy he had once been was no more. The badass he had become controlled everything, including taking what he wanted from me.
His thrusts were fast and rough. His hardness drove me insane. He hit me at my deepest point only to slide back out and do it all over again.
“Did you miss me?” he asked against my mouth, pumping deep into me. “Or did you miss my cock in you?”
I trembled as he pulled out then thrust back, stretching me. “Both.”
He growled and moved faster. I was at his mercy, taken and controlled.
His lips left mine to travel to my ear. “You’re soaking wet,” he whispered, “Is that what I do to you?”
“Always,” I said, breathing hard.
“Hmm. I like that word on your lips.”
His cock filled me full until I cried out. He held my face tightly between his two large hands and kissed me deeply as he dove in and out of my pussy. I wiggled and squirmed, crying against his mouth as the orgasm shattered me. Oh, god. I was dying.
His body coiled tight and a hiss escaped him as he plunged up into me one more time. I felt him come a second before he withdrew and shot his seed on my stomach. His semen hit my belly button, shooting warmth on me.
His breath was ragged as he caught my mouth in a kiss again. His cock hit my stomach, pulsating against me and smearing his come on me until the last drop left him.
“Sorry,” he whispered against my lips. “No condoms.” His fingers left deep indents in my skin as he held me still.
I kissed the corner of his mouth. “It’s okay. But you should know - you were the last one,” I said, the words slipping past my lips before I could stop them.
Cash went still at my words. “Three years—”
“And no one,” I whispered, pulling back to look at him.
He glanced away and ran a hand over his scruffy chin. “Hell, Cat. You don’t know what that means to me.”
I looked at him between the strands of hair falling in my face. “Then tell me.”
He shook his head, refusing to, so I filled in the blanks.
“You did something to me, Cash, and I haven’t recovered. I didn’t want anyone else after that night with you.” Oh, damn. Did I just admit that?
His eyes snapped back to mine. His hand shot to the back of my head and pulled me down close.
“You did something to me too, Catarina. You ruined me. I’ve never been the same.”
He kissed me again, gentle this time. His lips worshiped and I offered everything to them. He didn’t stop until he noticed I was cold.
“Shit,” he muttered. “You’re freezing.”
He tucked himself back in his boxers quickly and zipped up his jeans. Putting a hand on my bare thigh to keep me in his lap, he glanced around the dark living room. On the cluttered coffee table beside the chair, there was a crushed box of tissues, something Tate had proudly found in one of the bathrooms.
Cash grabbed it and pulled out a few tissues. He wiped my stomach clean then dropped the tissues on the floor and grabbed my hoodie. His hands drifted over my breasts and ribcage as he pulled it over my head.
“God, you’re so beautiful. I almost forgot how much,” he said quietly in the night.
I blushed. Three years was a long time since he told me I was beautiful. I wanted to hear it again and again. The clothes I once wore, the makeup and outrageous amount of money I had once spent on my hair never really mattered. Cash thought I was beautiful just the way I was. My heart had cracked a little open the first night we were together; now it burst wide.
He helped me pull my jeans back on then tugged me back to his lap. I rested my head against the crook of his shoulder as he gathered the blanket around us, cocooning us together. His lips went to my head, the strands of my hair tangling in the whiskers of his five-o’clock shadow on his jaw.
We sat that way for a while, just the two of us in a strange house during a strange time. Last time we were together I was afraid, so afraid of feeling something for him. But seeing him again just proved that despite time and distance, the feeling wouldn’t go away no matter how much I fought it.
I flattened my hand right above his heart. I could feel it beating. Thump. Thump. Thump. Strong. Powerful. Alive. For the first time in a long time, I felt safe. Watched over. My eyes started to drift closed, my body tired from being ravaged, when Cash ran a hand over my hair, smoothing it down.
“You cut it.”
Bad memories washed over me, chasing the sleep away like they always did.
“I had to,” I whispered, keeping my head on his chest. “For Keely.”
“Tell me what happened,” his voice rumbled under my ear, back to sounding cold and dangerous.
“There were two of them. I ran into them in the city. They cornered me in an alley but Nathan saved me.”
Cash’s body went stiff and his hand tightened on my waist but he didn’t say anything. Through my lashes, I could see his whiskered jaw clenched in fury.
I let my eyes drop back down and continued, knowing I needed to tell him. “They found us again later. We were raiding a store when they dragged Keely and me away. They barricaded us in a house and…” I raised my head, looking into his eyes. Fear rushed through me when anger and hatred stared back at me.
“What did they do, Cat?” Cash asked in a harsh voice.
I started shaking my head, tears in my eyes. “I fought but one of them – Paul - knocked me out. The next thing I know, I woke up and Keely is screaming and…and Paul is pulling my clothes off and—”
Cash ran a hand through his hair in rage. “I’ll kill him.”
“He didn’t get very far. Nathan and Tate stopped him. But then he shot Nathan…” my voice drifted off, reliving the nightmare. “And it was too late for Keely.”
Cash refused to look at me. He let go of my waist to rub both hands over his face. “Shit, Cat. Shit. I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry. I should have been there protecting you and Keely.”
I sat up on his lap. The tears running down my face were nothing compared to the hurt and guilt I felt.
“I’m the one who’s sorry, Cash. I tried to stop them. I tried to protect Keely, but…” I swiped the tears on my cheeks away with the back of my hand. “Paul was stronger. I just couldn’t get to her in time.”
“It’s not your fault, Cat.”
I shook my head. “Yes, it was. She refused to speak after t
hat. I think the trauma was more than she could handle.”
His gray eyes, so cold and clear, looked at me. “And now you have nightmares about it?”
I nodded. “I relive it all the time. Most nights I can’t sleep. I see him and feel his hands. I hear Keely screaming and I can’t get to her.”
He ran a hand down my side but his jaw was set firmly.
“You’re both safe now. That’s all that matters. No one will ever hurt you or Keely again. I promise.”
“You can’t promise that, Cash,” I whispered. “Things happen.”
He smirked but it was a dangerous smile. “Oh I can promise it, sweetheart. No one will touch you. No one will threaten you. I’ll make sure of it.”
I rested my head against his shoulder again but I could feel the rigid muscles under it. I could sense his anger and the fury he contained.
“You’ve changed,” I mumbled against his shirt, feeling sleep hover around my consciousness. “You’re colder. More dangerous.”
His voice was deadly. “You have no idea, sweetheart.”
Chapter Thirty–Six
Cash
I didn’t sleep much. I held Cat and thought over everything. Keely. The men that had hurt her and Cat. Cat’s brother, Nathan, dying to protect them. And Cat.
Always Cat.
I thought about her in my lap, riding me. I thought about her in the woods, ready to protect my sister and her little brother. I thought of that last phone call with her right before the EMP, the words mistake and broken still burned in my mind still. I thought of it all and knew this time I wouldn’t walk away from her again.
Morning came too early. I eased out from under Cat and stood up. She whimpered in her sleep and curled deeper under the blanket. I brushed a lock of her hair out of her face then left the living room quietly.
By the time I made it to the kitchen, my knuckles were white, curled into fists. I was beyond angry. I wanted to kill. Destroy. Goddamn hurt someone for what happened to Cat and Keely. But one thing at a time. First I had to face the light of day.
And Gavin.
He smirked at me as I walked into the room.
“Rough night, Romeo?” he asked.
“Fuck off,” I grumbled, grabbing a bottle of water from the kitchen counter. I glared at him and unscrewed the plastic top then chugged the lukewarm liquid down.
Gavin blinked, his smile disappearing. “What the hell happened? You never tell me to fuck off. That’s Ryder’s job.”
I emptied the water bottle and slammed it on the counter. “Yeah, well I’m taking over for Ryder. Fuck off, Gavin.”
Gavin opened his mouth to argue but Keely walked in. Another wave of anger hit me, knowing what she had endured.
“Give us a moment, Gavin,” I ordered, barely holding it together. I couldn’t think of what that monster did to my baby sister. I might go insane with rage.
“What’s going on—” Gavin began, never able to do what was asked. Damn him.
I cut him off, snapping my gaze over to him. “Get out!” I snarled, pointing to the door. “Now!”
Gavin took his time standing up, looking ready to ring my neck. No one raised their voice to Gavin. Well, no one but Ryder. But I just did and I would do it again if I had to.
He walked slowly past Keely, still staring at me. His arm brushed hers, his body close to her small one. I knew it was intentional and I was about to kill him for it.
When he was even with me, he stopped. His voice dropped down to a whisper.
“You find out why she’s not talking?” he asked. I could feel the tension rolling off him like heat waves. He had become very protective of my sister in a short period of time. I wasn’t stupid. I saw it. Damn, I recognized the feeling. I had felt the same way toward Cat as soon as I met her.
“Yeah,” I answered in a low voice, for his ears only. “I found out what happened.”
Gavin rolled his shoulders. I recognized the action. He was ready to fight.
“Who do I have to kill?” he seethed.
I gritted my teeth. “Two motherfuckers. But keeping the girls safe is our number one priority now. Nothing else matters.”
Gavin looked over his shoulder at Keely. “Yeah. I agree.” His body relaxed. He gave her a short nod and then turned and strolled from the room.
I took a deep breath as he left, needing strength. Keely looked at me questionably as I walked around the kitchen island toward her. She started chewing on her bottom lip then rushed to pull out her pad of paper. It hurt to see her to that, to know why she wouldn’t talk.
When I got close enough, I pulled the paper gently from her grasp.
“Cat told me what happened.”
Tears welled in her eyes. She reached out and grabbed the pad back from me then pulled her pencil from her pocket. I watched her write something, one lone tear slipping down her cheek.
I trusted her. She wasn’t supposed to tell you.
I read the note and nodded. “I know, but I got it out of her. I have my ways.”
She frowned and started writing again in her little notebook. A second later, she held it up for me to read.
Don’t look at me like that. I’m not broken. I’m just kind of bruised.
She always had a sense of humor and I was happy to see she still did. At least that fuckhead hadn’t taken that away from her.
“I know you’re not broken, Keely. I’m just pissed that it happened. I should have been there.” Frustrated, I rubbed a hand over my face and muttered, “I should have been there for you both.”
She shook her head frantically and started writing again.
No, you could have been killed like Nathan.
I inhaled deeply, hating the pain behind her written words.
“I’m sorry, Keely,” I whispered. “I’m so damn sorry.”
She wrote something, a tear falling on her hand.
I was in love with him.
That hurt to read like nothing else. I pulled her toward me, smashing the notebook between us when I wrapped my arms around her.
“No one will ever hurt you or Cat again. I swear,” I said against the top of her head as her tears soaked through my shirt.
After a second, she pulled away and started writing on her pad. I waited patiently until she held it up for me to read.
Cat? What is she to you? I want to know.
I blew out a breath and ran a hand through my hair, peering at Keely sheepishly. “Truth?”
Keely rolled her eyes then nodded.
I took a deep breath. “I don’t know but I’m afraid she just might be everything.”
~~~~
The tall grass brushed against my jeans later on as I walked toward the shed. I had left Gavin’s horse and mine tied up there before going inside last night. It was a miracle I had found them in the first place. The storm yesterday had been a big one.
I glanced up at the sky. Dark clouds still lingered. They matched my mood. Ominous, threatening, and churning with anger. I was still fucking mad even after Keely and Cat telling me they were okay.
My hands clenched and unclenched when I thought of the two assholes that had touched them. I wanted to kill. I wanted to maim. I wanted to punch a hole in the brick of the house until I bled and the pain disappeared. But I kept it all inside. I would need it later for when I met up with the two fuckers. I knew I would. It was only a matter of time.
As I walked up, my eyes flicked over the tall kid standing next to one of the horses, rubbing its ear. Cat’s little brother. The one I had made the promise to on our first date that I wouldn’t hurt her.
“She bites,” I said in way of a greeting, nodding at the horse.
Tate looked up at me, surprised. I walked to the other horse and bent down to check her hoof. She had been limping last night.
“You dated my sister at one time. I remember you now,” he said, standing with one hip cocked.
I looked up at him, noticing the gun in his waistband. “Guilty. You took care of her too. Than
ks for that.”
He huffed but didn’t say anything.
“You good with that thing?” I asked, nodding at the gun.
He stuck his chin up with pride, so much like his sister that I wanted to grin.
“Yeah. I survived this long, didn’t I?” he scowled, looking peeved that I had to ask.
“Guess so.” I let the horse’s hoof go and stood up, dusting the dirt off my hands. “Sorry to hear about your brother.”
His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “Cat tell you that I couldn’t pull the trigger on the man that did it?” he asked, trying and failing to hide his shame.
I studied the toe of my boot, the brim of my hat hiding my face from him. “She didn’t.” I looked up at him, squinting against the sun as a cloud passed by it. “But to kill a man eats away at your soul. I should know. Best that you didn’t do it.”
Tate scoffed and kicked at a dead weed. “I was a little chicken shit back then, but I’ve changed. If I see him again, he’ll bite my bullet.”
I grabbed the crown of my hat and readjusted it on my head, needing to do something with my hands before I punched something. “Get in line, Tate. If I see him, my dark side is going to come out to play.”
Tate crossed his arms over his chest and looked me up and down, eyeing the knife I kept on my hip. “You like my sister don’t you?”
I grinned. “Yeah, guess I do.”
Tate stuck his chin up. “If you like her so much, why didn’t you look for her all these years? She sure could have used you along the way.”
The grin slipped from my face. I felt guilt hit me from all sides. “I did,” I admitted. “But you gotta understand that she didn’t want anything to do with me…but I still looked for her.”
He nodded but stared at me hard. “I get it. But just know - if you hurt her, I won’t hesitate to kill you.”
“Well, I’d deserve it. But you’re gonna need that anger for what we’re about to do.”
He looked at me suspiciously. “And what’s that?”
Calmly, I walked up to him until I was a step away. “We’re going home, Tate, but it’s going to be hell getting there.”
~~~~