But really, it was no big deal, right? I shouldn’t let the moment bother me. So what if I was in a hot tub with a bunch of big, burly football players. So what if they were all leering at me, their gazes locked on my chest, their tongues practically hanging out of their mouths.
Thank goodness for Cannon Whittaker rushing to my defense. He slipped his arm around my shoulders, his big hand gripping me firmly but not scary tight. Glaring at all of the guys, his expression was freaking scary as he gave them the stare down.
“Leave her alone,” he said, his voice so deep, so incredibly menacing, they all practically leapt out of the hot tub to make their escape as soon as possible. I’ve never seen such big guys move so fast, not even when they’re playing on the football field.
As I sat there trembling, relishing the full weight of Cannon’s arm resting on my shoulders, I told myself it was no big deal. I sort of asked for their rude behavior, right? I’m the one with the skank reputation at school. A reputation I mostly earned, because I wanted their attention. I wanted to be known as a girl guys liked. I didn’t care how I went about it. At least someone was paying attention to me.
But then Cannon turned to look at me, his gaze soft and full of concern, all the anger gone from his face. “Sorry about those assholes. They didn’t mean anything by it.” Yeah. They so did, but I didn’t bother arguing with him. “Are you all right?”
The tenderness in his voice, in his gaze, how sincere he sounded…it all got to be too much.
So I’d panicked and bailed. Slipped from underneath his heavy arm, climbed out of the hot tub, snagged a towel from a nearby chair and ran away from him. He called my name as I ran away but I ignored him. What could I say?
Absolutely nothing.
I hid in the corner of the backyard and hurriedly slipped my clothes on, waiting for the moment I could get past Cannon and go back inside the house.
And that’s how I ended up in the tiny bathroom, a trembling, confused mess. Turning, I faced the mirror, blinking at my reflection. My mascara was smeared beneath my eyes and my clothes stuck to my damp body. I looked awful.
Awful.
Grabbing a tissue from the box on the counter, I wiped the smudged makeup from my face, then washed my hands. Ran my damp fingers through my hair, pushing it back from my face. Someone knocked on the door but I ignored them, turning the water on full blast so I couldn’t hear the music, the knocking, the yelling.
I was having a full-blown panic attack in a tiny bathroom at Tuttle’s house on a Friday night. My life couldn’t get much worse.
The pounding on the door got louder and I gripped the edge of the marble counter, yelling through clenched teeth, “Give me a minute!” I could tell it was a guy on the other side of the door. He was just some douche wanting to get his girl in here or do drugs. I needed to get out of here. Go home and pull the covers over my head. Try my best to forget this night was even happening.
But then I remembered why it was happening. Who I was there for. Livvy. My best friend, my girl was leaving me tomorrow and she’d be gone for the rest of the summer. I don’t know what I’ll do without her. I can hang around with Dustin but it’s not the same. There’s an easiness I have with Livvy I don’t experience with anyone else.
Standing up straight, I push away from the counter and go to the door, turning the lock and throwing open the door to find…
Cannon standing there, his eyes a little wild as he blinked down at me. “Why’d you run off?”
I’m so startled he’s in front of me I just stare at him for a moment before I reply, “Why do you care?” I clamp my lips shut after the words leave me, feeling embarrassed. Ashamed. He’s being nice and I’m crapping all over him.
“I just wanted to make sure you were all right,” he murmurs just before he starts to turn away from me.
“Wait.” I grab hold of his arm, my fingers barely reaching around his thick forearm. “I’m sorry.”
He glances down at my hand on his arm before lifting his gaze to mine once more. His eyes are…beautiful. A mixture of blues that I find myself becoming a little lost in. “Those guys freak you out?” His voice is gentle, like he’s afraid I might startle easy.
I nod, not saying a word, yet still holding on to him.
“Did I freak you out?” He looks worried that he might’ve and I almost want to laugh at the absurdity.
Instead, I shake my head, still silent.
“Good.” The relief in his voice, on his face is obvious. “I’m sorry they were such jerks.”
“It’s not your fault.” It’s mine.
I want to say those last two words, but I don’t. Admitting faults is not easy for anyone, especially me.
He glances to his right, then his left, before he’s shoving his way into the bathroom, quickly shutting the door behind him. I back up until I hit the counter and I watch him warily as he turns the lock into place, keeping his back to me.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
Cannon starts toward me and I realize quick I can’t escape. The bathroom is tiny and he’s directly in front of me in seconds, his big hands going to my waist and lifting. I gasp when he sets me on the edge of the counter, my knees spreading when he steps in between them.
“You confuse me,” he admits, his voice low, his gaze searching my face.
I dip my head, not wanting him to spot my secrets. “I shouldn’t. It’s pretty obvious what I am.”
“And what are you?”
A joke. A slut. Dumb. Useless. All of those things. None of those things. “I’m not going to do anything with you tonight,” I say as I lift my head, my gaze meeting his once more.
He cocks a brow. “I didn’t think you would.”
“Then why are we locked up in this tiny bathroom together?”
His hands still haven’t left my waist, and they start to move, down over my hips, along the outside of my thighs, and then back up again. He’s touching me in all the good places, and yes, it feels really good, but his touch also feels…
Comforting.
“Because I think you need to get away from all this.” He goes silent and I know what he’s talking about. The party. The people. The music and the food and the booze and the hot tub and all of it.
“And you’re my hero, running in to assist me at a moment’s notice?” I rest my hands on his chest and he sucks in a breath. I know this because I can feel the movement beneath my hands. A surge of power rushes through me, that I can make him react like that.
I like it. A lot.
“I just wanted to help a girl out.” He removes one hand from my side and circles his fingers around my wrist, clutching it loosely. “You confuse the hell out of me.”
His words are a surprise and I’m not really sure how I should answer. “Feeling’s mutual,” I finally whisper.
Without any hesitation whatsoever he dips his head and kisses me. It’s my turn to suck in a breath, shocked at that first touch of his lips. They’re warm and soft and taste faintly of beer and I curl my fingers into his T-shirt, not wanting him to escape.
“I said I wasn’t going to do anything with you tonight,” I remind him when he breaks the kiss, his mouth still hovering above mine.
“Not even let me kiss you again?” Oh, the sound of his deep, rumbly voice does something to me. Makes my belly flip and my blood run hot.
“We shouldn’t,” I say against his lips.
He kisses me again, kissing me silent, boneless, brainless. It’s the simplest of kisses. No tongue. No moans, no groans, no wandering hands and hot words of urgency. Instead it’s just…a kiss. That evolves into a series of sweet, lingering kisses that has me leaning into him. Has me parting my lips, wishing he would take it deeper.
But he doesn’t. Eventually he pulls away and I open my eyes to find him watching me. His cheeks are ruddy, his eyes a little dazed and his lips-perfect, pink, delectable lips-are damp. “You need more of that in your life,” he says.
I frown. “More of what?”
His mouth is on mine yet again, in a too brief, too delicious kiss. “More of that,” he whispers.
Just before he turns and unlocks the door, making his escape without even a backward glance.
****
Ummmm…I’m posting this early. Yay! What did you think of Emily’s chapter? This girl…is a mess. I sort of love being in her messy head! So hey, preorder links are live for JUST FRIENDS. Click here to check them out: http://monicamurphyauthor.com/books/justfriends/
Chapter 11 - Cannon
I need to get the hell out of here. Regret runs through me, punishing me hard, pushing me through Tuttle’s house and toward the front door. I ignore everyone-which is hard because I know everyone-but I don’t care what they want to say to me tonight.
All I can think about is Emily.
The sound of her voice rings in my head. I can’t shake that wary look on her face as she watched me. She didn’t trust me when I first barged into the bathroom, and I can’t blame her. Doesn’t matter that I tried my best to run to her rescue earlier in the hot tub and save her from the assholes on my team. I could easily be lumped in with the rest of those assholes. I’m as bad as the rest of them.
So why does Emily make me want to be different?
It’s like the moment we just shared is stuck on rewind in my brain. How her body felt beneath my hands. How responsive she was when I kissed her. How much I wanted to take that kiss further, but something held me back. I could sense she was hanging on by a thread. One wrong move would shatter her and I needed to treat her like she was made of glass.
“Cannon!”
The sound of her voice makes me stop and I turn to watch as she makes her way to where I stand. She stops just in front of me and grabs my hand, interlacing our fingers together. It takes her a moment to speak and I realize she’s trying to catch her breath first.
Meaning she just chased after me.
Wild.
“Why did you leave?” she finally asks.
“Why did you come after me?”
She squeezes my hand, her gaze never leaving mine. “Why did you kiss me?”
Because I can’t resist you? I can’t answer that question truthfully. Instead, I shrug. “I don’t know.”
Emily gives me a look, one that says bullshit. “Be real with me right now,” she murmurs.
I don’t know how I can hear her soft voice, what with all the noise surrounding us, but I do. As if all of my senses are so completely focused on her, I see and hear nothing else.
So it’s my turn to squeeze her hand as I bend forward and dip my head close to hers, her damp hair brushing against my face. She smells good, like strawberries. “There’s something about you that I can’t resist,” I whisper in her ear.
When I pull away, she’s smiling. “Is that a line, Cannon Whittaker?”
Shaking my head, I crack a smile as I say, “No ma’am.”
She bursts out laughing. “Did you just call me ma’am?”
“Yeah.” I shuffle my feet and look down at the floor. Could I be any dumber? “I did.”
“Come on. Let’s go outside.” She tugs on my hand and I follow after her, surprised when she takes us through the front door. The moment we walk outside, the air is cooler, a fresh breeze washing over us, and I’m grateful to be out of that house, away from the noise and the heat. I suck in a deep breath as I let her lead me down the front steps, past a couple literally writhing around on the front lawn, their arms and legs intertwined.
“Get a room,” Emily yells at them, making me laugh.
“Where we going, Em?” I ask her as she leads me past the fence that surrounds Tuttle’s front yard. I’m not sure what she’s up to, but I’m game for whatever as long as I can spend more time with her.
“Right here,” she says, pointing to a bench that sits in front of the fence, right at the start of the walkway leading to the front door. “Let’s sit down.”
I glance around before sitting on the iron bench, Emily nestled up right next to me. I slip my arm around her shoulders and tug her in closer, liking how easily she fits. Like we were made to sit like this together.
Corny as hell, but true.
“Um, I hate to tell you this, but if we’re going to make out, we’ll be putting on a public display right here,” I say, my ears going hot the moment the words leave my mouth. I’m such an idiot. I don’t know why I’m embarrassed but I need to get over myself.
She giggles. “I didn’t bring you here to hook up, Cannon.”
I fight the disappointment that threatens to take over when she glances up at me, amusement glittering in her eyes. The moon is bright at only half full, yet I can see her clearly, her face gilded silver. She’s beautiful.
I wonder if anyone has ever told her that.
“Then what are we doing?” I ask her, looking around like I’m confused. Because I am confused. By the entire night, by this girl, by the way she’s looking at me, how she kissed me. Everything’s happening so fast and I have no control over it, which is the hard part, you know? I’m usually in control of everything.
“Here.” She reaches out and touches her fingers lightly to my jaw, tilting my head back. “Look at the sky.”
Emily drops her hand and I lean against the bench, my gaze fixed on all the stars. She leans her head against my shoulder and stares up at the stars too. “The sky is clearer out here,” I say.
“I know,” she says softly. “Not as many city lights blocking the stars. Though the moon is pretty bright so we can’t see as many.”
“There’s still a lot up there.”
She turns to look at me, her eyes wide and she’s wearing a pretty smile. “Not as many as there would be if the moon was smaller. Right after a full moon, the sky is full of so many stars, no way could you ever count them all.”
“Have you ever tried?”
Slowly she shakes her head, her smile fading, but not her happiness. No, she looks pleased by my question, by my willingness to sit out here with her and stare at the sky. “I figured it was impossible,” she admits.
“Nothing’s impossible,” I say firmly. “Unless you don’t try.”
“Are you saying we should try?”
“Hell yeah, we should.”
The smile is back, fleeting but there, and then she’s kissing my cheek, her lips lingering close to my jaw. I swear I hear her inhale and I wonder if she’s trying to smell me. God knows I’m trying my hardest to smell her. “I like you, Cannon,” she murmurs against my skin.
“Oh, yeah?” I’m afraid if I move, I’ll ruin the moment so I stay completely still, desperate to keep her close.
Em nods. “Yeah. But don’t let it get around. I don’t want to ruin my reputation.”
Her careless, supposedly joking words are like a punch to the gut. I back away from her, frowning. “Why you always gotta bash yourself like that?”
“What do you mean?” She scowls.
“You don’t want anyone to know that you like me because it’ll ruin your reputation?” I ask incredulously.
She looks away, bracing her hands on the edge of the bench seat, offering up a little shrug. I’d bet money she’s gonna bolt any second, but luckily she remains in place.
“Don’t act like that with me, Emily,” I tell her, talking to the back of her head. I don’t need to see her face as long as she’s listening to my words. “You’re more than a hook up in the back seat of some asshole’s car. And you’re more than the flirty girl in geometry class who pretends it’s okay when the guys make hand gestures at her. Like it’s funny they’re pretending to ask for a hand job when that shit isn’t funny at all.”
Her shoulders flinch at my reminder. I’d seen some guys in the class we had together do that to her time and again and she always laughed. Brushed it off. At first I thought she was cool. Then I thought the guys were jerks.
Then I pulled them aside one day after class and told them to stop with the crude gestures or I’d beat the shit out of them. They never
gestured at her again.
She has no idea I made that stop.
“You don’t know me,” she says quietly, still facing away from me. “So don’t act like you do.”
“I’d like to get to know you.”
She glances over her shoulder, her gaze meeting mine, and I swear her eyes are damp with unshed tears. “Please. You just want to feel me up in the hopes I’ll fall to my knees for you.”
Okay, now I’m sorta pissed. “When did I ever say that? When did I even act like that’s all I want from you?” When she says nothing, I forge on, anger making my voice thunderous. “I’ve been nothing but a gentleman toward you all damn night so at least give me some credit.”
“Why? In the hopes it might score you a blow job?” She leaps to her feet, her hands resting on her hips. “Please. I’m not falling for your shit, Cannon.”
“It’s not shit.” I rise to my feet too, standing above her, my anger fading quickly. I wish I could pull her into my arms and give her a hug. I’m thinking she really needs one right about now. “I’m being completely honest with you, Em.”
“You’re a player.” She flings the words at me like an accusation. “You’ve gone out with so many girls I’ve lost count.”
It’s never fun to have your reputation thrown at you, that’s for sure. And since when was she keeping count of the girls I’ve been with? “So? It doesn’t mean I haven’t been waiting, looking for the right one.”
Her mouth drops open and she’s staring at me like I’m crazy. “What are you saying?”
I shrug. “Assume whatever you want.”
Her gaze falls to the empty bench before it returns to me. “You still want to look at the sky?”
“You still want to sit with me?” Her mood changes are a trip.
She nods slowly. “You won’t try any fast moves?”
“That’s not why I’m here.”
Releasing a shuddery breath, she walks back over to the bench and sits down, patting the empty space beside her. “Then let’s do this.”