She smiles and shakes her head. “This is what you do when you’re feeling lonesome on the road?”
I shrug. “Yeah, but I like to leave a little surprise inside for the next person.”
“Like a...sticky surprise? Ew!”
“What? It’s packed with protein!”
She rolls her eyes. “Seriously. What kind of surprise are you talking about?”
“There’s only one thing that actually matters to anyone these days,” I say, pulling my wallet from my back pocket and taking out a few hundred-dollar bills. “But I like to imagine that the kind of person who opens up a Bible in a hotel room is either someone who’s going through a hard time and looking for some guidance, or they’re just a creepy serial killer. So I like to leave some cash tucked inside the pages. The person going through a hard time might see it as a sign that there is still kindness in this fucked-up world. And the serial killer will probably just take it to a strip bar and the money will help some down-on-her-luck stripper.”
She crawls across the bed and sits on the edge of the mattress in front of me, so her knees are right by my face. “What if the serial killer uses the money to buy some rope or a gun?”
I turn toward her, spreading her knees apart so I can plant a kiss on her thigh. “What if this building gets hit by a meteor and we both die? I prefer to think positively. But Hide the Bible is going to have to wait,” I say, lifting the hem of her skirt to confirm that she’s not wearing any panties, “because I think my dick is about to explode. Somebody call a doctor, because this erection is gonna last more than four hours.”
She laughs as she shoves the flowy fabric of her skirt down between her legs to hide herself. “Do you have a condom?”
“Why do I need a condom to lick you?” I say, lifting her skirt again.
Once again, she covers herself up. “Do you really not have a condom?”
I cock an eyebrow as I look up at her. “I thought you were on the pill.”
Her eyes widen with shock. “I haven’t been on the pill for almost two years!”
I scrunch up my nose in confusion. “You haven’t had sex in two years?”
Her face screws up in an expression of utter embarrassment before she flings herself backward and rolls away. “You’re the only guy I’ve ever been with, okay? Are you happy now?”
I climb onto the bed and prop myself up on one elbow as I lie down beside her. “I’ve never doubted my love for you, but I’ve never been more certain of your love for me than I am in this moment,” I say, placing my hand on her hip. “So, no, I’m not happy now. I’m fucking ecstatic…and honored.”
She sniffs loudly as she wipes away a tear from the bridge of her nose. “I hate loving you so much. I bet you probably fucked dozens of girls after we broke up.”
“The key word there being fucked,” I reply, sliding my hand down until it covers her abdomen. “You’re still the only girl I’ve ever made love to.”
“Made love?” she says with a dismissive chuckle.
“Yes, I said make love,” I reply, pulling her toward me to turn her onto her back so I can see her face and look her in the eye. “It’s always fucking, but with you, and only you, it’s fucking with feelings. You know damn well what I mean.”
She pouts as she wipes moisture from her temple. “Humor me. Pretend I don’t know what you mean. Tell me… What does it mean to make love?”
I smile as I slide my hand under the hem of her silky tank top to feel her soft, warm skin. “When you make love to someone, it always starts with words,” I say, moving my hand up, relishing the feeling of goose bumps sprouting beneath my fingertips. “It could be words spoken or words sung in a song, but it always starts with words.” I lean down and nuzzle my nose into her hairline until my lips are next to her ear. “Words like, ‘I love us,’ or, ‘Your body does crazy things to me,’ or, ‘I’m gonna fuck you so hard, you’re gonna split in half.’”
She chuckles. “Are those song lyrics?”
“No, but they will be as soon as I’ve made you come at least three times,” I whisper as I brush my thumb over her hardened nipple through the fabric of her bra.
She sucks in a sharp breath. “You might want to leave that ‘split you in half’ line out. Don’t want to scare the mothers of all those thirteen-year-old fans.”
I laugh and shake my head as I move my hand between her legs and hike up her skirt. “Yes, kitten,” I say as I slip a finger inside her, not at all surprised to find she’s drenched in her arousal. “Holy fuck. You weren’t kidding when you said you haven’t had sex. Your pussy is tight as fuck right now.”
She moans as I fuck her with just my middle finger, and the sound makes my cock as hard as steel. “Go easy on me,” she breathes, wrapping her arms around my neck.
I lean down and kiss the tip of her nose, but I don’t kiss her yet. I want to watch her face as I slide my finger out of her pussy and begin massaging her clit. Her entire body jerks and her eyes roll back as I rub her swollen bud.
“Oh, God!” she cries, as her thighs begin to tremble.
I quickly remove my hand from between her legs. “I want to make you come with my mouth,” I say, positioning myself between her legs, smiling as she spreads her legs for me, revealing a gloriously pink and glistening shaved pussy. “You’re so goddam beautiful.”
I don’t go for her clit right away. I wrap my arms around her legs and lay a trail of soft, lingering kisses down the inside of her thigh until I reach her center. Her body trembles with anticipation as I kiss her everywhere except her most sensitive spot. Sliding my tongue inside her, I growl with pleasure as I lap up her essence. Drinking her nectar like a bird to a flower.
Her hand lands on the top of my head, her fingers twisting through my hair as she whimpers. “Oh, Ben. Oh, God.”
I lick my way up her slit until I reach her clit. I kiss it as if I’m kissing her beautiful mouth and within seconds the trembling in her legs turns into violent spasms. She screams as the orgasm shudders through her, so loudly I find myself hoping we don’t get a knock on the door to check on us. Not that I’d answer it.
I plan on making love to Charley for the rest of the day and night. For the rest of my life, actually. As her body relaxes under me, my heart squeezes in my chest at the thought of asking my kitten to marry me.
Once she’s caught her breath, she looks down at me and smiles. “I forgot how good you are at that. Much better than my vibrator.”
I place a parting kiss on her clit, then slide off the bed. “It’s easy to be good at something you love,” I say, as I pull off my shirt and begin undoing my jeans.
She follows my lead, yanking off her tank top and slipping out of her skirt.
“I’ll do that,” I say as she reaches behind her back to undo her bra.
She grins as she turns her back to me. “Be my guest.”
I sit behind her on the bed and lean forward, placing a tender kiss on her smooth shoulder. “I love you, Char,” I whisper, brushing her hair aside so I can kiss the back of her neck. “I don’t want to hurt you. You’ll tell me if I’m hurting you, won’t you?”
She smiles. “You won’t hurt me.”
I have to stop myself from saying, I hope you’re right.
“I don’t have a condom,” I say as I toss her bra onto the floor. “But, even if I did, I don’t know if I’d use it. I want to feel every inch of you, inside and out.”
She lies back on the bed and reaches up to touch my cheek. “It’s okay. I trust you. But after today, I’ll get on the pill.”
I lay my hand on her bare abdomen. “And if you get pregnant today?”
She swallows hard as my hand slides between her legs again. “That’s what the morning-after pill is for.”
I smile as she spreads her legs when I climb on top of her. Propping myself up on one elbow, I lace my fingers through hers and lean down to kiss her lips. She whimpers as she coils her long legs around my hips and I slide my tongue inside her mouth.
&n
bsp; We kiss like this for a long time, my hand exploring her, pleasuring her, until I’m certain I’ll die unless I’m inside her. I slide the head of my cock through the drenched folds of her pussy, savoring the look of ecstasy on her face when it skids over her clit.
“Brace yourself, kitten,” I whisper, as I carefully slide my dick inside her.
Her mouth drops open in shock.
I freeze when I’m just a couple inches inside. “Are you okay?” I ask, and she nods enthusiastically, but she doesn’t say a word. “Are you sure?”
She continues nodding, but this time a smile spreads across her face.
I chuckle. “Okay, just tell me if it hurts.”
I sink into her slowly, a little at a time, giving her a while to adjust to my girth. I rock my hips back and forth slowly, like waves gently lapping at the shore. Finally, I nod to let her know I’m going to take it all the way in, and she nods in agreement.
As I sink into her, my muscles seize up. “Holy shit. You feel so fucking good.”
She gasps when I hit her cervix and my gaze is locked on hers as I stop thrusting. “I’m okay,” she urges me on. “I’m okay. I swear. Don’t stop.”
I nod as I lean down to kiss her as I push into her again. When I pull my head up to look at her, she’s crying.
“It doesn’t hurt. I swear. It only hurts here,” she says, pointing at her heart.
I plant a kiss on her nose and smile as I sink in and out of her. “When we were apart, every time I saw something beautiful, I thought of you.” I brush a tear from her temple. “What lens you might use, what angle, what time of day. How would you photograph this so other people could see its true beauty… A picture is worth a thousand words, but yours are worth so much more. You’re so talented, Char. You should be out there with me, seeing the world. Come with me…” I slide my hand between us so I can rub her clit. “Come with me, kitten.”
She closes her eyes as she leans her head back. “Oh, God… Yes.”
The muscles in my back and arms tighten as a rush of pleasure courses through my veins. She practically tears the skin off my back as her pussy clenches around my cock and she orgasms for the third time. I groan as I let go, collapsing on top as my dick twitches inside her.
I take a moment to catch my breath before I roll off her. “You can sleep on the wet spot.”
She smacks my arm. “How rude? Aren’t there two bedrooms in this suite?”
I laugh. “Yeah, you get this one and I get the clean one.”
She rolls her eyes and turns away from me.
I take the opportunity to pull her ass flush against my dick. “Are you serious? You’re really gonna come on the road with me?”
She lays her hand over mine as I place my hand on her stomach. “Do you promise not to hurt me?”
All I can think about in this moment is the meeting I have scheduled with Katie for tomorrow. I originally thought I could talk to Katie over Skype or FaceTime, but I realized, after I had to reschedule due to the wedding I went to with Charley, I really need to talk to Katie in person. She needs to feel my anguish, to see it in person. And I need to see hers, too. But this meeting with Katie could blow up in my face, and Charley could end up hurt.
It would be stupid of me to make a promise I can’t keep. But there’s no fucking denying that I’m a complete fool for Charley. I’ll do anything to keep her. And if I get to take her with me on the road, then I’ll truly have everything I’ve ever wanted.
I lay a soft kiss on her shoulder. “I promise I won’t hurt you.”
22
Make Me Cry
Now
Ben and I wake up early to order room service before he has to head to the airport to catch a flight to L.A. The Mexican breakfast of migas con huevos I order is life changing. I don’t know what they’re sprinkling in the food at the Four Seasons, but I will definitely be coming back here to visit Ben often. I could get used to this lifestyle.
After breakfast, Ben and I take a shower and go for round seven or eleven or eighty-two. I don’t know what we’re up to. I lost count last night. Then, I blow-dry my hair quickly and dress in a fresh pair of cutoff jean shorts, peasant top, and white Chucks.
I sling my backpack over my shoulder and head for the door. “I’m off,” I declare.
Ben laughs as he grabs the keys to the apartment he rented for me out of the nightstand. “I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I’m not letting you walk down alone. And don’t forget your keys.”
I smile as he stuffs the keys into the front pocket of my shorts. “Thanks, but I think I can make it down to the lobby by myself.”
He shakes his head. “I wasn’t asking permission to walk you down.”
I can’t help but laugh. “Oh, so now you’re not asking permission. You’re just telling me what to do?”
“No, I’m not telling you what to do. I’m telling you what I’m going to do. There’s a distinction,” he says, hooking his arm around my waist and pulling me close. “Like right now, I’m telling you that when I get back from L.A., I’m going to take you and my dad for a day trip.”
“A day trip? Is your dad strong enough for that?” I ask, my voice breaking on the word “strong.” “Why do you always make me cry?”
Ben doesn’t answer my question. He just looks into my eyes for a while, a soft smile forming as he brushes my hair behind my ear. “You have the most beautiful heart of anyone I’ve ever known. The way you care about my dad is breathtaking. Thank you for being there for him when I wasn’t.”
I wrap my arms around his waist and press my cheek against his shoulder. He folds his arms around me and we stand like this for a while. I don’t know if Ben is getting his “me time” or if it’s the other way around. Either way, it feels good just to be with him like this.
Reluctantly, I let go and step back. “We have to get going or you’ll miss your flight.”
His eyebrows scrunch together, almost as if he’s in physical pain. I recognize this expression. It’s the same one he wore almost every time we were together in the last few months before the breakup. Just seeing it for that split second makes my stomach vault.
“Let’s go,” he declares, nodding toward the door.
When we’re out in the corridor, I feel like I need to do something to lighten the mood. I don’t want to let Ben leave for L.A., leaving his father behind, with such a heavy heart.
I stop in the middle of the corridor and gasp. “I think I forgot my cell on the bathroom counter.”
“I’ll get it,” Ben replies automatically, turning around to head back to the room.
“Psych!” I squeal, then I race down the corridor.
I turn right into the elevator vestibule and laugh with glee when I see a man exiting the elevator on the left. I rush in, apologizing for accidentally bumping his shoulder. I’m spamming the “close door” button on the elevator control panel, when the button falls off, revealing a flat steel surface underneath.
The button was never actually connected to the control panel.
“Ah-ha! I caught you!” Ben says as he rushes into the cabin before the doors slide shut.
I look back and forth between the control panel and the plastic button on the floor.
“What’s wrong?” Ben asks.
I shake my head. “It was all a lie. It was always a lie.”
His eyes widen. “What are you talking about?”
“Look!” I say, pointing at the button on the floor. “It was never real.”
He stares at the thin piece of plastic with the two black arrows pointing at each other for a moment, trying to understand what he’s looking at. Then, he glances at the empty space on the control panel and gasps. “This is one of my top ten betrayals.”
“I’m going to write a very strongly-worded letter to hotel management,” I reply, leaning against the wall of the elevator.
“Fuck that noise,” Ben says, shaking his head. “I’m writing an entire album about this. I think I’m having an exi
stential crisis.”
I roll my eyes. “Too far.”
He laughs as he grabs my face, pressing his body into mine as he kisses me hard. My breath is caught in my lungs as his tongue pushes into my mouth. It’s a deep, drugging kiss. Like a shot of whiskey injected straight into my heart. Totally inappropriate for an elevator, but totally appropriate for Ben. I begin to feel him hardening against my stomach as the elevator slows down near the fourth floor.
I press my lips together to keep from laughing as he lets go of my face and spins away before the doors slide open. An elderly couple enter the cabin and the woman’s eyes widen when she sees Ben adjusting the crotch of his jeans.
Ben grabs my shoulders and positions me in front of him. “Good morning,” he says to the woman, who responds with a weak smile.
I close my eyes and bite my lip to keep from laughing as his boner prods my ass. When we reach the lobby and the doors slide open, Ben and I wait for the couple to exit ahead of us.
When they’re out of sight, I turn around to face him. “Dude, get rid of that thing.”
He looks around as he adjusts the fabric around his crotch until his erection subsides. “This is your fault. You’re a temptress.”
“So, write a song about it. Don’t go around traumatizing old people,” I say, heading toward the exit.
He grabs my hand and laces his fingers through mine. “What are your plans for the day? Are you gonna go see the apartment?”
“Well, Plan A is to get some Plan B. Then, I don’t know. Is there a surprise waiting for me at the apartment?”
Without answering my question, he points at something to his right and growls through gritted teeth, “Back the fuck off.”
I look in the direction he’s pointing and, sure enough, behind a six-foot-tall potted plant is the neckbeard with the camera. Ben’s paparazzi-radar never fails. The guy flips me the finger for the second time in less than twenty-four hours. I stick my tongue out at him as Ben pushes the revolving door for us to exit the lobby.