“Don’t play coy with me. I know you’re fucking Maris. I mean, the guy’s generally happy-go-lucky as a rule, but that’s not the face of a man who isn’t getting some action.” He reached out to touch her face. “You know what I mean?”
She slapped his hand away before it could touch her. The fact that his body had been pressed to hers without her permission made Vanessa’s blood run cold. Even a hint of nonconsensual touching was enough to simultaneously make her want to throw up until she passed out and commit aggravated assault until he passed out. “Of course I know what you mean. A toddler would know what you mean, you monosyllabic imbecile. And if you don’t want a repeat of the other day at the gym, I suggest you take your bullshit elsewhere.”
The sneer on Danny’s face morphed into rage, pure and simple. “I’d watch your tone with me, bitch.”
“I disagree, Akana.” Jax placed his massive frame between her and her pest. Her heart rate slowed somewhat. She was glad he showed up as a buffer, but she wasn’t one to hide behind anyone’s apron, so she stepped around to stand in front of him. Caveman that he was, he compromised by placing a hand on her hip and pulling her into his side. She decided it was a compromise she could live with. “I don’t think she has to watch her tone with anyone. But if you don’t leave her alone, you’re going to have to watch your six. Feel me?”
Oh, shit. “Jackson, don’t you dare,” she said quietly to him. “I don’t want you fighting because of me, or for me, or anything else.”
Without taking his eyes off the other man, he replied, “Wasn’t planning on it. I’m simply informing him that his company isn’t welcome, and he should run along before he says something he’ll regret.” His eyes narrowed and his jaw muscles pulsed in aggravation. “Again.”
It seemed Danny’s face had only two settings because the sneer was back again. “Yeah, that got to you, didn’t it, Maris? Maybe because you know it’s true?”
Vanessa felt Jackson’s muscles bunch around her, and the hand on her hip tightened reflexively as though trying to make a fist but unable to part with her to do so. Not good. One more word from his teammate and Jackson was going to throw down in the middle of this crowd.
“Whatever gets you through the night, Akana. You know what? You stay and have fun. I think we’ve danced enough for one night. See you at the gym.” And with that he took her hand and started to lead her away.
“Remember, Maris, lemme know when you’re done with her. I’ll fuck that little cunt so long and hard she’ll have to beg me to stop.”
Vanessa froze in her tracks. Memories of crying herself to sleep at night because she hadn’t been able to protect her baby sister from a predator, a monster who gave no thought to ruining a girl’s life, came rushing to the surface. Her carefully constructed walls that prevented them from seeing the light of day had been breached by a mere sentence.
Releasing Jax’s hand, she closed her fist, spun around, and decked the man square in his nose with every ounce of hatred she had for him, Carl, and every other man like them.
…
Bright red blood exploded from Akana’s face. His eyes flew wide, stunned as his hands flew up to his broken nose while it continued to gush between his fingers. But a second later, the initial shock was replaced with a venomous snarl and the deafening roar of retaliation.
Jax saw the move coming before Akana even thought about cocking his fist. He’d managed to somehow keep his cool earlier when he really wanted to pound this punk into the ground, but hell would freeze over before he ever let anyone lay a hand on Vanessa.
Grabbing the guy’s swinging arm with one hand and clinching him behind the neck with the other, he used Akana’s forward momentum against him, pulling him in hard. Jax’s knee met his sternum, knocking the wind clear out of him and possibly causing some very uncomfortable fractures.
As Akana fell over gasping, trying to catch his breath, Jax turned back to Vanessa, who hadn’t moved. She just stood there, stone still, oblivious to the blood spattered on her dress and coating her hand. Oblivious to the crowd that gathered around them. Her shoulders heaved with shallow breaths and if looks could kill, Akana would be nothing more than a pile of smoking ash.
He was still a little stunned—and frankly a lot proud—that she’d cold cocked the bastard in the first place.
Thankfully security stepped in and, after a brief summary of what happened from a few patrons, they hauled the cocksucker away.
Gently grasping her shoulders, Jax turned her away from her victim to bring her attention to him. “Honey, look at me.” Her body had turned, but her head stayed where it was, her eyes not even focused on the man she bloodied, but probably things from her past only she could see.
With a finger to her chin, he guided her eyes to his. Once they connected, she took in a big rush of air, held it for a few seconds, and released it on a shaky exhale. It was like watching a fighter come to after getting knocked out—for a few brief moments, he’s dazed and confused. Then reality sets in and he realizes what happened in those last seconds.
“Oh my God,” she whispered. “What have I done?”
“You punched a bastard who deserved it.”
She glanced down at her hand, knuckles red and starting to swell, and trembled. “But I d-don’t— I—”
He grabbed her face in his hands and forced her to look into his eyes. “Baby, listen to me. You did nothing wrong. That guy’s a fucking asshole with no respect for women, who said something I wouldn’t say to my worst enemy.” He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her forehead. “He’s a fighter; he’s used to getting hit. What’s really going to hurt in the morning is his ego when the guys find out a female civilian is the one who busted his face.”
He gave her a wicked grin. “It might be worth showing up for training in the morning just to watch him shrink like a violet when you walk through the door.”
A laugh escaped her lips. It was weak, but he’d take it. Anything other than that look of fear and shame in her beautiful eyes. Tucking her into his side, he led her away from the crowd to where he’d parked his Jeep.
She was quiet on the drive, staring up at the night sky as though contemplating the stars in the universe. But he knew her better than that by now. She was trying to wrap her mind around what happened. Trying to rationalize her actions and probably holding them up against her rules or even creating new ones as a result. Either way, he left her to it. She hadn’t completely closed off from him as she allowed him to hold her uninjured hand, so he was content with that much for now.
As soon as he got her into their bungalow, he directed her to sit on the couch while going to the kitchen for the first-aid kit under the sink. He grabbed the ice pack, broke the seal, and shook the contents on his way over to his gym bag, where he grabbed one of his blue hand wraps. “Apparently they should call you Red Viper in and out of the courtroom. That jab was lightning fast, woman. Remind me to never piss you off.”
Sitting next to her, he picked up her injured hand and slowly helped her to straighten her fingers. She hissed in a quick breath then stole a glance at him through her lashes as a slight flush tinged her pale cheeks. He hated that she felt she couldn’t show any weakness around him. It made it damn hard for a man to take care of a woman who kept trying to prove she didn’t need him.
He carefully checked her range of motion and strength while she gritted her teeth against the pain. When his inspection was done, he gingerly set the ice pack on her bruised knuckles and began securing it with the wrap.
“You’re lucky,” he said, giving her a reassuring smile. “I don’t think anything is broken, but it’ll be sore as hell for a while. The good news is it’ll turn a different shade every day for about a week, so you’ll have plenty of opportunities to color coordinate your accessories or handbags or whatever you girls do.”
She started to laugh, but it got off with a wince that she then tried pawning off as a blink.
“You know, it’s okay to show me that
it hurts,” he said. “You don’t always have to be so strong.”
Exhaling and letting her shoulders relax, she trained her eyes on her hand, focusing on his movements as he wrapped it. “It’s just… I’ve never…” She shook her head. Either she was unable to put her thoughts into words or couldn’t bring herself to say them aloud.
“I know.” After securing the Velcro, he rested his elbow on the back of the couch and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I get it. You never wanted the violence that touched you as a kid to be a part of your life as an adult. But, V, just because you punched some asshole doesn’t mean you are a violent person.”
She made a sound that said she clearly didn’t agree. “Just a person with violent tendencies, right?”
He stood up and held out his hand. “Let’s go for a walk.”
“I don’t feel like going for a walk.”
“Sand between your toes and the ocean breeze on your skin will do you some good. You’ll feel better afterward, I promise.” Her eyes moved to the bedroom, clearly wanting to bury herself and her worries with the promise of sleep. But she needed to stop burying her past behind her rules. She needed to deal with it. At least a little. “Come on, Red, don’t leave me hangin’.”
Vanessa let out a resigned sigh and gave him her left hand to help pull her up. He offered a smile, which she weakly returned, then he led her out of the bungalow to the edge of the water.
He intertwined their fingers as they walked in silence, the warm saltwater rushing over their feet to stretch over the sand before it was forced to retreat and try again. The waning moon hung high in the dark void above them, lighting their way along the beach.
“Ironic, isn’t it?” she asked.
“What’s that?”
“You managed to restrain yourself tonight, and I ended up losing control.”
“I’d say you were in complete control. Not many people could pull off such a solid punch.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” she mumbled.
Spotting a group of large, craggy rocks, he led her away from the surf. Once there, he faced them toward the ocean, settled his hips back against the formation, and positioned her between his legs. She took a deep breath and exhaled, letting her body sink into his. For several minutes they didn’t speak. Just listened to the inky waves rolling over themselves as they raced toward the shore before being pulled back for yet another run.
Jackson slid his hands around her waist, reveling in the easy way she laid her arms over his and let her head fall back on his shoulder. Bending his head, he used his chin to push her hair to the side and nuzzled the smooth skin of her neck. Though he still felt the sadness that held her in its grasp, she at least accepted his affection and even returned it to some degree. The idea of her punishing herself for things in her past that she had no control over churned like acid deep in his gut.
He wanted to say something—anything—to take her thoughts away from the one dark spot of their day together. But the only two distractions he was good at when it came to women—joking around and hot sex—weren’t even close to appropriate. So, for now, he figured it was best to just hold her and let her take the lead on any conversation.
Another few minutes passed, but eventually she broke the silence. “My sister would love it out here. I’d always been perfectly content with city life, but Kat hated it. She liked to read books like Anne of Green Gables or The Chronicles of Narnia. It didn’t matter if the fiction was based in reality or fantasy. As long as she could imagine herself on a farm or in faraway lands, she was happy.”
“Where is she now?”
“I don’t know exactly. Last time I talked to her she was somewhere near Memphis, Tennessee. She might still be there, but chances are Lenny probably burned all of his bridges by now so they would’ve had to move to a different city. Again.”
“Lenny her boyfriend?” She nodded. “You don’t sound too thrilled about him.”
“He’s not anyone I’d want dating someone I care for, much less my sister, but he did get her out of my mom’s house a year earlier than she could have. Regardless of the fact she was only seventeen and it was illegal for her to leave home, she was still better off with Lenny the Loser.”
Jackson thought about how he’d have felt if some guy had swept Lucie off at the tender age of seventeen. The very idea made him violent. No way would he ever be down with that. Hell, it’d been hard enough to swallow the news of her dating Reid, and they’d been like brothers their whole lives.
“Okay, so Kat leaves home with Lenny at seventeen. Then what? Where’d they go?”
“All over the place. He’s made a career out of taking advantage of his friends or his friends’ friends. Kat usually picks up any odd job to get them by and Lenny starts to run whatever his latest racket is to get rich quick. But he always ends up screwing over the wrong people, and they have to pick up and move to a new city to start all over again.”
“Is she happy with him?”
Vanessa’s cynical laugh dropped in front of them like a dead weight. “No. At least not for several years now. But she’d never tell me that. She’s too proud to tell me anything that isn’t positive or necessary. I’ve tried to convince her to come live with me, but she won’t. She thinks I’ll see her as a huge screwup. I’ve tried assuring her I could never judge her when it isn’t even her fault, but it never makes a difference. She’s as stubborn as our mother.”
He placed a kiss on her cheek. “Sounds like someone else I know.”
She turned in his arms, placed her hands on his hips, and gave him a sly smile. “If you think you have me so figured out,” she said in a sultry voice, “why don’t you tell me what I’m thinking right now.”
She was switching the topic to sex for reasons that had nothing to do with being horny. He saw it for what it was: a defense mechanism. He’d seen other women do the same thing before, and he’d only been too willing to follow their lead. Who was he to force them to discuss something they didn’t want to?
But Vanessa was different. She wasn’t just some girl. With every hour he spent with her, he realized more and more just how much she meant to him. And he’d rather deal with permanent blue balls than ignore her pain for a quick fuck.
As she stretched up on her tiptoes to kiss him, he laid his hands on her shoulders to stop her. She furrowed her brow.
“What happened to your sister…,” he began in a gentle tone. “No matter what you think, it’s not your fault.”
“Ummm, o-kay,” she answered sarcastically. “I don’t know if you missed it or what, but I was trying to come on to you just now.”
Not a smile, not a wink. He wouldn’t react to her playful attempts. He wouldn’t help her bury her feelings. “Honey, listen to me. It’s not. Your. Fault.”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“I know.”
“Then why are you pushing something you know nothing about?”
She took a step back, trying to extricate herself from his grasp, but he wasn’t making it that easy. He circled one arm around her back and shoved his free hand through the mass of curls to cradle the back of her head.
“There’s a lot of shit I don’t know in this world, but this,” he said with emphasis, “this I do know.”
Tears filled her eyes and a single drop slipped over the edge. In the moonlight it shone like a fluid crystal trailing over her cheek. She shook her head slightly, still trying to deny his claim. “Jackson, please…don’t…”
“Do you have any idea how amazing I think you are? You practically raised her when you were a child yourself. You protected her, sheltered her, from as much as you could while growing up in conditions no child should ever experience.”
“I know,” she said, her voice trembling, “but I…”
“Made her into a strong, proud, self-sufficient woman. She might not have the life you want for her right now, but that doesn’t mean she won’t eventually.”
Releasing a sha
ky exhale, Vanessa curled into him, resting her forehead on his chest. He rubbed her back slowly, up and down, letting her work through her emotions as they inevitably flooded to the surface. When she spoke again it was soft, almost muffled against his shirt, but not enough that he couldn’t hear what she said or the anguish behind her words.
“I’m just so worried about her all the time, and…” She sniffed back her tears, sighed, and raised her eyes to his once again. “I miss her so damn much.”
“I know you do, baby.” Framing her face, he gently kissed away the new tears streaming from her moonlit eyes then wrapped her in his embrace again. “I know you do.”
For several minutes he just held her as she cried. He rested his cheek on the top of her silky hair and ran a hand over her back, soothing her as best he could. When she at last seemed like she’d worked through the worst of it, he pulled away and said, “Let’s go back to the room and get you taken care of.”
She didn’t object to his coddling like he expected. Exhaustion lined her face, and she was only too willing to let him lead her around the room as he finished taking care of her hand and instructed her to go through her nightly before-bed routine. When she finished, he humored her by letting her face away from him as he helped her into her pajamas, since her hand was too sore to do certain parts.
Once she was all set for bed, he sat on the couch and let her lay down with her head in his lap while they watched the old eighties movie Say Anything on the local cable channel. He idly played with her hair while Lloyd Dobler tried desperately to impress the girl of his dreams, Diane Court. By the time Lloyd thoughtfully pointed out broken glass for Diane to step around, Vanessa was sound asleep with one hand tucked under her cheek and the other resting on his thigh.
After covering her with the lightweight blanket he’d set off to the side, Jackson settled in to watch the rest of the movie while making plans for his last official day with her. If all went according to plan, tomorrow would be just the beginning.