“You two dated.” It wasn’t a question. It was a damn good guess, one that explained why the sweet woman bothered her. She was competition.
“A couple of years ago.” Jillian glanced at her in the mirror and then refocused on her task of curling the bottom sections of hair. “We weren’t serious or anything. More like a friends-with-benefits thing. In fact, in all the years I’ve known him, I’ve never seen Jax get serious about anyone.”
Ouch. That smacked of truth with a hint of he warned you sprinkled on top.
“Until you.”
Vanessa’s eyes snapped up to the mirror. “I’m sorry?” Hell, now she was apologizing in the form of a question. She sounded like a broken record.
“He tried finding you yesterday, and then when you didn’t show up for the rehearsal he came over.” This time when she smiled, it was more sympathetic in nature. “No need to throw darts with your eyes, sweetie. He came over to talk to me and my husband.” She held up her left hand and wiggled her ring finger with the wedding band on it.
“Ugh, I’m sorry— Shit! There I go again.” She released a frustrated huff and pushed in on her temples where the pain was settling in. “If I never have to say that word again, it’ll be too soon.”
Jillian chuckled and grabbed another section of curls to straighten. “Don’t worry about it. I can understand why you’d be a bit territorial about him.” Chocolate brown eyes met her gaze, all hints of play falling away. “He’s a really great guy. I know you’re upset with him, and truthfully, you have the right. But he’s not normally a dishonest person, and I think you should at least give him the opportunity to make it right.”
“I appreciate your concern, Jillian, but there’s nothing to correct. Even his lie aside, Jackson and I made an agreement for three days with no strings. It was fun, but now it’s over. And I’d rather not talk about it anymore.”
The woman gave her shoulder a light squeeze as if to say, I understand, then finished Vanessa’s hair and makeup in silence, leaving her to her thoughts that had no intentions of following Jillian’s example.
Jackson Maris seemed to be a permanent fixture in her mind. What was that saying Fritz always had? I’d rather have a bottle in front o’ me than a frontal lobotomy. At this point, if it would rid her of the memories of the past week, Vanessa would take either.
Eventually, Robért and Jillian finished with their hair and makeup and packed their things up.
“O-kay,” Robért said at the door, “I’m going to check on things, but Jillian will be right outside if you need anything. The next time I see you, it’ll be to collect you for the ceremony, so get dressed, have some champagne, and relax.”
Lucie hugged the planner. “Thank you so much, Robért.”
Once the door closed, Vanessa turned to study Lucie in her wedding gown. “You look like Cinderella, Lucie.”
The strapless Grecian-style sheath flowed to the floor like a chiffon waterfall. Intricate beading trimmed the sweetheart neckline and the sweep train added a princess touch. Her dark brown hair fell in soft curls around her shoulders with an aqua hibiscus hair comb holding one side back. Robért had done an excellent job with her makeup, using subtle tones to accentuate Lucie’s natural beauty and highlighting her dove gray eyes.
“Really?” Lucie asked.
Vanessa offered her friend a reassuring smile and blinked back the moisture blurring her vision. “A more beautiful bride never existed. You look exquisite, honey. Truly.”
Lucie beamed but then faltered. Pressing a hand to her stomach she said, “Oh, God, I think I’m going to be sick. I don’t know if I can do this.”
Oh, shit. Lucie and Reid were perfect together. If she didn’t believe in love, what hope was there for the rest of the world? Namely me.
“Come sit over here,” she said, leading the pale bride to the fancy settee. Once she was sure Lucie wasn’t about to faint, Vanessa crossed to the sideboard table where the opened champagne was chilling in a bucket of ice and poured them each a glass. “Every bride gets cold feet, honey, but you’re going to be fine, I promise.”
Lucie accepted the glass and downed the contents. “What? I’m not nervous about marrying Reid. I love him more than anything in the world.”
“I should probably cut you off after that, but since when have I ever been the voice of reason in this relationship?” She handed Lucie her champagne, too, and went to find her garment bag. “So what is it you don’t think you can do?”
“Walk down the aisle in this gorgeous gown with everyone staring at me! Have you forgotten how klutzy I am and how much I hate being the center of attention? There’s no way I’m not falling flat on my face. None.”
“Damn it, Lucie, don’t scare me like that,” she said as she extracted her dress and went through the careful process of getting it on without messing up Jilli’s hard work. “When you walk, gather a handful of your dress and hold it up so you don’t step on the front. Plus, you’ll have Fritz to hold you steady.”
“If you say so.” Down went the second glass.
Vanessa asked Lucie to zip her up and then checked herself in the mirror. The deep aqua chiffon dress ended at her knees in an asymmetrical hemline, and the strapless ruched bust drew the eye nicely to one of her better assets. Her hair was styled the same as Lucie’s, but Jillian had had to straighten her tighter curls before making them into the large, soft ones they were now.
“Okay,” she said, turning to face Lucie. “I guess we’re ready.”
Lucie stared pointedly at the spot below her clavicle. Then up at her eyes. Then down. Then back up.
“Luce, why are you looking at me like that?”
“Jackson mentioned he’d given you a necklace, so…”
“Oh, yeah, um…” She busied herself smoothing the front of her dress so she wouldn’t caress the place on her skin that felt bare ever since she’d taken it off two nights ago. “I figured it wasn’t part of the ensemble, so…we should probably go, huh?”
Which meant she’d be seeing Jackson very soon, and she was as sure as she was of her name that she’d want to wrap her arms around him and let him hold her until…until when? Tomorrow morning? When she left to go back home? The next time he decided to deck a guy because he said something Jax didn’t like?
No matter what, their separation was inevitable. Prolonging it and giving her time to fall even more in love with him was the worst idea ever. And yet, the idea of seeing him and not walking into his arms made her physically ill.
“You love him, don’t you?”
She put a hand to her forehead and nodded. “God, I never meant to, Lucie, I swear. I thought… Hell, I don’t know what I thought.”
“He looked everywhere for you yesterday. He’s a wreck, Ness. I’ve never seen him like this. You two should talk.”
“I need a drink,” she said as she quickly crossed the room, then, since Lucie had both glasses, lifted the bottle to her mouth and drank until the bubbles made her eyes water. “Lucie, I’m not feeling so hot. Would you totally and completely hate me if I excused myself after the ceremony?”
Vanessa felt like a schmuck for even asking. This was her best friend’s wedding and she wanted to help make it the most wonderful and memorable day of Lucie’s life. Being near him would be hard but not impossible. But the thought of dancing with Jackson, of being so intimately close…
Dancing is no different than sex. It’s all about moving with your partner. Finding a rhythm together.
She’d never survive it.
Lucie joined her at the sideboard table and held out the two glasses. Vanessa refilled them and reluctantly set the bottle back in the ice bucket to take the flute thrust at her.
“I know this is going to be difficult, but you can’t leave, Nessie. Stay at least through dinner, okay? And if after that you still don’t want to stay for the dance, I’ll understand if you leave. Okay?”
With as bright a smile as she could muster, Vanessa said, “Okay, let’s go get you hitched.
” Then she raised her glass and said, “Salut, my friend.”
Joining in on their time-honored drinking tradition, Lucie raised her glass and clinked it against Vanessa’s. “Salut, Nessie.”
As they tossed back their last glasses of champagne, Vanessa saw a glimmer of something oddly secretive in Lucie’s smile.
…
“Jax, the groom is typically the nervous one at a wedding. If you don’t stop pacing, you’re going to wear a path to the bottom of the island.”
Jackson threw a dirty look in Reid’s direction but didn’t stop his brisk walk back and forth across the room where they’d gotten dressed. His friend’s placid disposition as he lounged on the couch was enough to aggravate him—he didn’t need his smartass comments, too.
It was driving him insane that mere drywall was all that separated him from Vanessa in the next room. He hated waiting to see her, to tell her the things that had been like bullhorns in his mind for the last thirty-six hours. But he’d promised both Reid and Lucie he’d keep himself in check until after the wedding. That way, if things went badly, it wouldn’t affect the ceremony.
The last thing he wanted to do was ruin his baby sister’s big day. But the next to last thing he wanted was to let Vanessa run from what they had together. Because that’s what she was doing. He’d had a lot of time to think about things since she got into that cab and seemingly disappeared off the face of the damn island.
He had no doubt the deception bothered her, but he did doubt that it was the main reason for her avoidance. When her sister called, everything from the past—the pain, the fear, the guilt—came rushing back from the dark place she’d buried it. And with the reminder of the past came the reminder of why she’d created her rules and why she needed to keep them.
Jax was certain Vanessa loved him. She’d admitted as much when she told him he’d caused her to break Rule #1. But even without that, he’d never been more sure of anything. They fit together, made sense together. As cliché as it sounded, they completed each other.
So now it was up to him to prove how much he loved her in a way he hoped would speak to her.
Reid stood and stepped in Jackson’s path. His casual wedding attire of white linen pants and shirt matched his composure. Not even a hint of unease marked the man’s face. This was a man who trusted in his love and the love of his bride. As much as Jax loved them both, a pang of jealousy twisted deep in his gut. Jax wished he could be as trusting, but right now things were a mess.
Reid clapped a hand on his shoulder and asked, “Got the rings, bro?”
Jax put his hand in the pocket of his pants and felt the cool metal of both rings. He nodded.
“Good,” Reid said. “And how ’bout your best man speech?”
Sticking his hand in the other pocket, he almost shit himself when he came up empty. Then he remembered he’d moved it. Touching the breast pocket of his aqua shirt, he felt the outline of the folded sheet of paper and told himself to calm the fuck down. “Yeah,” he said, his voice sounding strained. “Got it.”
“Then relax. Everything’ll work out. I got your back, all right?”
Jax inclined his head once.
A knock at the door announced Jilli before she entered, all smiles as usual. “Well, don’t you boys clean up nicely. Looking good, Jackie.”
“Jackie?” Reid said with a hitch of his brow.
Jax cut him a death look. “Don’t even think about it. You can still get married with a black eye.”
“It would totally be worth it, but Luce will kill me if I ruin the pictures, so you’re safe. For now,” he added with a smirk.
“Asshole.”
Jilli held the door open wide. “Come on, children, time to take your places.”
Reid turned to Jax and with nothing more than a look, they said more things in three seconds than most women could say in three hours.
Thanks for always being there for me.
No problem, you’ve done the same for me.
I love your sister, man, I’ll do whatever it takes to make her happy.
I know you do, and I know you will. Plus, if you don’t, I’ll break your fucking legs.
Fair enough.
Then let’s do this.
Hell yeah.
Reid walked out first. Jax followed but paused when he reached Jilli. He knew she’d seen Vanessa. He wanted to ask her how she was doing, if she was okay, if she said anything about him…but he knew that if he let himself start, it would be a slippery slope.
She seemed to read his thoughts. Rising on her toes, she gave him a big hug that helped to somewhat calm his nerves. Then she kissed his cheek, pulled back, and said, “Good luck, Jackie.”
“Thanks, girl. Let’s hope I don’t need it.”
Jax walked down the hall, his heart tugging in his chest as he passed the bridal suite like a magnet being pulled to its other half. Clenching his fists, he forced himself to keep moving. To distract himself, he counted his steps. Forty-three to the exit. Twenty-two across the outdoor lounge area. And one hundred and seventy-one to the elegant setup for the beach ceremony and reception where the small group of guests mingled.
An aisle of smoothed sand, bordered by lit Tiki torches strung together with more white netting, bisected the two groupings of six chairs. Blue and aqua sea glass pebbles were scattered along the edges in lieu of the typical rose petals that would just blow away in the ocean breeze. Reid stood at the front, speaking with the minister beneath an archway made from aqua and white netting draped among four wooden posts. Beyond them the setting sun was just beginning to inject the sky with pale shades of lavender and coral as the sea lapped lazily at the shore.
This was what his sister deserved: a wedding in paradise.
Just like Vanessa deserved to expect a hell of a lot more from a relationship than following her rules, half of which ensured she didn’t date an asshole and the other half protecting her even if she did.
He understood why she’d created the rules—and he supposed they made sense to an extent and had served her well up to this point. But now she’d outgrown them and it was time she realized that she’d be okay without them.
Jax greeted the few guests he knew and introduced himself to the few he didn’t until finally Robért shooed him into his place next to Reid.
The violinist was cued.
Reid and the minister stood at attention.
A hush fell over the guests as they turned in their seats.
Jax straightened…and lost his breath.
Vanessa. Her name whispered through his mind like a silent prayer as she glided in slow motion toward him. Words probably existed to describe her beauty but not in his vocabulary. Exquisite, flawless, timeless…none of those even came close.
She smiled at her friends Eric and Kyle—decent guys he’d heard a lot about over the years from his sister—and rolled her eyes when they blew kisses in her direction. Finally, she reached the end, putting her within reaching distance. His body vibrated with the need to touch her, to hold her, but he held firm, doing nothing more than praying she’d look in his direction. But she didn’t. She greeted Reid with a quick hug and kiss on the cheek…then turned and took her place on the other side without ever acknowledging his presence.
He’d expected her rebuff, but that didn’t make it sting any less.
The sound of muffled gasps brought his attention to the back once again as Lucie appeared on the arm of her grizzled father-figure Fritz. She’d originally asked Jax to walk her down the aisle, but he casually suggested she ask Fritz, saying the man was getting on in years and it would probably mean a hell of a lot to him since he thought of Lucie and Vanessa as his second and third daughters.
In reality, Jax knew he’d be a jacked-up mess if he had to be the one to give her away. The moment she asked, he knew what every father in the world must feel like. No matter how much you approve of or like the guy she’s marrying, everything in you wants to throw her over your shoulder and haul her ass back to he
r bedroom and ground her for life. So for her sake, he was trying to focus on being the best man, because the best man’s main concerns were not losing the rings and getting drunk at the reception. Way easier.
Though he tried to keep himself in that juvenile mentality, Jax’s heart swelled with pride and love as his baby sister walked toward her future. He’d never seen her more beautiful or more sure of herself. The moment her gaze collided with Reid’s was almost palpable. The rest of them could disappear in a puff of smoke and neither would notice.
Once they reached the archway, Reid held out his hand to accept his bride’s, only the old man wasn’t giving it up so easily.
Reid quirked a brow. “Fritz?”
Narrowing his eyes, the old man spoke so only those standing at the front could hear. “You ever break this girl’s heart, Andrews, and I’ll serve your balls to my one-eyed bulldog for breakfast.”
Reid leaned in slightly. “If I ever break her heart, I’ll serve them to Willy myself.”
Fritz nodded with a satisfied grunt before turning to face Lucie. His weathered skin melted into a mask of wrinkles as he beamed with pride. She returned his smile, kissed him on the cheek, and let him place her hand in Reid’s with a firm pat of approval.
Jax drank in the sight of his sister, overflowing with happiness and love for the man who was a friend by blood but a brother by bond. When their parents died, Jax had doubted more often than not that he’d see this day. A day when he no longer had to worry about failing her. That despite the fact he’d had no idea how to raise a teenage girl, she’d managed to come through the other side a well-adjusted, amazing woman. And if anyone could continue to love and take care of her as he’d done, it was Reid. She was in good hands.
Knowing that, it left Jax free to think about his own future. As the minister talked about the usual wedding stuff in the background, Jax studied the maid of honor.
Her eyes were trained on the minister. She appeared to be listening intently with a sweet grin on her face. But Jax knew better. Her eyes were unfocused. Her body was tense, grasping her bouquet in front of her like a shield, and the lines of her smile were tight, forced.