And I was sitting in my bedroom and pouting like a little girl. I tossed aside the pillow and climbed off the bed. The house was magnificent, more beautiful than any place I'd ever been. All of my friends were downstairs and the ski slopes were calling to me. I'd been in sore need of a weekend of fun, and I wasn't going to hide out in the bedroom for three days. I walked into the bathroom, an elegantly appointed room where the fixtures alone were probably worth more than everything I owned put together.
I checked my makeup in the mirror and then chided myself for giving a damn how I looked. I was here to take a breather from work stress, not to worry that my mascara was smudged. A few days of snowboarding and laughing with my friends would do the trick. It was nice to get away from the city, and it was extra nice to be able to wear some winter clothes for a change. It seemed my sweaters saw less and less daylight with each passing year. I was glad to have a reason to free them from the dresser drawers.
I took a deep breath and headed through the bedroom to the door. It seemed the voices downstairs had gotten louder. While I couldn't make out the words, there was some agitation in the tone.
I pulled open the door and sucked in a shocked breath. Clutch stood in the hallway with his knuckles lifted as if he was just in the process of knocking. It was so rare to see Clutch speechless or uneasy, it almost seemed as if I was looking at a mirage.
He found his words first. "I can go to Reno and take a flight home if you want."
I blinked up at him, still unable to catch my breath. It was the closest we'd stood together in weeks.
"I don't want to ruin your weekend," he continued. My silence seemed to be making him more uneasy.
"No," I said abruptly. "No, you don't need to leave." I glanced down the long hallway. "It's a big house. I'm sure we can manage to stay out of each other's way."
The voices downstairs grew louder.
Clutch was wearing the black sweater I’d bought him last winter. It was the perfect complement to his coloring. He looked so incredible, it was all I could do to not jump directly into his arms and tell him how much I missed him.
"How is business? Scottie mentioned that you finalized the contract with Bridal World."
"Yes, it's a done deal. Took a lot of long nights, and . . ." I held up my hand. "I chewed off some nails in the process. But it all worked out. How is your business?" We were standing and making small talk as if we were just two acquaintances who hadn't seen each other in a few years. Still, it was better than trying to dance around and avoid each other for the weekend.
"Business is good. I sold that GTO for big bucks." His face always lit up when he was talking about his cars. I realized how badly I missed seeing that enthusiasm.
"You mean the rusty car carcass? Seems to me I should have gotten a thank you note about that sale. As I recall, I had a hand in that one."
Clutch paused and gazed down at me with an expression that seemed to have a million words behind it. But his response was cut short by footsteps and Cassie's indignant tone. "What a bunch of buttheads." Scotlyn and Finley followed close at her heels. They all stopped as if frozen to the spot when they saw Clutch standing at my door.
"We were just heading back downstairs," Scotlyn said hastily, A comical excuse considering, they'd just climbed them.
"No, I'm just leaving." Clutch nodded my direction and brushed past the three women.
"Sorry about that, Taylor." Cassie came toward me. "I hadn't even noticed that he slipped away." She laughed. "Not sure how that's possible since he takes up so much damn space, but—" She cut her sentence short and took hold of my hands. "Is everything all right?"
I shrugged and swallowed back the lump in my throat. "Everything's fine. What's happening? You three tromped up the stairs as if you were on some special mission."
"We are on a mission to gather up the rest of our team. Which is you." Scotlyn's expression softened. "That is, if you aren't too mad at us. We only found out last night that Clutch was coming. But we were all too selfish to tell you because we really wanted you to go."
"That's fine. I'm not mad. And I'm equally glad to be a part of the team."
"Perfect. Get this," Cassie interjected as she pulled me into my room. Scotlyn and Finley followed. "The boys thought they were going to head off to the slopes while we ran errands to get food and supplies."
"They figured we were going to cook too," Finley added.
Scotlyn picked up my scarf and tried it on. "We figured we'd go get something to eat and then do a little snowboarding. Without the men. Are you in?" She glanced back toward the door where Clutch had been standing just seconds before. "Or maybe you'd prefer to stick around."
I walked to my bag to find my snowboarding pants. "No, I'm in. So it's women versus men, eh?"
"Something like that," Cassie said.
"Too bad we don't have any tape," Finley laughed. "One summer, my dad was on tour. My brothers and I were left in the care of a really weird nanny who spent most of her time watching soap operas and making long distance calls to Bolivia. Jude was being his usual bossy self and Cole, well he was just being Cole, which, in itself, can be quite annoying. After a week, I'd had it with them. I ran a long piece of tape down the hallway, down the stairs and into the kitchen. I told them they had to stay on their side of the tape. My side had the refrigerator and microwave, so it didn't last long."
"Darn, now I wish we had tape," Cassie complained. "Anyhow, we have our own car, and this is a huge house. No reason why we can't go right on with a cool girls' weekend. And we'll make the men take us a little less for granted while we're having fun."
Twenty-One
Clutch
Even through scratched up snow goggles, it was easy to see how Heavenly Valley got its name. With the surrounding mountains coated in snow and the dark blue lake sitting in the midst of it all, it had to be one of the most beautiful places on Earth. The white hill ahead of us was dotted with skiers and snowboarders. It had been a year since I'd strapped on my snowboard, and I was looking forward to it. Nix and Rett were on the lift ahead of us.
Dray pointed up at the line above our heads. "I heard they turn this into a zipline in summer. That'd be cool just coasting down to the lake." He tilted the narrow seat some as he looked back. "All four of the women climbed onto the same lift chair." He sat forward.
The women had wrapped themselves up in their snow gear and piled into Cassie's car without a word. We all ended up in the lift line at the same time. "Guess it was easy for them to fit since they don't have Gigantor with them," Dray continued. "Still can't believe they got so pissed off when we asked them to buy groceries."
"Maybe they thought this was their vacation too." On the long drive, I'd worried that I was going to have a lousy time because everyone else would be part of a couple. But now it seemed, everyone had parted from their respective partner. The women seemed determined to have a good time on their own. It was a good thing that Nicky King's mountain chalet turned out to be the size of a small hotel. The eight of us in a cramped log cabin might have been a little tense.
I knew almost the second Nix suggested the women go to the store while we went snowboarding that things were going to turn sour. I'd used the heated discussion that followed his controversial suggestion as my chance to slip upstairs and see Taylor. Her expression had mirrored the same shock I felt when I saw her walk out onto the porch. I figured if she was uncomfortable with my presence, I could just fly back home. I was relieved as hell when she said I should stay. I wasn't sure how I would have felt if she'd told me to go home, but I was glad I wasn't going to find that out. Standing just inches from her brought back all the hurt I'd been feeling these past few weeks. There were so many times when Taylor had done shit to piss me off or get my attention, that I'd tried to convince myself that my life would be easier without her. But these last few weeks proved that I'd been lying to myself. It wasn't easier. Hell, it wasn't even a life without Taylor.
"Sure hope I remember how to do this," D
ray said. "It's been awhile."
"It's like riding a bike. Might take some time to get the hang of it, but you never forget once you've learned."
Dray leaned over the side. "Shit, this thing goes up high. When I was a little kid, I was scared to death of heights. I'd even get shaky on the escalator at the mall."
"Really? The guy who feels no pain and who wouldn't think twice about walking into a fight where he was outnumbered three to one was afraid of the escalator ride at the mall?" I laughed. "And I thought I knew everything about you."
"Not everything. I like to keep an air of mystery around me." He elbowed me sharply. "But same goes for you, my big, usually cool friend. I never thought anyone, not even Taylor, could knock you off your game. But I was wrong."
"What game?"
He waved his hand in front of me. "This game. The big, unflappable Clutch game."
"I'm not off my game."
"You, buddy, are way off your game."
"I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"Nix, how the fuck did I get stuck with this guy?" I yelled to the chair in front of us. Nix waved without looking back.
"Look, I'm not saying it to piss you off," Dray continued. Since my only way out was thirty feet down, I had no choice but to listen. "I just know the look you're wearing."
"I'm wearing snow gear and a beanie, but there's no look." I looked over at him. "You do realize that I could pick you up and drop you off this thing without even breaking a sweat."
"Yep, I realize that and yet, I'm moving on with my explanation. Besides, you love me like a brother, remember?"
"You mean like my brother, Quinn, who used to take pleasure in giving Rett and me bruises? Yeah, I guess I do love you like that."
Dray waved his glove to tell me to shut up and listen. "I know the look because after Cassie left me, I saw it every time I looked at my reflection in the mirror. It was subtle but it was there. I'm seeing the same thing in your face. You miss that ridiculous little copper haired goof and you know it."
"Never said I didn't. But I'm not off my game so fuck you."
The lift chair swung back and forth as he leaned back. "Not saying another word except, yeah, you are, and that's all right."
I stared over at him. Sometimes I wondered why the heck I remained friends with the guy. Then he came up with something like the look and fuck, if he wasn't right about it. The solid connection I had with both Nix and Dray was unbreakable. No matter how annoying Dray could be, he was right. I loved him like a brother. For all of us, our families' shortcomings were mended by clinging to the one thing we could count on. Each other.
Rett and Nix stepped off the lift. Dray and I caught up to them to finish strapping in our second foot. I heard Taylor's laugh behind us, a sound that I could recognize from any distance and no matter how much other noise was around me.
I glanced back at the lift. Taylor had pulled a blue beanie low over her head. Her bright white smile flashed under her goggles. Even hidden beneath puffy snow gear, she looked adorable. I didn't just miss her. Like Dray had so annoyingly pointed out, I was off my game without her. I needed her in my life. But did she need me?
Twenty-Two
Taylor
"Oooh," Cassie moaned as she leaned over on the bench to take her feet out of the bindings. "Forgot how much exercise snowboarding was. I might wake up tomorrow crumpled in a tight ball of pain."
"Some aspirin and a good soak in the hot tub should help."
Cassie straightened. "Thanks, Nurse Scottie."
"Wish we were in the hot tub right now." Finley rubbed her glove covered hands together. "I think living down south is turning us into softies. I'm freezing my butt off out here. Let's go inside for a hot drink."
I glanced up toward the top of the hill where the lift was continuously dropping off its live cargo. Not surprisingly, the fresh snow had brought in a huge crowd. And with the state's southern ski resorts still having to rely on manmade snow, Tahoe's slopes were swarming with skiers and snowboarders of every skill level.
Lights were popping on all over the hillside as the shadows of dusk fell over the mountain range, but even in the uneven light, I could still pick out Clutch from the crowd. His black beanie stood up above every other head.
We carried our boards over to the rack. Cassie stopped. "This is Dray's. I recognize the big scratch he made on it when he was trying to put the boards in the attic." She looked up toward the slopes. "I thought he was still up there. Wimp."
We walked inside the lodge. The temperature difference was a stark reminder of just how darn cold it was outside. The crush of bodies and loud conversations along with the flaming hearths only added to the almost stifling heat.
I unzipped my coat and pulled of my beanie. "It's like going from Saturn to Venus." We stretched up to look around for an empty table. The place was packed tight. There was hardly an empty chair in sight. Rett's light blond hair caught my eye. Nix, Dray and Rett had managed to snag a table right at the window. There were empty chairs between them.
"I see the guys. They are over there by the window." I hopped up on tiptoes. "Eating burgers and looking warm, cozy and rested."
Cassie snorted. "I'll bet they've been sitting in here for hours."
"Well, they've got empty chairs, and I don't relish the idea of wedging myself in between people standing at the bar. So let's swallow our pride a bit, and—" Scottie was off skirting through the maze of tables before she could finish. We trudged behind her.
The men looked casually up from their basket of fries. Dray picked one up and nibbled it as he nodded a hello. "Look who's here, guys. Having trouble finding a table?"
"So you took one run down the mountain and headed straight in for burgers?" Scotlyn asked.
Nix looked around at his buddies. "It was two runs, right? We were hungry."
Rett pushed out a chair with his foot. "Have a seat, girls. We don't mind sharing our table."
Cassie looked at the rest of us. "Why does it seem that taking their offer is going to be like signing a pact with the devil?"
Behind us, chairs scraped the floor at the next table. "We're leaving if you need a table?" the man mentioned as he picked up his trash.
"Oh perfect," Finley answered. "Thank you very much." We flashed sweet smiles at the guys and took seats at the adjacent table.
"That's fine. We weren't willing to share our fries with you anyhow," Dray's voice arced over to our table.
"We'll try to live with the disappointment," Cassie fired back. She pointed at the menu. "I've heard that their minestrone soup is delicious, and most importantly, it comes with a basket of bread."
I dropped my menu. "You said the magic word. I'm in."
We ordered a round of soup and continued with our conversations as if the men sitting at the next table were strangers. They worked hard to ignore us, but now and then a comment or a sugar packet would come our way. Rett even moved on to blowing the paper off his straw our direction.
"Don't know about you three," Scotlyn said, "but it's starting to feel like high school around here. Do you think we've given them the cold shoulder long enough? I don't look forward to climbing into a bed alone tonight when the temperature outside is thirty."
"You have a point," Finley said. "Rett usually complains about it, but when I climb into bed, I shove my cold feet under his to warm them up. Tonight, I'll have to double up on socks just to avoid frostbite."
The turn in conversation was dampening my spirits. It wasn't intentional, of course. Clutch and I had been together long enough that it was easy to forget that we'd separated. Cassie was the first to notice my mood change.
She reached over and squeezed my hand. "Hey, team, why do I feel a mutiny in the works. And all for the sake of warm feet?" She glanced back to make sure the men weren't listening too closely, which they were.
Cassie leaned in and lowered her voice. "I say once we head back to the house, we slip on our bikinis, heat up big mugs of cocoa, preferably laced
with a bit of whiskey, and soak in the hot tub. It'll drive them nuts, and it's the best way to make our final point. Then we can use them for feet warming and whatever else suits our fancy."
"Sounds like a solid plan." Finley glanced back toward the kitchen. "Where's that bread? I'm starved."
We sipped hot tea and waited for the much anticipated bread while staring out the massive windows. More and more lights dotted the borders of the ski slopes as the fading sun slowly disappeared behind the mountains. Clutch's easy to spot silhouette was jetting down the mountain. He'd obviously picked up his old skills quickly. It was amazing to see how easily a man his size could maneuver through the other people on the mountain.
"Hey, here comes Jimmy," Rett laughed. "I'll bet if I pick up a French fry and dangle it in the window, his radar will pick it up and he'll crash right through that glass."
We'd been trying to ignore them, but we couldn't stop from laughing. It was unusual to see Clutch outside while his friends were inside shoveling down burgers and fries. I wondered if he was feeling as much a fifth wheel as I was. It was pretty silly to think we were both on vacation but that we weren't there as a couple. It was downright weird.
Clutch's trip down the mountain had pulled our gazes to the window. He cruised down with ease, a line of fluffy powder rooster tailing up behind him as he carved from side to side. Then out of the corner of my eye, I saw a tiny, tottering figure on two tiny skis. Two long braids bounced on the back of the little girl's parka as they jutted out from her helmet. She pushed down on her poles and shot forward, directly into the path of the giant barreling down the mountain.