CHAPTER III
THE FIRST ISSUE OF THE NEWSPAPER
"I'll tell you what, Mrs. Lathrop," said Miss Clegg the next Mondayafternoon, "I ain't goin' to stay here so late but what I go home intime to make Elijah something hot an' comfortin' for supper to-night. Iain't any one to take sides, but I will say that my heart has gone outto that poor young man ever since I was down in the square this mornin'.I felt to be real glad as he'd took to-day to go up to the city, for Imust say I'd of felt more'n a little sorry for him if he'd heard folksexpressin' their opinion about his first paper."
"Did he--" asked Mrs. Lathrop.
"Yes, he went to-day," said Miss Clegg. "He went on the early train an'one of the joys of havin' a man in the house was as I had to be upbright an' early to get him his breakfast. I must say I never thoughtabout his wantin' early breakfast when I agreed to take him, but I'm notone to refuse to feed even a editor, so I cooked him cakes just the sameas I would any one else."
"Why--" asked Mrs. Lathrop.
"Well, I guess maybe he heard things yesterday as made him feel as it'dbe just as well to let folks have time to sizzle down some afore theylooked on his bright an' shinin' face again. I tell you what, Mrs.Lathrop, I can see as runnin' a newspaper ain't an easy thing an' thetown is really so up in arms to-day, that I really would of made wafflesfor Elijah to eat instead of just plain cakes, if I'd knowed when he gotup how mad every one was at him. I can see since I've been down townto-day as the square was n't likely to have been no bed of roses for himyesterday. The whole community is mad as hornets over the paper. Why, Inever see folks so mad over nothin' before. Nobody likes his puttin' hisown name right under the paper's, an' Dr. Brown says the editor belongson the inside, anyhow. Dr. Brown's most _awful_ mad 'cause Elijah's puthis item right in with the advertisement of Lydia Finkham, an' he sayshe ain't nothin' as pretends to cure anythin' or everybody. He says he'sa regular doctor as you have to take regular chances with an' he feelslike suin' Elijah for slander. Gran'ma Mullins is mad, too, 'cause shewas put in the personals an' Elijah went an' called her the 'Nestor ofthe crick,' without never so much as askin' by her leave. She says sheain't never done nothin' with the crick, an' if she ever nested anywhereit was in her own owned an' mortgaged house. Hiram says he'll punchElijah if he ever refers to his mother's nestin' again, an' I guessHiram feels kind of sore over Elijah's talkin' of his mother's nestin'when all the town knows how much he wishes as Lucy'd settle down andnest awhile instead of keepin' 'em all so everlastin'ly churned up. Mrs.Macy told me this mornin' as Lucy's whitewashin' the garret this week;she see the brush goin' 'round an' 'round the window on her side--shesays it makes her bones ache just to live next door to Lucy's ways. Shesays they're so different from Gran'ma Mullins' ways. Gran'ma Mullinshad n't had no whitewashin' done in twenty years--not since she rentedthe cottage of father. That's true an' I know it's true too becauseshe's been askin' an' askin' me to have it done an' I said not by nomeans--so she's left off."
"Did--?" asked Mrs. Lathrop.
"The Jilkinses is real mad over the paper, too," Susan continued. "Seemsas Elijah went an' called 'em the 'Chirpy Cherry Ponders,' an' Mrs.Jilkins says where he got the idea as either of 'em ever chirped intheir lives she cannot conceive, for Mr. Jilkins ain't so much as peepeda good part of the time since they were married an' she says as forbeing chirpy, _she_ looks upon the word as city slang. But Judge Fitchis about the maddest of all! I did n't read what Elijah said about himbut every one else did, an' he says he was willin' to run for congressfor the good of his country, but to put him up in a editorial as sayshe'll be proud to come back from Washington as poor as he goes there, isa very poor way to put heart into any man's contest. He says if he's gotto come back from Washington as poor as he goes he can't see no good an'sufficient reason for goin' a _tall_, for he won't gain nothin' an' willbe out his car fare there an' back. He says he never heard of no onecomin' back from Washington as poor as they went before, an' it was athing as he supposed could n't be done till he found Elijah had bookedhim to do it. He says if that's what he's to up an' teach his country,he don't thank Elijah for advertisin' him as any such novelty an' hesays he won't go to congress on any such terms--not while he knowshimself. Mr. Kimball told me as he spoke to Elijah about it yesterday,an' Elijah said to him as it would be a strong plank for Judge Fitch tostand on in the middle of his platform, but Judge Fitch told Mr. Kimballas he could just tell his nephew frank an' open as that one plank in hisplatform had better be weak an' he'd take care to remember to step overit every time. He said he was just waitin' for a good chance to tellElijah his opinion of him right to his face, an' he said as he shouldgive him to understand as after this he must submit all other planks to_him_ afore he printed 'em. Mr. Kimball says that Judge Fitch said goodgracious him, there would n't be no knowin' what he'd have to live up tonext, if Elijah was n't reined in tighter. Judge Fitch says the old wayis good enough for him when he goes to Washington.
"But that ain't all the trouble there is. Mr. Fisher feels very muchhurt at Elijah's writin' any editorial without consultin' him first. Hesays he told him as he could have give him a motto out of Shakespeareabout layin' on an' dammin' as would have put life in the campaign rightoff at the beginnin'; an' then there's Mrs. Macy as thinks he was awfulmean to call her one as carries weight anywhere; I'm sure I wish Elijahhad let Mrs. Macy alone for she's worse than hornets over that remark ofhis. She says maybe Elijah'll go over two hundred an' fifty hisself someday, an' if he does he'll know as it's no joke. She bu'st her rockerlast night when she read what he said about her, an' she says bu'stin' arocker ought to show better than any words how mad it made her. My, shesays, but she was mad! I told Elijah when he was gettin' up the paper ashe'd better never say nothin' about nobody in it, but Elijah can't helpbeing a man an' very like all men in consequence, an' he said as a paperwas n't nothin' without personal items, an' he thought folks wouldenjoy being dished up tart an' spicy. I told him my views was altogetherdifferent. 'Elijah Doxey,' I says, 'you dish Meadville up tart an' spicyan' we'll all feel to enjoy, but you leave folks here alone.' But hedidn't mind me an' now he's got a lesson as will maybe teach him toleave the armchairs of folks as is payin' for his paper unbu'stedhenceforth."
"Now--?" asked Mrs. Lathrop.
"Oh, we get along pretty well," said Susan; "a man's a man, an' ofcourse any house always is pleasanter without one in it, but I guess ifyou have to have one around Elijah's about as little bother as you couldask. I'm teachin' him to be real orderly in a hurry just by puttin' histhings where he couldn't possibly find 'em if he leaves 'em layin'around. You always can manage pleasantly if you're smart, an' I'm smart.If he don't empty his basin, I don't fill his pitcher; if he's late tomeals, I eat up all as is hot;--oh! there's lots of ways of gettin'along, an' I try 'em all turn an' turn about. If one don't work anotheris sure to, an' if he ever does have a wife it won't be my fault--I knowthat.
"Mr. Kimball asked me this mornin' what I thought of him anyhow. Mr.Kimball says as Elijah says as he personally thinks this year is sent tofit him for suthin' demandin' backbone, an' so he'd ought to be resignedto anythin'. That didn't sound just polite to me to my order of thinkin'an' Gran'ma Mullins come back just then an' broke in an' said if Elijahwas resigned she wasn't, an' she hoped he'd never come her way any morewhen he was out pickin' up items."
"Is any one--" began Mrs. Lathrop.
"I don't know," said Miss Clegg, "I don't believe so. Even the ministeris mad; I met him comin' home an' I couldn't see what he had to complainof, for I didn't remember there bein' a single word about him in thewhole paper. Come to find out he was all used up 'cause there _wasn't_nothin' about him in it. He told me in confidence as he never got sucha shock in all his life. He says he read the paper over nine times aforehe was able to sense it, an' he says his last sermon was on hidin' yourlight under a bushel basket an' he had a copy all ready if Elijah hadonly come for it. He says he shall preach next Sunday on cryin' out untoyou to get up, an' he shall take a copy to E
lijah himself. I cheered himup all I could. I told him as a sermon preached on Sunday was n't likelyto be no great novelty to no one on the Saturday after, but I'd see thathe got it back all safe if Elijah throwed it into his scrap-basket. Thatseems to be the big part of bein' a editor--the throwin' things in hisscrap-basket. Elijah's scrap-basket is far from bein' the joy of my lifefor he tears everythin' just the same way an' it makes it a long, hardjob to piece 'em together again. Some days I don't get time an' then I_do_ get so aggravated."
"Have you ever--" asked Mrs. Lathrop with real interest.
"Not yet, but he ain't got really started yet. It's when the paper getsto Meadville an' Meadville begins to write him back what they thinkabout what he thinks of them, that that scrap-basket will beinterestin'! I guess I'll go home now an' make biscuits for supper. Hewas comin' back on the five-o'clock train. Poor Elijah, he'll have ahard day to-morrow but it'll do him good. Men never have to clean house,so the Lord has to discipline their souls any way he can, I suppose, an'to my order o' thinkin' this runnin' a newspaper is goin' to send Elijaha long ways upwards on his heavenly journey."
"Does--" asked Mrs. Lathrop, rising heavily to bid her friend good-bye.
"Most likely," said Susan; "at any rate if he does n't have anyappetite. I like 'em myself."