Once again, Hector felt numb. Even with the shitty hand Walter had been dealt, especially in comparison to Hector’s, here he was trying to make Hector feel better. But he’d done just the opposite. Hector didn’t think it was possible, but, unbelievably, he felt even worse now.
Chapter 13
Most days Drew and Charlee tried to carpool to school together to save on gas. So on Monday mornings, Charlee either left later, taking her own car, or she rode with Drew and hung out on campus for an hour, killing time because Drew’s first class was earlier than Charlee’s first.
Unable to sleep much again with the anticipation of seeing Hector today, Charlee was up early, so she had ridden in with Drew. She’d been trying to concentrate on the novel she started weeks ago. It was actually pretty good, but her mind kept wandering off to the usual—Hector.
Startled by the sudden body that sat down way too close next to her, she jerked away and gasped when she saw it was Ross. Since the time he’d approached her the morning she was walking through campus with Drew, she hadn’t run into him again. She’d seen him a few times from afar and made sure she steered clear from him. Now he sat here next to her, the faint smell of marijuana not as penetrating as her first few encounters with him but still there.
“Morning,” he smiled.
Instinctively Drew moved away, but she didn’t want to be too dramatic about it, so she abstained from jumping up and away from him like she really wanted to.
“Morning,” she said as calmly as she could.
“I’ve been hoping to run into you alone.” That statement from anyone else wouldn’t be so creepy, but coming from Ross, it was just that. He must’ve seen it in her questioning eyes because he added. “I mean so I can talk to you. I wanted to apologize and tell you how sorry I am that I made such a bad first impression.”
Not sure how else to respond, she nodded, gathering her things but avoided direct eye contact. “It’s okay.”
“I was also wondering if you don’t have a class anytime soon if we can go grab some coffee or something. You know a kind of peace offering.”
This time she did meet his eyes. Unlike Hector’s sexy, carefree and very bright eyes even when they got all intense, Ross’s were a bit bloodshot and glossed over as they were the last few times she’d seen him, no doubt from all the pot he smoked. But there was something more cynical about them too.
She started to shake her head, and when he reached over and touched her leg, Charlee sprung to her feet immediately. “Whoa wait!” Ross lifted his hand up in the air to show her he meant no harm. “I’ll behave. I promise. I just wanna talk to you a little more.”
“I can’t right now. I have to go.” She lied, picking up her last book from the bench.
Her heart sped up when he stood up next to her. She was only glad she was in the middle of the campus with lots of other students still around, unlike that first time.
“You ready to go, Charlee?” She turned to see Walter standing there with his backpack over his shoulder, looking a little surer of himself than he had the first time he came to her rescue.
Immediately catching on, she nodded. “Yes, we’re late.” With a quick half smile, she glanced at Ross, who was now frowning, and hooked her arm into Walter’s. “Let’s go.”
“I’ll take a rain check then,” Ross said as she and Walter walked away quickly.
“Rain check for what?” Walter asked in a low voice. “What did he want?”
“To have coffee with me and you saved me again. Thank you, Walter.” Charlee pulled her arm out of Walter’s when they turned the corner of a building and she was sure they were out of Ross’s sight. “Sorry about latching on to you.” She shrugged. “It was an impulse I guess—felt safer.”
“It’s okay,” Walter smiled. “I didn’t mind. So he’s still bothering you, huh?”
“Actually, I hadn’t seen him in a while, and I’m pretty sure he’s not out to harm me, not here on campus in broad daylight, anyway. It’s just . . .” She glanced at Walter a bit hesitant to go on but then did anyway. “He brings back old memories for me.”
Walter’s eyes opened a bit surprised. “You know him from way back?”
“No.” Charlee shook her head before taking a seat on a bench. Walter sat next to her, and she turned to him with a frail smile. “But feeling spooked or maybe just harassed by someone like him brings back old memories of when I was a kid in school.” She lifted a shoulder. “I’ve always been really shy. So I didn’t do well fitting in. The kids were . . . Well they weren’t very nice. It’s why I ended up just being homeschooled.”
Walter’s eyes opened even wider. “You left school because you were bullied? So did I.”
She tilted her head. This shouldn’t surprise her, but he was so big. “Really?”
Walter frowned. “Well, I was practically done with school. Just a little over a month before I finished high school, I dropped out. It was kind of impulsive and stupid actually, but I’d just had it.”
Charlee shook her head, taking a deep breath and glanced away. “I just don’t understand what it is about people that make them enjoy being cruel to others. I don’t think it’s Ross’s intention to be cruel.”
“He’s a jerk, Charlee.”
“Oh, I know.” Charlee glanced back at him, agreeing quickly. “I’m just saying I don’t think he means to hassle me more than pursue me, but it’s the way he goes about it—so aggressively and intimidating, like his just sitting down so close to me today, especially because our first encounter didn’t go over well at all. That’s what drudges up the ugly memories.”
“Well, I wouldn’t take my guard down about him not meaning any harm.” Walter said with a somber expression. “I still remember that look in his eye the day you wouldn’t give into him.”
Charlee thought about the first time she ran into him after that day and how creepy it had felt. “I won’t.” She smiled and stood up. “I better get going. I was so busy just trying to get as far as away from Ross that I went the opposite direction. My next class is clear across campus.”
Walter stood up. “I’ll walk you.”
“No, you don’t have to, Walter. Being my bodyguard is not your job.”
Walter shook his head. “My next class is that way too. And I want to.” His smile was a shy one. “Who knows? Now that I’m working out so much, maybe I will look into doing some bodyguard work.”
Charlee smiled maybe a little too big. Just like that, the butterflies in her belly started up again. Walter talking about working out was all it took to bring on the thoughts of Hector, his rock hard body, and the fact that she’d be seeing him again soon.
With her heart rate already taking a flying leap, she reminded herself of what she promised Drew. No matter what happened, she would remain composed. Charlee had also promised she wouldn’t do what she tended to do when she was trying to cover up feeling hurt or uncomfortable—overcompensate by acting too much the opposite way or say something rash if she got angry. She shouldn’t be angry, because in this day and age people did things like this all the time. Becoming angry or hurt would only make it obvious that Hector had been the first guy she’d done anything like this with. Charlee shouldn’t give him the pleasure of knowing that, if he didn’t deserve it. She was a modern woman living in a modern world. This was true. She agreed completely, even though this was huge for her.
Charlee smiled inwardly, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She remembered the way Hector gazed so tenderly into her eyes, kissed her so sweetly, and how sincere he was when he’d said the things he had. What she didn’t dare tell Drew was that the more she thought about Friday night, the more she was convinced this hadn’t been so insignificant for him either.
***
Monday . . . Tuesday . . . Wednesday . . . Thursday. . . Disappointment didn’t even begin to describe what Charlee was feeling. Hector hadn’t bothered to show up for chess lab all week. It was already Friday, and Charlee was certain he was avoiding her. Overhearin
g the guys and Walter talk about Hector with the two girls he’d apparently taken home again last Friday night didn’t help either.
As devastated as she felt, she was madder at herself than anything. He’d shown up with two girls—two girls he knew she’d seen grinding up on him on the dance floor just prior to them ending up in that room. And though he’d referred to them as just friends, Charlee knew exactly what kind of friends they were and, therefore, what kind of guy that made him, and still she’d gone against her better judgment and allowed him to kiss her.
The worst part of it all was even though Drew insisted this wasn’t a big deal, and it really shouldn’t be because she hardly knew him, it was. It was a very big deal. Every day that week when she walked to the chess lab, her insides would knot up about the possibility of facing him again.
Even though she’d given up hope that he would show up this week at all, her insides were already knotting up as she took the walk of shame to the chess lab again. More than likely, he’d give it at least an entire week, if not more, then show up next week sometime and act as though nothing had happened.
As much as she dreaded facing him now, she almost wished he’d just show up already so she could get it over with. Just as she made it up the stairs of the physics building, she heard it.
“Charlee!”
Her heart was immediately at her throat when she turned and saw him hurrying toward her. Wish granted.
Trying desperately to push back the emotion that just seeing him brought on, she focused on trying to appear unfazed. His expression gave nothing away. She didn’t know what to make of it. The fact that he was hurrying toward her, however, could be a good thing. Had he missed seeing her as much as she’d missed him?
Instead of rushing up the stairs and pulling her to him like she’d begun to envision, he stopped at the bottom when he got to it. The dark 5th Street t-shirt he wore was a little on the snug side, and she could make out those abs and strong chest—the chest she’d been pressed up again that amazing night. “Can I talk to you for a second before we go in there?” He motioned to the doorway of the physics building where the lab was at.
Nodding and beginning to feel a little numb, she made her way back down the few steps, ignoring her tangling insides. Unlike Friday and all the other recent times she’d been around him, he now avoided making eye contact for longer than a few seconds. Charlee already had a very bad feeling about this.
They moved off to the side to avoid blocking the stairway, and then he said what he’d been in such a hurry to get to her for. “Does, uh,” he glanced back at the building. “Does anyone know about last Friday? Anyone from the chess team?”
She shook her head, staring at him, her stomach dropping because she knew now where this was going. “No.”
His relieved expression both confirmed it and mortified her, but she dare not show it. “Can we keep it that way?” His eyes met hers, and for a moment, she saw that tenderness she’d seen Friday night, but he glanced away quickly. “I mean I just don’t want things to get weird, you know?” He shrugged, looking back at her with a forced smirk, but his eyes were vacant now—cold. “Shit happens when you’re drinking and not thinking straight. People do things they shouldn’t. That’s all it was. But if you’re cool with it, we can pretend it never happened.”
Not falling apart. Not falling apart.
Feeling the air sucked out of her, she took a moment to gather her wits. As the realization of what he’d just said sunk in, the knots in her stomach unraveled into angry flaying whips. Just like last year, she’d been completely off the mark. Hector was no better than the other jerk who’d humiliated her so callously. Feeling a sudden rebellion like none she’d ever felt, Charlee smiled and began to move because she couldn’t stand there staring into those cold unfeeling eyes for even another second. “Not to worry, Hector. Your party wasn’t the only one I went to last weekend. I’d already forgotten about that.”
That sparked something in those unfeeling eyes, and the smirk he’d worn earlier was wiped clean. She could tell she’d stunned him into silence. Yeah, take that.
“Is that right?” He finally said as he walked alongside her.
She smiled as naturally as she could and fought the urge to stop right there and tell him off, but she didn’t. Instead she glanced at his hardened stare. It was the same one she’d seen last week when she checkmated his ass. Only instead of intimidating her as it had last week, this time it made her feel a little better.
Good. He probably expected her to be mortified or react the way she really wanted to and confirm that she really was different, just like he’d told her that night: different from all the whores he was usually with—prove what he’d obviously figured out that night. That he was the first guy she’d made out with ever. He’d messed with a prissy little virgin who was probably expecting much more from him now than all those other girls. Well, she’d be damned if she’d give him the pleasure. “Yep, I had an exhausting weekend.”
Charlee realized she was overcompensating—being rash. Drew could call it whatever the hell she wanted, but she was done being the martyr. From that moment on as she hurried up the stairs feeling the slow boil in her veins with a silent, brooding, Hector beside her, she vowed never to let heartless jerks bring her down again.
Hector opened the door for her, and she strutted by him, doing her best to ignore the scent of his cologne because the memory it induced nearly choked her. As soon as she entered the lab, she zeroed in on Damian, knowing from experience a game against him would take just as long as she intended on being there: long enough so that it wasn’t too obvious she wanted nothing more than to run out of there and as far away from Hector as she could A.S.A.P., but not too lengthy, because she wasn’t sure how much longer the indifferent act would hold up.
As expected, she played a crap game. It was impossible to concentrate while trying to disguise how she was feeling. Keeping her eyes off Hector hadn’t been difficult. She’d been terrified the entire time to even glance his way. The moment that Damian won, she shook his hand with a smile. “Good game.”
She gathered her things, relieved that she could finally get out of there, and made her way to the door.
“You’re leaving already?” Walter asked curiously.
He was sitting at a table with Hector and two other guys. Charlee allowed herself a quick glance at Hector after smiling and nodding at Walter. The hardened expression from earlier was still plastered on his face and that perfectly defined jaw from his flexing. “Yep,” she said, looking Hector directly in the eyes and continued to smile. “I’m going out, so I gotta go get ready. Have a good one, guys.” She waved at them with her fingers in that playful way she’d seen other girls do and walked out.
As she walked down the stairs of the building, she almost expected him to come after her, but, of course, he didn’t. Feeling the hot tears already burn in her eyes and the boulder-sized knot in her throat swell impossibly bigger, she began walking faster. “Fucking bastard. Fucking bastard!”
With her chest already heaving, even as she tried to hold it all in, Charlee was only grateful now that Fridays were the one day she and Drew always took separate cars. The second she got in the car, Charlee slammed the door shut, buried her face in her hands, and sobbed.
~*~
It took every ounce of self-restraint to not go after her. Hell, it took everything in him to keep his comments about her exhausting weekend to himself. That had to be a lie. Either that or he misunderstood. She could’ve been talking about the Special Olympics thing. She wasn’t that type of girl. He knew this, even if she had very easily given into him that night. It was just kissing. She wouldn’t have let him do more. Would she?
Your party wasn’t the only I went to last weekend. I’d already forgotten about that. “Bullshit,” Hector muttered, fisting his hand on the table. Not a day had gone by since that night that he hadn’t thought about it—thought about her.
“What?” Walter asked, looking up fro
m the chessboard. “That’s a fair move.”
Hector hadn’t even been looking at the board in front of him. He glanced down now, glad to see that in just a few moves Walter would have him. He knew he wouldn’t be in a mood to play before he’d even driven down there, and he certainly wasn’t after talking to Charlee. He moved his rook ignoring Walter’s comment. A few minutes later, the game was over.
“So she’s coming over tomorrow afternoon to check out the robot.” Walter smiled, sitting back in his seat. “I finally perfected it again, and I set up a few things I could do to demonstrate it to her. This should be good.”
Hector stared at him, continuing to grind his teeth like he’d been doing ever since he’d talked to Charlee. She was the last thing he wanted to talk about right now, but he knew this wouldn’t be the case with Walter. She was all he ever wanted to talk about. That’s why all week after Sunday, he kept the workouts with Walter to just that. He’d set Walter up then walk away before he could start talking. Avoiding any talk of her had been fairly easy that week since the only time he’d see Walter was at the gym. All week he’d debated with himself whether to do the right thing or not. He’d hoped that giving it a few days before seeing her again would take the strain off, but he’d been wrong—so wrong.
He expected her to be pissed or even hurt, not that he’d looked forward to that. He just thought it was inevitable. If he’d known this would be the reaction he’d get, he might’ve told her the truth. Here he held back telling her that Walter was his only reason for holding back, that if it weren’t for Walter, he’d for the first time since he discovered girls, felt the desire to delve into something deeper than just a physical relationship with one—a desire that up until now had completely eluded him.